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(Fark)   Farkman #3 is out   ( divider line
    More: Wheaton  
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5607 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Mar 2002 at 8:00 AM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

203 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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2002-03-04 10:34:05 AM  
Evil Wil should be seen at his computer entering his own name over and over again on FHM's site trying to get HIS picture on the banner.
2002-03-04 10:37:23 AM  
dropkick whoevers doing the female's voices
2002-03-04 10:43:02 AM  
When all the animals escape, Pravda bear should maul Wil Wheaton.
2002-03-04 10:44:26 AM  

FARK man reveils his's Wil Wheaton !! the sexiest woman on FHM's cover!!

ok ok, I know, that was soooo, last week.

2002-03-04 10:46:14 AM  
Oh yeah, and can you add the Bobbies to the Farkman Players List if they make a 3rd appearance :/
2002-03-04 10:52:54 AM  
You're so right, BaShildy. That is an oversight I intend to correct this afternoon when I get home from this goddamn day job.
2002-03-04 11:05:49 AM  
2002-03-04 11:08:54 AM  
Another good episode.
It does need photoshopping brought into it tho. Perhaps he could photoshop kitty out of the cage, or photoshop PETA into hell :P
2002-03-04 11:13:54 AM  
Farkman: "My God. It's full of BARS."
2002-03-04 11:14:50 AM  
Oh and by the way I'm laughing my fvcking pants off. Farkman my replace Keith Richards as the Ruler of the Universe in my book.
2002-03-04 11:22:10 AM  
Great job.. keep it up... i may need to put padding on the floor... falling hurts...
2002-03-04 11:24:47 AM  
I like how you snuck in the camel toe on Vic... I mean, Farkgirl, in the bar. Very sneaky.

It occurs to me that the reason the storyline lacks a bit is because Farkers are writing it. But I guess that's OBVIOUS.
2002-03-04 11:48:19 AM  
1. Farkman Dreams he's on the top of a pyramid, surrounded by 100's of Gratuity Girls.
2. Wakes up, in back of Farkgirl Girl's pickup truck, surrounded by pigs. Has "Prize pig" ribbon. "Must have been asleep a long time." Discovers he's wearing bondage gear.
3. Gratuity Girl says they are on the way to rescue Cliche Kitty.
4. Farkman gets a boner.
2002-03-04 11:52:08 AM  
Farkman accidentally kicks Fb-s ass for being a negative little puke. He pops a boner.
2002-03-04 11:55:28 AM  
At the Gratuity Bar & Grill, while G.G. and Farkgirl try to think of a way to help Farkman, who would show up but.... Lenny & Dudley from SFG, looking for a drink. Lenny immediately proceeds to hit on G.G., while Dudley stumbles across the wasted Farkman. After commenting that he's "drunk as a monkeyfunker", they take Farkman to the ship (which is parked outside, crushing the Bobbie's patrol car), they stuff him in one of the Sobriety pods.
2002-03-04 12:03:20 PM  
Heh, forgot a few things.
After the "viola" incident, Evil Wil decides to use Tux as a example to the other animals what happens if you try to escape. By smashing Tux with a huge, cartoonish hammer, over and over. This prompts the animals to try to escape even more, while Cliche thinks longingly for his new buddy, Farkman.
2002-03-04 12:16:45 PM  
Wil Wheaton straps explosives to himself and blows up Mecca.

Farkman doesn't do much in the episode other than crack pistachios.
2002-03-04 12:21:57 PM  
I would like a guest appearance by Kramer!
[image from too old to be available]
2002-03-04 12:31:34 PM  
Farkman should see via the tv in GB&G that the government has labelled PETA a terrorist organization.

Farkman gets an inspired and comprehending look to his face, after a few seconds of obvious confusion. Then declares that he will now spring into action (presumably to save Cliche Kitty.)

Instead, the following scene can show Farkman partying down to celebrate the occasion.

The final scene could show Cliche Kitty still sitting sadly, locked in a cage.
wil [TotalFark]
2002-03-04 12:38:11 PM  
This was insanely fun to do and I think that it's really cool that the FARKers even wanted me to do it at all.

If you want me to do another panel, I am, as the cool kids say, "down."
2002-03-04 12:45:54 PM  
Gratuity Girl and Farkgirl send out spam emails promising 'HOT LESBO ACTION!'
2002-03-04 12:49:48 PM  
OK, I don't know how to link pictures. I admit it, I'm a moron.

But, this picture is freakin' hilarious.
2002-03-04 12:52:11 PM  
I heart Wil Wheaton.
2002-03-04 12:55:41 PM  
Say, the level of humour is improving. Its already funnier than some TV shows I could mention (but then again thats not too hard).

1) Beer should make him stronger, not weaker!
2) France still hasnt surrendered and its #3 already!
2002-03-04 12:58:13 PM  
One word: NINJAS! Everyone loves ninjas. Except, make them Monkey ninjas, yeah thats the ticket. Have them guarding the PETA fortress lead by their dark master Walken. Whose only real means of attack is getting his dance on.
Well, its an idea.
2002-03-04 12:59:15 PM  
Another excellent installment. LMFAO!! Thanks Parallax!
2002-03-04 01:03:54 PM  
Evil Wil Wheaton needs to phaser the hell out of the penquin that hit him.
2002-03-04 01:09:28 PM  
I can't believe it's been three episodes without Frenchie appearing much less surrendering.
2002-03-04 01:10:04 PM  
I love the subliminal stuff...

Tommy Tutone song 867-5309 as the number to call if you've seen cliche kitty...

2002-03-04 01:12:50 PM  
totally needs to have Walken worked in some how. Maybe as a good guy. Or maybe another evil peta guy.

Perhaps peta should fight back when farkman attacks by unveiling some naked models and temporarily(sp?) stunning everyone into silence or something.

and is just me or did evil wheaton look like the evil guy from the Clerks animated series?
2002-03-04 01:13:28 PM  
Seymour Gibbs see the top rated suggestion... I think France will be surrendering shortly. I'd like to see it as a running gag. Every time Farkman and Evil Wil confront each other, France Surrenders at some inoportune time for Wil. (Which should infuriate Wil to no end, I imagine-- "GODDAMNIT!!!! Stop doing that you salty little cheese eating COWARDS!")

Darcius Yaa, I had to remove all my fark pics. I nearly blew my annual bandwidth allotment during the Fark vs SA photoshop contest. My ISP was nice enough to accomodate the spike by "borrowing" from the other months bandwidth, but I maxed out by the monday afterwards.

When I get home I'll fire off the image (it's just a giant "Doug McKenzie" head, in case your wondering)
2002-03-04 01:29:51 PM  
beer leads farts.
2002-03-04 01:34:44 PM  
Animals escape from Evil Wheaton when enraged Shatner pelts him with worthless Priceline stock certificates.
2002-03-04 01:39:26 PM  
Pull a Star Wars gag and reveal Fb- to be Farkman's father and Farkgirl is his sister. And she doesn't care.
2002-03-04 01:46:15 PM  
In addition to all the captive sidekicks, there should be a room full of brains in jars like in "The Man with Two Brains." Farkman will be able to communicate with one of them (voiced by Mme. Mersault ).
2002-03-04 01:46:44 PM  
duh, forgot voting.
2002-03-04 01:49:33 PM  
Wil actually runs a porn industry that speciallizes in underage lesbian penguins.
2002-03-04 01:52:36 PM  
Love the real-time photoshopping power idea.

How about right in the middle of a big scene, MyTwoCents walks in holding a wallet dangling photos of herself and trying to show them to everyone when a grenade labeled MOD falls from the sky at her feet and blows her out of the frame?

Or, of course, a beheading or two would fit right in.
2002-03-04 02:05:22 PM  
Farkman is revived by Farkgirl, in whichever way you desire... and in walks Christopher Walken, who tells of having his pet Colobus Monkey abducted by PETA. An inevitable team up is forged as they attempt to storm Evil Wil Wheaton's PETA Palace, but they are assaulted by hordes of Protesters dressed as mishandled and mistreated cows, chickens, and other animals used for nourishment... only when Farkgirl decides to enter the fray does the real fun begin!
2002-03-04 02:08:10 PM  
I think The-Real-Wil Wheaton should infiltrate PETA disguised as bunny rabbit.
2002-03-04 02:08:19 PM  
I think The-Real-Wil Wheaton should infiltrate PETA disguised as a bunny rabbit.
wil [TotalFark]
2002-03-04 02:22:13 PM  
I don't think this should go in the next panel, because adding lots and lots of characters would distract from the story, and confuse things...


If Evil Wil Wheaton sticks around, I think it'd be cool to see him battle William Farking Shatner. Shatner's weapon would be, of course, a flying-toupee-of-death, ala Odd Job.

And, oh yeah, WALKEN, of course, at some point.
2002-03-04 02:28:40 PM  
ANY time the "Worst.<whatever>.Ever" is used,
it should be the dude from the simpsons.
2002-03-04 02:35:58 PM  
Wil should pronounce viola as voila or vice versa
2002-03-04 02:37:11 PM  
2002-03-04 02:46:31 PM  
HaHa! You will all become my slaves! HaHa!
2002-03-04 02:48:36 PM  
The quality of the animation is good, but the voice acting and entire concept is getting progressively stupider.
2002-03-04 02:49:44 PM  
Well gee whiz, Wil, if you can get Mr. Shatner on board, too, then I'm all for it. Invite him over...use your new mic. Drink some beers. Do some lines. ...of dialog.

As a lifelong fan of all things Trek, I would naturally have to spooge utterly if this actually happened.
2002-03-04 02:50:36 PM  
i'm kinda surprised not to have seen ensign crusher locked up in a cage in evil wil's fortress..

also: the bobbies should stay, if even to simply run around in m. python-esque manner.

also: let's keep the simpsons references to a minimum. they already have a show devoted entirely to simpsons references.
2002-03-04 03:03:16 PM  
I love it. Parallax Great job!!

Evil Wheaton needs some henchmen. I'm thinking Kramer, OJ Simpson, or Walken. He also needs a harem of naked, drugged-up models and super-stars in the dungeon, that he uses in his ad campaigns.

Farkman needs to get some action after getting really drunk, then wake up to find a transvestite (ironic). He freaks out.
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