Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(NewsDay)   Screw "Don't run with scissors". Don't run with Coffee Cups. When people said caffeine would kill you, I didn't know they were serious.   (newsday.com ) divider line
    More: Scary  
•       •       •

9797 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Feb 2002 at 9:27 PM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



33 Comments     (+0 »)
 
 
2002-02-22 09:30:10 PM  
Ouch!
 
2002-02-22 09:30:22 PM  
ya, coffee can burn!
 
sec
2002-02-22 09:30:25 PM  
USA logic says this man is a HERO!!!
 
2002-02-22 09:31:07 PM  
Poor Guy.
 
2002-02-22 09:32:01 PM  
He is a hero. In fact, the Vatican is conferring saintly status upon him tomorrow.

This years saint class = this guy, Mr. T, and Voltron.

Go figure.
 
sec
2002-02-22 09:32:52 PM  
from now on i will have the additional adrenaline rush of surviving my cup of coffee on top of the caffeine buzz. thanks guy!
 
2002-02-22 09:34:50 PM  
"...He was a bargain shopper who'd buy wholesale, he said, filling the pantries with the bulk items..."

Gee, I'm glad they included all the important stuff in this story
 
2002-02-22 09:37:21 PM  
"Stoyer had lived with his ex-wife, Kathleen"

That's suicidal right there.
 
2002-02-22 09:38:38 PM  
He went outside to keep the cig-smoke away from the kids?Then he slipped on his mug and bled out, poor guy.
 
2002-02-22 09:40:47 PM  
MadameX - I thought you said "filling his panties with the bulk items" at first, and I was quite amused.

That is all.
 
2002-02-22 09:40:55 PM  
It was Joseph Stoyer's favorite spot, the stained concrete step

Is that really the best opening for a story dealing with a guy who bled to death on the concrete? Was the step stained before or after his death?
 
2002-02-22 09:41:57 PM  
That is not a good way to go. There are probably worse ways, but who really wants to contemplate them?
 
2002-02-22 09:45:35 PM  
Anyone want to bet the ex sues the makers of that coffee mug?
 
2002-02-22 09:53:54 PM  
Sesmoid:
she might go after the contractors that poured the concrete for the steps, after all they made it so hard that it broke the mug.
 
2002-02-22 09:55:03 PM  
Coffee= The Axis of Evil.
 
2002-02-22 10:00:00 PM  
Was it colombian coffee? Did he have a necktie?
 
2002-02-22 10:11:14 PM  
Hmmm, out of work for 10 years, bargain shopper, hernia surgery, lived with his ex-wife, dies falling on his coffee cup...... I think God just hated him.
 
2002-02-22 11:13:58 PM  
That just sucks... can only say the same thing i said when my buddy John died (at only 25)... at least the caffiene and nicotine never got him... "only the good die young"
 
2002-02-22 11:20:57 PM  
I shall forever look at my coffee cup in a new light.
 
2002-02-22 11:33:58 PM  
"He didn't want us to get sick," Stoyer's son said, his eyes fixed on the handlebars. "He still has a pack upstairs."

Mr. Rogers says: "Can you say, 'inheritance?'"
 
2002-02-22 11:34:07 PM  
So you quit drinking coffee in a mug and switch to a plastic cup and then your ex-cop neighbor goes bezerk and shoots you in the head 8 or 9 times and then you think (as you're dying) "I should have kept my mug".
 
2002-02-23 01:36:31 AM  
Theres something to be said about styrofoam cups...bad for the environment, but have you ever heard of someone bleeding to death from a cut from a styrofoam shard?
 
2002-02-23 02:13:56 AM  
Freak accident my ass, this is like that dude who was shot in the back of the head with a shotgun, and it was ruled a suicide.
 
2002-02-23 03:42:48 AM  
Probably one of the most embarrassing ways to go... death by coffee cup. Well maybe not as bad as autoerotic asphyxiation...
 
2002-02-23 07:05:33 AM  
Glad I hate coffee :P
 
2002-02-23 10:54:02 AM  
Hey, some guy get's killed in a freak accident...let's make fun!!! Forget about the fact that he left two kids behind.
 
2002-02-23 11:10:38 AM  
Ping - sounds good
 
2002-02-23 01:17:06 PM  
damn this headline writer sucks.
 
2002-02-23 01:29:08 PM  
sad:(
 
2002-02-23 03:25:47 PM  
Seaford, LI, NY is a nice place. Spent two years there basically right next to Jackson ave almost. If anyone reads this and doesn't at least say "Damn, that sucks" you are cold and heartless. However weird the way he died, it still freekin sucks.
 
2002-02-23 04:54:11 PM  
This is so horribly unfunny...nothing to make fun of here - and certainly not a contender for a Darwin Award.
 
2002-02-23 06:40:06 PM  
Slumped over his bike and staring at the ground, Stoyer's son John pedaled slowly from the home just before noon yesterday.

"I just woke up to find out my dad's dead," he said. "What am I going to do?"

...

"He didn't want us to get sick," Stoyer's son said, his eyes fixed on the handlebars. "He still has a pack upstairs."


Farking media whores. 'Hey, this guy just died in a freak accident, let's go accost his mourning adolescent son riding his bike down the street and ask him whether he's sad. And while we're at it, we can find out what he thought of his dad's smoking habits and the effects of secondhand smoke.' Goddamn vultures. How is this news? Leave the family in peace, it's already hard enough losing a parent.
 
2002-02-23 09:02:56 PM  
I read that as well, frigging Newsday reporters are scum. My buddies family died in a fire in the same part of NY and they were out the morning of the incident harassing him and his brother who just come home that morning to find their family dead. The reporters hung around the house all day.
 
Displayed 33 of 33 comments


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter






In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report