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(   Tom Cruise gets braces   ( divider line
    More: Spiffy  
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8719 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Feb 2002 at 4:59 PM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

53 Comments     (+0 »)

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2002-02-25 05:01:02 PM  
Hope the Scientologist workouts don't fry his teeth. Bwahahahahahahah.
2002-02-25 05:04:22 PM  
Tooth Thetans are responcible!
2002-02-25 05:05:11 PM  
Bj jokes in 3.....2....1.....
2002-02-25 05:06:07 PM  
He should be in a remake of Bowfinger.
2002-02-25 05:08:16 PM  
So people who have MILLIONS upon MILLIONS still have to get braces? Don't they have magic rich people teeth straightening yet? I am so dissalusioned now.
2002-02-25 05:08:39 PM  
Neat little scientology snipit at the end of the aticle.
2002-02-25 05:08:54 PM  
Won't his gay lovers be upset about this?

What do you call a black hooker with braces?

A black and decker pecker wrecker.
2002-02-25 05:09:10 PM  
Yup, that's newsworthy, thanks FARK.

In other news, Timothy Dalton took a whiz today. Whoopity-doo!
2002-02-25 05:11:26 PM  
For the life of me, I can't remember the last GOOD movie that he was in.
2002-02-25 05:12:02 PM  
Clarkins: thank you for that walk down memory lane.

Dentist:"Mr. Cruise, if your head keeps getting bigger all the teeth in China won't do the job."
ennh. I should have quit while I was a head.
2002-02-25 05:12:23 PM  
This article is more of a mini-biography than about Tom Cruise's teeth. I like how it ends with that he is a member of the Church of Scientology.

Anyway, why get braces? He is rich, he should have gotten Invisalign. I would like to get that if I had the money, which he obviously does.
2002-02-25 05:16:51 PM  
Eggyolk: I don't believe it says what type he got, so he could have gotten those. However, from what I've read (not much, so I don't know), Invisalign's can't be used for all the different types of corrections, so that's possible too.
2002-02-25 05:17:12 PM  
Quote of the day: "He is also a member of the Church of Scientology."
2002-02-25 05:17:38 PM  
nice link on the page to how he visited Germany to lobby for Scientology. "Tom Cruise's "Vanilla Sky" is cloudy in Germany -- but with the help of a U.S. ambassador, he hopes to clear things up."
2002-02-25 05:17:56 PM  
It's a real damn shame. Scientology controls Tom Cruise. After handling all of his lawsuits and affairs you can be damn sure that they've got a ton of dirt on the guy. If he ever tried to leave them then they'd spill all the dirt on him. Blackmail, threats, intimidation. That is how the Co$ keeps it's biggest cash cows from leaving.​12371935

Join the struggle against Scientology!
2002-02-25 05:18:17 PM  
how freeking embarrasing that this is news.
mankind is crumbling
2002-02-25 05:18:40 PM  
I don't care what you guys think, he is hot! Shorter than me but hot.
2002-02-25 05:23:04 PM  
He may be "hot", but you wouldn't want to marry him. Unless, of course, the idea of worshipping a demented, bigamist, satan-worshipper (Hubbard) appeals to you. Do you know that Tom Cruise believes that Jesus was a gay pedophile? He even forfeited working a movie with Mel Gibson because Gibson told a joke about Scientology's belief that Jesus was a pedo.

"For those of you whose Christian toes I may have stepped on, let me take the opportunity to disabuse you of some lovely myths. For instance, the historic Jesus was not nearly the sainted figure he has been made out to be. In addition to being a lover of young boys and men, he was given to uncontrollable bursts of temper and hatred that belied the general message of love, understanding and other typical Marcab PR. You have only to look at the history his teachings inspired to see where it all inevitably leads. "

- L. Ron Hubbard, OT VIII series (
2002-02-25 05:26:11 PM  
Btw, the Marcabs are an "alien race" that will invade earth and take over unless Scientology "clears" the world. Hubbard estimates that 20% of all humans will be too stubborn to clear, and that in order to make the world clear.... those too stubborn to pay a fortune to become Scientologists must be eliminated.

But Tom Cruise isn't an evil person. Rather, he has been severely brainwashed, and whatever information they have on him is too sensitive for him to dare to leave the cult.
2002-02-25 05:32:47 PM
>In addition to being a lover of young boys and men, he was given to uncontrollable bursts of temper and hatred that belied the general message of love, understanding and other typical Marcab PR.

Had you said this about Mohammed, or Buddha you'd be flamed all over the 'net for your hateful, intolerant speech. But since it was directed at Jesus, no problem, huh?
2002-02-25 05:44:47 PM  

I put quote marks ("") around what was being said to denote that it was something that somebody else had said, not something that I was saying myself. In this case, it is what had been said by L. Ron Hubbard, founder of Scientology. I disagree with his deranged beliefs completely.
2002-02-25 05:52:25 PM  
Is fark farked?
2002-02-25 06:33:06 PM  
You need to study your punctuation marks. You might want to go watch sesame street some more (look for the bit from Viktor Borge).
2002-02-25 06:37:11 PM  
with braces, he's going to shred some weeners.
2002-02-25 06:40:38 PM  
Kylie - I don't care what you guys think, he is hot! Shorter than me but hot.

Kylie's profile - I choose not to eat anything with a face.

I can tell you right now that Tom would not go for a chick who wouldn't suck him hard. The missionary position just doesn't do it for these high rollers any more.

P.S. Get a life, hippie. The hungry animals of the world would be more than happy to eat you, rough up your father, rape your mother, burn your house down, and salt the earth upon which it stood, if they had a chance.
2002-02-25 06:41:06 PM  
Personally, I think Tom Cruise is O.K.. I'm not overwhelmed by him or his life. I really don't care about his sexuality and that he is brainwashed by scientology. That is his deal. I wanna see "Minority Report" when it comes out, braces or not.
2002-02-25 06:45:17 PM  
Dang it, and I was hoping to see him with a mouth full of metal, not the wussy clear ones.
2002-02-25 06:49:31 PM  
Feffer yes fark is farked
2002-02-25 07:04:17 PM  
Farker Feffer farked a flock of fickle flappers...
2002-02-25 07:06:13 PM  
Sorry, off topic, couldn't resist...
2002-02-25 07:12:14 PM  
Hmmm, having read Dianetics (big waste of time, other than the ability to deride Scientology more eloquently), I find it interesting to note that the predictions of, L. Ron Hubbard have not come to pass. For example, couldn't Tom Cruise have just grown another set of teeth, and willed them into perfect position? Ah, but obviously he isn't clear just yet. Maybe it's because of the 7th unsuccessful abortion his mother tried with a knitting needle? Feh.
2002-02-25 07:27:42 PM  
OH MY GOD! No Photoshops???
2002-02-25 07:39:50 PM  
All Xenu asks is that you have spectacular teeth...

[image from too old to be available]

2002-02-25 07:46:14 PM  
I had to suffer through braces... I wanna know how the fark they are gonna pop 'em off and on for filming.. geez that must suck to be Tom
2002-02-25 08:01:22 PM  
AW come on of course hes getting the wimpy braces he is a wimp.
2002-02-25 08:10:12 PM  
At age 14, Cruise enrolled in a seminary to become a priest, but dropped out after one year. He decided to take up acting after losing his place on a high school wrestling team, due to a knee injury.

Wanted to be a priest and had an interest in grappling with teenage boys then went on to acting. No, Tom Cruise isn't gay.
2002-02-25 08:25:12 PM  
Should probably see something about this on SA soon. You know how Lowtax loves to make fun of scientologists. He couldn't possibly pass this one by.
2002-02-25 09:37:22 PM  
I wanna know how the fark they are gonna pop 'em off and on for filming.

Some special effects house is going to get the wonderful job of 'digital brace face removal' for the next year or two.
2002-02-25 09:46:57 PM  
OH MY GOD? No jokes about British dental care? Come on fellas, don't let down the team!

A post of "Prince" Charles smiling would do!
2002-02-25 09:50:32 PM  
were his teeth crooked?

2002-02-25 09:59:56 PM  
The last good movie he was in was Interview With The Vampire. He did so many good flicks in the first ten years...
2002-02-25 10:15:30 PM  
Holy Jeebus!!!
He got $145 MILLION for those sorry ass mission impossible flicks??? DAMN
2002-02-25 10:16:49 PM  
Who is this Enron Hubbard you guys keep talking about? I seem to have heard his name in the news lately.
2002-02-25 10:43:46 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2002-02-25 10:57:16 PM  
For those of you who want to learn a bit more about the founder of Scientology, please read this!
2002-02-25 11:14:22 PM  
This mo-fo sad.
[image from too old to be available]
2002-02-25 11:37:26 PM  
Fumb duck: I'm pretty sure he was one of the producers/executive producers on M:I 2, in which case he probably got part of the box office take, which is why that number is so big for just two films.
2002-02-26 12:26:41 AM  
Well, unlike the rest of him, at least his teeth will be straight.
2002-02-26 01:19:38 AM  
I suggest the quick and urgent implementation of a "WHO CARES" Tag. Who's with me?
2002-02-26 02:33:59 AM  
The funny thing is someone took the time to write that article. The second funniest thing is someone decided to post it.
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