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(CNN)   Aliens will arrive at Olympics between noon and five pm today, will whine until they get gold in something   (robots.cnn.com) divider line 96
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4827 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Feb 2002 at 12:22 PM (12 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2002-02-21 12:24:19 PM  
Too bad we will shoot down any unidentified aircraft.
 
2002-02-21 12:25:24 PM  
One word:

Heaven's Gate.

Ok, two words.

"There could be a spaceship in the tail of that comet. There COULD be!"

Put on yer Nikes.
 
fj
2002-02-21 12:26:14 PM  
Mexicans are already at the olympics, aren't they?
 
2002-02-21 12:26:21 PM  
It will probably just be a few migrant workers without green cards asking for directions.
 
2002-02-21 12:26:30 PM  
I'm assuming that's western standard time. or wait, is it mountain? no, no, i think it's western. yeah.
 
2002-02-21 12:27:27 PM  
hope they dont run into any buildings..
 
2002-02-21 12:27:33 PM  
"Vazquez thought they said illegal aliens so she signed up"
-Corporal Hudson
 
2002-02-21 12:27:35 PM  
"The Aliens are coming, the Aliens are coming..."


*grabs lawn chair, bag of Cheetos and six pack of Penn Pilsner and bellies up to the landing area with Miss Cleo
 
fj
2002-02-21 12:27:54 PM  
Isn't it a little cold for landscaping?
 
2002-02-21 12:28:15 PM  
"If I'd known you were coming, I'd have baked a cake..."

Ashcroft will probably have them detained on bad paperwork.
 
2002-02-21 12:29:00 PM  
I thought the mormons in Utah were aliens
 
2002-02-21 12:29:50 PM  
The lady is a flake and she's getting her 15 minutes of fame.
 
fj
2002-02-21 12:30:17 PM  
They will be arriving in old pickup trucks, at least 15 per truck.
 
2002-02-21 12:31:08 PM  
Is conquering Earth considered an Olympic event?
 
2002-02-21 12:31:19 PM  
This thread is just begging for South Park references.
 
fj
2002-02-21 12:31:23 PM  
Won't you all be surprised when the giant burrito lands in the middle of a medal ceremony?
 
2002-02-21 12:32:14 PM  
Four-man bob, coached by a zombiefied John Candy.
 
2002-02-21 12:32:40 PM  
Hey...
I'm not a lumberjack, or a fur trader...
and I don't live in an igloo, or eat blubber, or own a dogsled...
and I don't know Jimmy, Sally or Suzy from Canada,
although I'm certain they're really, really nice.

I have a Prime Minister, not a President.
I speak English & French, NOT American.
and I pronounce it 'ABOUT', NOT 'A BOOT'.

I can proudly sew my country's flag on my backpack.
I believe in peace keeping, NOT policing.
DIVERSITY, NOT assimilation,
AND THAT THE BEAVER IS A TRULY PROUD AND NOBLE ANIMAL.

A TOQUE IS A HAT, A CHESTERFIELD IS A COUCH,
AND IT IS PRONOUNCED 'ZED' NOT 'ZEE', 'ZED'!!!
CANADA IS THE SECOND LARGEST LANDMASS!
THE FIRST NATION OF HOCKEY! AND THE BEST PART OF NORTH AMERICA!
 
2002-02-21 12:32:51 PM  
I'm an alien
I'm a legal alien
I'm an Englishman in New York
 
2002-02-21 12:34:01 PM  
"They will spread their message of Peace above the city."

God I hope the air force blasts them out of the sky.
 
2002-02-21 12:34:11 PM  
I AM AMERICAN

Wassup...
I'm not particularly intelligent, open-minded, or well-liked.
And I don't live in a safe place, eat a balanced diet, or drive very well.
I don't know Shakespeare, Da Vinci or Gutenberg,
although I'm pretty sure they were American.

I drink beer, not water, I am outspoken, not opinionated,
Guns settle disputes, not discussions.
Winning isn't everything, it's the ONLY thing,
And it's pronounced RUFF, not ROOF.

I can proudly sew my country's flag on my backpack, unless I go somewhere.
Burger King IS fine dining. Washing after peeing is for LOSERS,
Twinkies and Moon Pies ARE GOOD for breakfast,
I have a SHED, NOT a GARAGE, and WWF ACTION IS REAL!
The UNITED STATES OF AMERICA is the ONLY country in the world,
The FIRST nation of IGNORANCE,
And the BEST part of SOUTH AMERICA!!
MY NAME IS JIM-BOB, I am married to my sister,
AND I AM AMERICAN!!!!!!!
 
2002-02-21 12:35:59 PM  
If the government has no knowledge of aliens, then why does Title 14, Section 1211 of the Code of Federal Regulations, implemented on July 16,1969, make it illegal for U.S. citizens to have any contact with extra terrestrials or their vehicles?
 
2002-02-21 12:37:47 PM  
Greetings Marklar.
 
2002-02-21 12:38:40 PM  
FLA Chickie: have a link on that? Sounds interesting.
 
2002-02-21 12:39:22 PM  
Looks like Shortround is suffering from penis envy
 
TV
2002-02-21 12:39:25 PM  
you'll see, yes indeed you'll see. then who's gonna be wearing the tin foil hat, huh? i can't wait for all you non-believers to shiat your pants when you come face to face with the space invader.
 
2002-02-21 12:40:00 PM  
ifthishappenediwouldbelikeohshiattherereallyarealiensandiwouldhavetoappoligizet oartbellandallofthefolksithoughtwerecrazybeforeandthenthealienswouldramaprobeu pmyassandiwouldfartfirelikeericcartmanandiwouldbelikewheeeeeee
 
2002-02-21 12:40:32 PM  
Shortround: We too are proud of our beavers. Sometimes we even shave them to keep them comfy in summertime. A chesterfield is a ciggy, a couch is a couch, and a horse is a horse, of course.

But hey, Vancouver has to be one of the most beautiful cities in N. America and its loaded with really good looking women. Go canucks.
 
2002-02-21 12:41:50 PM  
"I think a lot of people will see it," Liljenquist said, "I hope it's good weather."

Why the hell would aliens, who want people to see them, fly above the clouds so they can't be seen? I can't wait to hear this broad's excuses when they don't show... 'Oh, the weather was bad so we couldn't see them'.... 'oh, they decided to put it off for an unspecified period of time'.
 
2002-02-21 12:42:49 PM  
This was funnier when it WAS POSTED YESTERDAY!!!
 
2002-02-21 12:44:02 PM  
Shortround: Yes, Americans are all those things. The only thing worse I think would have your sole national identity being trying to convince the world that you're not an American (while watching American TV and movies, driving American cars, eating American fast food, having your defenses and economy integrated with American's, speaking the same language with virutally the same accent, living within 100 miles of America....).

p.s. I actually like Canada and Canadians...just thought that required a reality break.
 
2002-02-21 12:44:08 PM  
Oh my god The Vogons are coming to demolish Earth so the box on the form can be checked off !!!! ESCAPE, FOLLOW THE DOLPHINS !! Are you here, Ford Prefect, I need a lift fast ! Oh yeah, and thanks for all the fish, you soon to be dead Farkers !
 
2002-02-21 12:44:14 PM  
Stephenv: http://www.beyondweird.com/etlaw.html
 
2002-02-21 12:44:14 PM  
Hey...

I'm not a truck driver or unemployed...

and I don't live in a trailer, or eat roadkill, or own a camero...

and I don't know Bubba, Cletus or Tanga Ray from Mississippi,

although I'm certain they're really, really inbred.



I have a Govenor, not a President.

I speak English & southern, NOT redneck.

and I pronounce it 'GET', NOT 'GIT'.



I can proudly sew my state's flag on my backpack.

I believe in finishing what you start, NOT lobbing a few cruise missles and calling it a day.

ADAPTATION, NOT diversity,

AND THAT THE CRITTER IS A TRULY PROUD AND NOBLE ANIMAL(we have yet to identify).



A TOKE IS A BLUNT HIT, A CHESTERFIELD IS A CIGARETTE,

AND IT IS PRONOUNCED 'PA-KHAN' NOT 'PEE-CAN', 'PA-KHAN'!!!

MISSISSIPPI IS A STATE!

WE ARE NOT ALL RACISTS! AND OUR FAMILY TREES DO FORK!
 
2002-02-21 12:45:10 PM  
From the Simpsons:

Alien : "I bring you love"

Lenny: "He's bringing us love! Break his legs!"
 
2002-02-21 12:45:43 PM  
Stephenv: http://www.geocities.com/CapitolHill/Congress/2301/law.html
 
2002-02-21 12:45:51 PM  
Shorthand
and I pronounce it 'ABOUT', NOT 'A BOOT'

No, you don't. You don't you don't, you don't. I have rarely heard a Candain say "egh!" after everything as people always seem to say that Candians do, but I have some very good Candain friends, have lived miles from the border and they say they don't, but they all say "oot."

(oh and I do wash my hands after I use the bathroom)
 
2002-02-21 12:46:35 PM  

International Olympic Committee meeting in emergency session to approve "Intergalatic Travel" as Olympic event.
 
2002-02-21 12:48:04 PM  
Y'know, it seems that the sole (or major) criterion for getting a link posted is its potential flammability.

Not that that's a bad thing...
 
2002-02-21 12:49:31 PM  
If they show up with a book entitled "To Serve Man", RUN!

Actually, imagine if this really happened. Mrs. Mystical Godess's vision of living in peace wouldn't last long. Conspiracy theorists will start up. The government will immediately declare them as a possible threat to national security. Oh, and lets not forget the religious outcry; since they're not mentioned in the bible they're sent by satan, etc etc.
 
2002-02-21 12:50:52 PM  
I like aliens. I especially like their probes...
 
2002-02-21 12:51:09 PM  
i hope they bring their skates.
 
2002-02-21 12:51:44 PM  
I said it yesterday, and I'll say it again:
"The Brotherhood of Light?" WTF kinda name is that? Sounds like something made up by some wussy spinster with forty cats, inspirational plaques on the walls, and lace on her toilets. Wouldn't they be called "Galactic Penetrators," or "Most High Supreme Command of the Interplanteray Hegemony," or "Kdjssptna!!ksius%jsiejhnuj," or maybe just "Bob?"
 
2002-02-21 12:52:26 PM  
I have my arsenal and weapons training, Meshman. ...Let the world fall apart.
 
2002-02-21 12:53:46 PM  
I'm interested to hear her reaction when NOTHING HAPPENS TODAY.
 
2002-02-21 12:54:35 PM  
I thought the "Olympic city" was in Europe someware? Like Athens or something.
 
2002-02-21 12:57:47 PM  
Same post as yesterday
 
2002-02-21 12:58:25 PM  
Scrubjosh- she'll most likely claims that "nonbeliever bad vibes" scared them off, or that they were in a special plane of existance that only loonies like her could access.
 
2002-02-21 01:01:48 PM  
Shortround:You're too much! As an American citizen,I can
take the bashing with a sense of humor and appreciation
for a good insult. However, we Americans do this on a
regular basis to our own fellow countrymen regardless of
race, creed, or color. It's called the right to free speech
and you ( and anyone else who enjoys it) can thank us for it. Now, we are in the midst of a serious drought down here
and pretty soon we'll be looking for water and...hey..you
guys got lots of water. We will annex Canada as the 51st
state and send you guys all to France. They'll surrender
at the sight of the first boatload:)
 
2002-02-21 01:02:59 PM  
So the pope is having a quick ciggy when one of the cardinals runs up to him.
"Hey, pope," he pants, "I've got good news and bad news."
"OK, wassa da good news," the pope replies in his new italian accent (just trying to fit in).
"Jeebus has returned to earth!" the cardinal exclaims.
"That's good," says pope, "Wassa da bad news?"
"Well," says the cardinal, "He's in Salt Lake right now."

Rim shot.
 
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