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(This is Local London)   Three burglars break in while third-degree black belt is at home. You want karate?   (thisislocallondon.co.uk ) divider line 130
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27615 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Nov 2004 at 5:32 PM (11 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2004-11-21 09:48:42 AM  
Karate Explosion
 
2004-11-21 10:20:58 AM  
[image from classof1973.homestead.com too old to be available]
 
2004-11-21 01:13:43 PM  
Did he use the Quart of Blood technique?
 
wee
2004-11-21 01:23:33 PM  
Bummer, the intruders got away. I like hearing about those sorts of people being seriously injured or maimed. He would have done a better job with a pistol.
 
2004-11-21 02:05:21 PM  
Iron shirt!
 
2004-11-21 03:38:07 PM  
good thing the 3 guys didnt actually attack him, as we all know karate is good for tournaments.. but had the three of them actually engaged him.. he would've been in for it.
 
2004-11-21 05:11:35 PM  
He should have used Pai Mai's Five Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique.
 
2004-11-21 05:34:42 PM  
You want Karate?

So this has officially become a Fark cliche?
 
2004-11-21 05:36:07 PM  
"You Want Karate?"

Ummmm... it was "DO you want karate?"

Geeesh... get it right.

Oh, and don't forget about Poland.
 
2004-11-21 05:37:26 PM  
Do you want karate?

Get it right.

/cliche nazi
 
2004-11-21 05:39:04 PM  
If it's not a cliche, it SHOULD be.

I'm thrilled I was present at the birth of:

Here comes the science
and
Do you want karate?
 
2004-11-21 05:39:37 PM  
If you want Karate
And you think I'm sexy
Come along and rob my house!


/Rod Steward spins in his grave
//Oh, wait, he's nt dead, he just looks it...
 
2004-11-21 05:39:44 PM  
Did he kick their asses back to Tiannenman Square?
 
2004-11-21 05:40:28 PM  
can someone tell or post the link to the "want karate" sotry? I know it was just a few weeks ago but I totally missed the berf of a fun cliche.
 
2004-11-21 05:41:05 PM  
The trio drove off in a blue Ford Escort car

talk about adding insult to injury...
 
2004-11-21 05:42:51 PM  
Grasshopper, do you want karate?
 
2004-11-21 05:44:54 PM  
"Me Julie"
 
2004-11-21 05:45:35 PM  
Its called a boken, not a wooden samurai sword.
 
2004-11-21 05:45:38 PM  
as much as I hate the frequency I see this used on Fark... I have to say...

PWN3D!
 
2004-11-21 05:46:58 PM  
Good for him! And he's 58!
My goal for that age is to remember where the bathroom is and be able to use it by myself.

[image from home.comcast.net too old to be available]
 
2004-11-21 05:47:21 PM  
They must have really wanted his couch.
 
2004-11-21 05:49:14 PM  
Karate Class????


NSFW...

http://tperkins.com/NWO/pages/karate%20class.htm
 
2004-11-21 05:50:14 PM  
FunkLord

He should have used Pai Mai's Five Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique.

And what pray tell, is the five point palm exploding heart technique?
 
2004-11-21 05:52:32 PM  
I'd like to see this guy take on Kato from Pink Panther.
 
2004-11-21 05:52:52 PM  
wtf someidiot?
 
2004-11-21 05:53:16 PM  
Sweet! That's one black belt degree per intruder. Oh, and Dr Knockboots, you're right to some extent about Karate being mainly a tournament technique, but the actual self-defense style is pretty down-and-dirty. That guy was a third-dan blackbelt. I think the three robbers would have had multiple broken knees and poked eyes between them.
 
2004-11-21 05:53:25 PM  
his couch?

i've heard a lotta people say that.. what does it mean?

also heard on the 'woman lives in another woman's house' thread not too long ago
 
2004-11-21 05:54:22 PM  
Some guys broke into my car once and I lunged at them with my finely honed DeMartini aluminum softball bat technique. They got away.
 
2004-11-21 05:54:53 PM  
Dr.Knockboots:

sure, if you're going to a dojo that only prepares people to compete in tournaments. but it is usually tai kwon do that is guilty of such things.

real karate, and not a belt factory that most dojos have become, trains you to become a weapon. the entire point of the exercises (ranging from punching the crap out of a makiwara board, to kata) is to train you to be able to take out not just one person, but multiple assailants. if this guy was any good at all, he should have been able to wipe the floor with the three of them.

perhaps you should educate yourself in such arts before making supposedly-informed comments.
 
2004-11-21 05:55:14 PM  
England eh? Shouldn't he be arrested for defending himself? What about the poor criminals??? I bet they suffered emotional damage.
 
2004-11-21 05:56:50 PM  
And what pray tell, is the five point palm exploding heart technique?

Kill Bill Vol. II , the master teachs it to Uma Thurman. Something about hitting 5 pressure points, and your heart asplodes after 3 steps.

 
2004-11-21 05:57:02 PM  
Yeah 3 people is damn difficult to fight. Point is the man had a boken. It doesn't take two people long to run away after they see their buddy get smacked in the head with that. You can do some nasty damage with one of those, head wounds bleed a lot. Don't think too many people are gonna stick around when they see someone drop and bleed profusely.
 
2004-11-21 05:57:06 PM  

"Excuse me sirs, but you are talking to a n**ger !"


~Steve Martin, The Jerk (only thing I thought of looking at the pic)
[image from thisislocallondon.co.uk too old to be available]

 
2004-11-21 05:58:24 PM  
Nurseman:

good job on missing the joke.
 
2004-11-21 06:00:35 PM  
2004-11-21 03:38:07 PM Dr.Knockboots [TotalFark]

good thing the 3 guys didnt actually attack him, as we all know karate is good for tournaments.. but had the three of them actually engaged him.. he would've been in for it.


-Not necessarily. Most people have no idea how to fight. A well trained person could very well hold their own against 3 average opponents. Plenty of martial-arts techniques can stun or incapacitate with a single blow...
 
2004-11-21 06:02:40 PM  
Dr. Knockboots, mushroomblue

Both of you. Shut. Up.
 
2004-11-21 06:02:43 PM  
yeah seriously someidiot... seriously. And the story would be come much better if he had waited til they were carting his couch away to spring forth.
 
2004-11-21 06:04:33 PM  
Three burglars break in while third-degree black belt is at home

Did he belt each of them once?
 
2004-11-21 06:05:06 PM  
SnarfvsMaximvs:

care to give us a reason why? Timothy Leary taught me to always question perceived authority.
 
2004-11-21 06:05:07 PM  
I watched a full contact karate match last night at fight night, they were both pretty good, but nothing like Bruce Lee.
 
2004-11-21 06:05:55 PM  
Hmmm. SomeIdiot...Sort of like the anti-BearToy are ye?
 
2004-11-21 06:09:10 PM  
bluenovaman:

there used to be a great site with movies of Bruce Lee competing in tournaments. sadly, it is no more, but the movies on there were amazing. he was a much more reserved fighter outside of a film set, as he had to adhere to the rules of the fight. however, he was lightning fast.

I'm assuming this full-contact match you watched was still point-based?
 
2004-11-21 06:09:41 PM  
In the all-encompassing realm of martial arts, karate is somewhere at the lower end. However, some karate training is infinately better than no training at all. If he had gone in there bare handed, I'd have given him 5-1 odds. But throw in the boken and that makes him a 2-1 favorite.

/Judo and ju-jitsu rule supreme.
 
2004-11-21 06:11:18 PM  
Ford Escort, lots of tire smoke? Hmmmm, more likely it was smoke from the engine!
 
2004-11-21 06:12:39 PM  
BearToy wins.

/correct me if I'm wrong, but are you asking for KARATE???
 
2004-11-21 06:16:22 PM  
ju-jitsu rules.
 
2004-11-21 06:17:29 PM  
Nurseman

Kill Bill Vol. II , the master teachs it to Uma Thurman. Something about hitting 5 pressure points, and your heart asplodes after 3 steps.

Now, I've never seen Kill Bill, but that sounds like the most HUGE rip-off of Fist of the North Star EVER.
 
2004-11-21 06:18:41 PM  
/agree mushroomblue

Little did SnarfvsMaximvs know that, while it is agreed that some dojos teach ritual dancing, there are many that do not. Except for Judo, which is a watered-down style of Ju-Jitsu designed specifically for tournaments, essentially every fighting style can kick an assailant's *ss if you're taught it right.

Oh, and SnarfvsMaxiuvs... potes Latine legere? Si no, cur tu nomen est?
 
2004-11-21 06:20:09 PM  
Reveilled

That's because it's supposed to be. It's called an homage.
 
2004-11-21 06:24:24 PM  
I think we better ask the professionals at "www.realultimatepower.net" first. This may all be bullshiat...

/is ready to get pumped
 
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