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(ESPN)   Showing sudden interest in wife's feelings, Kobe Bryant threatens to go postal on Mailman   ( divider line
    More: Ironic  
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21735 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Dec 2004 at 12:51 AM (13 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2004-12-13 01:51:55 AM  
2004-12-13 01:52:18 AM  
[image from too old to be available]

/been waiting for an excuse to you this
2004-12-13 01:53:26 AM  
I feel sorry for Kobe. Imagine how you would feel if you're bending the hotel maid over the couch for a (hopefully well-lubricated) surprise, only to find out that someone was hitting on your way-hot wife.

And on top of everything else, he has to show up now and then to run back and forth on a patch of hardwood floor trying to throw a ball into a basket in exchange for millions of dollars.
2004-12-13 01:55:50 AM  

No, actually, it's "hypocrisy."
I think the word you used refers to a government by hippopotamii or maybe horses.
2004-12-13 02:06:51 AM  
She just needs some white chocolate in her life..
2004-12-13 02:06:57 AM  
Vanessa Bryant was born Vanessa Cornejo Ubrieta Laine.

So she would be the little mexican girl that Karl was referring to.

[image from too old to be available]
2004-12-13 02:12:08 AM  

"Raper" isn't a word though, it's "rapist".
2004-12-13 02:15:10 AM  
Ok ok O-JEBUS KERRICKY-K. This is too stupid for words!

Look I am from around the place where this lil minx Vanessa was cattin around for whatever she could sink her talons into. Hell, she made no qualms whatsoever about what she was going to do...and she hooked Kobe like the big effin fish he was.

Fine...could have been end of story with her playing "Desperate Housewives" with Kobe's millions as he plumbs the depths of what tail is thrown at him in the towns he plays in. And the whole Laker community would have been SO OK with that because we had Kobe and Shaq being Butch and Sundance with Phil leadning the charge.


Word comes down that suddenly Kobe "aint respected enough"...that Kobe's wife has been overheard trash talking the other players by the wives (used to be this section in NBA telecasts with The Players Wives - In the Laker group it was 4 wives on a couch....and Vanessa on the other side of the room), and Phil actually tossed her rump outta the Spring practice center because she couldn't keep her trap shut.

And we lose Phil...and we lose Shaq. And suddenly Kobe is referring to the Lakers as "his team" and "his players"

Now suddenly the Mailman wants to cut a piece of Vanessa?

BULLSHIAT! Malone said it was entirely in fun, apologized to Kobe for taking it wrong, and when he heard the news story was quoted as saying "you have GOT to be kidding me"

Look Kobe is a great player but he is on a sinking ship with this chick as she is doing a Svengali act on the big dork and pumping his ego to already overly bloated proportions.

I swear to god, the Clippers are gonna erect a statue of her liposuctioned butt when she inevitably brings the Lakers to a halt.

Meanwhile, Shaq sees this crap and just LAUGHS! ARRRGHGHGHRGHGHGH!
2004-12-13 02:15:51 AM  
This is wonderful. Thank jeebus that somebody with Kobe Bryant's stature is sticking up for his wife and the sanctity of marriage.

/oy farkin' vey.
2004-12-13 02:18:11 AM  
Vanessa sure is a sexy lil biatch. Damn. and Malone is a badass, hope he comes back to play somewhere...
2004-12-13 02:25:48 AM  
Foaming: I wish Kobe would just stop talking.

Ain't that the truth. Everytime he opens his yapper, I get an image in my head of gasoline being thrown on a bonfire.
2004-12-13 02:27:59 AM  
Burn Lakers! Burn!

/Is it wrong that it feels this good?
2004-12-13 02:33:37 AM  
Kobe = Real man - class
Vanessa = slut - poverty
Basketball = rap - beats
/Yeah, I'm a bit drunk...
//Vote for me and I'll set you free
2004-12-13 02:35:28 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
2004-12-13 02:40:13 AM  
of course... nothing is ever kobe's fault. that guy is annoying as hell
2004-12-13 02:40:53 AM  
NBA has officially turned into a soap opera with a little basketball played in between
2004-12-13 03:16:35 AM  
There are three jokes in this story.

1. Malone's comments
2. Kobe's credibility
3. The Lakers
2004-12-13 03:18:34 AM  
[image from too old to be available]

[image from too old to be available]

[image from too old to be available]

[image from too old to be available]

If you were my wife, I'd massage your feet every night until you fell asleep.
2004-12-13 03:28:13 AM  
lol @ kobe's life

fark him
2004-12-13 03:30:00 AM  

Thanks for making my evening!

fwiw, if she was my wife, i would make the face kobe is making in pic #2 every time i finish hitting it.

"it's... just... soo... GOOD!"
2004-12-13 03:31:32 AM  
Fag Bryant's entire NBA life is a poor emulation of Jordan's career.
2004-12-13 03:32:18 AM  
I just have one thing to say: GO CLIPPERS!!!

You know, somewhere in Miami, Shaq is laughing his ass off!

Ok, so that's two things. No wait, that's three. Uh, nevermind!
2004-12-13 03:42:49 AM  
let me tell you, she has some meat curtains fit for broadway
2004-12-13 03:51:25 AM  
I bet she has an AMAZING hoo-haa.
2004-12-13 04:16:27 AM  
i love BEER STEAK's third pic - who the hell goes out in public wearing a shirt that says "motherfarker" on it? come on, pretend to have a little bit of class. i know she doesn't have it, but i'd like her to fake it for a little bit, for the sake of the 5 year olds at the game.
2004-12-13 04:25:39 AM  
Poor little J-Lo wannabe don't like Karl Malone wanting to hit her from the three-point line?

No wonder Kobe was laying the pipe in Colorado...
2004-12-13 04:28:17 AM  
well, here's where she got the t-shirt:

the store

they even have a page dedicated to her:


for mens tees, they don't sell anything bigger than an L... i guess anyone bigger is not fashionable. whatever.
2004-12-13 04:29:14 AM  
hmm. wouldn't let me post the link... here it is:


press page (with vanessa)
2004-12-13 04:29:56 AM  
last one, i promise... change farker to... well, you know.
2004-12-13 05:09:12 AM  
The burning question left unanswered: Why WAS Carl Malone "wearing a cowboy hat and boots"?
2004-12-13 05:27:23 AM  
What a scumbag.
2004-12-13 05:29:46 AM  
Okay, how come no picture of Jimmy Kimmel/Karl Malone yet?
2004-12-13 07:32:18 AM  
"Karl Malone would like to have sex with Kobe's wife...Not to sell her, but to buy her...Beanie Beyotch!"

/Also thought of Kimmel and Crank Yankers when I read the headline
2004-12-13 08:56:16 AM  
Such tasteful interesting motherfarkers all around. I can just hear her Chicana ass screamin and shiat at Kobe to go kill dat motherfarker Malone or she'll get her 14 brothers to stab his ass, esse.
2004-12-13 09:05:11 AM  
Dear Kobe,

Shut up you whiny biatch.

Your Mailman
2004-12-13 09:15:31 AM  
"Vanessa was on the cell phone talking to Karl's wife, Kaye,...

Just like a woman to be on her cell phone during a sporting event.
2004-12-13 09:20:46 AM  
[image from too old to be available]

"Karl Malone's tellin' you Kobe! She was all over Karl Malone! What was Karl Malone supposed to do? You tell Karl Malone!"
2004-12-13 09:29:47 AM  
She's about the hottest woman I've ever seen, but in a Venus Fly Trap sort of way.
2004-12-13 09:53:59 AM  
I am not a basketball fan, but this year, I am definately pulling for the Lakers to lose out big. They basically put all their loyalty into, at best, a complete scumbag and, at worst, a rapist. Kobe is a piece of trash, and his wife is a moneygrubbing dumbass for staying with him. I guess they deserve each other. And I don't care how hot she is (she is definately hot), I would certainely NOT hit it.
2004-12-13 09:57:00 AM  
Man, Kobe needs to just disappear. And on his way, drop her off at my house. I can't be a sugar daddy, too poor. I'll volunteer to be her Nutri-sweet daddy!! WOHOO!!

Sup with the spell check dude? This is FARK! We don't care bout no stinkin proper spellin' and English here!

/Duffman is jockeying for the next BuckNaked moran position...
2004-12-13 10:07:42 AM  
Kobe wont be happy until he is the only person left on the lakers. What a retard.

Still, he is one of the best individual players in the game, and he has one AMAZING looking wife. Please God let her do playboy one day!
2004-12-13 10:16:27 AM  
She was more pissed at being pwned as a little Mexican girl than anything else. But of course, the lady's dubious "honor" must be defended. It's not like she's a gold-digging ho or anything.

Mailman, buy her a gold chain or somethin', all will be forgiven.
2004-12-13 10:17:49 AM  
This story is BS. Comments were in jest and nothing more than what had previously been said amongst the 2 couples. Kobe blew his stack because he is a NUTBAG!!! Grade A, certifiable loony. Trust me.
2004-12-13 10:25:09 AM  
[image from too old to be available]

"Kid, you don't do sh*t like that, y'hear? Yo, dawg...are you listenin' to me? Jack and Dyan will forgive you, no doubt, but your wife ain't. Man, that's sh*t in Colorado was wrong. KOBE! I'm talkin' to you! There wax in your ears, kid?"

2004-12-13 10:32:54 AM  
i love BEER STEAK's third pic - who the hell goes out in public wearing a shirt that says "motherfarker" on it? come on, pretend to have a little bit of class. i know she doesn't have it, but i'd like her to fake it for a little bit, for the sake of the 5 year olds at the game.

Amen to that. Very tacky of her.

She was more pissed at being pwned as a little Mexican girl than anything else.

I know very little about Mrs. Bryant, but somehow, this seems like a plausible explanation.
2004-12-13 10:41:44 AM  
old and busted:
kobe, malone, and the lakers.

new hotness:
amare, marion, and the suns

If you want to enjoy watching the nba again, look for the upcoming suns-sonics game.
2004-12-13 10:46:00 AM  
What a P.R nightmare about to happen in the coming months.

Christmas day Kobe vs Shaq !
2004-12-13 10:46:49 AM  
Kobe's an asshat who won't be satisfied until the world revolves around him.

Have fun during your next 10 years of mediocrity, Laker fans.
2004-12-13 10:58:22 AM  
I love the image of Karl Malone dressed up like a cowboy. It reminds me of once hearing Charles Barkley refer to Malone as the worlds only black redneck.

Does anyone else love how Malone always refers to himself in the third person? Kind of like Bob Dole.
2004-12-13 11:05:23 AM  
Bla, bla, bla... Kobe whines and whines... bla, bla, bla...

I'm so sick of this idiot. He's become the Paris Hilton of basketball.
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