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(Nettavisen)   If a victim is yelling at you to stop doing CPR on him, he probably doesn't need more CPR   ( divider line
    More: PSA  
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10721 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Nov 2004 at 5:03 PM (13 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

52 Comments     (+0 »)

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2004-11-09 03:47:47 PM  
2004-11-09 03:52:58 PM  
He's in shock, he doesn't know what he needs. You do CPR until they've regained enough strength to make you stop.
2004-11-09 04:19:34 PM  
2004-11-09 03:47:47 PM Buck Futter

OK, that made me laugh.
2004-11-09 04:30:17 PM  
Yeah, since CPR isn't indicated when the patient is breathing, it should be a dead giveaway when they tell you to stop...
2004-11-09 05:05:17 PM  
Yah, but was she hot?

2004-11-09 05:08:23 PM  
Same thing with if someone tells you they're choking, they're full of shiat...
2004-11-09 05:09:32 PM  
My heaven, the patient only has one bellybutton as well. Prep me for surgery !
2004-11-09 05:10:53 PM  
Bet he just wanted to touch her bjoobies.
2004-11-09 05:11:01 PM  
Naw, it was a massage.
2004-11-09 05:11:53 PM  
isnt it kind of stupid when people use the psa tag for things that are obviously not psa's.

/off topic
2004-11-09 05:11:58 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2004-11-09 05:12:09 PM  
A perfect example of a frivolous malpractice case Bush will bring an end to...

/RTFA, know it wasn't in US
//flamewar? what flamewar??
2004-11-09 05:12:20 PM  
Doc probably just wanted to cop a feel.
2004-11-09 05:13:15 PM  
is there a Norway tag? I am voting for that, 'cause those people get up to some wacky shenanigans
2004-11-09 05:13:41 PM  
Doc just wanted to keep his hands on her chest.
2004-11-09 05:13:45 PM  
did this cpr technique involve tongue?
2004-11-09 05:13:54 PM  
"Us Griffins never know when to quit."

or something like that ...
2004-11-09 05:14:39 PM  
What is clear is that the good doctor is a perv. He attempted to prey upon the presumed ignorance of his patient by telling her that she needed CPR -- his actual intentions were to fondle her goodies.

What is not clear is why emergency personnel were called and who called them. It was obviously not to the doctor's benefit to have other medical personnel involved.

The only alternative to the perv explanation is that the doctor is either: a) an idiot, b) mentally ill. Surely it cannot be possible for someone to become a doctor without knowing that conscious people do not need CPR.
2004-11-09 05:14:45 PM  
A doctor told a conscious, coherent woman she had no pulse? Wow, I wonder what med school is like in Norway.
2004-11-09 05:15:30 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2004-11-09 05:16:43 PM  
This dude is a moran. You can farking kill somebody doing CPR on them if their heart is going.
2004-11-09 05:16:47 PM  
I love the PSA tag.
2004-11-09 05:17:15 PM  
Doesn't CPR usually involve applying enough pressure to sometimes break the ribs? He couldn't have been giving her real CPR. I mean, how could someone lay there and take that? If he was doing it for real, that fool could have caused some real damage.
2004-11-09 05:17:30 PM  
I vote for a Norway tag:

Fark for Forrest was in court today, and the defendant dropped his pants:
SFW unless you have a mangnifying glass(pops)
2004-11-09 05:17:32 PM  
Buck Futter nailed it. Done.
2004-11-09 05:24:14 PM  
I still remember the caller who called in and told me her husband was dead. She told me he was unconcious, not breathing, etc. I was walking her through CPR and when I told her to tilt his head back (to open the airway) she told me, "I can't, he keeps pushing me away." One of those where I had to laugh after the medics got there, lest I cry.
2004-11-09 05:27:47 PM  
In Russia, the unconscious women do CPR on YOU!
2004-11-09 05:28:02 PM  
"Quick! Someone do CPR!"

"Left a good job in the city,
Workin' for The Man ev'ry night and day,
And I never lost one minute of sleepin...."

"Not CCR! CPR!"
2004-11-09 05:28:59 PM  
If this was a female doing the CPR, the guy wouldn't complain... unless he's gay.
2004-11-09 05:33:01 PM  
Some people are just dumb. How they can be that dumb and still make it through medical school is beyond me, however.

Any doctor that needs first aid training also needs to have a licence or two revoked...
2004-11-09 05:33:40 PM  
Buck Futter wins.

Everyone else can move on to the next thread. Nothing more to read here.
2004-11-09 05:37:26 PM  

We can't move on until someone posts a picture of Dr. Nick. He sounds kind of like he is from Norway, doesn't he?
2004-11-09 05:37:34 PM  
C-P-R re-sussc-i-tate!
What a way to get a date!
2004-11-09 05:45:11 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

Hello everybody!
2004-11-09 05:47:46 PM  
NOW SPREAD EM..time to check the plumbing
2004-11-09 05:51:05 PM  

Thanks a bunch! Ok, now everyone can leave.
2004-11-09 05:52:52 PM  
Photo of the doctor involved...

[image from too old to be available]

"It's just CPR, folks! KALI MAL!!! KALIIIII MAAAAAL!!!"
2004-11-09 05:58:03 PM  
I think that lady is the dumbass in this situation.

If your heart wasn't beating, I'm guessing you would know it.

Wonder what would have happened if he told her he was going to check her prostate.
2004-11-09 06:02:50 PM  
It is true that her heart may have actually been stopped and she could have regained conciousness and that without the CPR, she'd die. CPR, done right, can pump enough blood around to the important bits, such as the brain, and as long as there is respiration, the victim can be conscious.

The doctor didn't do anything wrong, although this probably doesn't happen very often.
2004-11-09 06:03:45 PM  
he was just trying to feel some cleavage.....

so.... sexual assault, not malpractice
2004-11-09 06:07:25 PM  
Funny story. I hope she was hot, because that boy is gonna have trouble.
2004-11-09 06:24:11 PM  
Yeah, when I was an EMT I knew several instances of idiot bystanders doing CPR on people (in a couple instances they even indicated that the person was talking to them at the time).

They would usually get indignant when we'd point out that doing CPR on real-live people was probably a bad thing, in general.
2004-11-09 06:29:06 PM  

Oh please. If you've ever even had a palpitation of the heart once, you'd KNOW about it. If your heart actually stopped, your adrenal gland alone would go into four-alarm-purple-alert-here-come-the-terrorists-I-want-my-momma-defco​n-1 that you couldn't ignore. I find it highly improbable that someone could be with a doctor when her heart just *stops* and she doesn't notice. You'd pass out in about 10 seconds. It would take the doctor longer to take your pulse properly. He's either incompetent, or wanted to cop a feel.
2004-11-09 06:47:49 PM  
Usage surrenders.

doesnt = doesn't (does + not)
anymore = any more (anymore = adverb)
Blank space at the end of the headline = .

/usage Nazi
2004-11-09 07:21:10 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
Either this woman's dead , or my watch has stopped!
2004-11-09 07:52:35 PM  
Buck Futter

OK, after 5 minutes of laughing I can say that you win the thread.
2004-11-09 08:02:59 PM  
And all they want to do is send him to a first aid course.
2004-11-09 08:33:02 PM  
I was a medic in the service. Yeah, doctors can be that stupid. Or he was a perv and was used to 'giving cpr' to chicks. I knew medics (of both sexes) that would use any excuse to grope a patient. There's a lot of good people out there but there's also some real freaks.
2004-11-09 08:42:57 PM  
Another victory for socialized medicine


That reminds me of the South African janitor that killed a bunch of patients because he kept unplugging the life support equipment in a room because he needed a place to plug in the vacuum cleaner. As I recall, all he got was a reprimand.
2004-11-09 09:30:21 PM  
AChangedMan: I don't think I've ever seen a fark headline with a period at the end. Seems to be the convention, so the submitter can hardly be criticized for that. The other points, however, are another matter entirely.
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