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(BBC)   Excuses not to try the next time you're pulled over for speeding. Someone's already tried them and found them wanting   (news.bbc.co.uk) divider line 177
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32477 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Dec 2004 at 1:56 PM (9 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



177 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread
 
2004-12-20 12:34:27 PM
best advice i've heard directly from law enforcement is to either make it so bizarre it's worth a good laugh to them so they can share it with other cops, or just come flat out and admit to speeding and apologize and tell them why and beg for mercy.
do all your begging and give all excuses right when they come up to your car.
if you give them your license and they go back to their car before you unload your excuses, it's too late. once they start writing a ticket, they have to give it to you.
if you unload your excuses or simply fess up and beg for mercy when they first come up, they are more likely to let you off with a warning.

/other thing that works for me is to never give them your insurance info. tell them you can't find it. that way, if they are feeling generous, they will simply give you a ticket for not having insurance, (which is dropped when you go to the courthouse with proof of insurance) instead of giving you the ticket they stopped you for

/just sayin'
 
2004-12-20 01:56:09 PM
Caught speeding by cameras? That's just farked up.
 
2004-12-20 01:59:11 PM
Budgie?
 
2004-12-20 02:00:53 PM
My you have a large *add just about anything here*
 
2004-12-20 02:01:02 PM
"You'll never get me in court, I'll say I'm insane and pretend to be a helicopter."
 
2004-12-20 02:01:11 PM
"Sorry, I was too hopped up on all the glue I was sniffing to concern myself with suck silly things as speed limits."
 
2004-12-20 02:01:31 PM
don't tell him you were trying to get home quickly because you felt like you were going to barf.
 
2004-12-20 02:02:41 PM
I'm in a big hurry officer, this hooker is charging by the hour!
 
2004-12-20 02:02:47 PM
I like to fart while they're walking up to the car, then roll down my window and waft it in their face.
 
2004-12-20 02:03:00 PM
Yeah, seriously...what the hell is a budgie?
 
2004-12-20 02:03:38 PM
Can a cop pull you over and ticket you for speeding if they pace you?

like you are driving behind him at 80 and he then decides to pull you over saying he was pacing you?
 
2004-12-20 02:03:45 PM
A budgie is a parakeet.
 
2004-12-20 02:04:27 PM
how would ice scrapers under the accelerator make you speed? it would keep you from pressing the pedal down.

budgies = parakeet
 
2004-12-20 02:04:41 PM
"But officer, I left the tub on and I need to get back home before it overflows."


/True story
/It worked on a Nevada highway patrollman in Lemon Vally, outside of Reno. No ticket.
 
2004-12-20 02:04:49 PM
I lacked the specific intent to be speeding, because I am drunk.
 
2004-12-20 02:05:31 PM
Advisers say motorists must become more aware of the speed they are using.

always know your dealer and never take more than you can handle.
 
2004-12-20 02:05:45 PM
speaking of parakeets, Im training mine to go in the christmas tree. They seem to like it and jump around inside, then a decoration falls and they get spooked and fly into a window
 
2004-12-20 02:05:51 PM
I'm bleeding! Just trying to get to the hospital! (then cut yourself and show them)
 
2004-12-20 02:05:52 PM
I like "These aren't the droids your looking for" but it hasn't gotten me out of a ticket yet.
 
2004-12-20 02:06:13 PM
Two things happened the last time I was pulled over.

1. My 4 year old daughter said "Hi Officer" when the policeman came to the car.

2. The dealer screwed my car title up so bad, the cop would have had to take me to jail instead of writitng a ticket. Basically, I was driving a car that was still titled to the auto manufacture.

But a youngster in the back seat, properly straped in, helps.

Broktun | Of course women never get tickets.
 
2004-12-20 02:06:37 PM
Well don't say the following -

officer: Son, do you know how fast you were going?"

me: "Well, you're the one with the damn radar gun! Why don't you tell me and spare the brow beating"
 
2004-12-20 02:06:45 PM
Bees.
 
2004-12-20 02:06:45 PM
I've been to court twice. Once was after they reduced the speed limit from 45 to 35 on a 5 mile touristy section that I'd been commuting for 7 years. I told the judge that I didn't know the limit had changed (true) and he let me off.

Second time was a lame, thought up on the spot excuse which amounted basically to "I was trying to stay a safe distance away from the car behind me"

Failed
 
2004-12-20 02:07:40 PM
budgie == short for "budgerigar" (prob. mis-spelled) which in one of the Australian aboriginal dialects means "good eats".

"Kangaroo" means "I don't know".

/font of useless knowledge
 
2004-12-20 02:08:08 PM
Somehow, if I used the words "budgie," "hire car," or "slip-stream" I don't think I'd get out of a ticket because the cop wouldn't have a damned clue what I was talking about....plus, I'd probably have to say it in a British accent, and that coupled with my SC drivers license would probably prompt them to haul me in for a fluid sample or a nice long stay in the psycho ward.
 
2004-12-20 02:08:21 PM
Admit to speeding, and if you've got no criminal record and/or outstanding warrants; and if you are nice and polite, the officer might let you go with a warning.
 
2004-12-20 02:08:38 PM
"Have you been drinking?"

"Officer, I had 7 beers, two shots and a brandy nightcap before I decided to drive home"

"I'm going to need to give you a breathalyzer"

" What? You don't believe me? You son of a biatch!"
 
2004-12-20 02:08:44 PM
jer2911tx: "...or just come flat out and admit to speeding and apologize and tell them why and beg for mercy."

My mom got stopped without realizing she was speeding (wasn't that far over the limit). Cop kept trying to give her excuses.

"Were you aware you were speeding?"

"No."

"Were you in a rush for some reason?"

"No."

"Are you late for something?"

"No."

Get the hint, Mom.
 
2004-12-20 02:09:24 PM
Only time I heard of a guy get out of a ticket: In HS, a friend was pulled over for speeding. He said he was sorry (key) and forgot since his girlfriend just broke up with him and he wasn't thinking.

The cop let him go with a warning, but then again the town police doesn't rely on tickets for funding, so they gave warnings.
 
2004-12-20 02:09:47 PM
Yeah, how many of you have have felt the "turdle's" head poke out, and you know it's time for some Dukes of Hazzard driving to find the nearest crapper...FAST? Sometimes they just don't understand; cops and turdles.
 
2004-12-20 02:09:51 PM
Sorry officer, I was speeding to the library to find out what the hell a budgie is ...
 
2004-12-20 02:10:02 PM
officer: Drunk driving without a license
me: I can get a license for drunk driving?
officer: No
me: But you just said...
officer: No
 
2004-12-20 02:10:11 PM
I've been pulled over 5 or 6 times for speeding. I don't bullsh*t around with cops. I tell them "I'm in a hurry, period."

I've only received one ticket out of those times.


/no, I'm not a good looking female...quite the opposite.
 
2004-12-20 02:10:18 PM
Did anyone say a budgie is a parakeet?

My favorite excuse is "Officer I was in a hurry because your wife said to get right over before you got home."

-Forgot which comedian said it first
 
2004-12-20 02:10:41 PM
Crikey, my budgie was eaten by a dingo! Kangeroo!

Damn, Austrailian slang is so fun to speak. It's too bad that probably no one actually uses it there.
 
2004-12-20 02:10:47 PM
I have tried unbuttoning my shirt and showing cleavage to get out of a ticket before. It didn't work. I think that my beard kind of screwed that up for me.
 
2004-12-20 02:11:01 PM
I'm sorry for racing away from you officer but 2 weeks ago my ex ran off with a police officer and I thought you might be bringing her back!!!
 
2004-12-20 02:11:53 PM
"Sorry officer, but my balls are on fire!"

/voting?
 
2004-12-20 02:11:57 PM
I was in Panama City Beach, FL on my senior trip from high school when my friends and I were pulled over with 2 other cars on the strip. We were in my buddy's truck that was absolutely loaded down with beer. The cop had taken all of our licences and started walking back to his car when someone on the sidewalk stole the car pulled over in front. The kid who's car it was started screaming like he had been shot and the cop threw all of our licences back in our direction and took off after the car.

We all stood there for a second in stunned silence before jumping back in the truck and heading to the bar.

//good times
 
2004-12-20 02:13:20 PM

Because I could get Uromysitisis poisoning and die. That's why!
 
2004-12-20 02:13:34 PM
i was pulled over for speeding by an arkansas state trooper on a sunday on my way to the tulsa oklahoma zoo about 10 years ago. this is true, he walks up to the window of the truck and says "are you going somewhere?" i said , "no, i just got back from there, i didnt like it."
that wasnt a good response. $85 stinking dollars for 4 miles over.
 
2004-12-20 02:14:35 PM
The best advice I've ever read on dealing with the Police when pulled over for speeding:

http://www.ehowa.com/mythoughts/nospeeding.shtml

warning, some parts of Ernie's site are NSFW.

I have followed this advice and it has saved me from getting at least 4 speeding tickets. One Texas Highway Patrol even complimented me on my courtesy and said that was why I was just getting a warning for going 16 miles over the speed limit.

Bottom line, it's them that roll the dice with their safety each and every time they pull someone over. It's you that can make their day better.
 
2004-12-20 02:14:56 PM
I wonder if anyone has ever used the "I have a turdlehead pokin' out and I need to get home FAST" excuse. That's what I want to know.

It has happened and caused me to speed. Don't lie. You know you have.
 
2004-12-20 02:15:20 PM
Clinton made me do it!

Caution: The above only works on cops with the mindset of Weaver95 and the like.
 
2004-12-20 02:16:05 PM
I got out of a ticket while I had my 30-day tags on a new Toyota with an apology: "I'm sorry officer, my old car was much nosier than this one, I didn't realize I was going that fast." It probably helped that it was 2am and I was sober (I expect he was looking for drunks.) And that my previous car was an '81 AMC Concord which sight unseen just screams 'PILE OF JUNK'.
 
2004-12-20 02:17:31 PM
But still one of my favorite jokes:

Office, "Do you know how fast you were driving when I spotted you?"

Driver, "Yes, and I'd be going a whole lot faster if you hadn't of bothered me."
 
2004-12-20 02:17:31 PM
Noisier! Nosier! Not nosier.
 
2004-12-20 02:18:28 PM
Budgie?
I guess that's a Dog.....
 
2004-12-20 02:20:08 PM
Caught speeding by a camera? Isn't that a little shady? I let people borrow my car all the time, how do they know who is driving? Why is it fair that I end up with points on my license because of how other people may be driving my car. And don't give me any line about how it's my responsibility to know how fast my friends/family are driving. No matter how much I make them promise, if they're ten miles away from me, they're not going to care and I have no way of knowing.
 
2004-12-20 02:20:39 PM
True story. My daughter was born prematurely 15 years ago at 2.5 lbs. I had spent 4 days at the hospital without rest or a shower. I went home got cleaned up. On the way back to the hospital I hit the highway doing 90. Me and my red supra were pulled over for doing 95. The state trooper said he had been chasing me for over a mile. I explained my situation and apologized. He went back to his car and when he returned he asked me what hospital room my wife was in. I told him, he had already checked it out. He handed my license back to me and said good luck with my daughter.
 
2004-12-20 02:21:27 PM
If you're young, they expect you to be a jackass. By not being a jackass, I've gotten out of lots of tickets.

$94 fine for doing 160mph in a 55 zone.
 
2004-12-20 02:22:09 PM
Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over?
Fletcher: Depends on how long you were following me.
Cop: Let's start from the top.
Fletcher: Here it goes: I sped. I followed too closely. I ran a stop sign. I almost hit a Chevy. I sped some more. I failed to yield at a crosswalk. I changed lanes at an intersection. I changed lanes without signaling while running a red light and SPEEDING!
Cop: Is that all?
Fletcher: No... I have unpaid parking tickets.
 
2004-12-20 02:22:50 PM
Cop friend of mine used to say, "If a chick cries, she gets a ticket. I feel bad enough giving the farking things out, but if you make me feel guilty, I get pissed. And when I get pissed, you're gettin' a ticket. And if I think you're just crying to get OUT of a ticket, you're getting a ticket."

Moral of the story: Don't cry in front of the cop if the cop is Todd.
 
2004-12-20 02:23:56 PM
jer2911tx
I dunno about once they write it, it's too late. I once had a cop rip up a ticket he already wrote.
 
2004-12-20 02:24:16 PM
I got busted doing 92 in a 65. I got a ticket but the trooper was cool and only wrote me up for 70 in a 65. He told me I could take it to court and fight it but I just smiled and said thanks. He asked me if I realized how fast I was going and I told him yes that I was in a hurry.
 
2004-12-20 02:24:54 PM
"I'm sorry, officer, but the dead hooker in my trunk was starting to smell."
 
2004-12-20 02:25:35 PM
There's always the ever unpopular "Don't Speed"
 
2004-12-20 02:25:36 PM
There are people who have never heard the word "budgie"?
 
2004-12-20 02:25:45 PM
You could try to be speeding in a POS car, i.e. Neon, GEO, late model Escort... etc. Buddy was pulled over doing 105 in a Chevy Chevet. The cop was just amazed the he could get the car to go that fast. He got off with a warning.
 
2004-12-20 02:26:46 PM
Worst thing to say: Friend of a friend pulled over for speeding in Georgia (out of state licence). Good 'ole boy cop struts up and asks "You know how fast you were going through my great state of Georgia?"

Guy replies "About as fast as General Sherman sir!"

Needless to say, he got a ticket.
 
2004-12-20 02:26:47 PM
Not A Hippie
When a cop tells you to fight it, he's saying he'll give you a break when you do.
 
2004-12-20 02:27:02 PM
officer: I've been waiting here for you all day
speeder: Well, I got here as fast as I could
 
2004-12-20 02:29:01 PM
I got pulled over for speeding one time. Cop's excuse was that they have had a number of complaints about kids speeding. If I had driven the speed limit in this stretch of road I would have been run over by all the other people going the same speed, if not faster than I was. I also have a spotless record. Had to spend 4 hours in a stupid class on Saturday afternoon. I tried to get out of the ticket, I am guessing the "Hello, Office Pretty" didn't help much.
 
2004-12-20 02:29:45 PM
One time I got caught going like 20mph over the speed limit in Seattle (I'm a Spokompton person), and then.. after the officer got behind me and turned on her lights, I didn't notice for like 2 miles. I pulled over, told her the truth that I didn't notice.... and she let me go with a warning.
 
2004-12-20 02:30:22 PM
"[...] around 190 people are killed and 1,600 seriously injured each year on Welsh roads."

/From the Department of Redundancy Department.
 
2004-12-20 02:30:42 PM
In Wake county North Carolina, assuming you are not pulled over for driving while Mexican, which is an automatic fine for something, you would have to be going more than 85 in a 65 zone on the highway to get pulled over. That's what the statebadge smokey da bear hats go for. But.. on side streets which are the domain of the local clowns, and the city which gets the money for those tickets, they've decided that mass ticket writing is a major revenue source for the city. So they enforce 1mph over. And even if the fine is only 25 bucks, it's still a moving violation so you have to go to court in person and pay the $100 court costs plus the fine plus waiting around all day in Third World Central.

Again though, DWM (Driving while Mexican) means all bets are off. You WILL get a seat belt, car seat and the ever popular driving with a suspended licence. Those cops must have some super powerful xray vision that they can tell that from down the street not having any other reason to pull the poor slobs over.



I would recommend people using their camera phone to take pictures of the cop as they stand next to your car. It might just throw them off a little bit.
 
2004-12-20 02:30:59 PM
senoy

Its also questionably unconstitutional, as they, basically, send you the fine, w/ photo attached, without a trial.

You have a right to a trial.
 
2004-12-20 02:31:21 PM
I was stopped for "erratic driving".

I said "I know what you think, I realize my driving was a bit agressive, but I was in total control, and if you want to write me a ticket, go ahead, but I'll see you in court for sure about it."

I got off with a stern warning.
 
2004-12-20 02:32:12 PM
Sounds like the article on Fark the other week about the most common welsh excuses for stolen tv.

Maybe the Welsh are Tall-Story tellers?
 
2004-12-20 02:33:58 PM
Seriously, folks. I need to know if my crapping defense will hold. When you have to go, you have to go. I'd even be willing to take the ticket if the officer would follow me home and let me get some relief. That stuff is not funny.
 
2004-12-20 02:34:07 PM
Q(me): why didn't you pull over that other guy? He was going faster than me?

Q(cop): Have you ever gone fishing?

A(me): Sure

Q(cop): did you ever catch all the fish?

A(me): no, but I also throw back the little ones.

COP: You can go.
 
2004-12-20 02:35:05 PM
 
2004-12-20 02:37:01 PM
fwibble

I had no clue. I just figured he was giving me a break as it was by not taking my license. Damn, wish I would have known that then.
 
2004-12-20 02:37:14 PM
Is it just me or are there a few words missing from the end of the headline?
 
2004-12-20 02:37:18 PM
When I was moving to Michigan I got pulled over at 2a for having handcuffs on my rear-view (hey, I was I child of the 80's). The exchange went:

Him: "Take those down."
Me: "OK."
Him: "You're lucky you have the key. I could have your car towed if I wanted."
Me: "No, if i was lucky, you'd have something better to be doing tonight."
Him: "Out of the car, longhair."

That got me and my car (packed full of belongings I was moving from LA) searched. Took him an hour, but it was satisfying since I knew damn well I had nothing in there, and needed a quick nap.
 
2004-12-20 02:37:48 PM
sniderman I dunno. My sister has had more speeding tickets than I can count. But she's also gotten out of more than I can count. She brags about it too. Crying is usually her ploy and it seems to work for her.

The last time she was pulled over, she had her baby in the back seat. She pulled into someone's driveway rather than pulling to the median like a normal person. She was still facing in the direction of traffic though, she had just pulled off the road and onto their driveway. Anyway, the cop comes up and says, "ma'am, you need to pull forward, you're blocking this person's driveway." So she pulls forward - in the ditch. The left-rear wheel of the car is sticking up off the ground. She's screaming that the car is going to flip and her baby is going to die. I guess the cop finally talked her down and told her how to get the car out.

And of course, she didn't get a ticket. She's either very lucky or very stupid.
 
2004-12-20 02:38:01 PM
Judge told me once I shouldn't be allowed to drive a nail in this country.
 
2004-12-20 02:38:33 PM
senoy:

Caught speeding by a camera? Isn't that a little shady? I let people borrow my car all the time, how do they know who is driving? Why is it fair that I end up with points on my license because of how other people may be driving my car. And don't give me any line about how it's my responsibility to know how fast my friends/family are driving. No matter how much I make them promise, if they're ten miles away from me, they're not going to care and I have no way of knowing.
It's called vicarious liabilty. Popular in Europe. It sucks, don't let it happen anywhere that it's already legal.

/hates speeding tickets.
 
2004-12-20 02:38:51 PM
ImLinux-

The first person to say 'These aren't the droids you're looking for' to me gets a walk.

/spent a year as a 'sandtrooper'
//move along
 
2004-12-20 02:39:18 PM
that it's not already legal.

/duh.
 
2004-12-20 02:42:15 PM
Little bit of a thread jack, but also something you shouldn't try to get out of here. This guy got owned.

http://www.eq2permafrost.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=216
 
2004-12-20 02:42:30 PM
Look, I know you probably want to give me a ticket. But maybe Mr. George Washington can change your mind...
 
2004-12-20 02:42:49 PM
Another cute thing you can try at your own peril in the Tar Heel Taliban State is dirtying up your plate. Since the plates in Tarheelistan are made by retarded crackmonkeys they fade away after about one year. Add a little mud and they are basically unreadable.

I saw parked yesterday a brand new Lexus that had a plastic cover over the plate that functioned like a prism. You could read the plate dead on but from any other angle it was blank. Don't know whether they're legal.
 
2004-12-20 02:43:57 PM
syberpud:

Only time I heard of a guy get out of a ticket: In HS, a friend was pulled over for speeding. He said he was sorry (key) and forgot since his girlfriend just broke up with him and he wasn't thinking.

I've pulled that one, only I desperately added some tears for realism (since I thought I was completely screwed.) I didn't think I was going to get away with it at all, but he actually let me off with a warning after pulling me over for 60 over (95 in a 35.) Also a major factor is that it was 2:00am and he was looking for drunk drivers, which I wasn't.
 
2004-12-20 02:45:25 PM
Q: Do you know why I pulled you over sir?

A: I was third in a line of three speeding cars and I'm clearly driving an out of state rental.
 
2004-12-20 02:45:33 PM
bludstone, senoy

I definitely agree. My girlfriend works during the day, and I work at night -- sometimes, I drive her car when she's at work, and I'm a much worse driver.

Even if it is *her* car, *I'm* the one more likely to speed. But who gets points off the license? This is honestly not that far from

My ex still has keys to my car and keeps taking it without asking.

Gotta love that 5th Amendment.
 
2004-12-20 02:50:22 PM
1. acquire standard igloo plastic ice chest
2. slap on multiple "live donor kidney", "biohazard", or "human blood products" stickers, available at local tertiary care hospital
3. (optional) fill cooler with beverage of choice
4. point to cooler and tell officer surgeons are waiting for you at XYZ Medical Center.
5. never fails...
6. ask me, i'm a doctor
 
2004-12-20 02:51:27 PM
Way off topic. I'm from the UK originally. To keep a long story short, when I first came to America I over-steared once doing a right-hand turn, causing me to briefly drive on the wrong side of the road.

Of course a cop saw me.

Cop to me: "So sir, do you drive on the other side of the road where you come from?".

Me to cop: "Well yes I do actually".

Cop to me: "[stunned silence]...Errmmmm...OK, well errm...sorry, you can go then"
 
2004-12-20 02:52:36 PM
I was in a hire car and the speedometer was in a different position - I was actually looking at the rev counter by mistake.

That doesn't even make sense.
 
2004-12-20 02:53:06 PM
I was masturbating at the wheel and my accelerator leg spasmed at the point of ecstasy officer. Now can you please let me go as I'm late for my Ebola test.
 
2004-12-20 02:57:27 PM
"I have diarhea!!" didn't work. and I did. and I crapped myself. and the cop laughed at me.
 
2004-12-20 02:59:47 PM
"Sorry it took me so long to pull over, officer. I had to wait for a safe place to ditch a whiskey bottle."

"I bet I can get your gun out of your holster bafore you do."

"No, let me see YOUR license and registration. No, I'm not getting out of the car, I'm not wearing any pants. Sure, call for backup. I got enough beer for everyone."
 
2004-12-20 03:01:06 PM
In reply to "Do you know why I pulled you over?"
Do not reply "Because your station is short on funding, and speeding tickets is an easy way to make extra revenue."

True, sure, but it'll get you locked away for an evening.

Happened to a buddy of mine.
 
2004-12-20 03:06:15 PM
I just got a ticket for cutting in front of slow drivers. Why can't they just ticket slow asshats in the fast lane?
 
2004-12-20 03:07:34 PM
davelog, please put NSFW next to your link next time. You're going to get us in trouble, buddy.
 
2004-12-20 03:07:51 PM
in highschool, i was in car with a bunch of other 16 year olds... like many 16 year olds.. my friend was driving like an ass... about 55 in a residental, at the bottom of a large hill... a speed trap was set up... we blew thru it and got pulled over

the cop... seeing a group of jackass 16 year olds.. including one that was driving recklessly says

'I've been waiting for one of you all day...'

and my friend goes

'I got here as fast as I could officer'

Cop laughs hysterically, and waved us on.. to go shoulder tap for beer
 
2004-12-20 03:08:36 PM
ImLinux

My friend used that one 2 months ago. I was in the car with him and never have I seen a cop laugh so hard. No ticket.
 
2004-12-20 03:09:25 PM
"Do you realize how fast you were driving, son?"
"Um... the speed of light?"
"What?"
"All objects travel at the speed of light in four-dimensional spacetime, officer."

Somehow I doubt that would fly...

/tired of having only religion and politics as valid threadjacking topics
 
2004-12-20 03:09:50 PM
"Mind if i search your vehical?"
"why? you looking for dead babies?"
 
2004-12-20 03:10:31 PM

Not my chop but I think a farker.
 
2004-12-20 03:10:46 PM
Another "Todd the cop" story: Pulled over some smartass for speeding. Had every intention of running the plates and - if all checked out - the guy was going to be given a walk. As he turned to walk back to his patrolcar, the driver muttered under his breath, "Better getcher bullet from your shirt pocket, Barney."

And that's when "a warning for speeding" turned into "the 2-hour cavity search."
 
2004-12-20 03:12:53 PM
"Don't I pay your salary?!?!"
 
2004-12-20 03:14:43 PM
basstovin

Okay, maybe I'm an asshat, but I never understood this. Every time I drive through Washington state I see those signs. But either the freeway is so packed it makes no sense for everyone to be merging right all the time, or there's virtually no traffic so who cares? Plus Washington drivers are so SLOW I pass 99% of them just driving the posted speed limit. So can someone explain this to me please?
 
2004-12-20 03:15:57 PM
We were in Salino, Utah when we were arrested for not going through a green light. We pleaded "maybe". I asked the judge if he knew what time it is, he did, and I said, "No further questions."
 
2004-12-20 03:19:33 PM
Not a speeding story but close....

A few friends were crossing the boarder to Canada. The Mounty ask, "Do you have any guns or drugs?" Said friend motions for the cop to come closer and he whispers, "What do you need?" All five were up against the wall... etc.
 
2004-12-20 03:21:03 PM
I was in a hire car and the speedometer was in a different position - I was actually looking at the rev counter by mistake.

What freaking language is that? Swahili?
 
2004-12-20 03:21:32 PM
senoy:

Caught speeding by a camera? Isn't that a little shady? I let people borrow my car all the time, how do they know who is driving? Why is it fair that I end up with points on my license because of how other people may be driving my car. And don't give me any line about how it's my responsibility to know how fast my friends/family are driving. No matter how much I make them promise, if they're ten miles away from me, they're not going to care and I have no way of knowing.


We have those camera speeding boxes (actually, the boxes only catch people running red lights and there are vans that sit on the roadside and that pictures of speeders) where I'm originally from (AZ). I got flashed by one once while I was driving my dad's car. He went to court for me (since the ticket was in his name) and just said it wasn't him driving. They couldn't give him a because it was not him driving. They also could not force him to tell them who was driving.

Moral: only drive other people's cars around the speeding camera things.
 
2004-12-20 03:22:12 PM
szyska:

Not a speeding story but close....

A few friends were crossing the boarder to Canada. The Mounty ask, "Do you have any guns or drugs?" Said friend motions for the cop to come closer and he whispers, "What do you need?" All five were up against the wall... etc.



Were your friends also carrying $2 bills by chance?
 
2004-12-20 03:23:51 PM
TH : We have the same problem here in Orlando, I am from Philly where if you do less then 10 over the limit you get hollered at.
 
2004-12-20 03:26:09 PM
Colorado has "Keep Right Except To Pass" signs on all of their steep uphills. Why? Because they can't afford the completely useless and ambiguous "Slower Traffic Keep Right" to keep asshats from impeding large tractor/trailers in the mountains. So why do they trust "Slower Traffic Keep Right" signs on the flat roads? Because they're asshats.

I tried to get Wisconsin to change all of their "Slower Traffic Keep Right" signs to the more sane and easily understood "Keep Right Except To Pass", but they wouldn't do it because of budgetary constraints.

All I know is nothing gives me more road rage faster than an asshat going the speed limit in the left lane.
 
2004-12-20 03:27:43 PM
We have those camera speeding boxes (actually, the boxes only catch people running red lights and there are vans that sit on the roadside and that pictures of speeders) where I'm originally from (AZ)

I cover my face whenever I drive through Scottsdale, not because I'm speeding, but because I'm Mexican.
 
2004-12-20 03:28:15 PM
I got pulled over back on Halloween. I was courteous to the officer and offered a sincere apology for breaking the speed limit. He was cool enough about the whole ordeal and ran me for outstanding warrants and such. Two minutes later he comes back and gives me a verbal warning. I decided to have a laugh with the officer and asked him "Would you give a speeding ticket to a guy wearing this t-shirt?" He took a long look at my t-shirt and asked me if I would step out and show it to his partner. I obliged and the other officer came up and read my shirt. We all had a good laugh, and they even asked where I got the shirt. I gave them the URL for bounty hunter inc.

The shirt reads "VIOLENCE WORKS" at the top of the photo, and underneath it says "Support police brutality". The picture is of a cop with a some person in a choke hold, with other officers around them in riot gear.

Thank god I got one of the only cool cops in Plano. I was doing 10 over the posted limit...and usually that = big fine.

Thanks bounty hunter!

 
2004-12-20 03:29:35 PM
I got pulled over with a couple friends when we were 16 for "swerving in my own lane". It was a small town, with one female cop, who apparently had "somehting to prove". I asked what that was supposed to mean, because i thought that the lane was for my use, and if i was swerving in it, well, it was my 8ft to use. She didn't like that answer, and asked if we were smoking weed (me and said friends had long hair at the time, in a small farming community). Asshat friend in the back pipes up "we don't know what weed even smell's like, m'aam." Next thing we know, we're out of the car, being patted down, and searched. Best part is, we weren't smoking weed, and didn't have any (at the time)....and her partner was cool. We stood outside the car in the freezing weather, and talked to him about the snowtires on the cop car, and chasing people in the wintertime....how his car handled...and he told us he didn't truly even know why we were pulled over in the first place.

Got off with a warning, told to drive more carefully. Officer Robo-biatch...remember her well.....
 
2004-12-20 03:31:03 PM
Not something you could easily duplicate, but...

My future mother-in-law was going back to work from lunch last Tuesday. She drove past a cop going the other direction, knowing she was speeding. As she was getting ready to turn into the work parking lot, she saw the cop had turned around and was behind her. She pulled into the parking lot, and he pulled in right after her. It's a small company (my fianc works there too) and everyone saw the flashers right away. Everyone was standing at the window laughing and taking pictures as the cop stood at the car.

Officer: "Do you know how fast you were going?"
Future ML: "No"
Officer: "Do you have a good reason for going that fast?"
Future ML: "No"
Future ML: (Bows her head in shame) "I'm the general manager here."

Officer looks and sees the people at the window, gives her a warning and drives away.

She was going 58 in a 35.
 
2004-12-20 03:31:50 PM
I don't know why -- maybe I have an honest face (I am often mistaken for being in the military) -- but, even though I get pulled over quite a bit, I never get a ticket (*knock on wood*).

I remember once being ripped out of my gourd when the police had set up a DUI blockade. The officer examining my documents couldn't have possibly missed my obvious intoxication. Still, he let me drive away.

And, for other blockades, the police routinely wave me through when other drivers with similar appearance and similar vehicles get stopped and searched. Go figure.

The police seem to like me for some reason. But, I like them too. I, for one, am not a cop-hater.
 
2004-12-20 03:32:12 PM
basstovin
Have you ever used the I-5 from LA to SF? Also, if you're cruising at 90+, why bother getting out of the left lane?
 
2004-12-20 03:34:13 PM
Tranquil Hegemony

I love that rule in Washington State. Try traveling down a two-lane highway on the Olympic Peninsula behind a slow driver. If you want to go 20 MPH below the speed limit in your Chevy Nova, then fine. But pull over and let my pass.
 
2004-12-20 03:34:15 PM
If I'm doing 55 (in a 55 zone) and I am in the left lane, then I am going as fast as possible and no one should mind. If it increases the amount of road rage on the highway by several thousand percent, then maybe you SHOULDN'T HAVE GIVEN ME A FARKIN' TICKET FOR DOING OTHERWISE YA HYPOCRITICAL REVENUE ENHANCERS.
Oh, and it's your problem, I'm just doing what you want.
 
2004-12-20 03:35:12 PM
Beeblebrox: He's talking about looking at the tachometer in a rental car. Hardly Swahili. I'd hate to see your reaction if someone wanted to look under your bonnet...
 
2004-12-20 03:38:48 PM
 
2004-12-20 03:41:16 PM
I was speeding home to stop my friend from committing suicide because he found out he couldn't become a banker.
 
2004-12-20 03:41:22 PM
ARRRGGGHHHH!

I hate speeding tickets and I hate stupid traffic cops.

I'm driving home from Las Vegas to Chicago - I'm in the middle of farking Nebraska. I get pulled over for speeding - it's about 3am there hasn't been another car or exit or *anything* in hours. The place is freaking NEBRASKA it's *empty*. So I get pulled over and the truth is - I was speeding, I knew I was speeding, I told the cop that I was speeding, and that I was sorry and that I'd really appreciate it if I could get a warning, blah blah blah.

Here's the kicker - the guy comes back with my ticket and tells me it's $240 dollars! TWO HUNDRED and FORTY dollars! He says I was going 99 the HONEST TO GOD TRUTH is that I was doing 90. It should have been a $125 dollar ticket - I told him flat out that he was mistaken and I wasn't going that fast. He says to me 'Well, you can always drive back out here and tell it to the judge'.

Yeah, 'Serve and protect' my ass. He flat out ripped me off; he knew it, I knew it - but what am I doing to do? Drive 16 hours back out to Nebraska to go infront of a judge and say 'Yeah, I was speeding but not *that* much - I should only have to be $125'. Even if the judge believes me, I've lost the amount I gained and then some just in the cost of gas to get out there again.

I hate cops.
 
2004-12-20 03:41:37 PM
I got pulled doing 89 in a 35 a few months ago. I was near a local concert venue and on my way to a show, when I remembered I had a bass guitar and an amp in the back of my hatchback, clearly visible from outside. I jumped out of the car as soon as we both pulled over, ran to the cop, explained that I was in the opening band for the show tonight, running late, needed to be there for soundcheck in five minutes or we'd not be allowed our time slot on the show, pointed to the back of my car as proof. He commented about how his son was going to that show, and that I'd better hurry up or I was going to be late.

Kinda stood there dumbfounded for a half a second before I ran back to my car and took off.

A friend of mine carries a packet of fake blood in his glove compartment. Said if he gets pulled over, he busts it open all over his hand and nose, and claims his nose started bleeding and that he's trying to get somewhere to get some tissues, or get home, etc, depending on where he's at at the time. He said it's worked twice so far out of two times.
 
2004-12-20 03:42:03 PM
don't speed, don't play around with the family's of policemen, don't lend your car. that's almost foolproof.

i know of people with radar jamming equipment on the dash, people who have registered cars to people living overseas, and who have donor bikes with the plate on a bit of wire to lift it up when they're moving. you're in trouble if you're caught

don't be too surprised if they impound the vehicle and do some forensice on the steering: so get your story straight

on a related note: in an accident or whatever, never, ever say you weren't looking at the road or were distracted at the crucial moment: you were "checking your mirrors".

speeding is stupid, dangerous and irresponsible

on an unrealted note: The following is a true story. It amused the hell out of me while it was happening. I hope it isn't one of those "had to be there" things.

On my way home from the second job I've taken for the extra holiday ca$h I need, I was speeding past the Taco Bell and got pulled over. In my billfold are 40 $2 bills. That is all of the cash I have on my person. I figure that with the $2 bills, I canpay the fine and not have to worry about people getting mad at me. etc etc
 
2004-12-20 03:43:58 PM
apologies to Beeblebrox - i hadn't seen your post :)
 
2004-12-20 03:45:08 PM
lorian69:

I've pulled that one, only I desperately added some tears for realism (since I thought I was completely screwed.) I didn't think I was going to get away with it at all, but he actually let me off with a warning after pulling me over for 60 over (95 in a 35.) Also a major factor is that it was 2:00am and he was looking for drunk drivers, which I wasn't.

I call bull on that story. There's not a cop in this country who wouldn't have your ass in the slammer for doing 95 in a 35. There's a point where it passes from speeding into reckless endangerment, and at over 2.5x the posted limit, you crossed it.
 
2004-12-20 03:47:04 PM
families sheesh
 
2004-12-20 03:48:32 PM
21-7-b

...and who have donor bikes with the plate on a bit of wire to lift it up when they're moving. you're in trouble if you're caught

How is this illegal (unless you're caught using it)?
 
2004-12-20 03:49:39 PM
Oh yeah, what's wrong w/ passing on the right? I do it frequently, and I get passed on the right every now and then. No big deal.
 
2004-12-20 03:51:57 PM
Serengeti: Depends on the location though. In my case it was 89 in a 35, but it was on the highway. The speed drops down to 35 to go through a tunnel, and then when you get out, you go over a drawbridge and it's 55 again. 89 in a 55 is still pretty bad, but it's get-out-able in some cases (obviously). The fact is, it only drops to 35 because there's a bunch of merging traffic... but I was the only car in sight, and the only one in my car.

I suppose 95 in a 35 could be gotten out of. Not with my luck though. I'm usually not too good at getting out of them. Got 89 (a trend?) in a 65 going down the side of a mountain 40 miles from West Virginia / VA border. Only car out there, never driven in the mountains in my life. Driving down a damn near 90 degree incline. Didn't get out of it and had to drive six hours to the court case. Bastards.
 
2004-12-20 03:52:14 PM
Also, does anyone else find it COMPLETELY RETARDED that you get fined more depending on how many mph over the speed limit you are going?

1-5 you pay $75
5-10 you pay $125
10-15 you pay ... etc etc

I don't know what the prices are exactly but I know both IL and NE use this type of system and it's the STUPIDEST thing I can think of. If you want to have a graduated fine system it should totally be basied of a percentage over the speed limit you are going. Going 10 over in a 25 is a lot more dangerous than going 10 over in a 70.
 
2004-12-20 03:52:15 PM
lorian69
There's not a cop in this country who wouldn't have your ass in the slammer for doing 95 in a 35. There's a point where it passes from speeding into reckless endangerment, and at over 2.5x the posted limit, you crossed it.

I went right by a cop at 165 in a 55 and ended up with a ticket for 29mph over ($100 fine + points).
 
2004-12-20 03:53:18 PM
A friend with a 2-year-old daughter was stopped driving home with his daughter strapped in the back seat. Thinking quickly, he handed her a cookie, let her take a bite, then snatched it away, shouting, "NO COOKIE!"

Explosive small child fireworks begin (you know the kind) just as cop arrives at window. Buddy explains that he and his daughter had a long day and he just wanted to get her home to bed.

The cop didn't even say another word--he just waved him home. Nice!

Of course, his daughter was scarred for life and will never trust him again, but at least he saved the $80 the ticket would have cost...
 
2004-12-20 03:54:06 PM
fwibble

i don't know: it might not be.
 
2004-12-20 03:54:18 PM
EdudBor
if you want to have a graduated fine system it should totally be basied of a percentage over the speed limit you are going

Writing a ticket shouldn't require a calculator.
 
2004-12-20 03:56:31 PM
For those of you whining about the speed cams, the law is written that the owner of the car is responsible for the ticket. Go ahead and have your court hearing, you're still going to pay. That aside, I worked with this old timer who thought this was the first horseman of the apocalypse. He didn't fight in WWII, or Korea or whatever war he was in to put up with this crap. His letters to the editor about the evil of speed cams were a weekly feature in the paper. Lo and behold, one day he's driving home and he sees the speed trap. He's going 29 in a 30 zone, and claims he sees the camera go off. (The cop actually manually took the pic.) He knows he's not speeding, so he drives around the block, this time at 25. Same result. He goes around the block once more, 25 MPH, and the cop takes a pic. The guy thinks he's got 'em, he's going to sue the department, etc., etc. He crowed about it for a week. Then the 3 tickets arrived in the mail - 3 separate tickets for failing to wear his seatbelt, which was hanging out the driver's door. I'm sure the boys down at the station had a good laugh over that one.
 
2004-12-20 03:56:41 PM
thisidentityisfalse

Sorry. What was NSFW about that poll? Not trying to get anyone in trouble, just too damn lazy to retype it for the benefit of discussion.
 
2004-12-20 03:57:31 PM
Tranquil Hegemony: Okay, maybe I'm an asshat, but I never understood this.
either the freeway is so packed it makes no sense for everyone to be merging right all the time, or there's virtually no traffic so who cares?


I hate to get into another flame fest on this subject but let me try to explain. It's a rule of courtesy. You should never pass someone on their right. It's dangerous because usually if a car is speeding up behind me my first reaction is to move right. If all lanes are bumper to bumper traffic then obviously it doesn't make sense to move to the right lane but if the highway is mostly empty then staying to the right except to pass is the decent thing to do so that others who drive faster than you can pass on your left. Road rage results from drivers who get on an empty highway pull all the way over to the left and drive at the speed limit ignoring anyone that wants to pass (you can usually recognize these drivers by their New Jersey plates.) They do this, I suppose, so that they can set their cruise control and not have to worry about accelerating or decelerating. It's inconsiderate and dangerous. Of course there are also the assholes who will tailgate you and attempt to pass you on the right while you are attempting to pass someone properly which is also dangerous. What I learned was, that when approaching a car that is in the left lane and the right lane is clear you should maintain your distance and briefly flash your highbeams to signal that you want to pass. But it seems like people take this as some sort of threat. Really it's all about courtesy.
 
2004-12-20 03:58:40 PM
fwibble
Writing a ticket shouldn't require a calculator.

First: A cop should be able to do basic arthmetic. If he/she can't maybe he/she shouldn't be a cop.

Second: They already have an assortment of devices in their car - they already spend 15 minutes running my plates and licesnse - they have plenty of time and plenty of resources.
 
2004-12-20 04:00:16 PM
I don't know what the prices are exactly but I know both IL and NE use this type of system and it's the STUPIDEST thing I can think of. If you want to have a graduated fine system it should totally be basied of a percentage over the speed limit you are going. Going 10 over in a 25 is a lot more dangerous than going 10 over in a 70.

Yea, so when you get caught going 10 mph in a 5 mph zone, that's 100% over the limit and you can enjoy the highest possible fine.
 
2004-12-20 04:03:05 PM
Cohesion
Yea, so when you get caught going 10 mph in a 5 mph zone, that's 100% over the limit and you can enjoy the highest possible fine.

I've never seen a 5mph zone in my entire life. The lowest speed limit I've ever seen on a road has been 25mph - with the exception of areas near schools on days/times when class is in session.

And why would you thin 100% over the limit is the highest possible fine?
 
2004-12-20 04:03:52 PM
2004-12-20 03:22:12 PM Beeblebrox


szyska:

Not a speeding story but close....

A few friends were crossing the boarder to Canada. The Mounty ask, "Do you have any guns or drugs?" Said friend motions for the cop to come closer and he whispers, "What do you need?" All five were up against the wall... etc.


Were your friends also carrying $2 bills by chance?

**************************
I couldn't tell you. But I do believe they were on their way to Taco Bell.
 
2004-12-20 04:03:59 PM
if i'm speeding in the fast lane, trying to hurry and pass someone who's driving slow, and some asshat flies up behind me, gets right on my bumper, and flashes their hi-beams at me, like its all my fault that he had to slow down, then i will purposely pace the car next to me for a few minutes, just to piss 'em off more.
 
2004-12-20 04:06:59 PM
2004-12-20 02:57:27 PM WoolyThongChafe
"I have diarhea!!" didn't work. and I did. and I crapped myself. and the cop laughed at me.

I cried, thats come funny shiat(no pun intended)
 
2004-12-20 04:08:55 PM
I've never seen a 5mph zone in my entire life. The lowest speed limit I've ever seen on a road has been 25mph - with the exception of areas near schools on days/times when class is in session.

There is mall in Mesa where the surrounding streets have a limit of 7 mph, not 5, not 10 but 7. who came up with this?

Why did I picked 100% as the max? because your chances of reaching 150 mph are pretty small on a freeway w/75 mph limit. Also since you didn't elaborate on your "percent over" system I pick numbers that would make you idea seem silly.
 
2004-12-20 04:09:36 PM
switch picked and pick around
 
2004-12-20 04:09:46 PM
To all the farkers posting about "Keep right unless passing" and whatnot... When I took my drivers ed test one of the questions was "If you pull onto the highway and it is busy, you should:"
A) Slow down and join traffic in the right lane
B) Move over into the left lane
C) Slam on your brakes and attempt to cause a record pileup
D) Some other stupid answer

I answered A, which is apparently wrong. The correct answer is C.

/It's really B
//Lives in NH
///Mixed feelings about the Granite State
 
2004-12-20 04:12:59 PM
Cohesion: Another place you see odd limits like that are golf courses. When you're pulling up to the clubhouse, the speed limits are normally 6 or 7 mph. I'm told this number is chosen to make people think "wtf!?," and they're more likely to abide by the limit while pondering the absurdity.
 
2004-12-20 04:17:34 PM
Now that I think about it - I have seen an 11mph speed limit in the parking lot of a Casinio in Vegas.

Anyway - the percentage system still makes a ton more sense, just throw in a catch all - for any speed limit <= 25mph use 25mph as the speed limit. After that point have a graduated percentage system. That way the more *dangerous* you are being the higher your speeding ticket. That would encourage people to be safe...but let's face it - our speeding laws aren't about protecting people, or about making the highways safer...it's about making someone money.
 
2004-12-20 04:21:03 PM
All I know is nothing gives me more road rage faster than an asshat going the speed limit in the left lane.

I already know the answer to this one, but, if he's going the speed limit, what reason do you have to pass him? By doing so, you are breaking the law, and possibly endangering the lives of those around you. And, "cuz I'm in a hurry" is not a reasonable excuse.
 
2004-12-20 04:23:00 PM
From the article: Every year, around 190 people are killed and 1,600 seriously injured on Welsh roads.

Amateurs, jebus that's not even a weeks worth of carnage on the Long Island Expressway.

/ There's nothing "express about that expressway.
 
2004-12-20 04:28:46 PM
Going the speed limit in the left lane is

A) Correct
B) Legal
C) Causes MUCH more problems than it solves
D) Extremely unsafe for you and all vehicles next to you and all vehilcle behind you for a mile.
E) Is the BEST way to get even with the police, and asshat tailgaters (but watch out for guns; they DO kill people).
 
2004-12-20 04:32:09 PM
C) Causes MUCH more problems than it solves

I think you meant MANY more problems.
 
2004-12-20 04:33:35 PM
I'm updating a spreadsheet, converting a site to frame-relay and commenting on Fark. Gimme a break on the grammar. :-)
 
2004-12-20 04:34:03 PM
My father is the City Manager of the town I grew up in. He sits in on final interviews for cops, etc. One of the questions asked of all cops is, "City policy is anyone going over 7 mph will be given a ticket. If you pull the Chief of Police's husband/wife over for going 35 in a 25, would you ticket them?" Applicants answer...."you don't shiat where you eat do you?"

Wonder if she is still looking for work????
 
2004-12-20 04:36:31 PM
2004-12-20 03:57:31 PM deviousp


Tranquil Hegemony: Okay, maybe I'm an asshat, but I never understood this.
either the freeway is so packed it makes no sense for everyone to be merging right all the time, or there's virtually no traffic so who cares?

I hate to get into another flame fest on this subject but let me try to explain. It's a rule of courtesy. You should never pass someone on their right.


AFAIK, it is illegal in every state of the union, excepting Massachusetts, to overtake on the right. It's not curtesy, it's safety. You can see me coming better if I'm on your left. In some places, you will be pulled over and ticketed for overtaking on the right. What is so damn hard about staying as far to the right on a divided highway as possible? Pull over, morans, I shouldn't have to break the law to get past you. If someone is passing you on the right, it's because _you_ are doing something wrong.

And who is driving along at 20 under the limit in the leftmost lane? It's always a small wisp of blue hair under a hat with fruit on it, in a light green Buick. They should be pulled over and ticketed, too.
 
2004-12-20 04:40:13 PM
Hebalo


I already know the answer to this one, but, if he's going the speed limit, what reason do you have to pass him? By doing so, you are breaking the law, and possibly endangering the lives of those around you. And, "cuz I'm in a hurry" is not a reasonable excuse.


Because speed limits are not set to save lives, they are set to generate revenue.

Its true, and you know it.

I wish I could find the page, but this has been done-over by scientists dozens of times. Its actually not speed that causes accidents, its poor understanding of the rules. (space between cars, merging, passing left/travelling right)

In short, the speed limit isnt a forcefield. More the hell over and let SOMEONE ELSE take the risk.
 
2004-12-20 04:44:15 PM
I like that on the Autobahn that you can be pulled over for, amoung other things, driving too slow, running out of gas, road rage, tail gating and passing on the right.
 
2004-12-20 04:44:34 PM
Because speed limits are not set to save lives, they are set to generate revenue.

Its true, and you know it.


I certainly don't believe that. For the most part, speed limits make a great deal of sense, and follow a logical progression (at least where I live they do).
 
2004-12-20 04:46:32 PM
bludstone: From the history of the Pennsylvania Turnpike page:

A standard sight distance of 600 feet was chosen. Straight-aways were designed for 100 mph and the spiral curves were superelevated to accommodate 70 mph.
 
2004-12-20 04:49:58 PM
Me and some buddies got pulled over in high school for speeding and the cop comes up to the car and asks

"What's the hurry, Mario?" (as in Mario Andretti)

My buddy's answer: "I'm trying to save the princess."

We got out of the ticket. It also helped that one of the other guy's dad was a cop.
 
2004-12-20 04:50:29 PM
I raced a cop off the light once at an intersection. I just floored it and got to 35 in a couple seconds. The cop pulled me over and asked for my driver's license. He was laughing, which was nice, so I started laughing.

He asked me what I was doing. I didn't really know what to say.

He said "Come on Steve, you can't race cops."

As he said that he pointed thru the cab of my truck to a parking lot. There were two other cops parked talking to each other.

The cop said, "You're making me look bad."

He just continued to laugh and let me go. He couldn't believe it. I got my license back, and said "Thank you. I won't race cops anymore."

He just laughed again and walked away.

/That is the only time they let me go with a warning
//6 speeding tickets
 
2004-12-20 05:28:26 PM
I will add my own story for posterity:

I had just moved to Vancouver, Washington, and decided to tool around & find a nice bar. Did so, got drunk, and also a guy turned me on to the local KB MJ, hydroponic, that is. I admit, I was some F'Up when I got into my car to head home.

I went to drive home, but got lost.

Got pulled over by a Washington State Trooper.

He asked me if I had been drinking. I replied that I certainly had been, and was new to the area, and lost, and my dog was at home, probably ready to split a kidney. All this was true.

He told me to button up the automobile, and get in the back of his cruiser. I was completely at a loss, already wondering who the hell I should call. Actually, I was about ready to cry. (Big baby.)

Well, he gets in the front, & asks for my current address. I wanted to lie, just in case I wanted to disappear after the arraignment, but my better self gave him the correct address.

Guess what? He gave me a ride home! He also wrote down the address of where my car was, and admonished me NOT to try to go get it before morning.

I had no intention of doing that, after he had treated me with such kindness.

So, the moral of the story is:

Telling the truth is a good thing.
 
2004-12-20 05:29:44 PM
busy chillin'

You crack me up. That's just beautiful.


...I once got a $480 ticket for doing 107 in a 65 zone on a Californian FWY. I'd told the guy the truth--I was trying to get some dumb chick I barely knew down to 13 palms to meet her Marine boyfriend before he deployed. I had hoped my military ID would get me some slack, but it didn't.

...or did it? Someone later told me that in Cali I'd normally spend the night in lockup for anything over 100.

/100 is SLOW.
//never speeds more than 10 over now; money not worth it.
 
2004-12-20 05:35:47 PM
To the guy who said he never saw a 5mph speed limit. We have em on all the entrances to the turnpike in EZ pass lanes. Also, a lot of 15mph speed limits too especially in school areas. Good luck getting caught 15 in a 5 that's tripple the speed probably will get jail time if rules change the way some people are trying to suggest.
 
2004-12-20 05:36:02 PM
My favorite: "Oh, crap, I'm a reporter, I was just trying to get to this [accident scene/meeting/lunch/whatever]...god I'm sorry." Cops have an uneasy relationship with the media and don't want to have more investigative reports on their crap.
 
2004-12-20 05:36:31 PM
Cohesion
There is mall in Mesa where the surrounding streets have a limit of 7 mph, not 5, not 10 but 7. who came up with this?

The nursing home where my aged aunt is ensconced has 14 mph speed limits posted. Reason?: what StealthMidget said.
 
2004-12-20 05:47:30 PM
My true tale:

Got pulled over with 3 guys, 3 girls, all 16-17, all had been drinking. Cop turns around to come follow us and we are all throwing the "bum-bought-beer" out the window into the woods as fast as we could (succeeding!). He smells the booze on our breaths, searches the car and finds nothing. Somebody said we had drank earlier back at the house, except for the driver who had just had a couple (whew!) of beers, and he proceeded to give us PIs (except for the driver), and gave the driver a speeding ticket.

So, during our court visit (minus the driver and one of the girls), I instructed everybody as to what we could say to get out of the PIs, since this cop was being a jerk that night and in the courtroom (he was pissed that we were fighting it). We amazingly won, telling the Judge that we had indeed been drinking back at the house, but not in the vehicle. He dismissed the case, and warned us not to repeat that crap in the future.

Well now, since I was the ringleader of the lie that got us off, telling that big lie under oath, I started my car out in the parking lot, and the fukkin engine caught on fire. I ran back in to the courthouse, passing the very cop we'd just pissed off, and was screaming that my car was on fire. One of the night workers ran to get a fire extinguisher, and we put it out quickly. Turns out it was just a backfire through the carb, and it didn't do any real harm as I was able to drive home. The cop was just standing there laughing at me, not even offering to help me out in any way. (I wouldn't have either, so whatever)

So, the moral is this: don't lie under oath, if you can possibly help it.
 
2004-12-20 05:48:12 PM
Fnordia

busy chillin'

You crack me up. That's just beautiful.


Thanks! It is one a my better stories.

Not many people can say they've raced a cop and got away with it.
 
2004-12-20 05:50:53 PM
Craziest speed limit I've seen.

My friend lives in an apartment in Virginia Beach....12.5 MPH in the parking lot.

No shiat...it even has the fraction.
 
2004-12-20 06:06:48 PM
Cop: Can I see your license?

Me: Nope I don't have one. It's suspended.

Cop: Is this your car?

Me: No sir. I just stole it from my girlfriend.

Cop: Is it registered to her?

Me: Probably.

Cop: Show me the registration.

Me: Okay, but it's in the glovebox next to the pistol that I just used to kill her.

Cop: Pulls weapon and orders me out of car. You just killed her?

Me: Yep...and her body's in the trunk.

Cop: (Yells on radio) I need help here. Send everyone and a supervisor. I've got a problem!!!

Hundreds of cops show up. They open the glove box..no gun. They open the trunk...no body. They find my registration...my car. They find my valid license in my wallet.

Cop Supervisor: What kind of game are you playing here?

Me: What do you mean Sergeant?

Cop Supervisor: This officer told me that you had no license, had a weapon in the glovebox, killed your girlfriend and stuffed her in the trunk!!!

Me: (Aghast) You're kidding sir!!! I suppose he told you I was speeding too!!!

///Home free!!!!
 
2004-12-20 06:35:31 PM
Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over?
Me: Well... I'm all out of doughnuts so I'm going to have to go with the cocane in the glove box on this one.
 
2004-12-20 06:39:23 PM
Budgies? As in a 'Flock of Budgies?'

Better than 'And And Farkin' And!'

/Mmmmm... Imelda Quirk!
 
2004-12-20 09:06:09 PM
My sister in law used I have my period and need to get home quick. and Damn if did not work.
 
2004-12-21 04:02:31 AM
Got pulled over twice last summer rolling around blazed with friends:

1'st time - Cop: "Boy, your eyes look red. Have you been smoking weed?"

Friend: "No, I was swimming."

Worked.

2'nd time - Cop: "Boy, your eyes look glazed. Have you been smoking weed?"

Friend: "No, your eyes look glazed. Have you been eating doughnuts?"

Did not work.
 
2004-12-21 05:08:50 AM
in a 60 zone.

Officer: Do you know how fast you were going?
Me: I was aiming for somewhere between 70 and 80. How'd I do?
Officer: 79
Me: Okay, a little higher than I had hoped.
Officer: Do you know what the speed limit is here?
Me: I think the last sign I saw said 70 (lying through my teeth cus I did see it switch to 60 a few miles back)
Officer: Actually it's 60 here and it turns into 50 a little further down.
(brief conversation about how many state lines I had crossed since I last slept and that, as my license showed, I was barely 15 minutes from home.)
(brief conversation involving the officer showing off his new unmarked black SUV)
Officer: Go home and get some sleep. Have a good day and try to be careful.


/no ticket
/fell asleep outside a Safeway 2mi. from home
 
2004-12-21 06:04:08 AM
Moosebayou

WSP's around the 'Couve are usually pretty nice.

/most of them seem to prefer Pepsi to Coke.
//I doubt that has anything to do with anything
 
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