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(This Is London)   Teen kills friend after he refused to get out of his dog's favorite chair   ( divider line
    More: Scary  
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31863 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Dec 2004 at 5:28 AM (12 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2004-12-14 09:26:55 AM  
What is the matter with Americans making up names? I think it's one of the coolest things -- not the ridiculous ones where people name their kids after brands, but that someone can think "Condoleeza" sounds good and name their kid that. And heck, the weird name doesn't seem to have held her back.

I think if I had daughters (I have no plans to have kids, so no one will be tortured with these names.) I would name them after gemstones, like Amber, Emerald, Topaz.
2004-12-14 09:27:21 AM  
[image from too old to be available]

Just have to show off my Staffie Bull
2004-12-14 09:36:12 AM  
Greaser_77 - "What the F does "in row" mean."

A "row" (pronounce the "ow" as in "ow, you bastard, that baseball bat really hurt") is another word for an argument. It's an "English" thing.
2004-12-14 09:38:48 AM  
for those who dont know, these two twits were arguing over a pitbull.

figures such a moron would have a moron's dog.
2004-12-14 09:40:08 AM  
Thank godness they don't have more guns in England, or this kid would have been even more dead.
2004-12-14 09:40:29 AM  
What is the matter with Americans making up names?

Because it requires thought and imagination, something that is frowned upon in Canada.
2004-12-14 09:41:19 AM  
Pitbulls are some of the sweetest puppies of them all!

Their paws smell like gingersnaps.

/it's true
2004-12-14 09:43:21 AM  
for those who dont know, these two twits were arguing over a pitbull.

figures such a moron would have a moron's dog.

You know Pit bulls are very popular amongst blacks, your comment could be taken as racist. FYI
2004-12-14 09:50:50 AM  
Beli Tsar

"I bet those kids were smoking the marijuana. It makes you kill people, you know. Like in that commercial. "

at the risk of changing the direction of the thread I must say that your interpretation of that commerical was a bit off. I believe that the point of it/them was to !dramatize! the fact that there are consequences for doing drugs, such as, impared judgement (like alcohol.
2004-12-14 09:51:14 AM  
"You know Pit bulls are very popular amongst blacks, your comment could be taken as racist. FYI"

So, in order to save cleverloginname's blushes, you're going to detract attention from his post by making comments that are both racsist AND dumb? Bravo. Your selflessness will not be forgotten.
2004-12-14 09:51:36 AM  
...Aaron A. Aardvark Jr or Ulysses Z. Spunkfelcher III.

Is that Spunkfelcher, as in the Boston Spunkfelchers? They're really well known here in the states.
2004-12-14 09:51:54 AM  
Infamy [TotalFark]

Ashley is originally a man's name. Just like Leslie. And Laurie. And I'm sure there are other examples of male names that North Americans have somehow, for some reason, switched over to female.

And when you say 99.99% of the world - I'm sure you just mean:

Out of the North American population who have never read a book or seen a movie dated earlier than 1985, and think that the rest of the world exists just to keep the globe well-balanced in its orbit - 99.99% think that Ashley is a girl's name.


Infamy, Im from Canada. Not only did I know that Ashley could be masculine and feminine, I have read books from before 1985.

Please, keep Canada -- in every aspect -- seperate in your mind from the USA. We happen to have the misfortune of being neighbours, but are a great deal different in many ways that you would find objectionable.

Fire and Ice by Michael Adams talks about the increasing differences between Canadian and USofAmerican values and opinions from a statistical POV.​1/ref=pd _ka_b_2_1/103-0659598-3004634
2004-12-14 09:53:14 AM  
what, no 'your dog wants a lazy-boy' headline? and shouldn't have been a cricket bat?
2004-12-14 10:05:23 AM  
So Ashley and I went to Terry's house and picked up Dana and Leslie on the way. Rene called on my cell and was picking up Billie and we all met at Daryl's place. Boys, girls, who knows.

/names are just names, people define masc./ fem.
2004-12-14 10:07:13 AM  
What, you couldn't just grab him by the collar and yank him out of the chair? I wouldn't kill to give my cat his favorite chair.
2004-12-14 10:08:09 AM  
About that baseball bat thing that's been mentioned...

They sell baseball bats in most sports shops over here and so many people i know own one.....yet i have never known anyone who plays baseball and i've never seen a baseball field anywhere.

Hmmm, wonder what they're used for instead then?? Oh silly me, the article explains it.
2004-12-14 10:09:07 AM  
Actually, there IS a difference between a Staffordshire bull terrier and a Pit bull. Pit Bulls were bred for the traits commonly seen in pit bulls. Namely, instability, lack of fear, etc. They were bred from Staffordshire terriers, but they aren't the same thing. An American Pit Bull was bred for fighting other dogs relentlessly. Now, whether or not all pit bulls are mean fighters is another thing. if a dog is socialized correctly, chances are, it'll be a loving companion dog. But, most people that get pit bulls are morons who WANT a penis replacement dog, and even pit bulls that are properly socialized can be unpredictable because of breeding. This is much less true of a real Stafforshire terrier. Staffies are smaller than Pits, too.

And in the USA, Ashley is usually a female name, whereas in England, it's usually a male name.
Othe unisex names: Leslie, Shannon, Casey, Beryl, Shirl. Many others.
2004-12-14 10:10:35 AM  
It wasn't a cricket bat. Cricket bats are made of wood, and need regular maintenance. For a start, you have to treat them with (I think) linseed oil, which has to be rubbed into the wood. Then the wood needs to be broken in, which means several days' worth of repeatedly bouncing a cricket ball on it. You've got to watch out for cracks, peeling, water damage... all sorts.

Baseball bats, however, seem to be sold in the UK for one purpose - beating people. No one here plays baseball (not counting US army bases and a tiny amount of sickos who actually DO play it), but people still buy them. If you banned them in England tomorrow, I don't think anyone's going to care that much. Besides, if you're a chav from Wandsworth who owns a pitbull, a baseball bat is going to be vastly more socially acceptible than a cricket bat. It's a class thing.
2004-12-14 10:12:42 AM  
I think it was just a misunderstanding that arose when the dead one pointed to his mouth and asked his friend if he wanted to hit it.
2004-12-14 10:13:47 AM  
And on the name thing

England's black left-back is ASHLEY Cole. It is definately a guy name here and seems to be slightly more predominant among black kids for some reason.

The guy's a pretty class footballer, just unfortunate he's a dirty gooner though.
2004-12-14 10:16:47 AM  
Looks like it's time to start the process of banning baseball bats. We must continue to ban items used to hurt others until we live in a hurt free world.
2004-12-14 10:23:31 AM  
Shannon, Ashley, Aubrey, Evelyn are all male names. And I suppose that Cameron will eventually be a female name as well.

An oh, A Boy Named Sue.
2004-12-14 10:27:04 AM  
Damn that sucks. See UK, this is what happends when you ban handguns and most longarms. In the states that kid could have just gotten is daddys unlocked S&W .40 from the bedroom and waved it all around (after smoking a joint of course), and then "accidently" shot his friend in the chest making a nice clean wound, and not this barbaric head cracking baseball bat stuff you Brits do.

Oh and ashley is a girls name. Usually a hot stripper girls name. But yeah I know it can be both... you just don't see it as both.
2004-12-14 10:28:54 AM  
All you would have had to said was 2 words.
Evil Dead.
It was fun playing though.
2004-12-14 10:29:08 AM  
bco2365 --
"Looks like it's time to start the process of banning baseball bats. We must continue to ban items used to hurt others until we live in a hurt free world."

Shiat, we're going to be eventually ruled by the rock collectors.
2004-12-14 10:30:20 AM  
I know a guy whose grandfather's name is Oral.
2004-12-14 10:31:42 AM  
We had a guy running for senate in the last election whose name was Shirley Love. He was the only person on the ballot with "Mr." in front of his name. My Dad's middle name was Deloras, until he reached age 18 and changed it.

Apropos of nothing, I used to have a list of all the stupid/odd/misspelled hillbilly names I ran across doing title searches all over West Virginia. I wish I could find that now, so y'all could argue over the gender of Druzilla, Abrah or Dorcas.
2004-12-14 10:32:31 AM  
Oh joy. Here come the ignoramuses who believe that specific dog breeds always behave in antisocial ways.
2004-12-14 10:38:32 AM  
On a positive note, the dog gets a choice of chairs now.
2004-12-14 10:41:30 AM  
FYI - Staffies are the most populare breed in the UK, and South Africa. They're also known as the "nanny-dog" becuase of their disposition towards children.
2004-12-14 10:51:54 AM  
I am so disappointed by the lack of pictures in this thread. C'mon, visual types! We've got dogs and murder and baseball and the UK to run with.
2004-12-14 10:54:45 AM  
It caused a 5.5cm fracture of the skull and the youth died the following day from brain damage

I'm pretty sure he was brain damaged before his meeting with the bat. Oh, and his mate as well.

2004-12-14 10:57:42 AM  
Some breeds of humans will turn on you like that.
2004-12-14 11:06:37 AM  

I know a guy whose grandfather's name is Oral.

Was his last name Roberts, and did he see a 900 foot tall Jesus in Tulsa, Oklahoma?
2004-12-14 11:17:01 AM  

2004-12-14 09:41:19 AM laworderstuff

Pitbulls are some of the sweetest puppies of them all!

Their paws smell like gingersnaps.

Please. This thread is gay enough already.
2004-12-14 11:28:43 AM  
What about the name Lovie?? As in Lovie Smith coach of da Bears. A name is just a name. No one is right, no one is wrong on this one. This European vs American flame war holds no water for either side. Go back to soccer vs football flame wars. But again those are both just names which happen to both be accetable depending where you live.

Get over it, move on, nothing left to fight over on this topic.
2004-12-14 11:41:39 AM  
Awww ease up. Boys will be boys, plus the dog LOVED that chair. Why should that asshat have a right to sit in the dogs chair? good riddance you dog chair taker!
2004-12-14 11:48:22 AM  

Some breeds of humans will turn on you like that.

Like chavs, attractive and successful Caucasian-Americans, and politicians?
2004-12-14 11:57:51 AM  
I think we're all missing the point. He was sitting in the dog's chair...
2004-12-14 12:19:43 PM  
I'm from the South....Georgia specifically, and I am well aware that Ashley is is boys name. A very nice boys name at that. But I don't have any Billy Bob Sue's in my family, but there are a bunch of bible names like Josiah, Madonna, Gabriel, and I think there is a Methusala in there somewhere......just kidding. Yes I do have a relative named Madonna though. And as far as the guy killing his friend goes, he shouldn't have threatened to kick his friend's dog, I'd beat someone with a baseball bat if they threatened my pup too!
2004-12-14 12:20:17 PM  
Did anyone notice the advertisement for insurance on the right side of the site? The company is called HISCOX. I smell a photoshop contest, and really bad inuendo jokes.
2004-12-14 12:22:10 PM  
Headline "Man chooses biatch over best friend." Oh wait, that isn't news...
2004-12-14 12:35:58 PM  
This deserves the Hero tag. I can see the scary if it was a cat's favorite chair. I mean come on...
2004-12-14 12:41:01 PM  
After reading most of the thread, I'm surprised. First, I went to school with two Ashleys. On guy, one girl. And how many people here would really look down on a male Ashley if, say, he had a fistful of boomstick?

Second. Your dog really wanted that couch?

2004-12-14 12:45:14 PM  
Question: If it was the dog's chair, why didn't the guy let the dog kick the farker out of it? I, for one, will not be doing battle with a Pit Bull over a chair anytime soon. I like my balls attached.
2004-12-14 12:47:17 PM  
Elvis Nixon: Heck yeah!

My daddy left home when I was three And he didn't leave much to ma and me Just this old guitar and an empty bottle of booze. Now, I don't blame him cause he run and hid But the meanest thing that he ever did Was before he left, he went and named me ``Sue."

Well, he must o' thought that is was quite a joke And it got a lot of laughs from a' lots of folk, It seems I had to fight my whole life through. Some gal would giggle and I'd get red And some guy'd laugh and I'd bust his head, I tell ya, life ain't easy for a boy named ``Sue.''

Well, I grew up quick and I grew up mean, My fist got hard and my wits got keen, I'd roam from town to town to hide my shame. But I made me a vow to the moon and stars That I'd search the honky-tonks and bars And kill that man that give me that awful name.

Well, it was Gatlinburg in mid-July And I just hit town and my throat was dry, I thought I'd stop and have myself a brew. At an old saloon on a street of mud, There at a table, dealing stud, Sat the dirty, mangy dog that named me ``Sue.''

Well, I knew that snake was my own sweet dad from a worn-out picture that my mother'd had, And I knew that scar on his cheek and his evil eye. He was big and bent and gray and old, And I looked at him and my blood ran cold And I said: ``My name is `Sue!' How do you do! Now you gonna die!!''

Well, I hit him hard right between the eyes And he went down but, to my surprise, He come up with a knife and cut off a piece of my ear. But I busted a chair right across his teeth And we crashed through the wall and into the street Kicking and a' gouging in the mud and the blood and the beer.

I tell ya, I've fought tougher men But I really can't remember when, He kicked like a mule and he bit like a crocodile. I heard him laugh and then I heard him cuss, He went for his gun and I pulled mine first, He stood there lookin' at me and I saw him smile.

And he said: ``Son, this world is rough And if a man's gonna make it, he's gotta be tough And I know I wouldn't be there to help ya along. So I give ya that name and I said goodbye I knew you'd have to get tough or die And it's that name that helped to make you strong.''

He said: ``Now you just fought one hell of a fight And I know you hate me, and you got the right To kill me now, and I wouldn't blame you if you do. But ya ought to thank me, before I die, For the gravel in ya guts and the spit in ya eye Cause I'm the son-of-a-biatch that named you `Sue.'''

I got all choked up and I threw down my gun And I called him my pa, and he called me his son, And I come away with a different point of view. And I think about him, now and then, Every time I try and every time I win, And if I ever have a son, I think I'm gonna name him...

Bill or George! Anything but Sue! I still hate that name!
2004-12-14 12:53:37 PM  
"This is my boomstick!"
"Any one of you so much as say that Ashley isn't a man's name again, and I'll..."

[image from too old to be available]

/Ashley is a man's name, even in the U.S.A.
2004-12-14 12:59:47 PM  
Citizen R. Kane

Question: If it was the dog's chair, why didn't the guy let the dog kick the farker out of it? I, for one, will not be doing battle with a Pit Bull over a chair anytime soon. I like my balls attached.

It's a bull terrier not a pit bull, big difference between the two.
2004-12-14 01:02:32 PM  
I've known Ashleys and Leslies of both genders...

Don't really care.
My sister named one of our female cats "Bruce".
2004-12-14 01:03:19 PM  
SunCrushr you may now take solace in the face that you are apparently the only farker let "with a clue".
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