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(Mainichi Daily News)   Woman chokes to death during bread-eating contest   (mdn.mainichi.co.jp) divider line 78
    More: Obvious  
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16893 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Nov 2004 at 5:00 PM (9 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2004-11-07 02:01:11 PM
I guess a yeast infection can be deadly.

She sould have popped in a few monostats before atempting this feat.
 
2004-11-07 02:14:46 PM
Eating contests are just weird and stupid, IMHO.

Of course, I feel that way about most commercial sports, too.
 
2004-11-07 02:15:30 PM
OBVIOUS
 
2004-11-07 02:43:50 PM
Does she get the consolation prize?
 
2004-11-07 03:14:21 PM


Karma.
 
2004-11-07 03:18:43 PM
wow, it took the japs 9 hours to decide she was dead?

remind me to never seek medical attention in Kobe.
 
2004-11-07 05:04:58 PM
how is this obivous?
 
2004-11-07 05:06:26 PM
Obvious? It's not obvious. People participate in eating competitions all the time. More like sad.
 
2004-11-07 05:08:01 PM
read the story on the right about the old man being mugged in the gay quarter

With two other men about the same age beside him, the younger man frog-marched his elderly victim to the nearby park toilet. (Mainichi Shimbun, Nov. 7, 2004)

frog marched, is that what the kids are calling it these days...
 
2004-11-07 05:08:02 PM
A perfect example of why our mother's always said chew your food.
 
2004-11-07 05:08:34 PM
Tis a slow day for news...
 
2004-11-07 05:08:52 PM
I guess that should be to the left
 
2004-11-07 05:09:43 PM
Good riddance. Anyone who takes part in an eating contest deserves a horrible death.
 
2004-11-07 05:10:43 PM
Her last words were:
"OFFLLLLLFFFFFF FLLLEWEEELAAALFFFFFFFFFFF"
 
2004-11-07 05:10:46 PM
 
2004-11-07 05:12:42 PM
"Police believe the bread had caused her to choke."
Not only did it take the doctors 9 hours to declare her dead, the police seem to be top-notch as well...
 
2004-11-07 05:13:01 PM
Eating contest? Soooooooooooweeeeeeeeeee! Pig.Oh and 9 hours to declare her dead...they DO make some nice some nice televisions.
 
2004-11-07 05:15:20 PM
only "one" some nice...not Japanese.
 
2004-11-07 05:19:59 PM
chatafracas

One way to get to a "jap hospital" is by calling japanese people "japs"

/haha, just kidding, the mexicans are a clean and industrious people with a rich cultural heritage.
//"the more you know"
 
2004-11-07 05:20:51 PM
I see no problem with the 9 hours. She probably fell unconscious, they removed the blockage, but she had already taken brain damage. She hovered between life and death for 9 hours, then passed away. Come on, guys.
 
2004-11-07 05:22:59 PM
Psh, lightweights.



"I'm still kinda hungry."
 
2004-11-07 05:25:56 PM
Gotta love the obvious tag. Carbs apparently are a more formidable enemy than anyone thought.
 
2004-11-07 05:29:09 PM
Women just can't handle their bread.
 
2004-11-07 05:30:37 PM
This story is funnier for the number of euphemisms for "prostitiute" used...
 
2004-11-07 05:32:14 PM
Will she be buried with the upper crust?Damn I'm such a heel.I feel so loavesome.
 
2004-11-07 05:32:50 PM


Wanted for questioning.
 
2004-11-07 05:35:06 PM
Don't get me started with bread jokes.
 
2004-11-07 05:37:09 PM
This guy could win most any eating contest. Guaranteed.



 
2004-11-07 05:37:24 PM
Lightgiver-by all means let's here them.
 
2004-11-07 05:40:16 PM
stretchednraked... try google
 
2004-11-07 05:40:23 PM
lets see, we have pale-blue, sky-blue, navy-blue, and now we have bread-blue?

/got nada
 
2004-11-07 05:50:28 PM
The Dangers of Bread

A recent Cincinnati Enquirer headline read, "SMELL OF BAKED BREAD MAY BE HEALTH HAZARD." The article went on to describe the dangers of the smell of baking bread. The main danger, apparently, is that the organic components of this aroma may break down ozone (I'm not making this stuff up).

I was horrified. When are we going to do something about bread-induced global warming? Sure, we attack tobacco companies, but when is the government going to go after Big Bread?

Well, I've done a little research, and what I've discovered should make anyone think twice ....

1. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread eaters.
2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests.
3. In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever and influenza ravaged whole nations.
4. More than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating bread.
5. Bread is made from a substance called "dough." It has been proven that as little as one pound of dough can be used to suffocate a mouse. The average American eats more bread than that in one month!
6. Primitive tribal societies that have no bread exhibit a low occurrence of cancer, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's disease and osteoporosis.
7. Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and given only water to eat, actually begged for bread after only two days.
8. Bread is often a "gateway" food item, leading the user to harder items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter and even cold cuts.
9. Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more than 90 percent water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey bread-pudding person.
10. Newborn babies can choke on bread.
11. Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute.
12. Most American bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling.



In light of these frightening statistics, we propose the following bread restrictions:

1. No sale of bread to minors.
2. No advertising of bread within 1000 feet of a school.
3. A 300 percent federal tax on all bread to pay for all the societal ills we might associate with bread.
4. No animal or human images, nor any primary colors (which may appeal to children) may be used to promote bread usage.
5. A $4.2 zillion fine on the three biggest bread manufacturers. Please send this e-mail on to everyone you know who cares about this crucial issue.



Remember: Think globally, act idiotically.
 
2004-11-07 05:50:52 PM
Calls to mind the banana-eating contest in that "Room 222" episode.
/I think red-headed guy won.
 
2004-11-07 05:52:18 PM
MAMA CASS? oh...nevermind that was ham


/got nuthin
 
2004-11-07 06:09:29 PM
How many of the people who commented in this thread have made it apparent that they simply cannot fathom what is inherently reprehensible about an eating contest of any kind in the year 2004?

/soulless/
//there is no there.....there//
 
2004-11-07 06:13:27 PM
wait. there was a large audience (of losers) watching this. are you telling me not one of them knew the heimlich maneuver? and the japanese are supposed to be so educated. ;)
 
2004-11-07 06:17:04 PM


Bravo!
Eating contests are one of the most wasteful and dispicable things people do for attention.
 
2004-11-07 06:21:54 PM
Did she win?

No, she choked.
 
2004-11-07 06:29:23 PM
bread? haha.

too bad she won't be gasoline drinking champion.
 
2004-11-07 06:34:29 PM
Sumbitter wins 10 Fark points for not using the IRONIC tag. *golf clap*
 
2004-11-07 06:39:50 PM
LightGiver, that is the funniest thing I've ever seen since the "dangers of dihydrogen monoxide" sketch.

I'm curious - did you have to fib any of those stats?
 
2004-11-07 06:47:56 PM
PWN3D!
 
2004-11-07 06:54:14 PM
Hey, she's got something in common with the Yankees.
 
2004-11-07 06:54:22 PM
I once gagged on a crumb during a cracker eating & whistling contest.
 
2004-11-07 06:56:07 PM

This woman doesn't have a problem with eating. No really. Clink on the link
 
2004-11-07 07:29:22 PM
Bread expands in your stomach. Therefore, bread-eating contest = not a good idea.

/obvious?
 
2004-11-07 07:32:42 PM
I don't know about all of you, but I could really go for some toast right now...perhaps with some butter and jam on top. :)
 
2004-11-07 07:34:38 PM
Babychaos; That's farking halarious. Is there a thread for that?
 
2004-11-07 07:47:07 PM
Osaka?

</probably obscure>
 
2004-11-07 07:57:19 PM
D'ough!
 
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