Giant aninals? Well I guess they are rather larger when campared to the Japanese...

I like the zoo.

If you try that in America, someone will just take out their gun and shoot the thing.

Where's PETA when you need them?

They actually have drills for catching escaped animals?!

Too bad they didn't tranquilize him with a real tranquilizer dart. Now THAT would have been funny.

Next on Fox: "When Fake Animals Attack Part I"

Why is it that all the headlines recently are completely misleading? Is someone working on their jackass routine or something?

There was no trampling. No robot bears are killing the elderly. Why put that in there then? Do you think people will read it (okay, you win, I read it...)

I did think the quote from the little girl who'd get her karate-learning brother to beat up the polar bear was cute tho.

walkman: Polar bears can grow up to 10 feet tall and weigh up to 1700 pounds. I think the word giant applies, regardless of racial stature. Oh..wait, it was a joke...sorry, my wife took the last of the humor this morning.

That polar bear totally wants me.

Solestri: Better than being freaked out and paniced when one does break out. Although now I have the mental image of many japanese people screaming, "Polar bear! Aieee" and running off into the distance followed by the polar bear eating an elevated train.

They have drills because it's the only time Japanese "officials" are successful in handling a crisis. Last year, a (wild) bear wandered out of the hills into Kyoto, and was splashing about in the river in a quaint tourist town, having a good time and amusing the tourists. There is a zoo in Kyoto, not far away, with trained handlers and tranquilizer guns.

But don't forget, this is Japan, the country where 6,000 people died in an earthquake while Swiss rescue dogs were QUARANTINED at airports and th U.S. Military Airlif Command cargo planes waited on runways loaded with food, water, blankets and tents.

In order to use a gun off zoo grounds, the zoo officials, according to protocol, had to request permission from the prefectural government and at the federal level from the parks and fisheries (or some such) dept. This was expected to take weeks, as the bear reportedly munched some bamboo shoots by the river.

"The hell with protocol, this is an emergency! Let's do it, and let the chips fall where they may." That is a phrase you will hear from Japanese officials when hell freezes over. In the end, the cops came in and shot him to death with conventional guns.

This story does not make me laugh.

I know my first thought during an earthquake would be to save the animals.

PlanetKyoto Yes this story is very japanese. just from the way that it is writen and the involvement of the people emtionally and through action. it was like every quote in there could have come from my friends girl. word for word.

The fact that a guy dressed up in a polar bear suit was really lame. Now, if he had only dressed up in a Godzilla costume (with sound and special effects)... THAT would rock!

I have a lot of respect for the Japanese having studied their culture for a few years, but they do some stupid shiat sometimes. This is one of the stupidest things I've heard of, though. How are they going to determine what an animal that runs on instincts is going to do by having a man who runs on intelligence simulate an animal.

PS: I agree with Bongoman. Screw the animals. I'll save me and my family/friends first.

I was always told if you want to catch a polar bear you
have to cut a hole in the ice and put a pea by the hole
and when the polar bear takes a pea you kick him in the ICE HOLE!!

yeah, where is the hammer post?

this has to be one of the lamest links I've seen on fark in a long time....I wonder if they suit someone up in a giant Godzilla suit and have him run amok in the cities for drills? I want to drive one of those giant laser gun trucks.

MadMonk

They sure do, here's the guy in his suit:

"I'd get my brother who's learning karate to go and beat it up," she said.

If there's anything that can't be fixed with karate, I don't want to know about it.

Yes, it was a joke... The biggest polar bear ever recorded was found (actually he found the researhers) and went almost 15' tall when standing and close to 3,000#. Scared the befeebers out of the researchers when this sucker strolled in from the ice.

The last time a polar bear escaped in a world zoo, officials evacuated everyone and started proceedings to trank the guy and save the city. In the meantime the bear wandered around for an hour, checked out the seals (didn't get one, dammit) and disappeared. Officials were concerned that the bear was off somewhere chewing on people and went into panic mode. He was finally found hours later snoozing in his den.

Yes, it was a joke... The biggest polar bear ever recorded was found (actually he found the researhers) and went almost 15' tall when standing and close to 3,000#. Scared the bejeebers out of the researchers when this sucker strolled in from the ice.

The last time a polar bear escaped in a world zoo, officials evacuated everyone and started proceedings to trank the guy and save the city. In the meantime the bear wandered around for an hour, checked out the seals (didn't get one, dammit) and disappeared. Officials were concerned that the bear was off somewhere chewing on people and went into panic mode. He was finally found hours later snoozing in his den.

I was having a problem with my carburetor and this guy I know said, "Let me work on it. I know karate." Sure enough, he fixed it in no time.

"Rook out, rook out!"

They weren't afraid of polar bears, they just though it was one of those sick fark furries on the loose.

It was a zoo in Japan? So they are now trained to capture polar bears that are 5'2" and 120 lbs...

Oh No, there goes Tokyo
Go Go Godz... uhh... Polie Bear!

Maybe they should actually use the real thing next time. Nothing like live training.

Firstly, I am sick of misleading headlines. Sure it gets me to click the link, but how does that benefit Fark or its participants? HOW I ask you?!

And B, did anyone else flip channels during the commercials in the Olympic broadcast, and get sucked into the FOX eating extravaganza? Brains! Brains! If you are ever being chased by a multi-national group of zombies, stay the hell away from the Japanese ones because you DON'T HAVE A CHANCE. This Japanese guy ate 52 (yes 52!) cow brains in like two minutes. It was so sick. Consequently, due to the proximity of the olympic broadcast, I have determined that from here forward, any ties in ANY olympic event, must be decided with a brain eating competition. It is THE ONLY way. Also, the new slang for puking is "disqualifying" as in "oh, urp, dude, I'm going to disqualify myself"
ENJOY.

"Lets see, blimp attack drill, poison gas drill, nuclear war drill. I think i'll stick with the polar bear attack drill..."

SEE, Bush was wrong. We've been Japanese Allies for 150 years, but America has been enemies of Japanese Polar bears for 50 years or so.

Besides, why are Japanese people concerned about their safety ? Don't they have Dragonball Z to take care of all their problems ?

i always thought the headlines on fark were supposed to be a bit farked. are we being too literal here? anyone? buehler?

Ah! Those wacky Japanese and their polar bear escape drills!

One wonders how such a culture gets created.

from "Suck a cheetah's dick" by Wesley Willis

Suck a polar bear's funky ass!
Suck a racehorse's cock with Heinz tomato ketchup!
Suck a donkey's shiatty ass!
Suck a male camel's dick with hoisin sauce!

SUCK A CHEETAH'S DICK
SUCK A CHEETAH'S DICK
SUCK A CHEETAH'S DICK
SUCK A CHEETAH'S DICK

Harumi Tokiwa, a kindergarten teacher visiting the zoo with
her pupils, said an escaped polar bear would be scary.
"I guess if that happened, we'd probably just be eaten."


Wow.

Japanese are strange

Japanese are strange

hmmm.

Not wasting much time on this thread...WHO CARES...

I saw video footage of this on the news. VERY WEIRD.