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(Wired)   Turning cell phones into sex toys was "a natural progression," says editor with humming pants   ( divider line
    More: Amusing  
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20664 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Dec 2004 at 10:28 AM (12 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

53 Comments     (+0 »)

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2004-12-21 10:12:59 AM  
That sound you hear is hundreds of farkettes thinking about all of the new possibilities...
2004-12-21 10:14:38 AM  
They're going to have to do better than that in this day and age. I've seen much more interesting things used as sex toys.
2004-12-21 10:23:47 AM  
[image from too old to be available]

"Can you fark me now?"
2004-12-21 10:33:29 AM  
Kyocera's new Vibraphone settings: gentle--->medium--->heavy--->Rosie O'Donnell
2004-12-21 10:33:55 AM  
Well, one of my g/f back in '97 liked for me to put a beeper in her "flower." Needless to say, she like the vibrations. Chicks dig "Good Vibrations."
2004-12-21 10:35:47 AM  
Ha! Good headline.
2004-12-21 10:35:49 AM  
I thought moisture was the only natural enemy of the mobile phone. I'm all for perverted sex play, but we don't need any electrocutions.
2004-12-21 10:38:02 AM  
I feel dirty after reading that article.....

/ and yet strangely aroused....
2004-12-21 10:38:22 AM  
wpmulligan... Well said...

That's what I was thinking. Plus, if the Bush Administration gets wind of this, the FCC will be cracking down on cell phone users who are using the devices for nefarious purposes.
2004-12-21 10:38:42 AM  
"honey, why does your cell phone smell like...?"
2004-12-21 10:39:19 AM  
I thought moisture was the only natural enemy of the mobile phone. I'm all for perverted sex play, but we don't need any electrocutions.

One COULD put it inside a condom.

/just sayin'
2004-12-21 10:39:41 AM  
I need a phone/holder that's shaped like a tube so I can attach it to my man parts.
2004-12-21 10:39:52 AM  
Can't wait to call up someone so that they can hear my "O" face ...
[image from too old to be available]
2004-12-21 10:40:27 AM  
Great. Just farking great. And you thought your girlfriend was on the phone a lot before...
2004-12-21 10:42:18 AM  
"Where have you been? I've been calling you all day!"

(breathlessly) "I know!!!"
2004-12-21 10:43:16 AM  
Isn't there also a story about cellphone radition damaging DNA in the news today?

/gave up carrying cellphone on belt 3 years ago.
2004-12-21 10:43:39 AM  

One COULD put it inside a condom.

True, but for my phone I'd need a condom that is four inches long, two inches wide, and one inch thick. I don't think my ego could take that kind of damage.
2004-12-21 10:44:31 AM  
The Nextel Bone Phone, just in time for Xmas.
2004-12-21 10:44:39 AM  
Appropriate that the author's name rhymes with a part of the female anatomy.

2004-12-21 10:45:59 AM  
Glad i read that article... now if i am ever gripped with the inexplicable urge to insert a cellphone into my vagina, i will remember to use a condom first. Thanks Wired!

So now when i worry my cellphone will give me brain tumors... oh man... nevermind.
2004-12-21 10:50:09 AM  
I've been using my pager in vibrate mode as a sex toy since the early 90's.

/so ahead of the curve it's ridicolus.
2004-12-21 10:53:55 AM  
This is the same columnist that always writes about tech-perv stuff. I swear to God, this is just a way for Wired to put stroke material into their magazine to boost sales. I'm certainly the last one to condem perv stuff on the internet but this just strikes me as cheap.

It's a text version of a page 3 girl.
2004-12-21 10:57:54 AM  
the first mechanical stimulators came out in the late 1800s, invented to make doctors' lives easier by automating hysteria-curing clitoral manipulation. (Before the devices, doctors had to massage women's genitals by hand.)

What a difficult life for doctors back then.. :>
2004-12-21 11:02:23 AM  
I'd rather use sex toys over the internet.

/Don't laugh. I'll have my cyber-posse come deal you death at your door.
2004-12-21 11:04:08 AM  
Is it Bluetooth enabled? Gotta wait for the Bluetooth.
2004-12-21 11:09:07 AM  
what's that? I can't hear you! Speak up! why does it sound muffled?
2004-12-21 11:11:29 AM  
The Samsung Ben-Waa VI660, new for '05 with mucuous resistant finish.
2004-12-21 11:13:47 AM  
Speak up! why does it sound muffled?

ha huh you said "muff"
2004-12-21 11:18:19 AM  
See also:

2004-12-21 11:20:09 AM  
just think of all the "wrong number" references possible...

check this scenario:
---phone rings---
---phone rings again---
---phone rings again---
---phone rings again---
---phone rings again 80th time---
"this is a this Mrs. Smith?"
"no, this is her..."

time to get the answering machine fixed.

what about touch tone phones?

"oooh, you have a sexy dial tone"
2004-12-21 11:20:57 AM  
New meaning for phone sex.
2004-12-21 11:26:16 AM  

Duct tape works fine as long as you don't plan on removing it anytime soon.
2004-12-21 11:33:13 AM  
What about the guys?
You know, who hasn't clipped a flip phone to their loveroot and called themselves out of boredom and curiosity?
Or a playstation controller... you know, find a good game with lots of action. Like driving your car into the guardrail repeatedly in Gran Tourismo.

Boy did I lose that race...
...or did I?
2004-12-21 11:44:11 AM  
I just hope it comes with a little brush to clean out the buttons
2004-12-21 11:45:20 AM  
"Wanna borrow my cell phone?"

"Er, thanks. I think there is a pay 'phone over there."

/Always carry a coupla Clorox wipes in a baggie - H. Hughes.
2004-12-21 11:51:01 AM  
Hey Mill....

i was going to try that with a cell before but i couldnt afford the long distance charges
2004-12-21 11:56:22 AM  
call me on my cell, and tell me you love me
2004-12-21 12:01:14 PM  
No more borrowing the phone from people anymore. Especially from rotund chicks.
2004-12-21 12:05:51 PM  
Remember.. A cellphone is just a fish that smells like a finger..

/ What da hell did I just say ??
2004-12-21 12:32:17 PM  
Article says:
Many of these devices were available in the United Kingdom long before they came to the United States, leading me to wonder just what, exactly, Americans are so afraid of.

I think us Americans have enough perversions thank you. I'll just stick to a good old fashioned latex vibrator. (Where is that thing...?)
2004-12-21 12:33:07 PM  
Also stay away from that "Friends & Family" promo.

2004-12-21 12:38:10 PM  
And I thought it was embarrassing accidentally dialing someone when the phone was in my pocket...
2004-12-21 12:40:48 PM  
What a coincidence.

NSFW​page=1&f av=0
2004-12-21 01:12:08 PM  


/almost got a boner at work.. not good.
2004-12-21 01:27:58 PM  
Fun article!
2004-12-21 01:37:23 PM  
This has got to be the stupidest thing I have ever read. I thought cell phones were bad enough...then they invented camera this? Hey, I'm all for crazy sex, but come on people, we gotta use our brains sometimes...

2004-12-21 01:41:28 PM  
Now we just need somebody to take a camera-phone and shove that up thier cooter. Might make for interesting uh.. internets.
2004-12-21 01:53:55 PM  
For what this article is about, I'm suprised that I only make post 48.....
2004-12-21 04:01:56 PM  
I linked to this last week and it never got picked up....guess my headline sucked.
2004-12-21 04:27:05 PM  
Uselesse without pics...wait...cell phone camreas...hmmm

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