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(Some Guy)   North Carolina sidewalks apparently attacking tourists   ( divider line
    More: Amusing  
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15269 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Nov 2004 at 10:25 PM (13 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

90 Comments     (+0 »)

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2004-11-14 10:28:27 PM  
in other news NC is actually getting tourists

/secret canadian
2004-11-14 10:28:34 PM  
Good. Maybe they'll stop asking me for directions.
2004-11-14 10:31:50 PM  
Third post!
2004-11-14 10:32:58 PM  

And now, to release the carnivorous mailboxes!
2004-11-14 10:33:39 PM  
No post?
2004-11-14 10:34:20 PM  
le're from NC?...I have some friends down there....kinda...okay I stalked somebody down there once
2004-11-14 10:36:57 PM  
We have tourists?
2004-11-14 10:37:48 PM  
Is it farked? It won't load. anyways... I didn't get to rtfa, but, I wish one would attack (and devour) my ex-bf.
2004-11-14 10:38:28 PM  
/pissy mood
2004-11-14 10:39:09 PM  
We been tellin' folks that for years, do they listen? Now, take your average South Carolina sidewalk, they're pretty dumb and docile, too much inbreeding, you know. But your North Carolina sidewalks, well boy, that's a whole 'nuther story. They're smart, and they'll take small and weak prey in a second. Known fact that cats are lost to rogue sidewalks so often in the cities that almost none are let out anymore. I myself almost lost a hand to a nasty, scarred up ole' sidewalk that reared up on me one night back in aught 2...

/obviously didn't RTFA
/already farked
2004-11-14 10:39:24 PM  
Farked, I'm from the island where that paper is. What was the article? Was it a drunk redneck at the boardwalk falling down?

Half the papers articles are made up of "Interview with Betty Blue Hair's 3 year-old Grandson" stories.
2004-11-14 10:39:52 PM  
Could not locate remote server

In other news, please contact your network administrator for details
2004-11-14 10:40:05 PM  
The sidewalks in North Carolina don't know how to respond to
2004-11-14 10:40:30 PM  
Hah! I live about fifteen miles from Carolina Beach! I have to say, it is a tad rare to see a link about NC, much less about New Hanover County!

But Blinko, sadly we get more than our fair share of tourists. Between the college (UNCW) and the beach, we really only have about two months of low-traffic, low-asshat times. The rest of the time it is a nightmare. Wilmington was built for a few hundred thousand people, so when the tourists and college kids make the journey, it's a farking nightmare.
2004-11-14 10:42:17 PM  

I'd attack your ex with a sidewalk (or chunk thereof) if you ask nicely. But I ain't eating him.
2004-11-14 10:45:43 PM  
"Surely there is no place in the world where the Inliabitants live with less labor than in North Carolina? It approaches nearer to the description of Lubberland than any other, by the great felicity of the Climate, the easiness of raising provisions, and the Slothfulness of the People....
The Men, for their Parts, just like the Indians, impose all the Work upon the poor Women. They niske their Wives rise out of their Beds early in the morning, at the same time that they lye and Snore, till the sun has run one third his course, and disperst all the unwholesome damps. Then, after Stretching and Yawning for half an Hour, they light their Pipes, and, under the Protection of a cloud of Smoak, venture out intothe open Air; tho', if it happens to he never so little cold they quickly return Shivering into the Chinincy corner. When the weather is mild, they stand leaning with both their arms upon the corn-field fence, and gravely consider whether they had best go and take a Small Heat at the Hough; but generally find reasons to put it off till another time. Thus they loiter away their lives, like Solomon's Sluggard, with their arms across, and at the Winding up of the Year Scarcely have Bread to Eat. To speak the truth, 'tis aversion to Labor that makes People ifie off to N. Carolina, where Plenty and a warm Sun conarm them in their disposition to Lasiness for their whole Lives."

--William Byrd II
2004-11-14 10:45:55 PM  
I figured you guys did....a friend of mine is in Wilmington...she says there are lots of tourist types round there. But I got Boobies, so I thought I would say something real offense intended
2004-11-14 10:46:29 PM  
Blinko, yeah, I live near UNCA. Shall I draw you a map to my house?
2004-11-14 10:48:41 PM  
oh please, i have a bunch of young, nubile, unaware girl...oh, I mean yeah that would be cool
2004-11-14 10:49:04 PM  
The tourists have already won.
2004-11-14 10:50:55 PM  
I got a strange...obsession with...dots.......also.....I take big....breaths...between every....phrase......
2004-11-14 10:53:19 PM  
Farked already? It's only just been posted. Anyone catch the article?
2004-11-14 10:53:36 PM  
le mew but hey your email would do, mine is in the it out if you want
2004-11-14 10:56:05 PM  
wow i've never seen an article farked so fast
2004-11-14 10:57:10 PM  
I had a street in San Francisco attack me once when I was there visiting -- On my birthday no less. OK, so maybe it was the combination of the heeled sandals, a day of walking the city, and more than a couple of glasses of wine.

btw, the link is hosed.
2004-11-14 10:59:00 PM  
bwahahaha bwa haha

Only I have read the farking article......

/I know, it doesn't actually matter
2004-11-14 11:00:17 PM  

Hey, I just figured out your logon name. Cool!
2004-11-14 11:01:20 PM  
Blinko, that is a small town, small paper. You likely made the front page when the new issue comes out. "Server farked in 20 seconds"
2004-11-14 11:04:10 PM  
does that mean I have to worry about authorities busting down the door of my idyllic Canadian home?
2004-11-14 11:07:49 PM  
The article is this close to opening for me.
2004-11-14 11:08:02 PM  
Yeah, I think we farked the server already. Wait, I mean ya'll.

I didn't even get to RTFA and I live in NC. Thanks a lot. =P
2004-11-14 11:08:16 PM  
If it is Carolina Beach, I got a DWI in that town riding a bicycle. It might have been the same sidewalk.
2004-11-14 11:12:53 PM  
Volfan, y'all need to head on over yonder.
2004-11-14 11:14:48 PM  
"The whole period's become in Gately's sober memory just the vague era of the attack of the killer sidewalks. Quaaludes and 16oz Hefenreffers awakened Gately and his new droogs to the usually-dormant-but-ever-lurking ill will of innocent-seeming public sidewalks everywhere."
2004-11-14 11:18:32 PM  
2004-11-14 11:18:47 PM  
It's not ya'll, it's y'all. We had a long winded argument about this in modern grammar class here at state. We've decided that y'all is "you all" and ya'll is "ya will" or something stupid like that.

And this is what you damned blue staters get for visting my red state.

/didn't vote for Bush and hates republicans.
2004-11-14 11:19:35 PM  
it be farked, mofo
2004-11-14 11:22:37 PM  
I for one hope that the federal government will detain and kill these terrorist sidewalks as soon as possible.
2004-11-14 11:22:38 PM  
this thread is funny, I think the ya'll/y'all debate will spur me to new heights of snarly misanthropic humour for weeks to come...I LOVE YOU GUYS
2004-11-14 11:23:51 PM  
I boobytrapped the sidewalks in front of my house in Cary.

/damn kids walking on MY lawn.. that'll show 'em!
2004-11-14 11:29:37 PM  

Don't be scared of the possessive "y'all's." As in, y'all's car is about to get towed.
2004-11-14 11:30:02 PM  
I thought the people in Cary were too good to walk on sidewalks. j/k That's alot different from people here in Durham. They just walk in the middle of the street.
2004-11-14 11:30:17 PM  
its farked now
2004-11-14 11:32:05 PM  
I'm no prize but DAMN!
Wouldn't "y'all's" turn into "your'n" in that case?
2004-11-14 11:32:23 PM  
I blame John Edwards
2004-11-14 11:35:43 PM  
I don't even live in North Carolina, yet I love nothing better than to "lye and Snore, till the sun has run one third his course, and disperst all the unwholesome damps."

So, 81 year old geezer falls on sidewalk, and he was attacked? He was probably just out walking too early, before "the sun has run one third his course, and disperst all the unwholesome damps."

Should have stayed home to "lye and Snore."

Full kudos to Duckbutt59 for one of the best posts of the month.
2004-11-14 11:37:15 PM  

No! Not in Texas anyway.
2004-11-14 11:37:34 PM  
boy_from_easter_island, are you heading north to "Pixburgh" with "you'uns" (pron. yu-ins)?
2004-11-14 11:37:35 PM  
Am I the only one picturing a scraggly-haired overall-clad Councilman Jim Dougan intimidating potential contractors with a two-by-four?

"You'd better fix those sidewalks...Or the Hacksaw's gonna fix you!"
2004-11-14 11:38:38 PM  
Can't believe I'll be the first to say it. Duke sucks!
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