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(Reuters)   Man doesn't think he'll ever get over Machu Picchu   ( divider line
    More: Sad  
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24188 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Oct 2004 at 6:25 AM (13 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

148 Comments     (+0 »)

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2004-10-22 10:01:18 AM  
"This is not Mel Torme."
2004-10-22 10:01:19 AM  
You know what it's like to fall in the mud and get kicked, in the head, with an iron boot?! Of course you don't, no one does, that never happens. Sorry Ted, that's a dumb question, skip that.
2004-10-22 10:04:08 AM  
It's a completely different kind of flying, altogether.
2004-10-22 10:04:18 AM  
"Get that finger out of your ear, you don't know where that finger's been."
2004-10-22 10:05:16 AM  
I'm sorry. I don't do impressions. My training is in psychiatry.
2004-10-22 10:07:14 AM  
It's a completely different kind of flying, altogether.

It's a completely different kind of flying.

Actually, it's 'an entirely different kind of flying.
2004-10-22 10:22:24 AM  
Quite possibly the greatest headline ever seen on Fark. Kudos!
2004-10-22 10:23:43 AM  
I love a great Airplane! thread.
2004-10-22 10:26:45 AM  

I think it's the only quote left.
2004-10-22 10:28:26 AM  
I think my favourite line in Top Secret's still got to be the comment that 'our surgeons did their best but it took them over an hour just to get the smile off his face...' or something similar, been too long. May have to watch it again tonight...
2004-10-22 10:43:53 AM  
please correct me if I get this wrong:

"Our eastern values are not the same as your crass western ones" 0r something to that effect

"You'll have a chance to kill 50 maybe 60 people"
2004-10-22 10:52:18 AM  
"Nice try Lao Che"

[image from too old to be available]

Oops, Machu, not Manchu...
2004-10-22 11:02:20 AM  
Damn, I don't think I've truely appreciated the genius of the Airplane! movies until now.

And I want a list of everyone who's seen "The Sound of Music" more than five times.
2004-10-22 11:14:03 AM  
Zee poisonous feesh will kill you fastur zan zee bullet.

It is your show, please continue.
2004-10-22 11:17:43 AM  
Everyone I know tells me Top Secret! isn't funny. Thank God for you all, my invisible online friends, whose disembodied silent messages tell me I'm right.

/souvenirs, novelties, paaarty tricks...
//this man is not Mel Torme!
2004-10-22 11:20:23 AM  
[Pulls on
img.fark.netView Full Size

2004-10-22 11:23:47 AM  
to all you pokemon people posting
2004-10-22 11:25:31 AM  
crap, throwing away unfetchable image, well, it you wanna see it.....

here you go, sfw
2004-10-22 11:33:58 AM  
I can't be with a man I d'O'n't respect:

[image from too old to be available]
2004-10-22 11:38:30 AM  
Top Secret! is absolutely hilarious, don't let anyone tell you any different.

Martin: "What the hell did you say to him?"
Nick: "Nothing. I just told him I'd put his name on the Montgomery Wards mailing list."

General: "Well?"
Major:"They're still working on him. He won't break. They've tried everything. Do you want me to bring out the Leroy Nieman paintings?"
General: "No. We cannot risk violating the Geneva Convention."
2004-10-22 11:47:52 AM  
When my wife was buying me Top Secret for christmas the clerk actually told her it was crap. To each their own but I think it's one of the funniest movies of all time. Val Kilmers defining roll.
2004-10-22 11:50:48 AM  
I don't think I ever will either. There I was, trying out the breakfast menu at my favorite Mexican restaurant. My friend gets a big plate of scrambled eggy looking things and I ask for a bite or two. "Mmmm, tasty - funny consistency though, is there meat in this?
Yeah, cerebro de vaca.
Come again?
Brains. Cow brains."

Oh wait, that was machaca
Never mind

/still not over it.
2004-10-22 11:54:08 AM  
Purvis: What should we do, sir?
Murdoch: I want a six foot trench dug around the entire base (grabbing a soldier), FILL IT WITH GASOLINE.
(Grabbing another soldier) Get the women and children to the lower shelters!
(Pointing at another) Contact the Japanese ambassador! Rorschach!
Rorschach: Yes, sir?
Murdoch: Get me a COMPLETE FILE on everyone who's seen the Sound of Music more than four times!
Rorschach: Yes sir.
Murdoch:....On second though, kill those orders.

/Could quote Airplane all damn day...
2004-10-22 11:57:30 AM  
Jimmy: Will things be different on the moon, Dad?
Dad: Of course son! A whole new world - new kids to play with.
Jimmy: Does that mean no more teasing about the rape trial?
Dad: (clenching his fist) How many kids get the opportunity to live on another planet?
Jimmy: No more screaming, "Your old man is a raving sex pervert"?
Jimmy: (thinking) Dad never slaps me around at home. Maybe it's his coffee.
Mom: (thinking) No, I've been serving Dad decaf. Hmpf. Maybe he's just an asshole.
2004-10-22 11:59:29 AM  
Loo: And who are they?
Dr. Klahn: Refuse, found in waterfront bars.
Loo: Shanghaied?
Dr. Klahn: Just lost drunken men who don't know where they are and no longer care.
Prisoner #1: Where are we?
Prisoner #2: I don't care!
Loo: And these?
Dr. Klahn: These are lost drunken men who don't know where they are, but do care! And these are men who know where they are and care, but don't drink.
Prisoner #3: I don't know who I am?
Prisoner #4: And I don't drink!
Dr. Klahn: Guards! (move prisoners) Do you care?
Prisoner #5: No.
Dr. Klahn: Put this man in cell #1, and give him a drink.
Guard: What do you drink?
Prisoner #5: I don't care.
2004-10-22 12:10:05 PM  
Hell yeah, Dorf11,

Call me crazy... but this would be 'up there' in the ways that I want to die... like getting caught in the gears of a combine.

Took similar words right outta my... keyboard.

My #1 choice -I know it's existence is disputed- spontaneous combustion. Fark yeah.

"Hey guys I just rented this movie from blockbus-"

[Guts everywhere]

[Everyone looking around, blinking]
2004-10-22 12:14:41 PM  
I told him. I said "Look man. I don't swing that way." He just can't seem to absorb it though.
2004-10-22 12:17:41 PM  
He's a menace to everything in the air ... yes, birds too.

Keep him at 24,000 ... no, feet.
2004-10-22 12:18:33 PM  
I've always found Top Secret as funny as Airplane! Vindicated at last.

"Things change. People change. Hairstyles change. Interest rates fluctuate..."

Brit Farkers: is there a correlation between liking Airplane etc and liking Green Wing?
2004-10-22 12:19:16 PM  
Keep him at 24,000 ... no, feet.

I was going to post that, but in preview I thought it didn't look as funny as it sounded.

I now see how misguided I was.
2004-10-22 12:20:18 PM  
Farking great headline.
2004-10-22 12:21:56 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

The sensation you're feeling is The Quickening!
2004-10-22 12:30:10 PM  
Green Wing is... odd. On the whole it is pretty good, though. It kinda annoys me that they cannot make their mind up: is it a sitcom or a sketch show? Too disparate to be a sitcom, but then they try so hard to work in some semblance of plot...
Nowhere near as good as Scrubs though (although admittedly better than the pitiful BBC effort at the genre a while back).

Whilst on the subject vein: what do you think of The Mighty Boosh and Garth Merenghi's Darkplace?
2004-10-22 12:42:59 PM  
"Witnesses say he was struck by lightning just when he was on the summit,"

it's a good thing he could't be two places at once...

thank you, i'll be here all week...
2004-10-22 12:51:14 PM  
I must say, this thread is cockpunchingly funny.
2004-10-22 01:07:00 PM  
EYEDVMTECH; I left to go to class yesterday so I didn;t read your and LittlestPirates banter about the deadbeat goth ts/tv club....I was lmao all morning today at work....
....oh wait now i've talked about it...
2004-10-22 01:29:08 PM  
Tower: Air Israel, please clear the runway.

(One of the best visual gags in that movie.)
2004-10-22 01:41:47 PM  
Is this the potato farm?
Yes, I am Alber Potato.

OK, FINE! Be an asshole!

This is Qwang, Klan's chauffeur. He is rough and toothless.

Attorney #1: Could you please tell the jury the fabric of which your shirt is made?
Attorney #2 I object your honor, that shirt is immaterial.
Judge: Overruled.
Attorney #2: Ok, then I like a moment to go over my briefs.
Judge: Sure.
Attorney #2: (looks inside his beltline for a second or two) They're fine.

My favorite though was when Shatner is talking to some other guy on what appears to be a viewscreen and demands, "Why the hell aren't I told about these things?" and then opens the wall to come into the room with the other guy and the viewscreen turns out to be just a window that he was talking through.
2004-10-22 02:44:43 PM  
Reporter, to other reporters: "Ok boys, let's get some pictures" (Reporters then go over to the walls and take framed pictures from the walls)

/finally a thread of people who might appreciate the Airplane! gags in my profile
2004-10-22 04:21:30 PM  
Doctor: What was served for dinner?
Elaine: We had a choice, chicken or steak.
Doctor: Ah yes, I had the lasagna.
2004-10-22 04:25:10 PM  
Most. Fantastic. Headline. Ever.
2004-10-22 04:36:40 PM  
Think of the new SbB girl now...


"She's starting to shake..."

2004-10-22 06:38:38 PM  
George Zip is in Machu Pichu? I thought he died.
2004-10-22 07:00:34 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

Nintenfreak, Get a life!
2004-10-22 08:08:36 PM  
"...and don't call me Shirrey"

/I saw it in Japan
2004-10-23 09:31:16 AM  
Sir! These lights keep blinking out of sequence?!
Well, get them to blink in sequence.

They're putting the whole flight in jeopardy!
I'll take 'Airline Disasters' for $200'
The Mayflower.
2004-10-23 10:23:46 AM  
This fog is getting thicker.
And Leon's getting laaaarrrrrger!

What kind of a plane is it?
Oh, it's a big pretty white plane with a red stripes, curtains at the windows, wheels, and it just looks like a big Tylenol.

/takes a moment for Stephen Stucker
2004-10-23 06:06:59 PM  
Shayna, they bought their tickets.
They knew what they were getting into.

I say... let 'em crash!
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