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(Yahoo)   Collard greens missing from garden in Akron. News Channel 5 reports that it "almost ruined a family's Thanksgiving"   (story.news.yahoo.com) divider line 83
    More: Stupid  
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4381 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Nov 2004 at 12:33 PM (9 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2004-11-26 11:44:40 AM
I understand they peddle such greens at grocery hubs. Cheap.
 
2004-11-26 11:52:28 AM
That article looked like something my non-English speaking friends would have written while stoned.

Seriously, whomever wrote that article should be fired and then deported.
 
2004-11-26 12:17:29 PM
Didn't know that collards were a Thanksgiving staple...


mmmmm....collards...I like them with fried yardbird, okra, corn, mashatatas and gravy...

In other observations...

For Afro-Americans, this is very important, this is as important as the turkey almost, with some cornbread with them," said Pat Smith.

Just checking my PC handbook here and this one isn't listed...Did I miss the memo?
 
2004-11-26 12:22:31 PM
D_I_A, beat me to the punch.

so what, now African-Americans hair has their own ethnic grouping?
 
2004-11-26 12:24:32 PM
"You go out and feed the dog everyday and you didn't tell me my greens were missing."

Costen reported the hound dog may have tried to alert the family.

"If he barked, I'm not going to say he didn't, but I didn't hear him bark," she said of her dog.

Costen: "What's your dog's name."
Smith: "Don't ask me?"
Costen: "You don't know your dog's name?"
Smith: "That's my husband's dog."


This article made me chuckle in many ways.
 
2004-11-26 12:35:52 PM
I'm still in complete shock that anything made it past these people's editors. It read like a babelfish translation from Chinese.
 
2004-11-26 12:36:12 PM
I don't know if it's new neighbors, but I know my collard greens are gone and they really put an empty feeling in my stomach, she said.

Well, then they aren't really worth eating anyway, were they?
 
2004-11-26 12:37:14 PM
That's the funiest thing I've read all day.

THANK YOU MR. WILLIAM FOR SAVING THE DAY!
 
2004-11-26 12:37:20 PM


Family unavailable for further comment.
 
2004-11-26 12:39:07 PM
For Afro-Americans, this is very important, this is as important as the turkey almost, with some cornbread with them," said Pat Smith.

wait... is that true?!?

/end troll
 
2004-11-26 12:39:28 PM
I don't know why this is "stupid". Should be obvious to me, mmmmm good ol' mama made collards.

I hope they get a good batch for New Years when they really need them!
 
2004-11-26 12:39:29 PM
Most assinine article ever. That's 13 seconds of my life I'll never get back.

Damn you Yahoo! Damn you!!!
 
2004-11-26 12:40:25 PM
Erp...asinine. Dammit.
 
2004-11-26 12:41:47 PM
Some of us Euro-Americans rather like 'em too. Laden with plenty of hot sauce, mind you.
 
2004-11-26 12:41:49 PM
The city I go to school in, is again in the news. Before it was porn on public channels, now stolen collard greens. Makes me proud to be a zip.
 
2004-11-26 12:42:51 PM
This kind of crap doesn't even make it into my college newspaper. What the hell?
 
2004-11-26 12:44:18 PM
Costen: "What's your dog's name."
Smith: "Don't ask me?"
Costen: "You don't know your dog's name?"
Smith: "That's my husband's dog."


gold. comedy gold.
 
2004-11-26 12:46:13 PM
Seriously, whomever wrote that article should be fired and then deported.

Actually, I'm applying for a position as a web editor, so articles like this give me hope. Thank you Fark for giving me hundreds -- nay, thousands -- of crappily edited articles to point to in defence when my new boss asks me "do you think this crap is properly edited" while waving my latest efforts in my face.
 
2004-11-26 12:46:15 PM
Wow, way to add fuel to the stereotype fire.
 
2004-11-26 12:47:01 PM
Haywardian, I sympathize. I too was a Zip.

And I understand the origin of the name, but how did the mascot get to be a kangaroo?
 
2004-11-26 12:50:27 PM
Satire?
 
2004-11-26 12:51:20 PM
Somebody set us up the collard greens bomb.

You have no chance, make your time
 
2004-11-26 12:51:34 PM


OK, I guess he gets a pass for writing a "folksy" stereotypic article that could have easily been written by a racist KKK version of Garrison Keoller?

I honestly thought this was written by an inbred Klansmen's 8 year old, until I saw this picture. Now I just wonder if he's retarded; if so, kudos to NewChannel5 for hiring the mentally challenged! Yay!
 
2004-11-26 12:52:12 PM
is this fo' real?
 
2004-11-26 12:54:57 PM
Serves 'em right for breathin' all the white man's air.

/chappelle reference.
 
2004-11-26 12:58:07 PM
xenophon10k

They voted on it in the 60's. They thought it was "unique". Everyone else has alligators,wolverines bears and wildcats. We have a kangaroo and OSU has a tree. How the heck is a tree going to inspire fear? Oh I'll seed you to death.
 
2004-11-26 12:58:52 PM
I had homemade cheese enchiladas and mashed potatoes for thanksgiving.

/vegetarian
 
2004-11-26 12:59:38 PM
Bugs Bunny sought for questioning....


Afro-americans? So its a culture based on a big hair style???
 
2004-11-26 01:01:21 PM
"All I know -- he said his name was William."

He rides atop a mottled steed and does good roughage-related deeds. Later in the day he rode into Columbus and threw kale to the children.
 
2004-11-26 01:02:26 PM
What was South Carolina's hottest new hip hop artist doing in Akron? ? ? ?

http://chuckniceinc.com/collardgreens.html
 
2004-11-26 01:02:35 PM
wumpus

Not bad, but it still sucks in comparison to the average.
 
2004-11-26 01:02:59 PM
2004-11-26 12:58:52 PM wumpus

I had homemade cheese enchiladas and mashed potatoes for thanksgiving.

/vegetarian


And we're all very, very proud of you.
 
2004-11-26 01:06:37 PM
I had me some really good greens last night. I stole it from my neighbor's garden.
 
2004-11-26 01:08:01 PM
torgo,
You stole my suffix, I demand you change it.

Just Kidding and Happy Farking,
the Hun
 
2004-11-26 01:09:58 PM
satire?
 
2004-11-26 01:15:02 PM
This is satire? Yes?
 
2004-11-26 01:19:19 PM
That was a great article. Either the writer was a genius and managed to sneak an article full of sardonic wit past his boss, or the person who wrote it was a moron talking to other morons. Either way, gold. The dog bit was right over the top.
 
2004-11-26 01:20:44 PM
That article gave me a headache.

I don't know what collard greens are so I'm going to look it up...

.. well, you learn something new every day.

/Canadian, not savvy to some American cuisine
//only a few days ago learned all about kaolin (white clay) in Georgia's cuisine
 
2004-11-26 01:21:24 PM
Well, since I live in Canada and the black people here eat the same things we do...

What the hell are collard greens, and how do they taste?
 
2004-11-26 01:22:11 PM
"Every time I come in the kitchen, YOU in the kitchen - in the GODDAMN refrigerator, eatin' up all the food. Eatin' up all the collard greens, eatin' up all the pigs feet. I like collard greens! I like pigs feet!"
 
2004-11-26 01:25:05 PM
I smell a Pulitzer!
 
2004-11-26 01:25:32 PM
Calvin Hobbes
Also known as smooth leaved cale. I've seen it used as decorations at restaurants, I can't believe people eat it.
 
2004-11-26 01:29:38 PM
I can't believe this article is anything but satirical. Sounds like it's straight out of The Onion or something. If it's not -- shame on them -- but pretty damn funny I guess.
 
2004-11-26 01:31:39 PM
I would gladly donate my share of collard greens.

/would rather eat cow snot than collard greens...yuck
 
2004-11-26 01:31:44 PM
It's good stuff, it's kind of like swiss chard.
 
2004-11-26 01:32:23 PM
I live in Akron. I if I wasn't ashamed already, I am now.

/Sad, they moved my city to West Virginia while I was sleeping.
/If we are the rubber capital, why don't these inbreds use them?!
 
2004-11-26 01:32:54 PM
FarkingReading: Not bad, but it still sucks in comparison to the average.

you've obviously never had my homemade enchiladas.
 
2004-11-26 01:34:25 PM
MrNeutron - lol

djemonk - I agree with your Boobies
 
2004-11-26 01:35:37 PM
 
2004-11-26 01:35:58 PM
Not to mention...Akron gets cold around mid September. These yahoos might have wanted to harvested them about a month ago.
 
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