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(SeattlePI)   Machete-wielding homeowner fights off three gunmen who tried to rob him. Neighbors join the fray with baseball bats and rifles   ( divider line
    More: Spiffy  
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16650 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Nov 2004 at 9:27 AM (12 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

66 Comments     (+0 »)

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2004-11-08 04:49:02 AM  
Finally my hometown on Lynnwood makes it to fark, and on the day I join TF no less. I'm so proud.
2004-11-08 04:50:10 AM  
on = of, and i proof read that too.

2004-11-08 04:55:23 AM  
we all see you as a dunce now. Sorry about your luck.
2004-11-08 05:05:28 AM  
And people have made fun of me for sleeping with a machete at the head of me bed. Looks like I shall get the last laugh. Ha ha!
2004-11-08 05:51:16 AM  
i reckon that people with machetes and those human-based-inertia weapons are scarier than that guns.

heh, i dunno,just seems like theyre more likely to use em.

This just proves that.
2004-11-08 07:22:44 AM  
Yeah thanks jonasborg, I expected nothing less!
2004-11-08 09:34:23 AM  
Where's the Hero tag?
2004-11-08 09:37:19 AM  
I think I saw this movie once. It was called The 'Burbs, iirc.
2004-11-08 09:37:30 AM  
You want my TV and Picasso paintings! Try and take them with no arms!


/Kung-fu movies imitate life.
2004-11-08 09:37:56 AM  
I wonder when the robbers will sue the homeowner for the pain and suffering of their arse beating ?
2004-11-08 09:40:04 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
2004-11-08 09:41:53 AM  
Why do people always rag on trailer parks? They seem so exciting.
2004-11-08 09:42:03 AM  
Lord Farkwad, that only happens (successfully) in the UK, where it's pretty much a sure deal.
2004-11-08 09:46:28 AM  
And they went BLUE in the last election!?
2004-11-08 09:48:23 AM  
Authorities believe drugs were involved

Was that before or after the fight?
2004-11-08 09:48:48 AM  
Snohomish! Woo hoo! Someone tried to threadjack last week with an article about this county! I've been wanting to read about Snohomish ever since!

/Easily excited: My truck is fixed today at $1800 BELOW the estimate!
//Day won't be complete without a boobies or peener thread.
2004-11-08 09:50:40 AM  
"Authorities believe drugs were involved." Why else would some one want to rob a TRAILER HOME? Their sense of judgment was LONG GONE!
2004-11-08 09:53:40 AM  
Washington State?
I'm surprised the cops didn't arrest the capatalist pig, violent, nazi homeowner and treat those brave, opressed freedom fighters who were just trying to effect a redistribution of wealth to a Starbuck's
2004-11-08 09:53:43 AM  

/misses "Cow and Chicken"
2004-11-08 09:56:46 AM  
There can be only one.

/surprised I'm the first to say it today...
2004-11-08 09:57:03 AM  
"Thats (Smack) what you get (Smack) for farking around (Smack)with yakuzas old men in trailers!!"
2004-11-08 09:58:52 AM  
Machettes and baseball bats and guns.....what the hell is the name of that trailer park, "Uganda Orchards"?
2004-11-08 10:07:14 AM  
Sounds like Double Dragon...

/Billy Lee and Jimmy Lee unavailable for comment
2004-11-08 10:07:25 AM  
What about the cricket bats, lacrosse sticks and sand wedges??? Huh??

Remember! For home defense, think 'Wilson' athletic supplies!
2004-11-08 10:08:29 AM  
ALWAYS bring a machete to a gun fight.
2004-11-08 10:09:46 AM  

I think it might have been "Hutu Hills" though.

This story reminds me of my friend who had a straightened tire iron. No good for changing tires, he kept it under his bed.
2004-11-08 10:10:42 AM  
trailer park + guns + drugs = normal, no news
trailer park + guns + drugs + machete - now there's news!

...still wondering if the guy that took the machete to the gunfight asked the fateful question:
"do you want machete?"

Lord Farkwad: pain and suffering lawsuit no doubt on the way...after all, it happened in a blue (read: entitlement) state

/allright. I'll stop
/wonder if it was a double-wide with a garden tub?
2004-11-08 10:14:46 AM  
Do you want Machete?
2004-11-08 10:21:16 AM  
"Reach out and sneer: Dem radicals speak to the Red States"
got to love the reg...
2004-11-08 10:21:47 AM  
do you want machete

I guarantee you somebody will take that as their Fark Name. I put the over/under at 10 min.

Note that I'm not taking it myself.
2004-11-08 10:27:27 AM  
He brought a knife to a gun fight... guess in can work sometimes.
2004-11-08 10:29:03 AM  

Repetitive messages: Cross-posting, flooding, spamming, advertising for a website, etc. If there's a website out there that people need really need to see - or if you would like more exposure for your own - please use our Classifieds section (and gird your servers for the incoming traffic).
2004-11-08 10:29:12 AM  
[image from too old to be available]

[image from too old to be available]
2004-11-08 10:30:27 AM  
In a related note, Lurlene's velvet Elvis portrait and 8-track collection were unharmed.
2004-11-08 10:31:21 AM  
[image from too old to be available]

Unavailable for comment.
2004-11-08 10:32:48 AM  
I wonder:

If they were defending their right to play GTA SA missions without interuption?

Or if they were inspired to enact against these attackers via what they have seen and done in GTA SA?

Wait. Trailer park? Nah, couldn't a PS2 much less GTA SA.

/but manhunt is half-price now
2004-11-08 10:33:37 AM  
Now hold on just a minute! This story is clearly a lie, the three men who had guns were criminals, and as any liberal will tell you, there are pieces of paper signed by Governors and Presidents that criminals can't own guns. And since criminals can't own guns, there is no reason to have weapons in your home. Move along, don't read this story, do not defend yourselves from criminals that don't exist, and if they do exist, and liberals are not saying they do, then just comply with whatever they say or do, mkay.
2004-11-08 10:34:50 AM  
[image from too old to be available]

Also unavailable for comment.
2004-11-08 10:36:55 AM  

What are you on about?
2004-11-08 10:45:15 AM  
Actually, this article forgot to mention the gunmen will now file a suit against this man and his neighbors for emotional distress and anguish.

1st gunman: "Yes it's true I had a gun, but I could not protect myself against a man with a machete. I was stricken with fear. He has permanently damaged my sense of reality. I can no longer look at knives. How am I suppose to cut my food now? I demand justice!
2004-11-08 10:54:17 AM  
Damnit, you're not listening, there are no criminals don't you get it? These were not gunmen, they were victims of greedy people who don't want to share their property. You're a monster for calling these 3 poor guys gunmen!
2004-11-08 11:03:44 AM  
Bwahaha ! do you want machete with that ?
/serves 'em right, the bastids
2004-11-08 11:16:18 AM  

Buy a classified, asshat.
2004-11-08 11:16:18 AM  
Yeah, we have a wee bit of a Meth problem up here in the NW don't we?
2004-11-08 11:17:30 AM  
...and the man with the machete suffered minor cuts...

Isn't it ironic??? Maybe just a coincidence.....

/Glad the neighbors helped
/Agree the bad guys will sue for damages
2004-11-08 11:21:35 AM  
I didn't read the article, but I got a kick out of the headline.
2004-11-08 11:27:10 AM  
Authorities believe drugs were involved.

Say it ain't so!
2004-11-08 11:50:37 AM  
I'll defer to Soap from Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels:

"Also, I think knives are a good idea. Big, fark-off shiny ones. Ones that look like they could skin a crocodile. Knives are good, because they don't make any noise, and the less noise they make, the more likely we are to use them. Shiat 'em right up. Makes it look like we're serious. Guns for show, knives for a pro."

Thanks to xJoe for the inspiration.
2004-11-08 11:55:20 AM  
Man, I've read several articles lately where a machete wielding person protected his family and property against bad guys. I gotta think about getting me one of these machetes -, maybe?

I'd expect someone would get some pretty nasty "cuts" by being on the sharp side of one of these. You'd think there'd be more parts needing to be reattached and stuff.

Heartwarming ending tho.
2004-11-08 12:08:25 PM  

That has got to be the most rediculous bunch of shiat I have ever heard, and that's saying something. You have got to be one of the most idiotic trolls I have seen on fark. And for the record, I think this is pretty farking hilarious. Asshat gunmen got what they deserved, and any jury that awards them jack shiat needs to be removed from the gene pool as well.
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