Starting His Career

Fresh out of the Army, 21 year old Bernard provided security for the construction of a large military base Saudi Arabia. There he honed his know-how in international police work, investigations and terrorism and also worked for the Royal Saudi family. "I think I left Saudi Arabia with a different sense of internal pride, with a sense of honor and integrity that I didn't know and understand before I got there."

Ahhh, so he is an oil man. Ok, then.

i know there's a racial profiling joke somewhere in here, but i can't find it.

He looks like Bob Boudelang

::Tries to think of White Trash that voted for Kerry::

::Fails!::

Face Facts!

Republicans are all a bunch of hicks!
Yes indeed! Whoa! Easy with that Budweiser!
Hold that burning cross, my friend!
It's not fault!

Blame your daddy! He beat you senseless as a child and forever instilled your sense of punitive social values!

Awwwwww...look at 'em get all pissed off...cute.

FACE FACTS!

"I AM Kerik!"
/sorry, first thing I thought of. ;)

My bet is on Trogdor. He comes in the night.

Kerik's the right man for the job. Good choice.

Well, Kerik has sure done a bang-up job getting that Iraqi police force in shape. When do we begin withdrawing?

Regardless of his qualifications (or lack thereof), his responsibilities can't be that broad, since there is no election coming where he'll need to raise terror alert levels to distract the public from other news stories.

The sky is falling and the end is near.

Seriously though, I wonder if Kerik is willing to play the fallguy for W when the next breach of homeland security occurs. Side note: when did America become the homeland?

I submitted this 2 days ago with "And then Trogdor smote the Kerik, and all was lain to burnination"

/had nothing

HE REMINDS ME OF MR NOODLE

Sigh.. I GISed for a while, and I didn't get anything even remotely funny. Sure, a furry down deep in the results, and some pictures of people's dogs..

Why couldn't a porn star be named Kerik? I could have made a trite joke!

berylman

Quick definitions (Homeland)

# noun: the country where you were born

It depends where you're from... it's ALWAYS been my homeland.

Thanks onelook.com!

tarrant84:

If the GOP is competitive in 2008 in NY, it means the Democrats have to campaign in a state they normally win

Yeah, I think that'll happen right around the time that a Democratic candidate is competitive in Texas.

Seriously, Kerry won NYC by 3:1, and over 80% in Manhattan. And Kerry wasn't even a great candidate.

The GOP is not going to be competing for New York anytime in the near future. The only way they'd have a prayer of doing so is by taking a hard U-turn back toward the center. At least get somewhere in the vicinity of moderate.

crossbuster: It's "laid to burnination."

2004-12-03 10:23:40 AM Aikonik


I read Kerik's autobiog, and wow, he is someone us kids should look up to

talk to anyone who worked under him while he was commish of the NYC Dept of Correction if you want to know the truth about him. Corruption and deceipt during his whole tenure. The guy's an ass.

Realize that Kerik's background is in the management of Rikers Island and in the New York City jail system as well as being the former New York City Police Commissioner and now senior police advisor to Iraq's Interior Ministry.

To me, the choice of Kerik reflects the fact that this administration wants to run the entire nation as a prison/police state, because they distrust the population/democracy itself. If the majority of our real terror threats come from abroad why does he not appoint a person more versed in matters of security intelligence instead of the background of police and prisons.
Other than manipulating public emotion with the color coded terror alerts, what in the heck has the DHS done for us in the past 2 years? All in all, Kerik is competent and should be a step up from Ridge at least.

Brownpau:
Whoah....the series of expressions on Bush is too much. Its like he didnt move at all from the Rice to Gonzales photos.

Kerick / Kerry ?

Oh yeah, turd blossom.

Kerick / Kerry ?

hmmmm

Kerick / Kerry?

Almost a Freudian slip.

berylman:

Whoah....the series of expressions on Bush is too much. Its like he didnt move at all from the Rice to Gonzales photos.

Actually his eyebrows go up for the Kerik photo. He's so dynamic!

bersl2

Dammit, I always mess up quotes.

Berylman...

To me, the choice of Kerik reflects the fact that this administration wants to run the entire nation as a prison/police state, because they distrust the population/democracy itself.

So the selection of John Kerry, a former prosecutor, would have indicated the electorate's desire to see everyone treated as criminals?

Kerik's business is security. Now he's going to be Secretary of Homeland Security. Get it? See how he has experience in the area?

prosecutors seek justice, not convictions. that goes double for liberal minded people like kerry. if kerry were in charge, he'd be more likely to run a just organization than to continue locking people away w/o asking questions.

Hmm...Everything seems to be screaming police state now, especially in New York...interesting

/Plissken... I heard you were dead!

scratchee

the SAVAK and the KGB jobs was secuirty as well? Should they be invited as well?

Following this train of thought, the 51% who voted for Bush would like to see the country run like a failed oil company.

Two days of Kerik jokes being submitted and this is the one that makes it?

Great a high school dropout is in charge of security for our whole country. Good to see they haven't learned anything from the TSA lackeys.

Republican pandering in its purest form.

HIS COUSIN'S UNCLE'S GIRLFRIEND'S COLLEGE ROOMMATE WORKED FOR HALIBURTON!!!!!! BUSH IS APPOINTING ALL CORPORATE CRONIES!!!!

/average lefty

Chipper2
My bet is on Trogdor. He comes in the night.

Who doesn't? It happens to a lot of guys when they hit puberty.

HEY LET'S ALL TRY AND MAKE FUN OF SOMEONES POLITICAL VIEWS TO DISTRACT THE REAL DISCUSSION!

/average righty
:)

/from
might have been on purpose...

C'mon people! Why the heck can't we just support the guy?
He certainly seems qualified enough. Enough biatching!

Seems ok enough. Can't be any less effective than Tom Ridge was.

Awesome headline?

Sorry, no.

Obvious headline.

Any self-respecting Strong Bad e-mail reader recognized the potential of Bush's appointment the second the story hit the wire.

"Humm I would worry about his chuminess with the Saudies
Royal Family"
Explains a lot , doesnt it?
Crown Prince Abdullah likes his hand puppets, but the one in the White House is still his favorite.

and all was laid to burnination

Hmm, I agree with Roger_the_Shrubber. I saw this on Wonkette and raced over to Fark to see the headline.

Who's Rather Dashing? John Edwards? He'd look cute in those little short peasant pants.

Bernard Kerik is a true American Patriot. He will do everthing humanly possible to protect the Homeland from terrorists, as long as the Democrats let him. This reaffirms my faith in the DHS and GWB, and shows yet again that God continues to bless America.

/the FBI is monitoring chatrooms

And Trogdor smote the Kerrek. And all was laid to burnination.

wickedMule wins the thread

He got this position because he did such a fantastic job training the iraqi police. 16 more of them blew up today.

If Trogdor has his way, we're gonna need a new Secretary of Homeland Security pretty soon....gotta watch out for them dragons...

Actually, I see this as a bid by our brave saudi-american president to give something back to all of those true believers that supported him.

The message don't pick up the dropped soap comes to mind.

I am wondering though about all of the paranoid types wondering that the USA will become a police state, that would require a sociopathic way of thinking from our current leader.

A leader who fails to see the results of his actions, as Heinlein's character, Nehemia Scudder, will not have many good enduring memories. A leader who would bring us into a theocratic tyranny would probably be reviled at some future time.

Now Bush does say he talks to God on occasion and God seems to answer him, much as God talked to that Texas woman Andria Yates a few years back. (God seems to have a thing for killing lately, ya think?)

Even Bush, a person who might be carrying the scars of early expermentationalism in his brain cells, is not retarded enough to make this religious prison america fun land.

I will only worry when it becomes God's homeland security.