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(Yahoo)   O Penis Tree, O Penis Tree. You give Tuscans so much pleasure   (story.news.yahoo.com) divider line 55
    More: Spiffy  
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24467 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Dec 2004 at 9:43 AM (10 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2004-12-08 09:45:31 AM  
They like the low-hanging fruit.
 
2004-12-08 09:45:38 AM  
boobies?
 
2004-12-08 09:46:09 AM  
I wish vaginas grew on trees
 
2004-12-08 09:46:48 AM  
Be careful with that penis! They don't grow on trees, you know!
 
2004-12-08 09:46:54 AM  
The Nim Elf

I wish vaginas grew on trees

One word.

Splinters.
 
2004-12-08 09:47:02 AM  
Iwearsocksforu

More like "Wieners"
 
2004-12-08 09:47:38 AM  


For the "didn't RTFA" crowd.
 
2004-12-08 09:48:40 AM  
was it done by HR Geiger?
 
2004-12-08 09:48:54 AM  
Iwearsocksforu

No, not boobies, wieners. Next time read the article, or the FArQ.
 
2004-12-08 09:49:10 AM  
schezar

One word.

Splinters.


I'll take my chances. As the late Rodney Dangerfield said, "Hey everybody, we're all gonna get laid!"
 
2004-12-08 09:49:21 AM  
Mine is the BIG one.
 
2004-12-08 09:49:32 AM  
 
2004-12-08 09:50:54 AM  
Only Scanned TFA, so this was some sort of political flamebait PS? (Or sould I say ArtShop)
 
2004-12-08 09:52:32 AM  
twig, branch, trunk, or root?
 
2004-12-08 09:52:44 AM  
Ah, the beauty of pre-internet porn.
 
2004-12-08 09:52:55 AM  
I knew a girl with one of these, she was very hard to please.

even when down on my knees...
 
2004-12-08 09:53:18 AM  
Am I the only one who doesn't really see the penii?
 
2004-12-08 09:53:19 AM  
dammit loki see loki do you beat me to it.

Why the *Spiffy* Tag ?
 
2004-12-08 09:53:51 AM  


The more modern Tuscans give you one hell of a penis extension.
 
2004-12-08 09:54:04 AM  
Shouldn't this story have the [Stiffy] tag?
 
2004-12-08 09:54:19 AM  
Cue the wood jokes in 3....2...1...


/shudders @ idea of pruning the tree
 
2004-12-08 09:54:44 AM  
the_gospel_of_thomas

Why the *Spiffy* Tag ?

The submitter misread as *Stiffy*
 
2004-12-08 09:54:51 AM  
"Until now, it was assumed the phallus tree was a fertility symbol because it stands by a fountain -- the town's main source of water in medieval times."

I don't think I'd want that many dongs close to my water supply.
 
2004-12-08 09:55:12 AM  
Luckily for us Americans the FCC will be on this quickly and save us from this centuries old smut.

What would my children think if they saw a penis tree...
 
2004-12-08 09:55:29 AM  
The Nim Elf

I wish vaginas grew on trees

You obviously never looked:

 
2004-12-08 09:55:38 AM  
mhesseltine

beat me be 40 seconds. good show
 
2004-12-08 09:57:55 AM  
Adman12

Oooooh! Hot tree-gina action!
 
2004-12-08 09:58:45 AM  
Adman12

In the time it took that picture to load I could have grown a tree with vaginas.
 
2004-12-08 09:58:49 AM  
There once was a great Tuscan tree,
Twas covered with wieners, you see.
It's quite large to boot,
And you can't pick the fruit,
But you can suck the sap out for free.
 
2004-12-08 10:00:11 AM  
the_gospel_of_thomas: Why the *Spiffy* Tag ?

Actually, I submitted it w/ an interesting tag. I imagine that I've got some kind of insecurity or something preventing me from using the 'weeners' tag. Oh well, at least I got something approved...
 
2004-12-08 10:00:14 AM  
Somebody got a better picture? I don't see the said peni.
 
2004-12-08 10:00:20 AM  
Stunt_Cock! wins the thread.
 
2004-12-08 10:00:44 AM  
2004-12-08 09:58:49 AM Stunt_Cock!

Bravo! I bow to your superior limrick-writing ability

 
2004-12-08 10:00:49 AM  
Jaboobinator: That was the best I could find on a GIS for "erotic tree" (I didn't want to GIS "tree vagina" at work!) However, I'm sure I've seen a million burls that looked decidedly cooter-like. Not that Entwives are my thing, mind you.
 
lbn
2004-12-08 10:03:19 AM  
That must be where the infamous Penis Bird lives.
 
2004-12-08 10:05:16 AM  
Pinocchio was having problems with his girlfriend so he went to Geppetto for help. "My girl loves sex, but she hates the splinters", he says. Geppetto tells him, "what you need to do is get some sandpaper and smooth yourself out. Start with a large grain and work your way down".

A week later, Geppetto sees Pinocchio in the coffee shop and asks him how things with his girlfriend are going.

"Girlfriend?", says Pinocchio.
 
2004-12-08 10:10:52 AM  
"There was a well-known story in Tuscan folklore about witches removing men's' penises and placing them in bird nests in trees, where they would then multiply and take on a life of their own," Ferzoco said.

Said tale was crafted by teenage mediaeval Tuscan housewives to explain to their older merchant husbands, who were often away of business for months at a time, how it was that they came to become incinta during their spouses' absences.

However, it did little to explain why all the babies came out looking like Giovanni Boccaccio.
 
2004-12-08 10:12:11 AM  
"There was a well-known story in Tuscan folklore about witches removing men's' penises and placing them in bird nests in trees, where they would then multiply and take on a life of their own," Ferzoco said.

Life of their own? They already have minds of their own.

/buh dum chhh
 
2004-12-08 10:15:51 AM  
"There was a well-known story in Tuscan folklore about witches removing men's' penises and placing them in bird nests in trees, where they would then multiply and take on a life of their own," Ferzoco said.

Such trees came to be called Bobbit trees.
 
2004-12-08 10:22:25 AM  
""They presented themselves as the clean living upstanding party in Tuscan politics and it was traditional for them, in launching their attacks on the Ghibellines, to label them as heretics," Ferzoco told Reuters."

Eerily mirrors current politics in the U.S.
 
2004-12-08 10:31:26 AM  
Mr. Clarence Butterworth

I don't get it . . .
 
2004-12-08 10:33:43 AM  
<jim_fowler> The penis tree is the native habitat of the dickeybird. </jim_fowler>

 
2004-12-08 10:43:59 AM  
The tree with circled Johnsons...

http://www.theage.com.au/news/Arts/The-penis-tree/2004/12/07/1102182260709.htm l
 
2004-12-08 11:15:18 AM  
I know this is a bit off subject, but I was debating between putting this in the thread where people might actually understand it or the thread that inspired it (TF: Love expert fingered over breast fondling quackery). Anyways, here it goes:

C'era un uomo Giovanni,
che faceva magico coi mani,
potebbe far' pieno,
il picollo seno,
col moto di fare i pani!
 
2004-12-08 11:23:20 AM  
"There was a well-known story in Tuscan folklore about witches removing men's' penises and placing them in bird nests in trees, where they would then multiply and take on a life of their own," Ferzoco said.

Now we know where lawyers come from...
 
2004-12-08 11:59:16 AM  
znfinger:

I was debating between putting this in the thread where people might actually understand it


What the hell makes you think we americans can understand that crazy gookspeak?
 
2004-12-08 12:18:31 PM  
Gookspeak?

Anyways, for the non-polyglotic, my drive to work today gave me time to come up with a decent translation. Note that the name is changed because I couldn't get the meter to work using John or any permutations thereof.

There once was a man named Goshen
whose hands were like magical potion
he could make your breasts
the biggest and best,
with the usual breadmaking motion.
 
2004-12-08 12:28:02 PM  
 
2004-12-08 12:36:38 PM  
Fortunately, you can't take the country out of Salem.
/ old fart
// not quite that old though
// playlist: Rush - The Trees
 
2004-12-08 01:25:58 PM  
"Actually, I submitted it w/ an interesting tag ..."

there ya go, Steve Dallas

good work, man.
 
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