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(Chicago Sun-Times)   German archeologists discover toilet on which Martin Luther wrote the 95 Theses that launched the Protestant Reformation   (suntimes.com ) divider line
    More: Interesting  
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12867 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Oct 2004 at 4:16 PM (11 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2004-10-22 09:30:41 AM  
[image from myimgs.com too old to be available]

"It's beautiful!"
 
2004-10-22 09:45:55 AM  
I'm telling you, you come up some of your best ideas while sitting on the can.
 
2004-10-22 10:23:56 AM  
..and dubbed it the "Holy Crapper"
 
2004-10-22 10:34:07 AM  
holy shiat?
 
2004-10-22 11:35:59 AM  
The 95 Feces?
 
2004-10-22 12:29:43 PM  
Was there also a Playboy nearby?
 
2004-10-22 12:34:08 PM  
Thesis #96: The Pope may crap in the woods, but a Protestant uses a toilet, by God.
 
2004-10-22 12:43:58 PM  
Luther was cool. He became a monk because he was struck by lightning. He wasn't on the crapper when that happened.

If I could find it, I'd post a picture of the "epiphany toilet" from Scrubs here. Ah well.
 
2004-10-22 04:20:54 PM  
Wow, religion and toilets have more than one thing in common.
 
2004-10-22 04:21:49 PM  
Luther frequently alluded to the fact that he suffered from chronic constipation and spent much of his time in contemplation on the toilet.
 
2004-10-22 04:22:49 PM  
Yeah, he was going to just write some graffiti in the stall, but he got all carried away...
 
2004-10-22 04:23:21 PM  
would stop at letting the annual 80,000 visitors to Wittenberg sit on the toilet

Typical, whenever you find a bathroom there's a queue.
 
2004-10-22 04:23:34 PM  
I knew the Protestant Reformation was built on crap...
 
2004-10-22 04:24:05 PM  
[image from educ.msu.edu too old to be available]

The look of chronic constipation
 
2004-10-22 04:24:22 PM  
Wow, religion and toilets have more than one thing in common.

Meshman wins.

/checks sarcasm at the door
 
2004-10-22 04:24:49 PM  
"I just wanna see the spoons!"
 
2004-10-22 04:25:19 PM  
while little attention has been paid to anything three-dimensional and human behind them.

Unfortunate choice of phrase.
 
2004-10-22 04:25:26 PM  
Cakehunter - Catholics want to share their shiat with everyone
 
2004-10-22 04:25:39 PM  
Here I sit, upon the pot,
How to crap, I know not.
A good hard push,
from my tush,
I blow a hole
right through the bowl.
 
2004-10-22 04:25:48 PM  

Martin Luther: the original Tidy Bowl Man.


I wonder how he dealt with the backsplash when you pinch a loaf. Always gives me the shivers when that water hits.

/The more you know ...

 
2004-10-22 04:26:08 PM  
GIS for constipated

[image from maxspeak.org too old to be available]
 
2004-10-22 04:26:19 PM  
I don't know about ML, but whenever I take a well-earned shiat, I hear the theme from "Chariots of Fire" playing ...

/read Erikson's bio of ML in college
 
2004-10-22 04:26:29 PM  
The submitter should have replaced theses with feces...
 
2004-10-22 04:27:27 PM  
Even the headline was far too much information.

/the more you wish you didn't know
 
2004-10-22 04:27:49 PM  
95 Theses on Feces?
 
2004-10-22 04:27:54 PM  
UncleBuck4U: See what a Catholic upbringing will do to you?

Reminds me of Family Guy:
-------------------------
Peter Griffin: I'm looking for some toilet training books.

Salesman: We have the popular 'Everybody Poops", or the less popular 'Nobody Poops but You'.

Peter: Well, you see, we're Catholic...

Salesman: Ah, then you'll want 'You're a Naughty, Naughty Boy, and That's Concentrated Evil Coming Out the Back of You'.
 
2004-10-22 04:28:38 PM  
Protestantism is the shiat!
 
2004-10-22 04:28:42 PM  
Martin Luther was an anti-semetic piece of crap:

"Therefore be on your guard against the Jews, knowing that wherever they have their synagogues, nothing is found but a den of devils in which sheer selfglory, conceit, lies, blasphemy, and defaming of God and men are practiced most maliciously and veheming his eyes on them."
 
2004-10-22 04:28:52 PM  
That was outstanding, Rye_ !
 
2004-10-22 04:29:39 PM  
It's wonderful to think that this is the place where the first Protestant Movement was created.
 
2004-10-22 04:29:43 PM  
Luther was a class A loon. He thought he saw devils and demons all the time (not metaphorically either). A lot of his writings were edited since he was fond of using references to crap.

Originally, it wasn't "ink" that he threw at the devil.
 
2004-10-22 04:29:47 PM  
toilet also proclaims:

Metallica rocks sucks <- No you suck
Eat me more pudding.
 
2004-10-22 04:30:26 PM  
Now THAT explains a lot of his other quotes, particularly about women and Jews...
 
2004-10-22 04:30:46 PM  
So Luther was reading some of the current Catholic theological works, and said to himself: "You know, I could crap better theology than this!"
 
2004-10-22 04:31:36 PM  
And to think that entire Protestant sect is named after him...
 
2004-10-22 04:33:35 PM  
Theses95? I tried reading it but I keep getting the Blue Page of Death.
 
2004-10-22 04:33:39 PM  
You know, honestly, I feel the crapper is one of the few places I can TOTALLY relax. Its like you dont have to keep your bung tense or anything, you can literally let everything "go"

I love taking a shiat almost as much as I love eating...


/thin guy
 
2004-10-22 04:34:05 PM  
It's "to" bad the archeologists didn't use spellcheck.

so what, did they test for assprints? Do DNA samples on fossilized feces? Help me out here.

/DRTFA
 
2004-10-22 04:34:20 PM  
Martin Luther was hardly cool, even though he is the one who said, "Who loves not women, wine and song remains a fool his whole life long."

BUT WAIT! He also said:

"Reason is a whore, the greatest enemy that faith has."

AND:

"I am afraid that the schools will prove the very gates of hell, unless they diligently labor in explaining the Holy Scriptures and engraving them in the heart of the youth."

AND:

"The reproduction of mankind is a great marvel and mystery. Had God consulted me in the matter, I should have advised him to continue the generation of the species by fashioning them out of clay."

Oh well, if he lived today, he would have been a great troll to have in many a Fark flamewar.
 
2004-10-22 04:35:15 PM  
"Ouu, I created Lutherans!"

- Lisa
 
2004-10-22 04:35:42 PM  
It was quite a task to nail those 95 feces to the church door.
 
2004-10-22 04:35:46 PM  
Obviously Martin didn't have enough fibre in his diet.
 
2004-10-22 04:36:10 PM  
"Reason is a whore, the greatest enemy that faith has." -Martin Luther, that crazy ol' Anti-Semite witchburner.
 
2004-10-22 04:37:29 PM  
WTF?

"The 450-year-old toilet, which was very advanced for its time, is made out of stone blocks and, unusually, has a seat with a hole"

So most toilets back then didn't have a hole in the seat?
 
2004-10-22 04:37:38 PM  
Somebody needs to tack a list of 95 theses to George Bush's skull.

While he's on the toilet.
 
2004-10-22 04:38:21 PM  
Every religion was pulled out of someone's ass.
 
2004-10-22 04:38:43 PM  
He was also the first person to realize that turds are tapered so your asshole doesn't slam shut.
 
2004-10-22 04:39:03 PM  
"So far no epiphanies. Except that outdoor toilet seats are like frickin' icicles! Eh, at least no one saw me go...." -Elliot, from Scrubs
 
2004-10-22 04:39:18 PM  
So most toilets back then didn't have a hole in the seat?

Real Catholics crap their pants.
 
2004-10-22 04:39:34 PM  
Hope he washed his hands before nailing it to the door of the church.
 
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