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(accessatlanta)   Bert and one unhappy baby   (accessatlanta.com) divider line 79
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7832 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Feb 2002 at 4:59 PM (12 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2002-02-25 04:59:25 PM  
Original:
 
2002-02-25 05:01:11 PM  
"Hold still, I need to check your temperature!"
 
2002-02-25 05:01:53 PM  
BERT: I CLAIM HIM IN THE NAME OF SATAN!!!!
 
2002-02-25 05:02:01 PM  
"C'mon kid, take it like Ernie."
 
2002-02-25 05:02:08 PM  
Insert some Osama Bin Laden poster reference here.
 
2002-02-25 05:03:05 PM  
You sure struggle a lot more than Ernie does!


whoops
 
2002-02-25 05:04:20 PM  
"Mommy, he's poking me!"
 
2002-02-25 05:05:17 PM  
Todays' show is brought to you by the letters
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
 
2002-02-25 05:05:29 PM  
Hey you little punk, I can give you a lot more loving than those fuggin' teletubbies !
 
2002-02-25 05:06:10 PM  
"Hey Bert, why are you such a pedophile, Bert?"
 
2002-02-25 05:06:20 PM  
Looks like the kid had a look at www.bertisevil.com

That one's been taken over by the terrorists.
 
2002-02-25 05:06:44 PM  
Crap !! Him just shiat his pants !!!
 
2002-02-25 05:07:10 PM  
"Mother...I feel the dark hand of death closing its shroud about my head. Why have you foresaken me? I, who didst fill thine womb with squirming...I who didst fill thine mornings with nausea...I who will drain thine bank account for decades untold....WHhhhhyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaannnnhhh!"
*bows*
 
2002-02-25 05:07:20 PM  
Bert just told the child that workers have found broken glass, blood, feces and semen on the library floors.
 
2002-02-25 05:07:30 PM  
I'm not freakin' Santa kid, you can't have anything you want.


(sigh, I know it's lame)

Sarin
 
yuk
2002-02-25 05:10:14 PM  
Oh no that is the third kid bert has taken this week. Some one needs to stop that sick Fark
 
2002-02-25 05:11:03 PM  
"Catch Ernie!"
 
2002-02-25 05:12:31 PM  
"NO BERT! no matter what you say, incest is NOT best"
 
2002-02-25 05:13:37 PM  
His unibrow's gonna eat me!
 
2002-02-25 05:14:11 PM  
"I'm gonna f#*k you till you love me!"
 
2002-02-25 05:14:22 PM  
Unless someone releases the political prisoner Ernie right now, I will start executing the hostages!
 
2002-02-25 05:14:45 PM  
"C'mon kid sing it with me...B is for Boobies they're good enough for me...B is for Boobies.."


yes, I know
#define LAME_JOKE TRUE
 
2002-02-25 05:15:51 PM  
"But don't you want to see Uncle Bertie's 'Chia-Pet?'"
 
2002-02-25 05:16:10 PM  
C'mon, kid, let me show you what "doin' the pidgeon" is all about...
 
2002-02-25 05:16:14 PM  
(kid) Mommy, I wanted Big Bird not...BIG Bert.

(bert) I dont care what you want kid, I still get 5 bucks per photo, go ahead and cry your eyes out. heh heh

(kid) Lets see how you like this pee on your knee.

(bert) That will cost 2 more bucks. heh heh
 
2002-02-25 05:17:50 PM  
"Doin' the uh-uh Pigeon"
 
2002-02-25 05:17:52 PM  
(Considering Bert is a hand puppet, that child must be about a half an inch high.)
 
2002-02-25 05:18:00 PM  
"She's in a lot of pain, mister, she needs a vet. She broke her leg on the way down. I know it."
 
2002-02-25 05:18:20 PM  
"There there little one. Just a few seconds in the head sharpener and it will be all over."
 
2002-02-25 05:20:34 PM  
Bert: "Hey little guy, c'mon, let's sing... I love you, you love me, we're a happy.... oh shiat, wrong costume."

Yes, I know it's lame.
 
2002-02-25 05:20:36 PM  
Hmm... The kids usually dig my uni-brow.
 
2002-02-25 05:24:36 PM  
"Lady if ya want the kid back, you'll have to play with MY rubber ducky!"
 
2002-02-25 05:25:43 PM  
Aw, what's wrong? How about a joke? You want a joke? How about this one: what's more fun than nailing a dead baby to a wall? Ripping it off again!... *looking at baby's mother*... What?
 
2002-02-25 05:25:58 PM  
What? Are you to good for your home?
 
2002-02-25 05:26:17 PM  
"The one thing I've learned in my 30 years of dealing with children is that if you squeeze them hard enough, they'll scream really really loud. And then they just stop moving for some reason I haven't figured out yet."
 
2002-02-25 05:27:45 PM  
No matter how much Osama changes kids still know there is something inherently wrong with this guy.
 
2002-02-25 05:28:31 PM  
"Mommy Mommy Bert just told me I am going to have to sit through another crappy Photoshop contest I Cant take it I cant take it WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH"
 
2002-02-25 05:31:06 PM  
America's synchronized pederasty team sees the score from the French judge
 
2002-02-25 05:32:32 PM  
"You may have survived the heart surgery, punk, but this is a whole new ride!"
 
2002-02-25 05:33:04 PM  
Coming to theaters this summer.... The Amazing Colossal Bert!! Bathed in radiation, an innocent puppet mutates into a 7 foot high unibrowed monstrosity, and must satisfy its appitite for... BABY FLESH!! (bum bum BAAA!!) Jimmy Smits.
 
2002-02-25 05:37:34 PM  
"la la la la lump in my pants"
 
2002-02-25 05:51:36 PM  
One more comment about your Uncle Bert's eyebrow and you'll never see you Mommy again!
 
2002-02-25 06:15:21 PM  


It's "Jim Henson's Dragonball-babies Z!"
 
2002-02-25 06:16:12 PM  
Mommy.!!!... Mommy!!!... MMOOMMMMMMYYYYYYYYY!!! (I get that biatch for this)
 
2002-02-25 06:17:29 PM  
"Mommy, I don't wanna go to Browntown!"
 
2002-02-25 06:21:07 PM  
Bert's progress at his weekly Gay Parenting Support Group continues to move along slowly as junior, once again, insists on being held by Rosie O'Donnell.
 
2002-02-25 06:31:03 PM  
"1... 2... 3... Catch"
 
2002-02-25 06:41:38 PM  
Reverse ventriliquist
 
2002-02-25 06:41:49 PM  
Whoa! That's tight!
 
2002-02-25 06:43:40 PM  
Just think kid someday you'll grow up to be just like me
 
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