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(Herald Tribune (SW Florida))   Man gets 40 years in prison for stealing lasagna   (heraldtribune.com) divider line 94
    More: Amusing  
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15468 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Nov 2004 at 3:19 PM (9 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2004-11-23 03:53:30 PM
ahhh crap. If there was one Fark thread I needed to get an early post in on, this was it, but I saw at least 3 references to Valjean (aka 24601, his prison number) already. Guess I need to go TF.

/I surrender
 
2004-11-23 03:55:07 PM
To continue the thread jack, when was the last time anyone laughed at Nancy. I'm not even sure that qualifies as a comic anymore.
 
2004-11-23 03:56:18 PM
For stealing the lasagne, he is now sentenced to 40 years of hiding the salami.
 
2004-11-23 03:57:12 PM
Inmate 1: "So what you in for"

Inmate 2: "I stole some lasagna"

Inmate 1: "........"

Inmate 2: "You?"

Inmate 1: "Murda"

Inmate 2: "I used a gun tho' when I did it"

Inmate 1: "Just bend over, fool"
 
2004-11-23 03:59:57 PM
demanton

Forty years in prison?


A guy with 8 priors tries to shoot a guy in an armed robbery, and gets 40 years and a lasagna for his troubles?

Yes, amusing.
 
2004-11-23 04:00:34 PM

It's just that good.
 
2004-11-23 04:01:09 PM
 
2004-11-23 04:02:02 PM
Wouldn't it be great it the dope was given nothing but lasagna for all his prison meals for forty years?

By the way, Garfield was never funny. Never.
 
2004-11-23 04:02:21 PM
no Florida tag?
 
2004-11-23 04:13:44 PM
Cheeze it !! It's da Fuzz

Signed Biggie Rat
 
2004-11-23 04:18:39 PM
Garfield was never meant to be funny. Garfield is an existentialist studying the phenomenology of being-in-itself.
 
2004-11-23 04:18:41 PM
I sure hope nothing like this "amusing" event happens to the submitter or his family. Nothing funny about getting 40 years in prison for something like this, it is really an embarrassment for our legal system, in the home of the Free. Good thing Mike Tyson didn't steal a plate of Lasagna when he raped that beauty contestant, he'd still be in the slammer.
 
2004-11-23 04:19:07 PM
If we start to outlaw lasagna then only criminals will have lasagna
 
2004-11-23 04:21:02 PM
The crime was not stealing lasagna. The crime was firing a gun at someone's head in his ninth armed robbery.
 
2004-11-23 04:21:10 PM
40 years is better than dying for a flying shrimp at Benihana...
 
2004-11-23 04:25:02 PM
Eight Priors?!?! And he fired a SHOT AT THE GUY!

This clown is lucky to get 40 years, they should give him the chair.

EIGHT PRIOR CONVICTIONS including armed robbery! He's never going to stop. Why should taxes pay for an unrepentent criminal to live out the rest of his life?

/Generally a Social Liberal
 
2004-11-23 04:31:03 PM
40 years sounds about right.

They should make it a point to serve him lasagna on the anniversary of the offense.

I would send him Garfield comics with specific references to lasagna. It's not a nice thing to do but there just isn't any money in being nice these days.
 
2004-11-23 04:43:48 PM
He'll probably be up for parole before the pot offender he's about to be 'mates with
 
2004-11-23 04:47:23 PM
Actaully, I happen to like Garfield and Dilbert, but Kathy on the other hand is a putrid pile of crap. This moron got what he deserved, 40 years is a-ok to me.
 
2004-11-23 04:48:17 PM
planes
I sure hope nothing like this "amusing" event happens to the submitter or his family. Nothing funny about getting 40 years in prison for something like this, it is really an embarrassment for our legal system, in the home of the Free. Good thing Mike Tyson didn't steal a plate of Lasagna when he raped that beauty contestant, he'd still be in the slammer.

You're not much of a reader. You not only ignored the article, but you also ignored the first 60 comments, to leap to a conclusion that supports some kind of agenda.

The felon with eight prior felony convictions FOLLOWED A GUY HOME, SHOT AT HIM, AND STOLE A BAG OF WHAT HE THOUGHT WAS MONEY. It actually had lasagna in it.

It is amusing because the guy got what he deserved, but only a bag of lasagna in return.

MORAN...
 
2004-11-23 04:52:21 PM
One more time for the back row:

The felon with eight prior felony convictions FOLLOWED A GUY HOME, SHOT AT HIM, AND STOLE A BAG OF WHAT HE THOUGHT WAS MONEY. It actually had lasagna in it.


/Why don't explicit font sizes work?
 
2004-11-23 04:53:21 PM
planes

He didn't get the 40 years for stealing lasagna. He got the 40 years for trying to kill the store owner.

It makes me proud of our legal system.
 
2004-11-23 04:59:32 PM
did he at least eat it? I hope so
 
2004-11-23 05:05:25 PM
I don't get it. If he was hungry shouldn't he go to the soup kitchen.
 
2004-11-23 05:05:47 PM
Good thing he wasn't smoking weed 'cause he'd get about 745 years.
 
2004-11-23 05:06:39 PM
Hypothetical question for our legal minded farkers:

If he hadn't shot at the guy, would he have gotten a different sentence depending on what was stolen? If he stole lasagna (or lawn clippings, dog waste or what ever) thinking it was money, would they have based his sentence on what he actually stole or what he thought he was stealing? I suppose the question I'm asking is what role does intent play in these situations?
 
2004-11-23 05:08:06 PM
Meanwhile, Ken Lay still scott free.

oh, and Osama bin Laden

The Lays and the bin Ladens, what do they have in common?


Hmmmm......
 
2004-11-23 05:08:52 PM
Wow. That must have been really good lasagna.
 
2004-11-23 05:09:22 PM
lord_spap-oop Wouldn't it be great it the dope was given nothing but lasagna for all his prison meals for forty years?
lol, thanks.
 
2004-11-23 05:10:25 PM
harrinkw

I'm still looking for a woman like that. (The lasagna bringing kind, that is.)
 
2004-11-23 05:10:32 PM
planes

I sure hope nothing like this "amusing" event happens to the submitter or his family. Nothing funny about getting 40 years in prison for something like this, it is really an embarrassment for our legal system, in the home of the Free. Good thing Mike Tyson didn't steal a plate of Lasagna when he raped that beauty contestant, he'd still be in the slammer.

Good job reading the article, cheif.
 
2004-11-23 05:13:35 PM
Slightly misleading headline
 
2004-11-23 05:41:17 PM
First the Shrimp and now lasagna... I am soooo hungry right now.
 
2004-11-23 05:44:56 PM
I had advised him to leave the gun, and take the canoli.
 
2004-11-23 06:14:03 PM
Microbe, they both like vegetarian lasagna?
 
2004-11-23 06:27:03 PM
Serves him right. God, how I loath the poor.
 
2004-11-23 07:17:21 PM
Yano. I've talked without reading the article, but I've never said anything without at least reading some of the comments. I mean, c'mon now.
 
2004-11-23 07:24:16 PM
8 felony convictions by the time he's 26 and he was still walking the streets.

WTF!

No wonder victims have to kill the fukkers to get them off the street.

/reference to SUV man in later post
 
2004-11-23 08:46:08 PM
 
2004-11-23 09:16:24 PM
Good thing he wasn't smoking weed 'cause he'd get about 745 years.

God help him if that Lasagna was a carrier for LSD... A pound or so of lasagna... What's that, about a billion hits at six months each? He'd be out in about 500 million years.
 
2004-11-23 10:24:18 PM
While we are threadjacking...

Dilbert jumped the shark a couple of years ago.

Scott Adams seems to be dressing himself in flowing robes and thinks he is a business guru. His recent books don't bother with humour.

/threadjack over

mmm lasagne. Haven't had that for a while.
 
2004-11-23 11:22:46 PM
8 previous felonies? This guy deserves 40 yrs for being an idiot. Some fools work harder to not work than just going to work at an honest job.

And dont even talk about how 'tough' it is to get a job as a felon, I do it daily for a government agency. The willing do, the unwilling dont.
 
nfw
2004-11-24 12:40:52 PM
Who the hell puts his lasagna in the trunk?
 
2004-11-24 11:32:42 PM
Dilberts still good some of the time. Here's a recent funny one:

 
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