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(NBC13)   Two bodies discovered in funeral home   ( divider line
    More: Weird  
•       •       •

17344 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Oct 2004 at 2:42 AM (12 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

71 Comments     (+0 »)

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2004-10-21 08:28:04 PM  
What the?
2004-10-21 08:45:26 PM  
I'd say greenlight this, give it a wierd tag, and do some serious editing on the headline, mods.
2004-10-21 08:48:15 PM  
Was the untouched room embalmed? How does one go about doing that?
2004-10-21 08:59:57 PM  
I'm loving the name of the deceased owner, "Pinkie L. Shortridge."
2004-10-21 09:54:13 PM  
What was he doing taking shortcuts through a burnt out building?
2004-10-21 10:09:36 PM  
Sorry about the headline - it should have the word "better" deleted...
2004-10-21 11:27:31 PM  
I didn't submit this, but I started to, and with "Pinkie Shortridge" in the headline, too. Curse my indecisiveness!
2004-10-21 11:30:04 PM  
Also, notice that the guy is a culinary student who wants to someday be an embalmer. Remind me not to eat in Birmingham anytime soon.
2004-10-22 01:31:35 AM  
Have some farking respect! The owner, Pinkie L. Shortridge (God bless him) died in 2003.
2004-10-22 01:42:37 AM  
Um, I obviously wasn't the first person to notice the tragic loss of Mr. Pinkie Shortridge. I apologize.
2004-10-22 02:49:01 AM  
Ahahah! I see at 2:48 ET Total*Farkers start waking up and posting.
2004-10-22 02:51:16 AM  
They just wanted to make things easier for their next of kin, is all...
2004-10-22 02:52:42 AM  
I couldn't make heads or tails of this article.
2004-10-22 02:53:08 AM  
"dropped a few dollars" = ancient Alabama euphemism for...
2004-10-22 02:54:51 AM  
Must have been a slow day if it was only 2 bodies in the funeral home.

/Obviously didn't RTFA
2004-10-22 02:55:44 AM  
This is one of the worst articles ever written in today's modern media. This person must have graduated from elementary journalism.
2004-10-22 03:00:21 AM  
joestaller - I don't understand. What part of the article made you think this person actually graduated? :-)
2004-10-22 03:05:42 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
2004-10-22 03:05:56 AM  
"We had heard way back it was two bodies in here, somebody called mom and pops, that nobody claimed,"
2004-10-22 03:12:10 AM  
Ok strange
2004-10-22 03:35:16 AM  
The day before, I had just walked through there because I had dropped a couple of dollars in there, and I had walked through that exact same door, and that casket was not sitting there," said Allen Clay, who lives next door to the defunct funeral home.

What? Why are people walking through a burnt out funeral home all the time?
2004-10-22 03:36:05 AM  
A funeral director named Pinkie?? That's pretty creepy.
2004-10-22 03:37:25 AM  
I have to say...


I mean, seriously. Why the hell did the dude "drop a few dollars" in a burnt out funeral home where he hadn't seen a casket that he knew wasn't there a couple of days before while apparently shortcutting through but then the neighbor that discovered the bodies didn't discover them because a gentleman came to the door of the neighbor who apparently wasn't a neigbor because he refers to him (who?) as a gentleman and asked if all the bodies had been taken out because he had just seen a body in there and the funeral home was so busy that they had two bodies on display and then the police found more caskets but were they empty or did they have more people and opened up an investigation to which the shortcutting neighbor found out that it wasn't smelling. Oh, and somehow, this "Clay" character turns into a guy by the name of "Hunter" somewhere in the absent middle of this article that must tie everything together.

I mean seriously, WTF?!? This article blows "reading comprehension" out of the window. I think I just turned retarded trying to make sense of that muck.
2004-10-22 03:52:56 AM  
Here is a slightly more literate version of the same story. 'Slightly' being the operative word in this case.
2004-10-22 04:03:58 AM  

Thanks for the alternate article. I feel a bit less retarded after reading your posted link... 'bit' being the operative word here. ;)

OH SWEET! The Creepy TIKI-IDOL "Brady Bunch" is on TV Land right now (Eastern Time).

Sorry for the derailment... off to go scrub my brain.
2004-10-22 04:05:53 AM  
Well sure you are gonna find bodies there, it's a funural home for crying out loud!!!!

/crime solved.
2004-10-22 04:11:31 AM  
It was probably another Funeral Home trying to scam on burial plots, so they took the bodies to the burned-out rival building instead of burying them in the ground.

Otherwise, I mean, how does somebody misplace bodies like that? They MUST have been put there after the fire, or else cops are as stupid as I think they are.
2004-10-22 04:27:20 AM  
[image from too old to be available] surrenders.
2004-10-22 04:53:50 AM  
Malfunction Junction collapses for the second time in two years and this got greenlighted? I'm a little more worried about Birmingham's crumbling highways than post-war mummies.
2004-10-22 05:26:32 AM  
And the award for most subtly hilarious headline goes to...
2004-10-22 06:02:15 AM  

OH SWEET! The Creepy TIKI-IDOL "Brady Bunch" is on TV Land right now (Eastern Time).

why on earth did you mention that it was eastern time? that episode different if you live in rhode island or somthing?
2004-10-22 06:04:57 AM  
the tiki made me misspell a word!
/annoying tiki music
2004-10-22 06:25:24 AM  
[Sgt. Scott Praytor] said the situation was strange.

"Wouldn't you like to find them, Halloween time?" he said.

No. No I would not.
2004-10-22 07:11:38 AM  
The author (I use this term loosely) of the original article must have challenged himself to have a shot of over-proof rum every time he used the letter 'e'.

This is the only possible explaination for the worst written piece I have ever tried to decode.

Props to Wukka, though, for elucidating for us.
2004-10-22 07:12:26 AM  
It's a funeral home! I wouldn't expect to find corpses anywhere else!!!!
2004-10-22 07:32:54 AM  
I couldn't resist sending an E-mail to NBC13, thanking for employing such brain dead reporting staff to entertain me. Brilliant stuff.
2004-10-22 07:55:03 AM  
Was the headline edited? What was the original headline? This one is kind of ... dead.
2004-10-22 07:56:38 AM  
Most incoherent article ever.
2004-10-22 08:21:39 AM  
Only two bodies? Not a very busy funeral home, is it?

/didn't RTFA
2004-10-22 08:22:59 AM  
From the second article, edited for brevity...

In July, fire struck. Authorities said then that the building was vacant and had been inhabited by vagrants. It sustained 100 percent smoke and fire damage.

Erm, wouldn't that be called burned down?

(Amd yes, I KNOW that could be 99% smoke damage and a wall got singed for the 1% fire damage, but I thought it was funny. So there!)
2004-10-22 08:30:32 AM  
They should check the cemetery. I bet they'll find lots of bodies there.
2004-10-22 08:37:09 AM  
I want to know two things:
1. What does "dropping a couple of dollars" mean in Alabama?
2. Who the hell is Hunter?
2004-10-22 09:03:45 AM  
Whatever happened with that funeral home in Georgia a few years back with all the bodies stacked in coolers, buried in mass graves on the property and in a pond, all allegedly because the owner was trying to save money on actually performing funeral services?

/sorry for the long run-on question
2004-10-22 09:09:49 AM  
Shout out to the Birmingham farkers.
Bow before your find a new way to work we burned the old way down again overlords.
2004-10-22 09:16:57 AM  
"Praytor said there were more caskets inside the building, but that police were waiting for daylight to look in them."

Buncha pussies.

"If they were in there, I don't know why anyone would (have been) in a burned building, pulled them out and left them there. If they weren't in there, I don't know why anyone would have left them there. I don't know if it's a prank or a game, but it's not very funny."

1: Eh? If they wer... never mind.
2: What about if it was a joke, would that have been funny? How about a gag or a stunt?
2004-10-22 09:34:19 AM  
Copyright 2004 by All rights reserved. This material may not be should not have been published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.
2004-10-22 09:34:53 AM  
Agreed, mangetout. Unsafe at night, my bass. They have equipment to light up a field, but not a building? Sissies.

And, question...if I own a piece of property and it burns down...would I and my insurance company not inspect or have inspected the building thoroughly? Why, yes, I believe I would. How could the owner NOT know what was left in that building specifically? Dumb basses.
2004-10-22 09:50:37 AM  

I want to know two things:
1. What does "dropping a couple of dollars" mean in Alabama?
2. Who the hell is Hunter?

OMG why do Alabamians have to be so stupid?
Why are WE so stupid?
It's because we live in a fishbowl, and are fearful of driving a few miles down the friggin road to find a different DNA pool.
As for "dropping a couple of dollars"...I think that was BS. I think he was just snooping around, and used that as a lame excuse......

I hate being southern
2004-10-22 09:56:30 AM  
Hmmm... dead bodies suddenly rediscovered by a hapless passer-by... found in a non-buried state under mysterious circumstances... the police "wait until later to investigate"...

Isn't this how zombie movies start?

//fears for his afterlife
2004-10-22 10:00:33 AM  
That was, without a doubt, the most confusing and poorly written article that I've ever read.
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