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(   Archway recalling cashew cookies. Extra sparkly Christmas sprinkles are actually glass shards. Yum   ( divider line
    More: Scary  
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6168 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Dec 2004 at 7:52 PM (12 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

41 Comments     (+0 »)
2004-12-20 07:11:37 PM  
Mmmmmmm... glassy!
2004-12-20 07:20:54 PM  
But I thought Big Bag-O-Glass was the perfect Christmas gift!
2004-12-20 07:26:36 PM  
Dogbert wanted for questioning
2004-12-20 07:36:41 PM  
"An F-D-A report says the same Cashew Nougat cookies were recalled in 1998 for the same reason."

They're recalling six-year-old cookies?
2004-12-20 07:54:30 PM  
Are they connected with these guys?

/I know, we've all seen it.
2004-12-20 07:57:51 PM  
The wizzum news end of day but what a picture it makes!
2004-12-20 07:59:17 PM  
Goes good with "GLASS" of Battery Acid.
2004-12-20 08:03:55 PM  
No different than your average can of tuna.

Carry on.
2004-12-20 08:04:35 PM  
irrelevent braptoids #243- 246: Four things brap recalls about being a cubscout.

243) touring the Archway cookie factory.
244) touring the Nerf football factory.
245) learning "Light My Fire" on the church organ where we held our meetings.
246) realizing that the cultish nationalistic undertones of boy scouts freaked me out and quitting after three weeks.
2004-12-20 08:05:25 PM  
How the hell do cookies contain glass? Dod someone break his glass bong over the conveyer belt or something?
2004-12-20 08:06:11 PM  
Imagine if everyone wrote out numbers like that: Tommy TuTone sings Eight-Six-Seven Five-Three-Oh-Nigh-E-Ine...
2004-12-20 08:06:24 PM  

[image from too old to be available]

2004-12-20 08:07:02 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

Consumer Reporter: Alright. Fine. Fine. Well, we'd like to show you another one of Mr. Mainway's products. It retails for $1.98, and it's called Bag O' Glass. [ holds up bag of glass ] Mr. Mainway, this is simply a bag of jagged, dangerous, glass bits.

Irwin Mainway: Yeah, right, it's you know, it's glass, it's broken glass, you know? It sells very well, as a matter of fact, you know? It's just broken glass, you know?

Consumer Reporter: [ laughs ] I don't understand. I mean, children could seriously cut themselves on any one of these pieces!

Irwin Mainway: Yeah, well, look - you know, the average kid, he picks up, you know, broken glass anywhere, you know? The beach, the street, garbage cans, parking lots, all over the place in any big city. We're just packaging what the kids want! I mean, it's a creative toy, you know? If you hold this up, you know, you see colors, every color of the rainbow! I mean, it teaches him about light refraction, you know? Prisms, and that stuff! You know what I mean?

Consumer Reporter: So, you don't feel that this product is dangerous?

Irwin Mainway: No! Look, we put a label on every bag that says, "Kid! Be careful - broken glass!" I mean, we sell a lot of products in the "Bag O'" line.. like Bag O' Glass, Bag O' Nails, Bag O' Bugs, Bag O' Vipers, Bag O' Sulfuric Acid. They're decent toys, you know what I mean?
2004-12-20 08:08:25 PM  
Archway says the glass could cause injury if ingested.

No shiat?!
2004-12-20 08:08:43 PM  
Hooray! brap is back!

brap's one of my favorite posters, cause he's funny!

/where's my medicine?
2004-12-20 08:09:02 PM  
See, thats why you should never put a glass recycling plant on the floor above a cookie plant.

"Archway says the glass could cause injury if ingested." hmmmmmm, glass causes injuries when digested?
2004-12-20 08:09:26 PM  
Did someone spill their "bag o' glass"
2004-12-20 08:12:18 PM  
Apparently Archway is getting their nuts from a shady syndicate: the Cincinnati Zoo Squirrel Nut Collective.
2004-12-20 08:14:29 PM  
I see my plot to kill off all Michigan residents in order to allow Canada to annex the state...has been exposed. Oh, well... they'll never discover plan B in time!
2004-12-20 08:21:49 PM  
Oh how I miss my Archway Cookies; can't find them in NYC anymore. No Molasses or Fruit Bar or Iced Spice.

Better than s3x!(Well pre-puberty any way)
2004-12-20 08:24:28 PM  
How does broken glass get into cookies anyway? Is there a window factory next door or is it a really windy area or what? I never understood how glass shards get into food.

2004-12-20 08:35:24 PM  
2004-12-20 08:41:18 PM  
but glass is low-carb!
2004-12-20 08:42:35 PM  
Disgruntal employee; contaminated supplies (i.e. sugar, salt).

Have a cousin how work for major cookie manufacturer in 60's; can't look a box of the product she worked on without getting nauseaous; piss in the batter; lost finger never found; lost lunch never found.

FDA allows stuff in our food we would never but remember distasteful does not equal unhealthy.
2004-12-20 08:46:36 PM  
Good thing i saw the article and go to this page, just dug the wrapper to a package my mom put in the garbage, cause we put chips and cookies or whatever in ziploc bags to keep em fresh etc. and so we won't be eating these,but she ate a whole package already,hope nothing bad happens dammit!!! So the second package will be going back or be thrown away if we don't have the receipt. Also kept for evidence incase of some serious ailment. Thank you very much Fark. ():o) Love this news place. keep up the good work and Happy Holidays.

2004-12-20 08:51:30 PM  
My first thought on seeing this was:

I'd rather spend eternity eating shards of broken glass, than spend one more minute with you.

/Weird Al geek
2004-12-20 09:06:29 PM  
Kids, we need to talk for a moment about Krusty Brand Chew Goo Gum Like Substance. We all knew it contained spider eggs, but the hanta virus? That came out of left field. So if you're experiencing numbness and/or comas, send five dollars to antidote, PO box...

But seriously, how the hell does glass get into cookies?
2004-12-20 09:22:11 PM  
Beer bottle falls into cookie mixer?

One of my favorite Simpsons quotes.
2004-12-20 09:36:33 PM  
2004-12-20 09:39:09 PM  
This can happen when the tanker trucks that haul the flour, sugar, toppings are not washed out, before hauling the product to the cookie factory. The "Air Cans", often haul other products that are not edible.

Don't ask me how I know this.
2004-12-20 09:50:34 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

GIS for "Glass Cookie"

2004-12-20 10:12:03 PM  
Just justified spending all my time reading Fark. Going to the store to return those glass cookies.

Thanks Drew.
2004-12-20 11:05:32 PM  
Shards of glass - definetly all the roughage you will need for the day
2004-12-20 11:40:09 PM  
I bought some of these, decided they sucked and took them to a work party. My boss asked if he could have the leftovers and I said take them! oops!
2004-12-21 01:00:25 AM  
I recall cashew cookies...i used to eat them by the boxful before i got diabetes
2004-12-21 01:52:08 AM  
Hmmm a marketing opportunity for Archway.

Delicious Glasschew Cookies.

Silicon Chips Ahoy.
2004-12-21 02:05:54 AM  
hmmm. and the guv is stepping on family farms harder and harder everyday. At least Grandma's cookies, jellies and fried taters never contained farkING GLASS SHARDS.

/plant'n corn an' sweet taters
2004-12-21 04:36:34 AM  
Wasn't this a Dilbert thread recently? OK so they where doughnuts not cookies, but close enough.
2004-12-21 07:45:10 AM  
"Crafty Mexicans and their glass candy"

2004-12-21 08:23:52 AM  
"An F-D-A report says the same Cashew Nougat cookies were recalled in 1998 for the same reason."

They're recalling six-year-old cookies?

All Archway cookies are six years old, even before they get packaged.

/Fark Kent: Silicon Chips Ahoy LMAO!
2004-12-21 03:08:58 PM  
BAD COOKIE NO...uhhhh cookie?
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