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(Fark)   Farkman #3 is out   (farkman.com) divider line 203
    More: Wheaton  
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5571 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Mar 2002 at 8:00 AM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2002-03-04 03:04:56 PM
Once Farkman becomes the world's greatest superhero, I think you should introduce the Fark Purist, who believes Farkman was so much better before he became popular.
 
2002-03-04 03:08:27 PM
couple of questions:
the chihuahua: taco bell dog, right? looks/sounds a lot like ren, too. friggin ambiguous chihuahua humor :P
the penguin: a veiled linux reference?

ideas:
incorporate the driver of the plutonium truck. what happened to him?
we need a flashback of evil wil to see what makes him tick.
(perhaps mix the two ideas?)
 
2002-03-04 03:15:33 PM
Walken perhaps?
 
2002-03-04 03:18:28 PM
There needs to be an all-out war in Farkistan between Left-Wingers and Right-Wingers, with Fb- sabotaging both sides with equal maliciousness (read: big explosions).

Farkman comes and kills Fb- for interfering with the politics of his nation.

Then the fighting resumes. Hilarity ensues.
 
2002-03-04 03:20:34 PM
I dont think any episode will be complete without midget strippers. Never get enough of those!
 
2002-03-04 03:29:41 PM
Eh, i'm going to be truthful...

The first half of that episode stunk. :/

It just wasn't funny... It was like Beavis and Butthead humor, but you couldn't laugh at it because it was too stupid to be believable... but bleh.. whatever..


The second part was good.. it was quite witty... the mascots.. the linux penguin, that squirrel.. heh.

I think Farkman should be more tongue-in-cheek rather than wannabe Family Guy humor.. you just can't write like that.. it doesn't fit.

Oh well, keep up the good work.
 
2002-03-04 03:35:34 PM
Next Episode: FarkMan goes to find his kitty at the PETA headquarters, confronting his first villian on the way there: The CAPAlert Fundy!
 
2002-03-04 03:46:33 PM
"Gratuity Bar and Girl". That's hilarious!
 
2002-03-04 03:48:15 PM
1: Evil will pulls out a phaser and kills the penguin.
2: Farkman wakes up in restraints. Explains that he must save his sidekick. Farkgirl and G.C. have pitty on him and G.C. allows him to "nurse" her to get over his hangover.
3: Evil Wil enters a room and talks to a "future man" (Walken). Walken warns him that Farkman is comming for him.
4: Farkman, Farkgirl, and G.C. are seen heading to the PETA fortress riding on the back of Domo-kun.
 
2002-03-04 03:48:18 PM
1: Evil will pulls out a phaser and kills the penguin.
2: Farkman wakes up in restraints. Explains that he must save his sidekick. Farkgirl and G.C. have pitty on him and G.C. allows him to "nurse" her to get over his hangover.
3: Evil Wil enters a room and talks to a "future man" (Walken). Walken warns him that Farkman is comming for him.
4: Farkman, Farkgirl, and G.C. are seen heading to the PETA fortress riding on the back of Domo-kun.
 
2002-03-04 03:49:25 PM
My favorite line: "This is the worst flash ever." Way to turn it around, Parallax
 
2002-03-04 03:51:16 PM
Cliché Kitty needs to be able to talk; it's too hard to work him into the plot otherwise.

When he finally does speak to Farkman...

Farkman: I didn't know you could talk!
CK: Up until now, I haven't felt strongly about anything.

Here's an idea for a villain: The Lurker. He wears a dull gray jumpsuit and ... doesn't do anything! However, whenever there's a disaster, he's there. Oh, and did I mention he wears a "Tourist Guy" cap?
 
2002-03-04 03:52:14 PM
For some reason Evil-Wil-Wheaton gets chased down a railroad track, a la "Stand by Me".
 
2002-03-04 03:56:35 PM
Farkman finds himself lying in a puddle of his own puke. Farkman then figures out that has puke has the ability to dissolve stone. He drinks and pukes his way into PETA headquarters.
 
2002-03-04 04:01:15 PM
Sight gag:
After Farkman and/or Evil Wil do something, have a row of judges hold up scores. Let Frenchy's be surprising low, have all the other judges glare at him, then have him wave his little white flag right as somebody shoots him. Or cliche kitty eats him. Or something.
 
2002-03-04 04:16:19 PM
Kwdidion, that bears a striking resemblance (a bit TOO striking, actually) to a character I made for the UCONN Daily Campus back in 1989. That character was called, of all things, Barfman.

One of the sad chapters of my art career. Tip a refrigerator on me.
 
2002-03-04 04:18:05 PM
First Bulwinkle the Moose busts out of his cage and does the People's elbow on Wil. Then the stupid british cops bust in (very drunk) and pull a Rodney King on Wil. Then Farkman stumbles in covered in barf. And sees Wil lying on the ground all beat up and calls him a Dusche Bagge. Then Johnny Cockrin (however his name is spelled) comes and slaps a lawsuit on Farkman on the behalf of Wil.
 
2002-03-04 04:19:28 PM
Wil begins a small fight with Tux, while Farkman kills the bobbies in a drunken stupor, Domo Kun goes to the Peta castle and eats Mr. Bigglesworth. Cliche kitty uses a super-power to free itself and frees NutCrack Squirrel. Farkman requests that Gratuity girl and Farkgirl join him on the quest to find cliche kitty...
 
2002-03-04 04:21:07 PM

Dudes, seriously, I don't care how long I have to wait between panels. This one was funny, and the length was perfect. I say that if you can come up with something this good, then by god stick with it, regardless of time frame.

Oww, biatch!

 
2002-03-04 04:24:34 PM
PETA guy kicks Linux and it freaks BatBoy out. Batboy breaks out and in the chaos releases Cliche Kitty.
 
2002-03-04 04:25:51 PM
I like it. It needs tanks or guns or something like that.
 
2002-03-04 04:35:24 PM
WireFire2: LOL! Johnny Cockring!
 
2002-03-04 04:35:30 PM
WireFire2: LOL! Johnny Cockring!
 
2002-03-04 04:38:15 PM
Mr. T, we are in desperate need of Mr. T!
 
2002-03-04 04:43:21 PM
Parallax, I have not yet expressed my enjoyment of these cartoons. And now I shall: They rock!
 
2002-03-04 04:45:05 PM
It's actually funnier to watch the animation and then read the ideas that spawned it.

Every time Farkman says something with seven syllables in it, he should feel compelled to end the sentence with "doo dah, doo dah."
 
2002-03-04 04:45:25 PM
Oh, I do have a suggestion.

Gratuity Girl and the Bobbies somehow provoke a fight to the death between Britney Spears and Richard Simmons (or two equally annoying celebrities). Devil Boy could be taking bets on the side. :)
 
2002-03-04 04:53:17 PM
Mmm..pretty good. Needs salt.
 
2002-03-04 05:05:46 PM
That's it, we need a villian with powerful domestic brewing capabilities. Someone like: Coorsnan the Beerbarian.
 
2002-03-04 05:11:51 PM
Second half was much funnier than the first one... is that like building up the suspense?? not really...

Domo-kun needed a more ass-kicking part. what about his one -hand salute?

I second CrazyIvan's idea of Matrix-style bullet-dodging(or is it too soon for that) and taco dog turning into Batboy after Genetic experimentation.

Would love some LotR epic journey stuff Parallax...
 
2002-03-04 05:29:45 PM
Give Farkgirl better lines, dammit! :)

And to keep the realism/continuity going (ala Wil), I'm willing to do Farkgirl's voice, too.
 
2002-03-04 05:33:25 PM
Mr. T, we are in desperate need of Mr. T!

Voting good!
 
2002-03-04 05:37:40 PM
Like others have said, Farkman needs a conservative Xtian enemy. How about Jack Chick?
 
2002-03-04 05:51:59 PM
Another Fundie enemy idea: CAPtain CAP. He would look like General Patton with a big cross on his helmet.
 
2002-03-04 06:20:34 PM
Despite the incredible evil that PETA has been shown to be in these panels, I still think Cliche Kitty, when rescued, should be involved in the filming of this:

http://www.ifilm.com/ifilm/product/film_info/0,3699,2419202,00.html
 
2002-03-04 06:21:21 PM
Despite the incredible evil that PETA has been shown to be in these panels, I still think Cliche Kitty, when rescued, should be involved in the filming of this:

http://www.ifilm.com/ifilm/product/film_info/0,3699,2419202,00.html

Now with super-voting properties.
 
2002-03-04 06:24:40 PM
Wil should cry over a photo of supergay as if he was some long lost lover or something. Boobies falling out covered by the boobie tag like the black bars would be funny too...
 
2002-03-04 06:34:20 PM
(Enter ghost)
Ghost: Farkman, I am your father...
Farkman: Fb-???
Ghost: No, damn it! Drew!
 
2002-03-04 06:37:39 PM
Oh, and if tux gets killed, it should be by something with the Microsoft label on it, although I would prefer tux win such a confrontation.
 
2002-03-04 06:50:52 PM
Furthermore, I know why Wil snapped and went Evil. It's because he saw Tiffany's Playboy spread, got to thinking about how she wouldn't ever put out during their days together as '80s-pop-culture lamers, and snapped.
 
2002-03-04 06:58:36 PM
Evil Wil IS Batboy. Just look at those ears!
 
2002-03-04 07:02:56 PM
Batboy breaks out of his own respective cage(with many refrences to him bring a genetic freak), and therefore helps cliche kitty break from its cage.
 
2002-03-04 07:16:34 PM
Farkman learns that Prime Number Pooping Bear has been kidnapped by Evil Wil. Farkman finds his way to the PeTA fortress by following the trail of prime numbers.
 
2002-03-04 07:41:18 PM
Some of these suggestions are as funny as a bucket of pelicans!

Benjamin: My book is not "vanity press"; it's self-published. Big difference. No way am I going to pay some shyster to do production that I can do myself, on the basis of a vague promise that they'll promote the end result.
 
2002-03-04 07:41:39 PM
To combine suggestions from several farkers
1. Gratuity Girl and Fark Girl agree to help Farkman track down his sidekick. Do so by sending out Dolphin-Safe Vegetarian Hot Lesbo Porn.
2. Matches responses to Bobbie's Base of Boobies (known stupid criminals that the police want) and track e-mail as coming from Evil Wil's palace. Bobbies inform them that Evil Wil is PETA mastermind criminal.
3. The three of them storm the castle.
4. Fighting occurs, Evil Wil throws his chair at Farkman, knocks him out. Goes in for the kill, when,
5. French swarm the room, surrendering. They are under attack by batboy, and are trying to surrender to him, but get lost.
6. While Evil Wil is yelling at them, Farkgirl knocks him out.
7. Gratuity girl frees the animals by doing her breast crunch thing, which pops the doors open.
8. Nutsack squirel runs over Evil Wil's head, tea bagging him.
9. Batboy comes after the french, Evil Wil wakes up in a rage, chases batboy.
10. Farkman wakes up, Farkgirl and Gratuity girl tell him he just won his first big fight.
 
2002-03-04 08:15:11 PM
I don't think I've ever agreed with you on anything, Fb-, but here, I do.

Is it just me or has FARK become incredibly self obsessed?
 
2002-03-04 08:19:50 PM
Farkman learns the ways of "The Fark" (i.e. the force) from Rick James, the Linux Penguin takes a red hat and beheads the PeTA guy like the Shaolin Monk in Mortal Combat, and to make the ladies feel equal, Fark Woman has a belt that says "Weeners".
 
2002-03-04 09:01:13 PM
You should add a guy who works in a paper factory... and he explains why the paper factories smell, the real reason is....... they make paper outta........... DEAD RACOONS!
 
2002-03-04 09:01:22 PM
May be a little late, but...

Farkgirl is awesome (Go-go Camel toe!)!

I'll be happy if you put in ANY reference to ANY of the Command & Conquer games (i.e. A mixture of Barney the dinosaur and Yuri the psychic commando singing "I love you... You love me... We will obey the Soviet Power... ).

Keep up the EXTREMELY kick-ass work!


---DBS
 
2002-03-04 09:09:45 PM
Ghostbusters.. who else is he gonna call!?
oooh.. maybe walken as a ghostbuster.. that would roxxor..

geesh.. did i actually type out "roxxor"?
shoot me.
 
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