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(ChannelCincinnati)   Squirrels of the regular-size nutsack variety are stealing the Christmas lights from the Cincinnati Zoo's Festival of Lights   (channelcincinnati.com) divider line 36
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4761 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Dec 2004 at 6:51 PM (9 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



36 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread
 
2004-12-20 01:44:53 PM  
Nests need a little sprucing up, do they?
 
2004-12-20 01:50:29 PM  
They are remorseful and want to make-up with this peace offering:
 
2004-12-20 01:55:16 PM  
Jesus, where's Eddie? He eats these things for Christ's sake.
 
2004-12-20 01:56:25 PM  
Maybe they're festive squirrels?
 
2004-12-20 01:58:18 PM  
They're probably sick of those farkin' Chipmunks getting all the press...
 
2004-12-20 03:00:12 PM  
Hehe, all I can think of is chasing our squirrels on campus. Some of them are so well fed, especially in early winter, that they cant even run properly. I think any christmas lights at EMU are safe for now.
 
2004-12-20 06:55:40 PM  
Squirrels are awesome. There was a whole lot of them that lived alone on the discarded pizza crusts outside my dorm freshman year. Not only were they fat, they were fearless. One almost followed me inside once.
 
2004-12-20 06:56:13 PM  
haha myownepitaph... at my school it's the same way. the farkers can barely climb trees. i constantly see them following people for food. i guess its like that at every college.
 
2004-12-20 06:57:25 PM  
Myownepitaph, posted before I saw your entry... I gathered this wasn't an isolated event.
 
2004-12-20 06:59:42 PM  
I love that headline.
 
2004-12-20 07:03:38 PM  
try squirrel fishing...i did it in college...happy times
 
2004-12-20 07:05:22 PM  
Regular nutsacks, maybe, but those squirrels still have some balls...
 
2004-12-20 07:07:57 PM  

Two words...

Pellet Gun

 
2004-12-20 07:07:59 PM  
we have giant grey squirrels that live somewhere near our garbage can. Oh, btw, didn't RTFA at all, just figured I'd talk about my squirrels. Anyway, giant greys that live in our yard and feast in our garbage. Oh, background, I live in Arlington, VA. Neighborhood on the side of a city. Anyway, giant grays, prolly 50 of 'em in our neighborhood. We also have black squirrels. The two groups of squirrels are staging racial war, by the way. All the squirrels are in it for themselves, as far as I can tell. They might have famblys to provide, but whenever I see 'em, they're eatin' what they've found. It's not just my garbage, either. It's everybody in the neighborhood. The squirrels are eco-friendly, though. They don't take our garbage and spread it everywhere. They eat what they take, but you better make sure you get everything into the garbage can. They've chewed a hole in the garbage cans where the lid meets the box. Every one of them in the same place. The black ones are apparently an oddity. I'd never seen them before, and most people who see them say the same. Frank wants to kill one and have it mounted. City limits, though, so he's gonna either have to catch it by hand or get it with a trap. That shouldn't be hard... just put garbage as bait. Unless he catches the giant racoon. And, this pig is giant. I saw him staring into the back door either trying to figure out how to capture my wife and I or just wondering when the next batch of garbage might go out. I've seen him on the roof of the neighbor's place. The wildlife seems to have lost its fear of people, and that's a bad thing, because I still have a healthy dose of fear of rodents, especially giant ones.

Anyway, looked like a slow thread, so there ya go.

/next time, I'll leave out punctuation as well as paragraphs
 
2004-12-20 07:19:09 PM  
Maybe they just like the warmth. That's why they keep stealing more -- they can't figure out why the nice glowing warm things turn all dark and cold by the time they're back in the nest.

/awaits savage attack by insulted squirrels
 
2004-12-20 07:24:44 PM  
There's got to be a huge pile of discarded lights somewhere.
 
2004-12-20 07:32:24 PM  

These kinda squirels?
 
2004-12-20 07:35:30 PM  
quick!! someone post the fark squirrel and replace his nuts with Xmas lights!!!!1111!!one!!
 
2004-12-20 07:37:56 PM  
Drat...I was too slow to submit.

Headline my hubby thought of : Squirrels say "Check out deez nutz"
 
2004-12-20 07:40:17 PM  
badassredskin
I don't even want to know WTF's going on there.
 
2004-12-20 07:44:56 PM  
I had a 'pet' squirrel once.

It started by me throwing some ice cubes to chase him away from the bird feeder but instead of running away he chased after the ice. A few days later, I was sitting on the porch and he ran up to the porch, looked at me then darted off. Didn't seem to be afraid of humans at all.

Eventually he would sit on my knee while I fed him roasted peanuts. I learned that if you gave him a peanut not completely shelled, he'd try to bury it (which generally meant he'd either try to cover it with some leaves or stick it in a nearby flower pot). If you extracted the peanut from the shell and broke it into pieces, he'd eat it right there.
 
2004-12-20 07:53:46 PM  
There's an albino squirrel at the Columbus campus of Ohio State University.

Whenever I see lil' Whitey, I wonder at the fact that he hasn't been eaten by a hawk or an owl yet.
 
2004-12-20 07:54:03 PM  
Ahhh.... the solution to Article 1271121

Go my Furry Minions.... I'll pay you the weight of every plastic Jeebus you pilfer in cashews.
 
2004-12-20 07:54:54 PM  
Darn. It tossed my link:

"Local church practices guerrilla Nativity tactics"
 
2004-12-20 08:13:02 PM  
Squirrel who played with lights:

(more, larger pictures)
 
2004-12-20 08:13:41 PM  
 
2004-12-20 08:15:33 PM  
at the college here a bunch of students got together and shaved the squirrels. they were freaky lil farkers...the squirrels were odd too


/lame
 
2004-12-20 08:17:35 PM  
To be fair, I was already working on that before Ackbar asked someone to make it. :-)
 
2004-12-20 08:42:27 PM  
And here I am thinking the squirrels get them home, DO manage to crunch into them, and die horribly of glass shard ingestion.
 
2004-12-20 08:49:53 PM  
Only on Fark would one have to distinguish between regular and large nutsack squirrels.
 
2004-12-20 09:06:08 PM  
Chibisuke wins teh thread

the santa hat is a nice touch.
 
2004-12-20 09:48:40 PM  
This brings back the memory of the time we were teenagers and went camping with our girl friends for the first time.

It was a night when we were eating our supper around the big bond fire and a squirrel came up to my buddy Tyler for some freebies.

Tyler feed it some bread and it just started hanging out like one of the buds. Later after Tyler had a few to many beers, took one of the empties and smacked on the squireel on the head. This in turn injured the squirrel causing it to go into convulsions. Tyler took another smack at it and killed it. Girls were freaking out, things were out of control. Just then when you thought things couldn't get worst Tyler decided to pick the dead squirrel up and toss it on the the grill!

I will say one thing, "DAMN!". When that squirrel hit that grill and started to inflat like a Smokie on a BBQ ready to burst / split, I ran for cover. That thing must have grown 4 X the size in 30 seconds. It didn't explode but the smell of burnt hair and Squirrel carcus wasn't to plesent.

Needless to say Tyler's girl friend dump him and made him sleep outside the tent on the bench.

And I, laughed happily ever after!

The End

Send replies / comments to : k­ic­k­edmyd­og­[nospam-﹫-backwards]li­a­m­g­*c­om
 
2004-12-21 12:25:41 AM  
biggerbastard: tyler is an ass.
 
2004-12-21 02:50:39 AM  
I agree that night he was. But any other night he was the Oz man cometh. ;)
 
2004-12-21 08:37:01 AM  
jvoight
Not sure how the black squirrels got all the way to VA but here in the Great White North black squirrels seem to be the norm. We also have grey squirrels but I have yet to see a red squirrel in my area of Canada (ON & QC) although I'm told they are common down south.
 
2004-12-21 02:05:34 PM  
I once shot a squirrel in my back yard with a paintball gun. Felt bad until I saw a bright orange squirrel running around in the yard. Oh that was a good time..
 
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