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(Meltingclocktimes.com)   Whipped-cream factory explodes. Entire town buried under whipped cream. Hundreds feared dead. Nothing like this since Mt. Vesuvius buried Pompeii   (meltingclocktimes.com ) divider line
    More: Cool  
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29228 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Nov 2004 at 9:31 PM (12 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



105 Comments     (+0 »)
 


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2004-11-23 06:47:43 PM  
So... they... um...
They wish they were the Onion?
 
2004-11-23 06:55:12 PM  
Cheesy article, but raises an interesting question. What would future civs think about us if they found one of our towns intact after a "disaster" like that?
 
2004-11-23 07:01:24 PM  
There's nothing like a good news parody. Speaking of which, this article is nothing like a good news parody.

/cliched and proud
 
2004-11-23 07:08:26 PM  
Booo.
Not even remotely resembling "funny" or "believable."

Why did this get greenlighted?
 
2004-11-23 07:11:27 PM  
Really, really, really bad. Really.
 
2004-11-23 07:14:53 PM  
there's no such place as Hoboken Oregon....duhhh
 
2004-11-23 07:31:02 PM  
Jeez. Crap like this gets greenlighted for what reason? Yeah, I don't know either.
 
2004-11-23 07:47:15 PM  
Although I'm not the biggest Onion fan, it really was much funnier when they did it the first time:

Pudding-Factory Disaster Brings Slow, Creamy Death To Town Below

CENTRALIA, ILSweet, creamy death swept through this small Illinois town Monday, when nine 300,000-gallon storage vats violently burst at the local Snak-Tyme pudding factory, burying hundreds of residents in a rich, smooth tidal wave of horrifying pudding goodness...

etc., etc....
 
2004-11-23 08:00:25 PM  
KickahaOta, that was good. I'll have to borrow that for the next office email that goes out.
 
2004-11-23 08:28:32 PM  
In the red corner.. the Melting Clock Times, past winner of the Mike Tyson fightin' school of eloquence and random pop culture references!

In the blue corner.. Bad, Bad BBSpot, featherweight champion of "Satire writers who listen to ska!"

Whose oversized default font will be declared the winner? Whose horrible background design will give the most headaches?
Whose only saving grace is a google ad for whippits?

Stay tuned, the winner wins the coveted prize of: undeserved attention!
 
2004-11-23 09:34:41 PM  
Wait.....just......one....second.

An internet publication posting boring fake news? I gotta tell someone about this new entity.
 
2004-11-23 09:36:35 PM  
ok.. cheesy fake news story with nsfw banners... good thing i dont really care whats nsfw...
 
2004-11-23 09:37:11 PM  
 
2004-11-23 09:38:14 PM  
worst link ever
 
2004-11-23 09:38:37 PM  
Twisted:
You're right it's not funny... but not believeable? Think again!

This story reminded me of this one...

The great Boston Molasses Flood of 1919:
http://www.snopes.com/horrors/freakish/molasses.htm

And that led me to discover this as well...

The great beer flood of 1814:
http://www.snopes.com/horrors/freakish/beer.htm


So yes, I do think it is not outside the realm of possiblity for a town to be destoryed by a tidal wave of whipped cream! :-)
 
2004-11-23 09:39:31 PM  
So uhh do they wish they were the onion
/someone already said it
//bastards
 
2004-11-23 09:40:47 PM  
but the page did have a redeeming quality:

BOOOOOOBIES!!!!

http://www.meltingclocktimes.com/clockmelter.htm

no html skilz, NSFW goodness
 
2004-11-23 09:41:03 PM  
First biatch: Hundreds feared dead = cool? Submitter is a little scary. Strike that: Submitter is a lot scary.

Second biatch: This isn't even good satire. Submitter has more approved links than me (at zero!) and for this?!?

Oh, the shame!
 
2004-11-23 09:41:07 PM  
Link needs to change to a boobies link...
 
2004-11-23 09:43:18 PM  
what's a track home?
 
2004-11-23 09:46:04 PM  
Of course, the nitrous oxide content of that much whipped creaam alone would be fatal. But not painfully so.
 
2004-11-23 09:46:08 PM  
Fark is dead.
 
2004-11-23 09:46:17 PM  
I get this far:

"It was a typical American town, with track homes..." and stop.

It's tract homes.

If you're going to write articles on the internet, please try to find - and use - the correct terminology.
 
2004-11-23 09:46:25 PM  
hahahahaha teh kewl m3ltng clock is the bomb

/every time you think it can't get any lamer...
 
2004-11-23 09:46:51 PM  
In a related story, I highly recommend GIS for "whipped cream" with SafeSearch off.

/good times
 
2004-11-23 09:47:07 PM  
someone should hurt the submitter.
 
2004-11-23 09:47:16 PM  
Agreed...The Onion did this one much better.

Slow Creamy Death...now THAT is funny stuff.

This dreck reminds me of the way a toddler will repeat a funny moment because he got laughed at once.

Some one needs to clue these people in...YOU ARE NOT FUNNY.
 
2004-11-23 09:48:11 PM  
[image from img.fark.com too old to be available]
/'nuf said
 
2004-11-23 09:48:23 PM  
Whoa, this is even less clever and unfunnier the bbspot.. Amazing..
 
2004-11-23 09:50:29 PM  
The only good that could come of this is that the bandwidth overage charges from fark bankrupt the site.

That would at least be amusing.
 
2004-11-23 09:51:12 PM  
"Whose only saving grace is a google ad for whippits?"

Exactly Mizmike, NO2 was the first thing I thought of before I realized this was a (cough cough) "parody". However, True Whippit fans know there is only one place for all your discount laughing gas needs:

www.creamright.com

I like to call it hippy crack
 
2004-11-23 09:51:30 PM  
greenlighted why?
 
2004-11-23 09:51:54 PM  
Oh, the humanity!
 
2004-11-23 09:52:46 PM  
A quote from the NSFW link: "Kim is so hot she melted Dali's (& our) clocks, and blew our up our cocks! Kim will get you harder than an overdose of viagra!"

That is such an amusingly dumb quote. These guys are unreal!
 
2004-11-23 09:54:58 PM  
Let me be the first to say: not funny.

/please let me be the first? What? I'm not? Fine. Still not funny.
 
2004-11-23 09:55:05 PM  
Submitter: Hundreds feared dead.

Now... I didn't RTFA, but how is this [image from img.fark.com too old to be available]

/Hey, Fnord! What if I want to run "Farkit" on the headline?!
 
2004-11-23 09:56:46 PM  
Well, it is a good thing they have a capable mayor at the helm during this crisis, Jelbert McStunkoil?

/mods, may i change my username to this?
 
2004-11-23 09:56:52 PM  
Fark has apparently stopped greenlighting good satire. It kind of loses its magic when just by reading the tagline you can tell it isn't true.
 
2004-11-23 09:57:04 PM  
Prime example of why sponsored links on Fark suck. They paid to expose us to this crap.
 
2004-11-23 09:57:12 PM  
Make me wonder who are the worst. The ironic nazis or the satire gestapos.
 
2004-11-23 09:57:30 PM  
Deputy mayor: Harry Paratestis
 
2004-11-23 09:59:19 PM  
State controller: Richard Gozinya
 
2004-11-23 09:59:23 PM  
if(Fark == crappyArticles)
{
leave();
}
else
{
readMore();
}
 
2004-11-23 09:59:51 PM  
FOR SHAME! This is possibly the dumbest submission I've seen in a while. How did it get the greenlight? I'm ashamed to be a TFarker. FOR SHAME I TELL YOU!

/over-reacts from stress of not finishing a project b/c of TFark.
 
2004-11-23 10:01:03 PM  
State Attorney General: Mike Umonerface
 
2004-11-23 10:01:55 PM  
2004-11-23 06:55:12 PM JayTheLurk [TotalFark]

Cheesy article, but raises an interesting question. What would future civs think about us if they found one of our towns intact after a "disaster" like that?

Try to find a copy of "Motel of the Mysteries" by David Macaulay
 
2004-11-23 10:01:55 PM  
Lameness factor rating = 10
 
2004-11-23 10:02:07 PM  
The current clockmelter's rack is pleasing to the eye and she gets high marks from me for wearing those white cotton panties.

/panties... I feel dirty just saying it.
 
2004-11-23 10:02:30 PM  
Damn. And I had a pumpkin pie in hand, ready to run outside...
 
2004-11-23 10:03:29 PM  
Why don't we use the satire tag anymore?
 
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