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(Star Tribune)   Student granted lifetime supply of Arby's curly fries   (startribune.com) divider line 64
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9520 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Feb 2002 at 3:20 PM (12 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2002-02-28 03:22:31 PM
Great, welcome to the world of obesity kid. Grab a Lazy-boy and unbuckle your belt.
 
2002-02-28 03:22:40 PM
Some people have all the luck...
 
2002-02-28 03:23:29 PM
I'm gonna try that with a few breweries. Free beer for life sounds schweet
 
2002-02-28 03:23:32 PM
Arby's?

Who the fark eats at Arby's?
 
2002-02-28 03:23:56 PM
What a lucky son of a biatch!
 
OBB
2002-02-28 03:24:17 PM
Why couldn't I get assignments like that when I was but a lad... [sigh]
 
2002-02-28 03:24:56 PM

"I'm so hungry I
could eat at Arby's"
 
2002-02-28 03:26:11 PM
My letter started out, "Dear Miss Tyra Banks,"

I can't understand why I never heard back.
 
2002-02-28 03:26:23 PM
wonder if the Horsey Sauce comes free too
 
2002-02-28 03:26:50 PM
400 pounds later...
 
2002-02-28 03:28:09 PM
I have to get on that band wagon........

is a hummer a day for life to much to ask for???
 
2002-02-28 03:28:21 PM
What the hell? That's all she had to do? She just walked in and said "I want a lifetime supply of curly fries?" No gun, no bomb, no political favors? I don't believe this for a second.
 
2002-02-28 03:28:25 PM
Someone at Arby's did the Free Publicity versus cost math.

On the one hand, she's in 5th grade and "life" is a long time. On the other hand, if she eats curly fries every day, the "life" number goes way down.
 
2002-02-28 03:28:29 PM
NO, not a third. I read Fark to get away from this rag.
Please Drew stop the bleeding!
 
2002-02-28 03:28:41 PM
I wonder if that would work with my dealer.
 
2002-02-28 03:30:31 PM
But some requests are just too unrealistic, Pyper said. One student wrote to a sixth-grade teacher at the school, asking - unsuccessfully - to be excused from homework next year

That is too funny. How bout a hero tag for this kid?
 
2002-02-28 03:31:22 PM
Dr. Doc Johnson,

I am a student at Davy Crockett Junior High in Midland, TX. We are writing letters to companies for a class project for our teacher, Miss DeMeenor.

For my project I was wondering if you could send me six (6) of you longest, thickest dildos. One with a vibrator and one with a G-spot attachment would be nice.

Thank you,

Jenna Bush
 
2002-02-28 03:31:28 PM
I love those fries.
 
2002-02-28 03:35:18 PM
"Dear Marilyn Chambers....."
 
2002-02-28 03:39:35 PM
Dear Guinness...
 
2002-02-28 03:40:31 PM
Dear Hugh Hefner,

We at FARK love boobies very much. Probably almost as much as you do. Drew gave us a homework assignment today and we are supposed to ask for something rediculous. So I decided to write and ask you for a night at the mansion for all us FARKERS? Please???

-matzug
 
2002-02-28 03:41:33 PM
this should have gotta a spiffy tag.
 
2002-02-28 03:42:34 PM
this should have gotta gotten a spiffy tag.
gotta remember to read for typos
 
2002-02-28 03:43:54 PM
El Bulbil Emir: Damn! Beat me to it. If she did order up some dildos, I'd be the 1st to knock on her door when she turned 18. That is unless 16 or 17 is legal in Michigan.
 
2002-02-28 03:46:24 PM
heart attack within five years.


Dear Department of Treasury,
...
 
2002-02-28 03:46:55 PM
Dang, I'm gonna write Tom Dasshole and ask him to act in the best interest of the Nation.

Who knows, perhaps that outrageous request will be answered....
 
2002-02-28 03:50:55 PM
A BJ a day for life.

(That would make a good start for an updated version of the "Contract with America.")
 
2002-02-28 03:51:03 PM
I'll admit they have good curlies, but I was a bit freaked the time I "Giant-sized" my combo and came upon one curly fry that, when uncurled measured over 4 feet in length.
 
2002-02-28 03:51:05 PM
Dear Mr. President,

Legalize Pot.

Sincerely,
CandyPink
 
2002-02-28 03:51:16 PM
Dear Gary Coleman,

I have always wanted a washed-up, has-been, midget butler. I can pay you in curly fries...
 
2002-02-28 03:54:58 PM
I'm with ya, Texaggie.

Dear President Bush,

Stop being such a farking dumbass. I know it's absurd...
 
2002-02-28 03:59:09 PM
CandyPink: well done!
 
2002-02-28 04:02:57 PM
nyuk nyuk nyuk
 
2002-02-28 04:03:14 PM



I love them fries!
 
2002-02-28 04:06:53 PM
Ahem....
(to the tune of the subway ad)

Her name is Shermak,
Kate Shermak
She's a ten year old
with a heart of gold
and cholesorol that's up four-fold
Arby's.. French fries.

:o)
 
2002-02-28 04:08:09 PM
Thanks for looking out for all of us, Matzug!
 
2002-02-28 04:09:35 PM
cholesorol = cholestorol.
 
2002-02-28 04:12:15 PM
All I want is a nicely packaged, young shaved poonanny at my beck and call, 24 hours a day.
 
2002-02-28 04:13:04 PM
They are good fries though
 
2002-02-28 04:15:07 PM
Dear Boston Red Sox, can you please win a World Series.
Dear Toronto Maple Leafs, can you please win a Stanley Cup.
Dear Buffalo Bills....

The fries are damn good.
 
2002-02-28 04:15:34 PM
um....the HERO tag?? i dont know how to do it damnit...some day...
 
2002-02-28 04:15:53 PM
SpaceMoose,
Can I share him with you? That's actually one of my dreams too.
 
2002-02-28 04:20:44 PM
Dear Chaisy Lain...
 
sos
2002-02-28 04:26:40 PM
Puckhead, that was awesome.
 
2002-02-28 04:31:18 PM
Arby's should put this girl in their commercials to counter stupid Subway's Jared. "By eating Arby's curly fries, sleeping twelve hours a day, and spending the other twelve posting on Fark.com, I've gained 2200 pounds! It's in the Guinness Book of World Records! Thank you Arby's!"

Seriously, though, those fries aren't bad.
 
2002-02-28 04:45:15 PM
SOS - thanks
sometimes inspiration strikes.
 
2002-02-28 04:50:24 PM
Dear Jenna Jameson....
 
2002-02-28 04:55:29 PM
mines well just goto the startribune today :P
 
2002-02-28 05:31:57 PM
Hmmm ...

Dear Fort Knox ...
 
2002-02-28 05:49:44 PM
Why didn't I think of that? They have about the best fries out there. I want fries too!
 
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