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(Fark)   Give the gift of TotalFark. Immediate delivery, no waiting in lines   ( fark.com) divider line
    More: Spiffy  
•       •       •

4105 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Dec 2004 at 10:47 AM (12 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



927 Comments     (+0 »)
 


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2004-12-21 10:48:18 AM  
Many of you have asked for a way to gift another farker with TotalFark. It's available and quite easy to set up.
 
2004-12-21 10:49:15 AM  
Am I first? Please e-mail me at bouterpreekprack at gmail dot com.
 
2004-12-21 10:49:16 AM  
I'd like to have TF, but alas, I am just a poor young boy, lost in this crazy ol' world.
 
2004-12-21 10:49:34 AM  
If anyone is looking for someone to give this gift to, look no further.

/PLEASE!
 
2004-12-21 10:51:05 AM  
I'd like Totalfark too. Be nice!
 
2004-12-21 10:51:06 AM  
I also would be very please if I were to receive TF as a gift!
 
2004-12-21 10:51:13 AM  
It was the only thing on my list!
 
2004-12-21 10:51:16 AM  
You can gift yourself as well - a mere $5
 
2004-12-21 10:51:16 AM  
yeah i could REALLY use totalfark, but i'm just trying to make it was a college student.


:-(


if someone gives me totalfark i'll follow them around forever and be their apprentice :-D
 
2004-12-21 10:51:24 AM  
I will give a subscription to the first person to come to my office and ask me.
 
2004-12-21 10:51:27 AM  
As I'm being forced by my SO to move to Port Townsend from NYC next month and I think I deserve ascension... I'll add it to the ongoing negotiations.
 
2004-12-21 10:51:41 AM  
Oh Please!!! I gave Gmail- lots of Gmail! Grant me this gift!
 
2004-12-21 10:51:47 AM  
I don't know what it is that you beneficient TFers go for in the way of groveling, so I'll just say....that.
 
2004-12-21 10:52:04 AM  
Can I give a TF gift to a lurker who doesn't have a Fark handle?
 
2004-12-21 10:52:14 AM  
YOU GET A JOB!

also, I'd sponser anyone that lost their TF'ness as a result of my actions, you know who you are
 
2004-12-21 10:52:32 AM  
Last time I did this I signed up 4 people. 3 never post.

Meff.
 
2004-12-21 10:52:33 AM  
I will wash your car :] and keep reindeer poop off your lawn. sdwilly22atgmaildotcom
 
2004-12-21 10:52:39 AM  
If chosen, I'd pass the favor on to some other Liter...


"Please Sir, could I have some more?"
 
2004-12-21 10:52:54 AM  
I have a girlfriend. She makes me poor. May I please have total Fark?

/Have gmail will give. kisses.
 
2004-12-21 10:53:00 AM  
please don't give me TF, i don't want it!
 
2004-12-21 10:53:07 AM  
it's only pennies a day and you can help little shermangfn be happy this christmas, God bless us, every one.
 
2004-12-21 10:53:19 AM  
I already have TF but my wishlist is in my profile (and my bday is in 3 days *hint* *hint*)
 
2004-12-21 10:53:23 AM  
Only those of us who have submitted links should be worthy. Send these others into the outer darkness that is greenlight viginity where they belong. :)
 
2004-12-21 10:53:33 AM  
and now I'll just sit back and enjoy reading through the flood of requests for the next hour or so...
F5
F5
F5
 
2004-12-21 10:53:48 AM  
for those of you who feel the need to put money in that bum's cup on the street, please pretend that I am that bum. much like that bum, i promise to spend any money i save on booze or drugs.
 
2004-12-21 10:53:51 AM  
Cool! Anyone want to give one to someone that isn't a liberal? I'm your man!
 
2004-12-21 10:53:59 AM  
If any TotalFarkers feel the need to be generous. I am willing to take your generosity at phantom523atgmail.com
 
2004-12-21 10:54:04 AM  
Me want, Me want!
 
2004-12-21 10:54:08 AM  
I would pay it forward :O

txag2k at hotmail
 
2004-12-21 10:54:12 AM  
now, you lucky liters who get chosen be sure to take a shower before you come to TF. and clean you shoes.

/just joking. the more, the merrier, the happier drew is
 
2004-12-21 10:54:28 AM  
If anyone should happen to look my way, know this: I will be in debt to you and your children and your children's children if you should happen to let me peer into the vaults of TF for the first time.

I have heard great things, but alas, I'm a poor student (in more than one way) and already in the minus column at the end of each month. And my penguin is sick.

/think of the penguin
 
2004-12-21 10:54:38 AM  
Step 1: Activate email phisher...
Step 2: Refresh
Step 3: Profit!
 
2004-12-21 10:54:48 AM  
this is kind of funny.

the groveling. (;
 
2004-12-21 10:54:53 AM  
I can trade a Gamil account or two for a total fark account.

/Don't really care actually, but I have 3 to gove away and no more friends.
//Guess that makes me a total dork.
 
2004-12-21 10:54:59 AM  
/looks up with big puppy dog eyes
//looks at bills for school
///appreciates all TF sponsorin' that may/may not take place
////Goes back to studying for final
 
2004-12-21 10:55:06 AM  
By giving me TotalFark, you will get to have sex with 47 virgins. At the SAAAAAAAAAAMMMMEEEEE TIIIMMMEEEE.
 
2004-12-21 10:55:41 AM  
If I get TF, I'll dance for nickels afterwards. I promise!
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2004-12-21 10:55:41 AM  
Any chance of a non-paypal payment method?
 
2004-12-21 10:55:51 AM  
I have just moved out of my parents house for the first time. Living on my own, away from my parents, wondering if the bills will make it there ontime and all I want is a little joy in life something that will help me through the tuff times. Please.....help me....with laughter.....

/ph­ree­k­boi[nospam-﹫-backwards]l­ia­mg*com.......
 
2004-12-21 10:56:13 AM  
Mr. Programmer:

I already have TF but my wishlist is in my profile (and my bday is in 3 days *hint* *hint*)

Damn, born on christmas. That must suck. Less O'course that's sarcasm flying over my head.
 
2004-12-21 10:56:37 AM  
I wish I were "worthy" of totalfark.

heh. OK, I really just wish y'all would accept a link I submitted every now and then.

The only real reason I can come up with for anyone to gift me with the awesomeness that is total fark is that I'm often a rare voice of reason from the conservative side of the equation. I'll point you to one of the most amazing conversations I've ever had about homosexuality, be it online or not online. It was a few weeks ago, on one of these boards, where conservatives and liberals alike had a 2 and a half hour conversation validly listening to each other's points and chasing off people who were trying to start flame wars.

It was awesome.

Is there more of that in totalfark?
 
2004-12-21 10:56:39 AM  
pretty please. and by please, I mean gimme gimme gimme.

markwmshotmail.com

muchos gracias.
 
2004-12-21 10:57:05 AM  
whos gonna teach all the newbst the secret handshake?

oops, Ive said too much
 
2004-12-21 10:57:19 AM  
i'll give it a shot.. anyone wanna hook me up?? twoshort at gmail.com.. i have all kinds of invites and whatnot if ya need 'em

THANKS!
 
2004-12-21 10:57:49 AM  
These are funny. Merry Xmas

http://www.southflorida.com/events/sfl-scaredsanta,0,2245506.photogall​ery?coll =sfe-events-headlines&index=1

/HTML Idiot.
 
2004-12-21 10:57:55 AM  
it's gotta be said.

Future potential TFettes, wishing to pray upon my generosity can audition their boobies to the gmail in my profile.

/obvious
 
2004-12-21 10:57:57 AM  
My TF gifting requirements:

1. Female
2. Liberal
3. Easy

(send applications to email in profile)
 
2004-12-21 10:58:02 AM  
StrikitRich
If chosen, I'd pass the favor on to some other Liter...

So instead of begging for an account and saying that you'd buy another Liter one, why don't you cut through all the red tape and get one for yourself instead?

/just sayin'
 
2004-12-21 10:58:04 AM  
I can't think of anything to say that might make people want to give me TotalFark. Pretend I did.
 
2004-12-21 10:58:06 AM  
Oh, yeah, e-mail. If anyone give's a rat's ass it's wa­lkingm­en­2[nospam-﹫-backwards]l­iamt­oh­*c­om - and I have 4 gmail invites and a phone shaped like Mary Worth to give away.
 
2004-12-21 10:58:15 AM  
TF would be nice, i'm not holding my breath though. thanks in advance.

M­ashed*Potato­*Jones­[nospam-﹫-backwards]liam­g*com
 
2004-12-21 10:58:16 AM  
someone pay my next years fees, kthx
 
2004-12-21 10:58:29 AM  
I am so broke today - so very very broke.

But I too will watch and take notes. Payday is tomorrow...
 
2004-12-21 10:58:34 AM  
this is the longest i have spent on fark lite in months.

proud memeber of the tf elite
 
2004-12-21 10:58:50 AM  
Please sir/madam,

May I have some TotalFark?

Make this lonely Kerry voter in Idaho not so sad this holiday season. :)
 
2004-12-21 10:59:09 AM  
Ahhh.....so many to choose from
 
2004-12-21 10:59:23 AM  
Is there more of that in totalfark?

you bet it is. and we have free donuts, all the colors of the rainbow
 
2004-12-21 10:59:25 AM  
and the whole g-mail thing? not a good selling point...
 
2004-12-21 10:59:38 AM  
Gunther, dec 24.. it can suck.. some people get 2 gifts (xmas and bday) but others think they're clever when they say "here's your gift, for christmas AND your birthday".. cheap bastards
 
2004-12-21 10:59:55 AM  
rabidmarmot
Kerry voter in Idaho

Is that even possible? I thought my parents were the only ones.
 
2004-12-21 11:00:13 AM  
Last time I did this I signed up 4 people. 3 never post.

never even post?
i'd be posting
/what am i sayin', i'd probably be stalkin'
/just sayin'

i don't know who initially sponsored me, but i am very thankful

and thankful to Argh_Dammit for giving me a stay of execution when my time runs out Jan 1st

/gotta figure out a way to get TF without showing up on a credit card!
 
2004-12-21 11:00:13 AM  
speaking of unloading gmail invites...where can I do that? I know people get a bit testy when its not in the right place. I have ten, let me know.
 
2004-12-21 11:00:17 AM  
If TotalFark comes my way, I'll have something to do on Christmas Day
 
2004-12-21 11:00:35 AM  
I would like to add my name to the list of grovelers for TF

washwash at gmail dot com

/groveling
 
2004-12-21 11:00:41 AM  
Everyone asking for totalfark on this thread is a tool...cough up the dough yourselves if you really want it and stop begging complete strangers to give it to you.
 
2004-12-21 11:01:25 AM  
Argh_Dammit: and the whole g-mail thing? not a good selling point...

Yep. All of us TotalFarkers have gmail accounts coming out of the wahooza !

Any British Farkers here ? I may consider sponsoring a fellow Brit for a month (TotalFark is quiet in the mornings until America wakes up).

Email in profile
 
2004-12-21 11:01:30 AM  
Argh_Dammit: and the whole g-mail thing? not a good selling point...

You're just jealous of the awesome 1337ness of the select members of the gmail mafia.

/also have the Paris Hilton tape, suckahz
 
2004-12-21 11:02:11 AM  
The selling point that got me ws the fact that you could sort all the boobies links with a click of the mouse.

How many links do you liters see in a day? 50?
Try 5000 for TF.
 
2004-12-21 11:02:23 AM  
So... why are people posting their email addresses?
 
2004-12-21 11:02:35 AM  
You can have your total farking moral superiority crap I don't want!!


-tries reverse psychology
 
2004-12-21 11:02:48 AM  
I will give TF to someone under these conditions:

1) You must read, understand, and follow the FARQ, as well as Argh_Dammit's helpful little n00bies page.

2) You do not post zillions of "Advice" or "Survey" topics once you get TF.

3) You read/listen more than you talk.

4) You have an e-mail address in your profile (c'mon, people!)

4 1/2) Being a Farkette helps, too.
 
2004-12-21 11:02:50 AM  
Advice - because I'm too cheap to pay for strangers - gmail invites? Errr - If there's anybody left on the internet who wants gmail but doesn't have it, and a spare account, and a dozen invites hanging around they never got a chance to use? They probably aren't l33t enough to be tfarkers. Consider boobies as bribes with a little more weight.
 
2004-12-21 11:02:52 AM  
EclecticLaydee

So instead of begging for an account and saying that you'd buy another Liter one, why don't you cut through all the red tape and get one for yourself instead?

/just sayin'


C'mon, EclecticLaydee - you actually think logic will work on the unwashed masses?

*shakes head*
 
2004-12-21 11:03:08 AM  
I will not grovel, however I will do my best to post comments with proper grammar, spelling, and punctuation.

/and I won't use slashes
 
2004-12-21 11:03:14 AM  
morrison? what is 1337ness?
 
2004-12-21 11:03:20 AM  
It was awesome.

Is there more of that in totalfark?


Drake Kyrros: Yes, why yes, there is. (: Good to hear a reasonable conservative voice. Y'all get drowned out by the whacko sometimes. My peeps are the same way. (:
 
2004-12-21 11:03:21 AM  
morrisonsl:

You're just jealous of the awesome 1337ness of the select members of the gmail mafia.

making me laugh - good for a point or two.
 
2004-12-21 11:03:35 AM  
Hello. My name is Rahim. I am a six-year-old goat-herder living in Raznahzbekistan. Because of the war there, I have been left with no arms, no legs, and no goats. Please do not leave me with no TotalFark as well.

Thank you,
Rahim
 
2004-12-21 11:04:07 AM  
Chester1977

Do a search for the "leet" language
 
2004-12-21 11:04:17 AM  
ducTape

1) done.
2) never have.
3) that's me.
4) there.
4 1/2) d'oh!
 
2004-12-21 11:05:10 AM  
Hey, I'm a Brit malcy...I'm also freelance so what I'd gain in TotalFarking I would lose in doing actual paid work, but hell.
 
2004-12-21 11:05:13 AM  
Teh groveling is pathetic. Sheesh!! Have some dignity folks.
 
2004-12-21 11:05:25 AM  
While you liters are reading this, STOP WITH THE
img.fark.netView Full Size
!!! We already know, trust me.

/the TFers
 
2004-12-21 11:05:25 AM  
i haven't had very good luck with my sponsored pets. they always die in a few days, and it's hard to flush them down the toilet.
 
2004-12-21 11:05:29 AM  
I have great news. In my country there was a very rich person who died and had the same last name as you. We can split his money if you give me a total fark account.
 
2004-12-21 11:05:32 AM  
I would if it did not rebill automatically. I would pay for 6 months or a year and then when it expires, it expires.
 
2004-12-21 11:05:34 AM  
morrisonsl

You're just jealous of the awesome 1337ness of the select members of the gmail mafia.

/also have the Paris Hilton tape, suckahz


Let me guess - you also have the AYB video and the mahir site...

so does everyone else

/just sayin
 
2004-12-21 11:05:38 AM  
El_Bastard
C'mon, EclecticLaydee - you actually think logic will work on the unwashed masses?

True, I come to green lighted threads so infrequently I forget what it's like in here. Ick, I suddenly feel the need to wash my hair.
 
2004-12-21 11:05:45 AM  
malcy: Any British Farkers here ?

G'day mate, sponsor a fellow Britton? I'm from... eh... Londonbury, where I make kidney pies and union jacks.

/worst. attempt. ever.
 
2004-12-21 11:05:46 AM  
khatchaturian
Well I am in Blaine Co. but it is kinda scary looking at a voting by-county map and being the only slightly blue one surronded by red.
 
2004-12-21 11:06:13 AM  
Hoo boy.
 
2004-12-21 11:06:15 AM  
pathetic
 
2004-12-21 11:06:16 AM  
Can someone give me TotalFark pleeeaaaassseee? I just had my appendix removed two days ago, and I could really use something to keep my mind off the pain...
 
2004-12-21 11:06:19 AM  
I gave out two TF accounts the last time we did this.
One promised boobies, the other promised Guinness.

I got nothing from either.

Not even a thank you, which is all I really wanted.

So bah humbug this time around.
Bah humbug in your stupid asses.

/Seriously, skip the Starbucks for a day and there's your TotalFark.
 
2004-12-21 11:06:23 AM  
Yeah, I'd love to get some TF, tyl­er­*sne­ed­[nospam-﹫-backwards]li­a­m­g*c­om
 
2004-12-21 11:06:26 AM  
alcoholic_entropy:

While you liters are reading this, STOP WITH THE [NEWSFLASH] !!! We already know, trust me.

/the TFers


hahaha...this looks like a good place for a stick-up.
 
2004-12-21 11:06:53 AM  
I would just like to try it .... so I'll ask politely as I was taught ...

Please :)
 
2004-12-21 11:07:07 AM  
I am saving my money for TotalTheHun :P
 
2004-12-21 11:07:08 AM  
i give you boobies and you give me totalfark, so here...boobies!!!

http://www.dwave.net/~donauw/Washisland/boobies.jpg


NSFW if you are donald duck
 
2004-12-21 11:07:12 AM  
I'm the 199998th farker...I should've gotten some TF action for merely being in the vicinity of sirphobos21. Alas, no lovin' for the 'weasl.
 
2004-12-21 11:07:29 AM  
I forgot one thing-- my e-mail is marcinjb [at] gmail.com, and if you give to TF, I'll give you a gmail invite as well. Please, TF for the guy with a big slit on his gut
 
2004-12-21 11:07:42 AM  
First farker that can locate the Paige Davis sex tape gets 2 months from me.
 
2004-12-21 11:07:55 AM  
EclecticLaydee

True, I come to green lighted threads so infrequently I forget what it's like in here. Ick, I suddenly feel the need to wash my hair.


Here, let me give you a hand with that...

/bow chikka...
 
2004-12-21 11:08:04 AM  
I was thinking about Total Fark, and then I realized, I already spend about 90-120 minutes a day on Fark. If I got Total Fark, I would become the laziest person ever.
 
2004-12-21 11:08:10 AM  
Your gmail invites are not effective currency in the world of TF.
 
2004-12-21 11:08:17 AM  
Hello. My name is Rahim. I am a six-year-old goat-herder living in Raznahzbekistan. Because of the war there, I have been left with no arms, no legs, and no goats. Please do not leave me with no TotalFark as well.

Thank you,
Rahim


Looks like I found someone to sponsor.
 
2004-12-21 11:08:35 AM  
alcoholic_entropy That was unnecessarily snotty! Shame on you.
 
2004-12-21 11:08:51 AM  
I'll buy one month of TF for the first person to make a funny photoshop of me with MC Hammer.

http://mayotech.com/images/mchammer.jpg
 
2004-12-21 11:08:54 AM  
Well, I WOULD sign up, if there were some other form of payment than PayPal.
 
2004-12-21 11:09:02 AM  
Small_T:

2004-12-21 11:08:35 AM Small_T [TotalFark]

alcoholic_entropy That was unnecessarily snotty! Shame on you.


It was a joke, relax.
 
2004-12-21 11:09:08 AM  
El_Bastard See? I'll work my way up to that other list yet!
 
2004-12-21 11:09:13 AM  
I'll consider sponsoring extreme leftists who are into macrame, nougat, snowshovelling & public relations.

Am I describing you?
 
2004-12-21 11:09:35 AM  
pheen: Looks like I found someone to sponsor.

I had written his name too - i'll cross it off..
 
2004-12-21 11:09:39 AM  
*relaxes* ;)
 
2004-12-21 11:09:44 AM  
LuckPusher

I can only imagine....

Wait, I really don't want to. Some of that crap...(shudder)
 
2004-12-21 11:09:45 AM  
OK, if you want it, the first person to answer my trivia gets one month.

Question: In Excalibur, who was the last knight alive?
 
2004-12-21 11:09:52 AM  
"I gave out two TF accounts the last time we did this.
One promised boobies, the other promised Guinness. "

they fooled you. I think Ill give out six months
emails in the profile.
 
2004-12-21 11:10:05 AM  
Nicky Nice Nose:

Cool! Anyone want to give one to someone that isn't a liberal? I'm your man!

A real conservative would do it on his own and not wait for someone else to give it to him...

(How 'bout them Pats eh?)
 
2004-12-21 11:10:19 AM  
Is this the best you guys can do?

might as well keep my money for the total fark stripclub xmas extravaganza.
 
2004-12-21 11:10:30 AM  
I might as well throw in here as well. Thanks

/Ex-TF'er that wouldn't mind it again.
 
2004-12-21 11:10:31 AM  
Ehh, next paycheck, I'll go TF on my own.
 
2004-12-21 11:10:39 AM  
EclecticLaydee

El_Bastard See? I'll work my way up to that other list yet!


You really think I'm so easy that a little shower is all it takes?

/what about time, love and tenderness? *sniff*
 
2004-12-21 11:10:55 AM  
Are there any more TF accts. to go around. I would have posted earlier but I was so busy helping neighborhood children learn about the true meaning of christmas, as we walked the neighborhood feeding elderly couples and singing Christmas songs....

No really I had to remove spyware from this foreign guy's PC, then I came back to my desk, checked out some photoshops, didn't refresh the main page, yada, yada, yada....here I am.

/pouting lips
//big, teary puppy dog eyes
 
2004-12-21 11:11:03 AM  
prolog: You got a month.
 
2004-12-21 11:11:15 AM  
Burbur

can I answer?
 
2004-12-21 11:11:36 AM  
burber: Question: In Excalibur, who was the last knight alive?

Sir Bedievere?
 
2004-12-21 11:11:53 AM  
londongirl

If you want a month email me

morrisonsl:

G'day mate, sponsor a fellow Britton? I'm from... eh... Londonbury, where I make kidney pies and union jacks.

/worst. attempt. ever.


Yep but funny ! Golf clap for effort
 
2004-12-21 11:12:03 AM  
Batfang
no, it's for Liter's only
 
2004-12-21 11:12:10 AM  
burber:

Question: In Excalibur, who was the last knight alive?

Perceval
 
2004-12-21 11:12:15 AM  
I promise to abide by ducTape's rules if I were blessed with such an account...
 
2004-12-21 11:12:17 AM  
Can anyone get me get a totalfarker account?
the­*p­a­ku[nospam-﹫-backwards]l­i­amg*c­o­m
Here is a pic of a kitten:
[image from hometown.aol.com too old to be available]

Look into his eyes, and think "Total Farker Account for Texas Pete" would kill this sonofabiatch in two seconds flat.
 
2004-12-21 11:12:17 AM  
Uhm.. lets see.. I just pulled two A's with my 40 hour a week job, any one wanna congratulate me? twoshort AT gmail.com
 
2004-12-21 11:12:18 AM  
burber
Percival
 
2004-12-21 11:12:23 AM  
Oh yeah, I have about 10 Gmail invites if anyone needs one.

battlcat17 at gmail dot com
 
2004-12-21 11:12:47 AM  
A month of TF to whomever can answer this question, without google or other engine, on your honor:
What is the name of the sister of Sabriel the Abhorsen?
 
2004-12-21 11:12:49 AM  
El_Bastard
You really think I'm so easy that a little shower is all it takes?

/what about time, love and tenderness? *sniff*


WAIT! I have a GREAT idea! I can give you one month of TotalFark for FREE!
 
2004-12-21 11:13:21 AM  
I'm just waiting for another Farker to post somethign funny. C'mon....make me laugh.
 
2004-12-21 11:13:22 AM  
oh, and send answer to c­a­rterhawk­[nospam-﹫-backwards]l­iamg­*com with subject TF-Answer
 
2004-12-21 11:13:22 AM  
Damn, 2nd to answer.
Returning to lurk mode.
 
2004-12-21 11:14:01 AM  
By the way, I too have gmail invites. Any takers?
 
2004-12-21 11:14:10 AM  

I'm not going to beg for a TF account, but know this:

I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE



so, give the gift of life. you're life. it's the holidays, nobody has to die.

/needs meds too
 
2004-12-21 11:14:15 AM  
I have to wait for the money to get from my bank account to paypal before I sponsor one of you.
 
2004-12-21 11:14:25 AM  
as a reward to your kind generosity, all that i can promise is world peace...

r­ela­x[nospam-﹫-backwards]e­s­ruo­c­f­logeht­*co­m
 
2004-12-21 11:14:45 AM  
1) done

2) never

3) always

4) going to change profile right now...

4 1/2)a Farkette and have the shoes to prove
 
2004-12-21 11:14:56 AM  
here's funny:

[image from img.photobucket.com too old to be available]
 
2004-12-21 11:14:58 AM  
I'll throw a month of TF to someone - just email me a good reason. Email is in profile.

Happy Holidays!
 
2004-12-21 11:15:12 AM  
Wow people actually giving out TF accounts. Between this and everyone helping the children's hospitals from penny arcade, I'm no longer as jaded to the fark crowd now.
 
2004-12-21 11:15:23 AM  
Lirael
 
2004-12-21 11:15:37 AM  
Ah, I love it when the liters grovel. I love to be entertained.

/was a liter until bobgilbert showed me the way. And it was good, amen.
 
2004-12-21 11:15:43 AM  
Bonkthat_Again: C'mon....make me laugh

(dont stand too close to him tho - he schmells)
 
2004-12-21 11:16:00 AM  
ALL TFERS HAVE GMAIL ALREADY. STOP IT.
 
2004-12-21 11:16:06 AM  
code_monkey: By the way, I too have gmail invites. Any takers?

my other lifelong dream coming to reality?

that would be awesome!

relaxthegolfcourse.com

/farkit rules
 
2004-12-21 11:16:11 AM  
I have one question about TotalFark. Apparently a TFer sees everything submitted, all the time. Is there any way to turn OFF that feature?

I want my fake news filtered, darn it.
 
2004-12-21 11:16:24 AM  
Congratulations to hstaruk3 who got the one month free.
 
2004-12-21 11:16:50 AM  
hstaruk3:

Damn, 2nd to answer.

I have my spiffy
img.fark.netView Full Size
tag...I was just playing spoiler...you were only 8 seconds behind me, so technically, we could say that you were typing the same time I was...I would give it to you...
 
2004-12-21 11:16:53 AM  
I want my fake news filtered, darn it.

Then a liter you shall remain.
 
2004-12-21 11:17:18 AM  
Merry Chirstmas DrakeKyrros.

We need more sensible conservative voices.

Everyone else...do what I did. I opened a paypal account, and paid for my own subscription :-)
 
2004-12-21 11:17:20 AM  
Bonkthat_Again: ALL TFERS HAVE GMAIL ALREADY. STOP IT.


ha ha!
 
2004-12-21 11:17:24 AM  
Shepherd: You can filter headlines by adult content, politics, entertainment, etc, etc.

You can also choose to see links that have comments in them already.
 
2004-12-21 11:17:29 AM  
it's like being at a zoo watching monkeys fling their poo
 
2004-12-21 11:17:35 AM  
Shepherd:

2004-12-21 11:16:11 AM Shepherd

I have one question about TotalFark. Apparently a TFer sees everything submitted, all the time. Is there any way to turn OFF that feature?

I want my fake news filtered, darn it.



Use can screen using "commented links". That's what most of us do. That way you don't see everything, just the stuff other TFers are commenting on. Weeds out the repeats.
 
2004-12-21 11:17:48 AM  
If someone give me TF, I'll bake cookies.


/I'll just bake 'em, you don't get any... Personally, I'd be afraid to eat cookies baked by some strange farker anyway...
 
2004-12-21 11:18:00 AM  
laworderstuff: Lirael
And there you go!
 
2004-12-21 11:18:10 AM  
it smells funny in here
 
2004-12-21 11:18:12 AM  
ONE LAST TIME

*ahem*

Gmail offers to TFers is like offering Bill Gates a penny or the cash-redemption value of a coupon: tis not currency of the sort that carries any weight.

Better to fake being a girl, go to some amature site and get some boobies...

EclecticLaydee


WAIT! I have a GREAT idea! I can give you one month of TotalFark for FREE!


Ahh - the gift that keeps on giving, eh? Hrm...

So about that shower... ;)
 
2004-12-21 11:18:29 AM  
Some entries from the list of the things Coho has:

1) A 6 d-cell maglite

116) Two dozen big-foot canadian goose decoys

274) Craftsman 6 amp battery charger
 
2004-12-21 11:18:34 AM  
Shepherd:

I have one question about TotalFark. Apparently a TFer sees everything submitted, all the time. Is there any way to turn OFF that feature?


You don't "turn it off". Instead of ads on the right side, you have filtering buttons that enable you to only look at the content you want to.
 
2004-12-21 11:18:46 AM  
2004-12-21 11:17:18 AM pappy1398


Merry Chirstmas DrakeKyrros.

We need more sensible conservative voices.



Looks like my pick already got picked. (; I'll have to find another.
 
2004-12-21 11:18:46 AM  
As I have given all my money to help the local orphanage, I now have no money for a TF account. Alas, poor me.....
 
2004-12-21 11:19:12 AM  
DIA - I'll sponsor the most extreme neocon if you sponsor a liter who falls just short of being a commie.

It'll be like a cage match that we can bet on in future troll threads.
 
2004-12-21 11:19:15 AM  
gosseyn email me (in profile).
 
2004-12-21 11:19:23 AM  
Argh_Dammit: it smells funny in here


Go change those grandma panties from last month...
 
2004-12-21 11:20:10 AM  
scansinboy: skip the Starbucks for a day and there's your TotalFark.

It was worth being posted again !!
 
2004-12-21 11:20:41 AM  
Bonkthat_Again: Go change those grandma panties from last month...

who's gas blew up the cafe?

/we've said too much
 
2004-12-21 11:20:49 AM  
My TF just recently lapsed. This is my first day back as a Fark-liter, and I'm not sure if I like it. It's not a pitch, just me thinking out loud.

I'll sponsor anybody (well, the first body, anyway) that knows the answer to this question:

What's the difference between an orange?
 
2004-12-21 11:20:55 AM  
Can this link be changed to read, Beg for the gift of TotalFark. Immediate delivery, no limit to whines.?

;)
 
2004-12-21 11:21:07 AM  
One last ditch attempt: if you give me TF I will pretend to be female for you in Everquest and let you fap over my imaginary pixelized "slit".

/and I promise I won't post the pics on the internets
 
2004-12-21 11:21:34 AM  
Why do I deserve TotalFark aka $5?

Because I would steal 30 bagged lunches, not that damn sasquatch.
 
2004-12-21 11:21:38 AM  
Shepherd: There are a number of filtering options, and you can always visit regular fark if you want.
 
2004-12-21 11:21:45 AM  
And just so you all know, here's from the last few hours:

[image from jupiter.walagata.com too old to be available]
 
2004-12-21 11:21:54 AM  
Damn.. All the whining..

IT IS $5 you cheap farks. Pony up or shut up.

/been screwed over by fraternities and Amway previously, don't pay money to belong to anything. Except PTL enterprises, that Tammy Fay was SMOKING!
 
2004-12-21 11:22:00 AM  
That burger looks totally delicious. I retract my plea for a TF account and request a 6lb. hamburger in its stead. Additionally, if you can email it to me I'd be grateful.
 
2004-12-21 11:22:19 AM  
El_Bastard
So about that shower... ;)

I bought Herbal Essence shampoo last week. How come you didn't magically appear as I was getting all bubbly? In fact, come to think of it, no one appeared. I want my money back Mr. False Advertisers.

/off to pout
 
2004-12-21 11:22:30 AM  
since i was nicely sponsered last time. I picked someone who asked politely and sponsered them too. Behave and join in the conversations. that's half the fun :)

enjoy and happy holidays!
 
2004-12-21 11:22:32 AM  
In the light of morrisonsl's post, I must say that he deserves TF more than most other farkers I've seen. Seems like a smart fella and knows his cliches, and actually reads threads...
 
2004-12-21 11:22:43 AM  
Conservatives in the Fark welfare line. Now that's comedy gold!
 
2004-12-21 11:22:46 AM  
Maybe I should've gone the sob story route...

I'm losing my shirt in the market today...

Woah is me...
 
2004-12-21 11:22:50 AM  
alcoholic_entropy: And just so you all know, here's from the last few hours:

HA! You owe me a new keyboard.

/already have TF
 
2004-12-21 11:22:53 AM  
Oooo!
TotalFark!
Ooooooooooooo!
Thanks!

In the spirit of reciprocity, I've got two Gmails left to whomever would like them. Addy in profile.

Thanks again, beneficent sponsorer!
 
2004-12-21 11:22:56 AM  
I really do not want a TF account.

Because the first time I post a condescending post about Fark Liters I have promised myself that I have to throw myself in an industrial shredder.
 
2004-12-21 11:23:16 AM  
dolly_llama is mine. Everyone else back away.
 
2004-12-21 11:23:16 AM  
ducTape

1) Yes. Done. Will never make the same mistake twice
2) Never. Never read 'em, will never post 'em
3) How about a 2 year lurker who FINALLY posted something last week for the first time? I know how to keep my mouth shut.
4) Doing that next
4 1/2) Oh! Snap! Check plus. (Sorry hstaruk3 )
 
2004-12-21 11:23:32 AM  
W007!!
 
2004-12-21 11:23:35 AM  
My wife is unemployeed and we think she has MS. have some mercy!
 
2004-12-21 11:23:56 AM  
For real,

Best friends mother died, I gave 200.00 to help cover cost of buring her. His wife had to have hysterectomy and their insurance paid for 75% of it. I gave another 250.00 to assist with that.

/Friend saved me from drowning once.
I have no money for X-mas or a TF Account.
I do have a good friend, and internet access. but I would love a TF Account.

God Bless and Merry Christmas.
 
2004-12-21 11:24:37 AM  
The last time we had this sort of thread, I said "send boobies for consideration." I wish that I had said send GOOD boobies. Oh the horror.
 
2004-12-21 11:24:38 AM  
Why exactly are we trying to grovel ourselves into TF? I'm a little bit rusty on my economics but shouldn't they be the ones trying to recruit us? And maybe not even them but those charging for that service?

/going to Target to beg a sales associate to let me purchase something
 
2004-12-21 11:24:45 AM  
dogfather_jr
about this color
 
2004-12-21 11:25:22 AM  
Damn that looks good next to my name.. thanks carterhawk
 
2004-12-21 11:25:49 AM  
What's the difference between an orange?

i don't know, they look the same

won't link
http://www.explodingdog.com/two28/whatsthedif.html

/just sayin'
 
2004-12-21 11:25:52 AM  
Steve Dallas: W007!!

cool profile. But keep your cookies. :)

DGAR: I wish that I had said send GOOD boobies.

ha ha!
 
2004-12-21 11:25:59 AM  
PoorPeteBest: We like to get new people to sign up, if they're cool. It adds to the discussions.
 
2004-12-21 11:26:11 AM  
DGAR:

The last time we had this sort of thread, I said "send boobies for consideration." I wish that I had said send GOOD boobies. Oh the horror.

I never thought of doing it that way...(I can be a little slow)
 
2004-12-21 11:26:12 AM  
dolly_llama- Nice nick
Merry Christmas!
 
2004-12-21 11:26:29 AM  
/going to Target to beg a sales associate to let me purchase something

You got it wrong - I'm looking to give-away a TF account, not give you the option to buy.
 
2004-12-21 11:26:56 AM  
I want a hot cocoa sampler.
oh and nothing in my email yet
 
2004-12-21 11:27:05 AM  
So, there I was. Just took a break to take out the trash and have a smoke, and I thought: My next post will be- Screw this, I'll put up my own goofy trivia question and buy myself and the winner one month for Christmas.
Came back in, and Wow! Thanks Burber!

So, anyway, to make good on my offer to myself, my favorite trivia question from high school:

Where did Orestes Destrade play his first season of pro ball? (city and state)

Thanks again, Burber
 
2004-12-21 11:27:06 AM  
DGAR,

You, a TFer, didn't know to be more specific around other Farkers? Especially around Farkliters desperate for a neat icon next to their name?

You have tainted the glory that is TF. Your TF status will be revoked momentarily.

Have a nice day. :)
 
2004-12-21 11:27:40 AM  
laworderstuff:

Oooo!
TotalFark!
Ooooooooooooo!
Thanks!

In the spirit of reciprocity, I've got two Gmails left to whomever would like them. Addy in profile.

Thanks again, beneficent sponsorer!



Im just happy when someone shows theyve read something for fun.

Ive got one more, ill give it, to the first person to post the answer to this:
What is the Last Line of the volume The Collected Stories of Arthur C. Clarke?
 
2004-12-21 11:28:23 AM  
I just keep looking for a liter who has ANYTHING about themselves in their profile.
 
2004-12-21 11:29:07 AM  
Bonkthat_Again:

I just keep looking for a liter who has ANYTHING about themselves in their profile.

Agree. Update that profile!
 
2004-12-21 11:29:11 AM  
refarkedbeans:
In the light of morrisonsl's post, I must say that he deserves TF more than most other farkers I've seen. Seems like a smart fella and knows his cliches, and actually reads threads...

Thanks, but basically I just have a lot of free time and an interest in Farkistani anthropology. ;)
 
2004-12-21 11:29:16 AM  
I just keep looking for a liter who has ANYTHING about themselves in their profile.

Me too, Bonk. Where's the creative flair?
 
2004-12-21 11:29:19 AM  
/is a news junkie.....

Please let me be a recipient...I have nothing to offer...I am a poor girl, too...Pa rum pa pum pum...
 
2004-12-21 11:29:21 AM  
Bonkhat: I know! I don't know any of these people at all, because I'm never in greenlit threads. I don't know their personalities. Doh!
 
2004-12-21 11:29:26 AM  
ElectroSnizzle

You win a month! Because that picture IS the funny.
 
2004-12-21 11:29:35 AM  
It STINKS in here. Bonk, what did I tell you about that gas?

/opens a window.
 
2004-12-21 11:29:42 AM  
Bonkthat_Again:

I just keep looking for a liter who has ANYTHING about themselves in their profile.


Yep. I was looking at a couple of people to sponsor. But no details and no email does not a TotalFarker make.
 
2004-12-21 11:29:46 AM  
Argh_Dammit: I never thought of doing it that way

Learn from my mistakes. There are some real wackos in here. It's like some of them are inside my head. GET OUT!
 
2004-12-21 11:29:55 AM  
2004-12-21 11:14:58 AM holierthanthou

I'll throw a month of TF to someone - just email me a good reason. Email is in profile.


Thanks for the emails, I am narrowing it down...feel free to send along any pics or another email. I just need a reason. Just give me a reason dammit.
 
2004-12-21 11:30:11 AM  
Post a couple of links to the last few political discussion threads you posted in. It's always a good indicator.
 
2004-12-21 11:30:22 AM  
You win...nauteeprincess....expect an invite from me
 
2004-12-21 11:30:34 AM  
Dogfather Jr What's the difference between an orange?

A bicycle, because a vest has no sleeves.

What do I win if I'm already TF?

And on another note... Apparantly one of the people I sponsered the last time around, Bransbadger, doesn't even exist anymore!!!

I said it about 15 minutes ago and I'll say it again.

SKIP THE farkING STARBUCKS FOR A DAY AND THERE'S YOUR TOTALFARK.

/had to yell
 
2004-12-21 11:30:34 AM  
Anybody who wants TF, but is late to the party, is welcome to check my disturbing profile.
 
2004-12-21 11:30:39 AM  
you go to TF, you get to
1. chat with lovelies like the_pgoat
2. witness horrible clown-on-a-brown-couch porn
3. get the first crack at the latest boobies
4. experience strange rituals involving cafes and bars
5. help drew keep this crazy site alive
 
2004-12-21 11:30:53 AM  
Hey guys, what's going on in... WHOA!

OK.

I'm in the Christmas spirit and will give a month of TF to the first person to post a reply with the name of the movie this quote is from:

"When the dead walk, we must stop the killing or lose the war."

And you'd better be a contributor, too...
 
2004-12-21 11:30:55 AM  
I'll be happy to sponsor a Farker. Email me your fark screenname, and anything to get my attention. It could be a joke, cute anecdote, Christmas story or anything that would qualify as "best." The best email will get a TF sponsorship.

/email address in profile.
 
2004-12-21 11:30:57 AM  
Creative - yeah that the word, Bonkie - I am looking for creative and amusing...

/here we are out shopping for Tfers and TFettes...
 
2004-12-21 11:31:31 AM  
The diffence between an orange?

A sandwich, because a fish has no legs?
 
2004-12-21 11:31:40 AM  
You forgot #6, albo:

Paintballing hippies.

/the sport of kings
 
2004-12-21 11:31:41 AM  
albo: You smooth-talker, you. (:
 
2004-12-21 11:31:51 AM  
Sponsor me!

I usually get totally farked at Christmas but I suspect I would enjoy *this kind* of total fark.

dedi­gg­er­[nospam-﹫-backwards]oohay*com
 
2004-12-21 11:31:59 AM  
holierthanthou


I'm gonna do the same, no ones emailed me, Ill toss out some subscriptions tonight, I would like a good reason tho
 
2004-12-21 11:32:07 AM  
If anyone is looking to sponsor a great member of the Fark community, I'd like to put forth Adman12 as a candidate. He's a great contributer to Fark (68 approved links), and always has well thought-out comments to add to any discussion.
 
2004-12-21 11:32:46 AM  
ducTape - Sorry, missed it. Maybe she'll get 2 months?
 
2004-12-21 11:32:51 AM  
I've still got 6 gmail invitations (email in profile).
 
2004-12-21 11:33:13 AM  
Corpulence,

Dawn of the Dead?
 
2004-12-21 11:33:29 AM  
So far, no winners on the orange question.
 
2004-12-21 11:33:35 AM  
Please pity me, I have nothing to do at work for the next month or so... TF would be a nice way to pass the time. Oh, and 'tis the season of giving yadda yadda yadda

/me attempts to smile and look all charismatic
 
2004-12-21 11:33:37 AM  
I think someone should give me a TF account 'cause I never did get a @#$00000000^ guinness towel!! Or an ipod! Or a laptop! Or anything dammit, nothing, ever, ever, ever!!! sniff.sniff.

/and where else can I find good torrent sites anyhow?
 
2004-12-21 11:33:55 AM  
Y'know, I think I would sponsor someone who has taken a lot of time to make their Bio nice. Seriously, that shows dedication, and heck, 5 dollars ain't much, right?
 
2004-12-21 11:34:28 AM  
wyltoknow

You win. First month's free, kid.
 
2004-12-21 11:34:38 AM  
Adman12 does look like a good candidate.
 
2004-12-21 11:35:11 AM  
I'll sponser someone, but they must answer my questions 3:
1)What is the name of the greasy diner in Rome, NY on Dominick St- across from the mill? Been there since the 40's, was still open as far back as '85.
2)Who- in Rome- is the Beer King (The store with owner's name)?
3)What are the first names of the 2 brothers who owned Vinci's (closed around '84), and what deformity did one of them have- and not a bad liver?

/Obviously looking for an older Roman- like myself.
 
2004-12-21 11:35:24 AM  
I gave her 6 months and an e-mail, Bulls---Hitter. I don't know if 2 sponsorships overlap or add up.

/filter ain't gonna get me.
 
2004-12-21 11:35:54 AM  
AstrosSuperfan: Update that profile!

Done. Bring on the glass tube and Lemmiwinks!
 
2004-12-21 11:36:08 AM  
BatFang

Agreed. We all need a reason.

I'm not asking anyone to grovel in the thread, just asking them to grovel in my inbox. That's a little easier I think.

I would just like to add I haven't received any boobies pics. Or pics of farkette boobies. Which just might be the best reason of all.
 
2004-12-21 11:36:32 AM  
TomFoolery: Check out Adman12. He'd make an awesome TFer.
 
2004-12-21 11:36:35 AM  
IISJunkie

im touched by your generousity for a friend so I will be generous in return..BUT if i find out the story is not true..i will lose faith in humanity and ask that all boobie links be hidden from you! Happy holidays ^_^

/thinks those who seriously help others should be rewarded in someway
 
2004-12-21 11:36:58 AM  
2004-12-21 11:34:38 AM the_pgoat

Adman12 does look like a good candidate.

He is. If I was still in the market, I'd give him a month or two.
 
2004-12-21 11:37:03 AM  
Does Total Fark come with image hosting?
 
2004-12-21 11:37:17 AM  
Question: Is it possible to get Total Fark without Paypal? Kind of got my account suspended, (paypal doesn't like charge backs).
 
2004-12-21 11:37:23 AM  
Will trade a gmail account for a totalfark membership!

ki­n­gh­ip­po[nospam-﹫-backwards]li­amg*com

........would be a good gift for the holidays!
 
2004-12-21 11:37:37 AM  
Thanks Tomasi, I think I found who I'll sponsor. You.
 
2004-12-21 11:38:00 AM  
Me, pick me. Please, pick me!!! Me, pick me. Please, pick me!!! Me, pick me. Please, pick me!!! Me, pick me. Please, pick me!!! Me, pick me. Please, pick me!!!
 
2004-12-21 11:38:14 AM  
I wish I had already put some money in my paypal account before this thread came up. Sorry folks, I'll hook one or two of you up in a few days. I swear.
 
2004-12-21 11:38:32 AM  
ducTape is my hero!
 
2004-12-21 11:38:39 AM  
wyltoknow

Now that you have that neat thingy next to your name, it's time to update that profile. We elitists like to know who were blabbing to when we treat the unwashed masses with general disdain.
 
2004-12-21 11:38:53 AM  
Done. Bring on the glass tube and Lemmiwinks!

an icelandic TFer would be cool, especially since TF is in dutch with the EEOC. you also differently abled and pagan, cause we could fill three slots?
 
2004-12-21 11:39:02 AM  
Me, pick me. Please, pick me!!! Me, pick me. Please, pick me!!! Me, pick me. Please, pick me!!! Me, pick me. Please, pick me!!! Me, pick me. Please, pick me!!!

Put some effort into your bio! Put some effort into your bio! Put some effort into your bio! Put some effort into your bio!
 
2004-12-21 11:39:03 AM  
I don't want TotalFark. That would be crap. If someone signed me up I would hate them forever and not bare their children.

/reverse psychology

Oh yea, I also don't have any gmail invites so don't email me and not ask for them.
Okay I'm confused now.
 
2004-12-21 11:39:13 AM  
Please please PLEASE give me the gift of being able to see all those articles that you submitted last week with a better headline!
I would be very grateful. :)
 
2004-12-21 11:39:40 AM  
we need some farkettes to speak up.
 
2004-12-21 11:39:54 AM  
dolly_llama:

Remember the rules. I'll be watching ;)
 
2004-12-21 11:40:13 AM  
hate them forever and not bare their children.

If you bared children, I'd have you arrested, my friend.
 
2004-12-21 11:40:15 AM  
the_pgoat

Check your e-mail, please.
 
2004-12-21 11:40:22 AM  
dogfather_jr

After searching my mind (and Google)I came up with this:

[image from explodingdog.com too old to be available]
 
2004-12-21 11:40:23 AM  
Corpulence,

*grin* I'll have to test drive it over winter break. Thank gravy for a real place to discuss.
 
2004-12-21 11:40:33 AM  
Snowbound: cool profile. But keep your cookies. :)


Thanks. You rock. Your profile (specifically the OR pic) reminds me of Buckaroo Banzai...
 
2004-12-21 11:40:36 AM  
Hmmmm...can't decide whether to give my friend Total Fark or Nerve (NSFW)
 
2004-12-21 11:41:36 AM  
Any more Brits out there ?

Due to the exchange rate, to sponsor someone only cost me 2 pounds and 65 good British pence.

So I will sponsor one more.

Email to me works.
 
2004-12-21 11:41:49 AM  
the_pgoat: I'll hook one or two of you up in a few days. I swear.

Thats what I am doing too - reading every post - checking profiles of the ones that make me laugh/get my attention. Tomorrow nite I get the paycheck and will escalate a couple folks into nirvana-fark.
 
2004-12-21 11:43:31 AM  
Not really expecting to get sponsored, but I'm curious about something. If I sign up for TF will I be able to change my moniker to something a little more hip (signed up in haste to ask a "Deadwood" question, but alas, the "wait 24 hours" rule put me past anyone's interest. sniff)
 
2004-12-21 11:43:36 AM  
albo:
an icelandic TFer would be cool, especially since TF is in dutch with the EEOC. you also differently abled and pagan, cause we could fill three slots?

Ehm, I've got a slight neurlogical disorder and I've got an uncle named Thor. Close enough?
 
2004-12-21 11:43:47 AM  
Thank You ....Thank You ....Thank You ....Thank You ....

Thank You ....Thank You ....Thank You ....Thank You ....

Thank You ....Thank You ....Thank You ....Thank You ....

Sincerely ..... Thanks WHOEVER sponsored me, ... I've quickly scanned the forum and didn't see any acknowledgement, but meh, .. in my enthusiasm I might have missed it ...
 
2004-12-21 11:43:55 AM  
malcy how about someone that lived in the UK for 20 years? And I don't splatter my shoes when vomiting... which might make me more Irish than British.
 
2004-12-21 11:44:07 AM  
Anyone want to sponsor a St. Louis TFer in college who's about to lose his TF account?

::makes bambi eyes::
 
2004-12-21 11:44:53 AM  
 
2004-12-21 11:46:07 AM  
Check your email malcy .

i can also provide amusing jokes if you give me a moment to think of some :-)
 
2004-12-21 11:46:55 AM  
Eh, what the hell. I'm feeling generous. Say something funny and I'll think about it.
 
2004-12-21 11:47:03 AM  
OK, I'm drunk at noon on a tuesday so I'll sponsor one more for a month...

BUT. This will be a tad more difficult. I want to see if you have any Total Fark knowledge, and how much is getting out there onto the main page.... Answer these questions three:

1.) Which Total Farker posed nude wearing a clown wig and nose, inducing most, if not all, of us to vomit?

2.) What does the acronym UFIA stand for?

3.) Which Total Farker customarily will be the first allowed to demand pictures of boobies in any thread?

These answers are available without ever having had Total Fark.... good luck.
 
2004-12-21 11:47:38 AM  
morrisonsl

OK I cracked and you made me laugh. Enjoy !
 
2004-12-21 11:47:47 AM  
'Tis the season to pander and grovel.
Fa la la la la, fark fark fark fark...
 
2004-12-21 11:47:53 AM  
alberia: Scrotum.
 
2004-12-21 11:48:16 AM  
skyfire360 where are you in school?
 
2004-12-21 11:49:09 AM  
Corpulence:

1.) Which Total Farker posed nude wearing a clown wig and nose, inducing most, if not all, of us to vomit?

2.) What does the acronym UFIA stand for?

3.) Which Total Farker customarily will be the first allowed to demand pictures of boobies in any thread?



I KNOW!!! IKNOW!!!!!
 
2004-12-21 11:49:24 AM  
Welcome to totalfark everyone.
 
2004-12-21 11:49:42 AM  
DOGFATHER JR.

A horse, because a vest has no sleeves.
 
2004-12-21 11:50:15 AM  
malcy: OK I cracked and you made me laugh. Enjoy !

Allright! Your family now have the use of three generations of my family as your personal servants in return. Use them wisely :)

/starting with my kids, of course
 
2004-12-21 11:50:21 AM  
I am so late to this thread - but what are TF'ers requiring for a TF sponshorship?

/Willing to take a sponsorship off your hands...
 
2004-12-21 11:50:21 AM  
With the help of a little elf **coughthanks**, I have sponsored Adman12 for a month.

Not that he's reading this right now, but he'll be pleasantly surprised when he notices the TF next to his name!
 
2004-12-21 11:50:45 AM  
Beh. I paid for the whole year, and barely use it anymore.
 
2004-12-21 11:50:47 AM  
numbah5sistah:

Shhhhhhh! ;)
 
2004-12-21 11:50:56 AM  
Ehm, I've got a slight neurlogical disorder and I've got an uncle named Thor. Close enough?

ding ding ding. refresh, morrisonsl, you're a TFer for a month.
 
2004-12-21 11:51:09 AM  
From one duck to another, Psyduck enjoy your month.
 
2004-12-21 11:51:11 AM  
Holy Jaybus Astros

Thanks, and I'll get right on that reading assignment.
Merry X-mas to you too
 
2004-12-21 11:51:44 AM  
This is an appeal for all the starving regular Farkers who've had to put up with boobies droughts the like of which the world has never seen.

Are you a Total Farker? Are you fealing sad, lonely, and tired from all the fapping?

Well you can make a difference! Just pledge a Total Fark account to a Fark Liter today. This will go towards helping lubricant companies, who will see a huge upsurge in business and regular Farkers most affected by the droughts who are in desperately sad conditions. The head of the National Assosiation of Fappers(NAF) commented that "this is the worst we've ever seen, hell we've even had cases of Farkers fapping to their mirrors". So please, please help. You can make a difference!

Don't delay! Pledge today!

/Pleeeese won't sombody TF me. The mirror doesn't change!
//Did I say that out loud!
///doh!
 
2004-12-21 11:52:04 AM  
jat850
Thank you, I knew fat cheeseburger little helmet guy would be my savior this year.
 
2004-12-21 11:52:05 AM  
Any of the regular Farkers left? I'm beginning to think I'm the last.
 
2004-12-21 11:52:07 AM  
Now that I've got the TF badge, I'm gonna try and push my luck and ask for teh hotness that is "Ultra Fark"
 
2004-12-21 11:52:08 AM  
well, i guess morrisonsl has two free months, now. you're welcome , too
 
2004-12-21 11:52:11 AM  
RiverRat

like someone else stated, now that you've entered totalfarkdom, it's time to update the profile :)
 
2004-12-21 11:52:11 AM  
looks like I'm a little late to this party.


Why did the stripper break up with the midget?
Coz he took a big sh*t in her sock drawer.
 
2004-12-21 11:52:20 AM  
1.) Which Total Farker posed nude wearing a clown wig and nose, inducing most, if not all, of us to vomit?

2.) What does the acronym UFIA stand for?

3.) Which Total Farker customarily will be the first allowed to demand pictures of boobies in any thread?


BWAHAHAHAAHAHAA.

In other news, I might almost be willing to pay $5 for someone to see what these people do to us when they submit the same stupid crap 600 times in an hour.
 
2004-12-21 11:52:45 AM  
Welcome to TF, RolloTomasi. Your selfless plugging of Adman12 made me think you'd be a good addition. Merry whatever to you!
 
2004-12-21 11:52:48 AM  
I used to have totalfark. Now I don't. I have to save money because I'm getting married in July. Have mercy on me. Give the gift that keeps giving.

svtcobra32v at yahoo.com
 
2004-12-21 11:52:59 AM  
Justjake, no. There are a scant few left. It's like Dawn of the Dead with better acting.
 
2004-12-21 11:52:59 AM  
alberia:

Something funny.
 
2004-12-21 11:53:34 AM  
Merry Christmas StrikitRich!

Welcome to the in-crowd.
/has 94 submitted links approved!
 
2004-12-21 11:54:12 AM  
With the help of a little elf **coughthanks**, I have sponsored Adman12 for a month.

That is so seriously cool. I want to e-mail him and let him know but I 1) it's you thunder, not mine, and 2) it will be cool when hes confused by his new TF-status.
 
ECS
2004-12-21 11:54:13 AM  
I would love to try Totalfark. I have 4 gmail invites for a sponsor...
 
2004-12-21 11:54:14 AM  
Pick me! Pick me! I'm dressed like a turnip!
 
2004-12-21 11:54:36 AM  
Corpulence:

3.) Which Total Farker customarily will be the first allowed to demand pictures of boobies in any thread?

I'm personally waiting for the answer to this one! There are a couple repeat offenders... :)
 
2004-12-21 11:54:39 AM  
ElectroSnizzle:

Thank you, I knew fat cheeseburger little helmet guy would be my savior this year.

Not only did fat cheeseburger little helmet guy make me laugh, he made 3 of my friends laugh too. That alone did it.

Now be a good TFer and update your profile!
 
2004-12-21 11:55:07 AM  
Dawn of the Dead... I don't want my brain sucked through my nose ! Anyone with a TF DoD shield we can use?
 
2004-12-21 11:56:11 AM  
Okay, I've given out one six month sponsorship, got one left but the person must answer these questions:

1. Who is the most powerful sith Lord ever?
2. Who killed said Sith Lord, thus making him the most powerful Jedi Master ever?
3. Who's the blue guy?
4. In WoW three races can be a Shaman, which races?
5. What comic company is suing the makers and marketers of City of Heroes?
6. The name of the first Jedi in SWG, and the sex of said character.
7. Kobe or Shaq?
8. Bush or Kerry?
9. Ron Artest deserved a liftime ban from the NBA. True/False.
10. The name of the strong bad email where Strong Sad slaps the crap out of Coach Z.

First person to answer all of these correctly wins! Or maybe just the first person to answer all of them? I dunno, I'm feeling nice today.
 
2004-12-21 11:56:20 AM  
ECS

I would love to try Totalfark. I have 4 gmail invites for a sponsor...


Obviously you haven't read nearly enough of this thread.

The gmail invites, they do nothing.
 
2004-12-21 11:56:52 AM  
Half expecting to hear the TF'ers break into "Consider Yourself One of the Family" from Oliver

/Please Sir, can I have some more
//still a lowly liter
 
2004-12-21 11:56:58 AM  
SVTCobra: Give the gift that keeps giving.

I think I got that on a 96 hour pass in Thailand.
 
2004-12-21 11:57:02 AM  
Welcome to TF, RolloTomasi. Your selfless plugging of Adman12 made me think you'd be a good addition. Merry whatever to you!

Holy crap! Thanks so much!

I am now you're new best friend (although I think you mayhave just become my boss's arch-nemesis).

Thanks again! This is too cool.
 
2004-12-21 11:57:04 AM  
Gal dangit! People are talking about zombies and I missed it! I'll go toe-to-toe with anyone on zombie trivia, if that'll impress anyone...
 
2004-12-21 11:57:06 AM  
RolloTomasi: Well, if you see him in a thread before I do, make sure he has noticed he's got TF now, lest he spends part of the month unaware. (:
 
2004-12-21 11:57:21 AM  
if anyone is in the holiday spirit i would gladly accept a sponsorship(dry­pht­00[nospam-﹫-backwards]li­a­m­t­oh*com)
 
2004-12-21 11:57:44 AM  
1.) Which Total Farker posed nude wearing a clown wig and nose, inducing most, if not all, of us to vomit?

There was no vomiting, mister. There was hawtness and glorious joyful happiness and bliss.

/that was hint, you people.
 
2004-12-21 11:57:49 AM  
Did I just see someone post gmail invites? That makes me giggle.

(Would post a picture of me smirking but alas, I lack the goodness of teh html.)
 
2004-12-21 11:57:52 AM  
I am a non-TF'er myself, but being in the Christmas spirit as I am, I am willing to sponsor a soldier currently serving in Iraq or Afghanistan and would encourage others to do the same........email in profile.
 
2004-12-21 11:59:27 AM  
Come on, doesn't anyone know the answers to the Corpulence Quiz??
 
2004-12-21 11:59:27 AM  
Are there any Seattle people in da house?
 
2004-12-21 11:59:51 AM  
Now, to all of you. Update yer damn profiles.
 
2004-12-21 12:00:09 PM  
tdpman

Ditto that.....email in profile.
 
2004-12-21 12:00:16 PM  
refarkedbeans: Would post a picture of me smirking but alas, I lack the goodness of teh html

there is a guide in my profile that can help you with your html skills. It says its for TFers, but its good information for anybody really.
 
2004-12-21 12:01:05 PM  
NICU8697 is a super duper total farker! Thanks!!!

I owe you PS2 tips and some homemade bread! You rock!
 
2004-12-21 12:01:06 PM  
Argh_Dammit

There was no vomiting, mister. There was hawtness and glorious joyful happiness and bliss.


Mostly, I remember lots of vomit. And drinks coming through the nose.

In the off chance that there's a tie, I say we make this the tie-breaker.

The clown chose this particular pose because of one person's picture. Name the person (or acronym *hint*).
 
2004-12-21 12:01:12 PM  
Someone already got Big Eyed Ziggy I see... I was gonna get her because any person that is chill with zombies is chill with me.

/still waiting on his answers...
 
2004-12-21 12:01:14 PM  
I'l sponsor someone for a month, if they have a good reason. E-mail in profile.
 
2004-12-21 12:01:25 PM  
Argh_Dammit:

There was no vomiting, mister. There was hawtness and glorious joyful happiness and bliss.


I threw up in my mouth a little bit when I saw those pics.

/just sayin'
 
2004-12-21 12:01:31 PM  
Snowbound: Come on, doesn't anyone know the answers to the Corpulence Quiz??

yes'm - snowbound got mekkid and put on a clown wig and uh...


/i lost my train of thought
 
2004-12-21 12:01:42 PM  
Argh_Dammit either has a fetish for clowns or something else, so I'll put him as the answer to number 1.

I'll take a look at your guide to HTML picture posting.
 
2004-12-21 12:02:11 PM  
Dude O Matic 5000...

Bush or Kerry? Doesn't matter. The government won.
 
2004-12-21 12:02:16 PM  
Oh, I'd also sponsor a TFer/ette who lives in either Utah that didn't vote for Bush.
 
2004-12-21 12:02:43 PM  
I am a very sick little boy. My mother is typing this for me, because I can't. She is crying. Don't cry, Mommy! Mommy is always sad, but she says it's not my fault. I asked her if it was God's fault, but she didn't answer, and only started crying harder, so I don't ask her that anymore. The reason she is so sad is that I'm so sick. I was born without a body. It doesn't hurt, except when I go to sleep.
The doctors gave me an artificial body. My body is a burlap bag filled with leaves. The doctors said that was the best they could do on account of us havin' no money or insurance. I would like to have a body transplant, but we need more money. Mommy doesn't work because she said employers don't hire crying people. I said, "Don't cry, Mommy," and she hugged my burlap body. Mommy always gives me hugs, even though she's allergic to burlap, and it chafes her real bad.

I hope you will help me. You can help me if you forward this e-mail. Dr. Johansen said if you foward this e-mail then Bill Gates will team up with AOL and do a survey with NASA. Then the astronauts will collect prayers from school children all over America and take them up to space so that the angels can hear them better. Then they will go to the Pope, and he will take up a collection in church and send the money to the doctors. The doctors could help me better then.

Maybe one day I will be able to play baseball. Or maybe just use my lungs and heart, when the doctors make them. The doctors said that every time you foward this letter, the astronauts can take another prayer to the angels. Please help me. Mommy is so sad, and I want a body. I don't want my leaves to rot before I turn 10.

If you don't sponsor me for TF, that's OK. Mommy says you're a mean heartless person who doesn't care about a poor little boy with only a head. She says that she hopes that you stew in the raw pit of your own guilt-ridden stomach. What kind of wretched person are you that you can't take five lousy minutes to forward this to all your friends so that they can feel guilt and shame for the rest of their day, and then maybe help a poor, bodiless nine-year-old boy?

Please help me. This really sucks. I try to be happy but it's hard. I wish

I had a puppy. I wish I could hold a puppy.

Thank You.
RabidDog,
The boy with just a head.
And a burlap sack for a body.
 
2004-12-21 12:02:50 PM  
Big Eyed Ziggy was on list as well - good call whoever sponsored her!
 
2004-12-21 12:02:51 PM  
Snowbound

Come on, doesn't anyone know the answers to the Corpulence Quiz??

I DO!!! I DO!!! *jumps up and down, furiously waving her hand*
 
2004-12-21 12:03:08 PM  
Corpulence:

1. Argh_Dammit

2. Unsolicited Finger in the Anus

3. Smookyfufu, of course.

/I can't resist quizzes
//The first answer was an educate guess: thanks for the hint.
 
2004-12-21 12:03:09 PM  
Argh_Dammit: snowbound got mekkid and put on a clown wig and uh...

Oh don't you try and pawn that stunt off on me, mister!
hehe
 
2004-12-21 12:03:09 PM  
OK thanks everyone who emailed. Someone represented with a reason.

Peace out-
 
2004-12-21 12:03:20 PM  
2004-12-21 11:22:30 AM QueenBee [TotalFark]


since i was nicely sponsered last time. I picked someone who asked politely and sponsered them too. Behave and join in the conversations. that's half the fun :)

enjoy and happy holidays!


2004-12-21 11:52:11 AM QueenBee [Total Fark]

like someone else stated, now that you've entered totalfarkdom, it's time to update the profile :)


Thank You QueenBee

Alas, I'm at work, and have been lax in my FARK duties ... I'll correct that quickly

Merry Christmas QueenBee [TotalFark]

/feels special now ... (y'all STFU ..I'm KNOW I'm not special :P )
 
2004-12-21 12:03:29 PM  
RabidDog: that is too much to read. :P
 
2004-12-21 12:03:29 PM  
I'll sponsor a good Albertan with a decent bio page.
 
2004-12-21 12:04:12 PM  
RabidDog: I wish I could hold a puppy.

hahaha -

*golf clap

if someone doesn't pick you up for that, I sure will on payday!
 
2004-12-21 12:04:13 PM  
Answer to number 2: Unsolicited Finger in Anus.
 
2004-12-21 12:04:31 PM  
A totalfark account for me, is a vote against the government. I.E. The more links I have to visit, the less work I do.
 
2004-12-21 12:04:57 PM  
Aside from my comments below, if sponsored I'll continue my Total Farkness for a period of at least 1 year.

I will also vow to NEVER use IE. while viewing Total Fark!
 
2004-12-21 12:05:06 PM  
twoody

in either Utah? I didn't know there was more than one.

/just realized I'm doing myself no favors with twoody
//D'OH!
 
2004-12-21 12:05:08 PM  
Amazing how many people will pay to do more of nothing.
 
2004-12-21 12:05:17 PM  
And the answer to number 3 WILL come forth, I swear...
 
2004-12-21 12:05:25 PM  
DanB is teh winnar!!11one
 
2004-12-21 12:05:58 PM  
Nichole:
KING COUNTY REPRESENT!
 
2004-12-21 12:06:00 PM  
Dance you monkeys! DANCE!!
 
2004-12-21 12:06:00 PM  
1. Who is the most powerful sith Lord ever? *NERD*
2. Who killed said Sith Lord, thus making him the most powerful Jedi Master ever? *NERD*
3. Who's the blue guy? Papa Smurf
4. In WoW three races can be a Shaman, which races? *NERD*
5. What comic company is suing the makers and marketers of City of Heroes? *NERD*
6. The name of the first Jedi in SWG, and the sex of said character. *NERD*
7. Kobe or Shaq? Kobe would
8. Bush or Kerry? rape Bush
9. Ron Artest deserved a liftime ban from the NBA. True/False. False, the NBA should be banned
10. The name of the strong bad email where Strong Sad slaps the crap out of Coach Z. Musta missed that one.

/jk
 
2004-12-21 12:06:10 PM  
I have Gmail invites to trade,

Like there's anyone out there who doesn't have gmail yet...
 
2004-12-21 12:07:17 PM  
Ah, I feel bad--I missed that someone answered all three.
 
2004-12-21 12:07:33 PM  
Just want to say thank you, to the kind TF'er who will sponsor me for a month! When I get to Vegas on Friday, I'll throw a nickle in a slot machine and praise your name aloud!
 
2004-12-21 12:07:35 PM  
I'll swap a gmail. I voted for Kerry, though.
 
2004-12-21 12:07:48 PM  
Corpulen