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(Zwire)   Fark car rental tips: Before returning your rental car, check for unexplainable dents, top off gas tank, remove loaded gun   ( divider line
    More: PSA  
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5633 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Oct 2004 at 11:59 AM (12 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

50 Comments     (+0 »)
2004-10-29 10:54:27 AM  
Fark car rental tips? What about remembering to get your boobies photos?
2004-10-29 12:01:23 PM  
Remove the roaches from the ashtray
2004-10-29 12:03:44 PM  
Dispose of the dead hooker in the trunk.
2004-10-29 12:04:04 PM  

And don't forget the dead hooker in the trunk.

Rented a car coupla weeks ago, and I couldn't understand it; me and the car agent walked around the car, checking it for dings and stuff before I took the car. There were quite a lot on the car, which makes me wonder; why don't they get that stuff repaired before the next rental ? If they won't then I don't see why putting one more dent on the car will matter that much to them.

2004-10-29 12:04:19 PM  
Remove any blood or brain matter from front bumper.
2004-10-29 12:04:52 PM  
I use to work for a car rental company back in the day. You'd be amased at how many bags of drugs we found. One of the guys had a nice pipe collection as well. Another guy collected all the womens underwear we found, very scary fellow. For some reason people never came back to claim those things.
2004-10-29 12:04:55 PM  
Also, clean ALL the weed residue out. The guys that rent the cars know what crumbled herb looks like... Mattafact, you might get free upgrades like I do all the time if you leave a little something in the car on purpose.

/Always calls the same Enterprise because I now know the Manager.
2004-10-29 12:05:34 PM  
"loaded gun" is redundant. If it's unloaded, it's just a club.
2004-10-29 12:07:19 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2004-10-29 12:08:14 PM  
"no officer, that isn't a gun on the front seat of my car. That is a club. I don't need to have a license for a club. What do you mean I am under arrest?"

/yeah, right
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2004-10-29 12:08:47 PM  
But it's all OK now, he's been admonished.
2004-10-29 12:09:12 PM  
Remove all clubs from car
2004-10-29 12:10:45 PM  
Figure out where the .50 caliber round came from
2004-10-29 12:11:37 PM  
Chief Wiggum unavailable for comment.
2004-10-29 12:11:48 PM  
I accidently left $9,000 in $20's in a rental car. It was an hour before I managed to track down the car at San Francisco airport. The car was being washed. The money was still there. I gave $20 to the guy washing the car and $20 to the manager who tracked it down.
It had slid off of the passenger seat while I was making a left hand turn. The bag also had my passport and tickets to Thailand.
2004-10-29 12:13:23 PM  
How many 13yr old Thai girls does $8960 get you these days?
2004-10-29 12:13:34 PM  
What about all of the blood on the passenger seat?
2004-10-29 12:13:38 PM  
Shoulda been the DUMBASS tag instead
2004-10-29 12:14:24 PM  
Well, I can see this happening. I like to wear shorts and a t-shirt most of the time. That really limits the options for a concealed carry holster. So I have a Thunderware holster that puts the weapon in the lower belly/crotch region. It is kind of uncomfortable when driving. So I remove the weapon and place it in a padded holster on the passenger seat. Or if I have a passenger, in the console.

I think it also sends a very mixed message when trouble starts and I reach down my shorts...
2004-10-29 12:14:36 PM  
Captain Coffee - Can someone say "Sex Tour"
2004-10-29 12:15:03 PM  
I personally think Johnny Knoxville took the cake with rentals.
Nothing like renting a car, then spray painting a #3 on it and taking it to a demolition derby and then returning it totaled with a blow up doll in the back.... swear those boys are nuts, or Jackasses actually :) but creative.
2004-10-29 12:18:00 PM  
How many Katoeys does $8960 get you in Thailand?
2004-10-29 12:21:54 PM  
Don't forget to put ham under the spare tire.
2004-10-29 12:25:43 PM  
MMMMMMM.... $8960 ham.....

//got nuthing
2004-10-29 12:25:49 PM  
Holy crap that is like 500 thai hookers. OR maybe 250 really hot thai hookers.

I would have kept the gun if it was something nice (HK, Sig, S&W). I usually add extra dents on the car before I take it off the lot just for good measure.

/gonna see more air time than a skate boarder at the x games
2004-10-29 12:33:54 PM  
Captain Coffee
I accidently left $9,000 in $20's in a rental car...The bag also had my passport and tickets to Thailand.

If that's the stuff he left in the car, makes you wonder what he remembered to take...
2004-10-29 12:36:26 PM  
If you spent it all on hookers you could get around 600. I went dirctly to Cambodia and bought sapphires.
I don't know Roscoe, how many katooeys would that get you? At least one and a donkey, I would think.
2004-10-29 12:37:16 PM  
Used to rent cars, woman left unsmoked doob in ashtray. She called to retrieve it, we said we pitched it. She got pissed, so I told her to call the cops & tell them that we stole her marijuana. That was some good shiat!
2004-10-29 12:46:33 PM  
Captain Coffee, damn sapphires in cambodia. Hope you had a gun and a good pair of shoes for jumping around the land mines.
2004-10-29 12:53:17 PM  
DuBose stated, "I did not realize I left it inside the rental car and did not realize it was missing because I had not worn the fanny pack since last Thursday."
Faron Young said he believes DuBose should be fired.

I think he should be fired, but not because of the gun. He wears a fanny pack.
2004-10-29 01:03:09 PM  
Okay, the cop made a boo-boo and left his gun there. He knows he farked up. BUT, a live .50 round? Jesus, I'd worry about
that more than the lost pistola. Does the person who lost the M2 round have more? Maybe they have an M2 at home?

I blame Bush.
2004-10-29 01:08:25 PM  
On separate occasions I've left a garage door opener and a bag of mulch in rental cars. They mailed me the opener back but not the mulch.

And I can certainly see not missing a gun for a week. What's one out of a hundred?

/What, you don't have a hundred guns? Pansy.
2004-10-29 01:11:24 PM  
Well what's the big deal anyway? The cops can do no wrong.
2004-10-29 01:14:20 PM  
No matter how many hookers $8960 will buy, one thing's for sure: Captain Coffee's dick fell off from disease within three months of the trip.
2004-10-29 01:17:54 PM  
And if you find a gun in a rental car, be sure to call the media, and wait for them to arrive before you call the cops or the rental car company.

Sheesh- suppose that car and gun had been used in a drive-by. Try explaining to the SWAT team why you didn't immediately call the police when you found it, if they don't shoot you when you're getting out of the car, that is.
2004-10-29 01:20:31 PM  
I'm with tbase on this, why the fark do you alert the media? Call the farking cops morans.
2004-10-29 01:22:30 PM  
Unavailable for comment:

[image from too old to be available]
2004-10-29 01:38:14 PM  
I left a good pair of sunglasses in a rental after a trip out to Cali. I hope whoever found them enjoys looking _at_ them, cause prescription sunglasses do no good for others looking _through_ them! :P Do rental car companies ever call you if they find something you left behind?
2004-10-29 01:55:35 PM  
If you can't trust a cop to be responsible with his off-duty weapon, doesn't that say something about what a bad idea it is to let any old joe blow have a gun?

And what on earth was this cop doing going loaded to his son's football game? Soccer mums surrender.
2004-10-29 02:03:15 PM  
Cerberus they don't. My rental car story...

-dropped off the car @ 5 AM
-inadvertantly left the cell sittingon the front seat
- Pass through airport security at 5:15(due to security I can't go back)
-Call rental car place 5:17 am.
-Talk to agent tell him that I dropped off car about 15 minutes ago. Could he get it and ship it to me he can add the the shipping charges or c.o.d. it
-"Let me connect you to lost and found"
-Answering machine
-Kiss phone good bye

From what I've heard nobody has ever gotten shiat back. Seems like it would be just good customer service.
2004-10-29 02:05:35 PM  
And trust me on this... don't rear-end someone on the way back to the rental return.
2004-10-29 02:09:27 PM  

Two blow up dolls. He had two blow up dolls in the back. I love that he tried to explain it away as "I.. um... swirved to miss a dog" or something like that.

I think Jeff Foxworthy said it best "Would ya like the extra insurance on this car? Yes I would, cause you got a Ford Fiesta that's about to see more airtime than a skateboard at the x-games."
2004-10-29 02:14:46 PM  
Picture of the officer involved:

[image from too old to be available]
2004-10-29 02:18:42 PM  
I thought you were supposed to leave the gun...

..and take the cannoli.
2004-10-29 02:28:13 PM  
5000_gallons_of_toothpaste, day late and a dollar short. Oh it's ford festiva. Wish they made em in 4x4, or rear wheel that would be a hell of a nice dune buggy.
2004-10-29 02:37:53 PM  
If someone can answer this for me.

Why did he contact the News Station because he found a gun in the car?
2004-10-29 03:38:40 PM  
So the moral of this story is..

in Thailand hookers are abundant and cheap..

/how much for a plane ticket to Thailand?
2004-10-29 03:59:43 PM  
... but after finding a live .50-caliber round behind the back seat, they decided to call the media.
DuBose has denied the round belonged to him.


Maybe it was this guy's?

[image from too old to be available]

Does *everyone* have .50 caliber rounds on them or what?
2004-10-29 04:01:01 PM  
They contacted the news station for their 10 seconds of fame as well as a video record for their lawsuit.

A trip to Costa Rica is a lot cheaper than Thailand, or so I've heard.

Always get the optional $10 insurance. $10 insurance and a car that you don't own equals a lot of fun.
2004-10-29 05:19:49 PM  
It's more than $10! It's usually $10+ per DAY, which is about 40% what I pay for the car itself... Add that to the fact that you have to pay your own deductible and it's not so much fun...

(easier to just report it stolen)
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