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(   Woman beaten for bringing 13 items to express lane   ( divider line
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12480 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Feb 2002 at 3:42 PM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

175 Comments     (+0 »)
2002-02-14 03:44:44 PM  
That'll teach that biatch a lesson.
2002-02-14 03:45:31 PM  
Finally, justice is served! Vigilante justice, but justice nonetheless.
2002-02-14 03:45:45 PM  
Yeah, maybe people will pay attention to the signs now!
2002-02-14 03:45:59 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

Sorry man. I mean, I don't really approve of grocery-store violence, but I do hate people who clog the express isles. Or, those people who go through the "check yourself out" lanes and don't know how to work them? Man! They should definitely be beaten.
2002-02-14 03:47:36 PM  
I'd often thought of doing that myself to people. The hero tag is well deserved.
2002-02-14 03:48:22 PM  
This should have the HERO tag.
2002-02-14 03:48:40 PM  
I would have chopped her head off, ran it over the scanner, then called for a price check on stupid, selfish biatches.

Harsh? Yeah - I have a pet peeve about the express lane.
2002-02-14 03:48:43 PM  
er... did I mean "aisles"? Hah! Yup, that's what I meant. Oh well. I'll stick to "lanes" next time.
2002-02-14 03:49:31 PM  
If the victim wasn't 51 years old and if she had been more than just one over the limit I would agree. But this is farking ridiculous. You don't get that mad over 1 item over, you get that mad over some biatch dragging a full cart andher three squalling children into the express lane.
2002-02-14 03:49:48 PM  
cat fight - but not so appealing
2002-02-14 03:50:06 PM  
I have to agree with the beating.

Sorry, but it's like the people in the fast lane going 40mph, or the people who use your toothbrush to clean the toilet and then don't tell you and then when you find out through your brother and you go scream at them and they act like they dont know what you're talking about because all of the spit coming out of your mouth and blabbering and gibbering and all that and then you just cant do anything because you cant prove it and then you go home and have to change your toothbrush because you just can't consider using it again because it may or may not have shiat on it. You just don't do that.
2002-02-14 03:50:30 PM  
12 eggs and a carton of milk.
served the biatch right.
2002-02-14 03:50:56 PM  
Or, those people who write a check. It's quicker to use cash or plastic. I hate people who write checks.
2002-02-14 03:50:58 PM  
I hate it when I'm finally at the front of the line and I realized I'd forgotten something and the farkers behind me won't hold my place. Not really. hahahahahahahah. uh.
2002-02-14 03:51:13 PM  
Stupid old biatch needs to learn to respect my authoriteee. She knew the rules. She broke them anyway. Fine upstanding rule respecting citizen broke her legs. Good.
2002-02-14 03:52:30 PM  
I commented before even reading the article. Wouldn't that be terrible if it turned out to be my mom? I had better read the article.
2002-02-14 03:52:35 PM  
[image from too old to be available][image from too old to be available]
2002-02-14 03:53:00 PM  
Safeway will now have to change its name to just Way.
2002-02-14 03:53:06 PM  

I TOLD you a dozen eggs in a carton count as individual items !!!

[image from too old to be available]

Wonder if she hit the girl over the head with her little two - wheeled granny cart ?

2002-02-14 03:53:31 PM  
And this is the way that it should be!
2002-02-14 03:53:33 PM  
I'm with Mex on this. Goddamn bastards.
2002-02-14 03:53:47 PM  
Good Job. I'd say the old bat deserved it. Just another anchor clogging up the fast lines.
2002-02-14 03:54:54 PM  
That'll teach her from trying to buy a 12-pack AND a pack of smokes in the express lane!
2002-02-14 03:56:16 PM he.
2002-02-14 03:56:16 PM  
I agree. [image from too old to be available]. Although 1 item over should be a gimme.

And what about if you have 6 identical items, so that they only need to hit '6' and scan it once? 6 items or 1?

Best. Run-on sentence. Ever.
2002-02-14 03:56:21 PM  
"SAFEWAY....if you don't listen and follow our rules, we'll kick your ass!"
2002-02-14 03:56:44 PM  
we need someone to patrol these lanes.

2002-02-14 03:57:55 PM  
If I keep farkin up on my typeing I'll have to change my name to boomhaurer
2002-02-14 03:58:00 PM  
i meant
[image from too old to be available]
2002-02-14 03:59:24 PM  
agreed. the beating was well-deserved
2002-02-14 03:59:32 PM  
I dunno, a beating for 13 items is a little harsh. But, writing a check in the express lane - that should merit summary execution.
2002-02-14 03:59:32 PM  
She should have paid attention in the class where thay teach you to defend yourself against fresh fruit.
[image from too old to be available]
2002-02-14 04:00:39 PM  
I would have clapped and said
"Your momma told you that this would happen to you if you didn't pay attention during math class."
Then, of course, the Nelson Muntz "Ha Ha".
2002-02-14 04:01:17 PM  
This article needs to be printed out and posted at all express lanes. Especially the Albertson's on El Camino in Sunnyvale, CA.
2002-02-14 04:02:08 PM  
Farking expressholes!
2002-02-14 04:02:19 PM  
I agree with Bad_Sinfluence on this one.
I don't advocate violence unless violence is the most poetic solution. In this case, violence is totally uncalled for and most inappropriate.

This 30-something biatch needs some corrective actions administered.
2002-02-14 04:02:34 PM  
oksonotthefirst. *Damn* the cgi's slow today.
2002-02-14 04:03:44 PM  
13 is one item too many. I wish that old biatch had died.
2002-02-14 04:04:36 PM  
Hmmm...the lady was in a grocery store...then went outside and beat up the other lady, and was charged with assault with a dangerous weapon...

What did she use? A gallon of milk? A Hershey bar? A can of FDS? Enquiring minds want to know!
2002-02-14 04:05:47 PM  
I couldn't control myself.
As soon as she picked up the tic tacs I lost it.
2002-02-14 04:05:48 PM  
30-something lady: "I'm in a hurry. But, I've enough time to whup yo ass!"
2002-02-14 04:06:41 PM  
You know what I hate? Those damn little shopping carts for kids. They are always in the way. Why don't the parents just leave the kids under the cart like my mom did.
2002-02-14 04:08:21 PM  
Rtreynor: that pack of smokes put her 8 over the limit all by its lonesome
2002-02-14 04:08:22 PM  
Hey figer wants to be part of farklore so please ignore the smegger it'll drive him mad.
2002-02-14 04:09:25 PM  
One item over the limit would probably warrant a biatchslap. I don't know about a full scale beating.
2002-02-14 04:10:28 PM  
I was beaten by an ex-girlfriend with a can of corn and all I can say was it hurt.

[image from too old to be available]
2002-02-14 04:10:34 PM  
If I had 13 cans of similar Campbells soups would I be breaking the express checkout rules?
2002-02-14 04:11:48 PM  
Let me add my agreement: If you're getting in an express lane, do not have more than the listed number of items, and if you're getting in the self checkout lane, for the love of God, know how to use a barcode scanner. Don't just stand there looking like a stunned sheep when the Oreo cookies don't scan... MOVE THE FLAP OFF THE BARCODE YOU MORON!!!!

It's worse living in upscale parts of town where noone has ever done a day of manual labor. I was behind one well dressed woman, because she couldn't find the barcode on an orange. AN ORANGE!!!! She deserved a beating too, so I ask, is there no justice?
2002-02-14 04:12:04 PM  
And who said 13 isn't an unlucky number ?
2002-02-14 04:12:34 PM  
Luckygirl: Because most parents today won't say no to their little brats.
2002-02-14 04:14:38 PM  
God damned senior citizens hooligans, no respect for rules.

I say this lady deserves the [image from too old to be available] tag!!!
2002-02-14 04:15:49 PM  
This just in: "Bush declares grocery stores terrorist free, National Guard to patrol express lanes."

I love to enter the express lanes with several over the limit. Just for fun. Never been denied...Just twitch a lot and make sure your aluminum foil hat is slightly crooked.
2002-02-14 04:16:02 PM  
The beatings will now begin......
2002-02-14 04:16:38 PM  
Hey Luckygirl, You sure have some pretty eyes and perty lips.
2002-02-14 04:16:52 PM  
Probably used some canned gewiltefish (or however the fark it's spelled).

Just think a beating for 1 item. Can you imagine what would have happened if she had an item that needed a price check, and then paid with a check? We'd be talking about homocidal rage.

And just for the record, I don't agree with the action but I'll be damned if I had wished people to die of syphillis and rot in hell for having one item too many, or for using a check or anything else that caused the line to slow down.

As for the multiple quantity of a single product, I say if you have 1 or 2 instances of that, it's ok, but if you start to get like 5 cans of 6 different flavours of cat food, and then 20 ramen noodle packages you should be slain with a bolt of lightning from the sky.

Also, what about things that are bagged like fruit and such? 5 apples in a bag == 5 apples || 1 bag?
2002-02-14 04:18:57 PM  
This is why we need concealed-carry laws in this country. Somebody wants to beat on you for having one too many items, you ventilate them.

I wonder if the perpetrator not showing up for her arraignment is due to the victim's kin exacting a little street justice. That'd be sweet.
2002-02-14 04:19:44 PM  
My 2 cents: I'd like to find the woman who committed the beating and beat her for being an anal retentive biatch. I've taken more than "stated" number of items into express and not gotten comments, because I move right through and not hold up the line, which I'm sure the victim did as well. Stupid woman.
2002-02-14 04:21:27 PM  
biznatch got off lucky if ya ask me.
2002-02-14 04:21:49 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

the article says it was a Lowell Women,hope it wans't this one
2002-02-14 04:21:54 PM  
Lemme save Harmonia some time:

"This is America's fault for being such an evil, imperialist, capitalist empire."
2002-02-14 04:22:41 PM  
Buzz if I ever see you in a grocery store I will fight you.
2002-02-14 04:25:04 PM  
"...became enraged that she had brought 13 items through a 12-items-or-fewer lane. "

I'm guessing the 38-year-old had some Midol and SuperMaxis in her cart.
2002-02-14 04:26:13 PM  
To quote Lloyd Christmas, "Now don't you go dyin' on me!"

Olives4me: you are officially funny today.
2002-02-14 04:27:32 PM  
Are 13 items allowed in my 12 item aisle?!

[image from too old to be available]
2002-02-14 04:28:15 PM  
now that wasn't very neighborly at all....
2002-02-14 04:28:23 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2002-02-14 04:29:07 PM  
Rules are ment to be broken. Especially rules created by snotty, self-congradulatory, holier than thou Grocers!
This old lady's Bridge Club should go back and knock over all the stacks of produce and Cereal.
2002-02-14 04:29:55 PM  
"This is why we need concealed-carry laws in this country. Somebody wants to beat on you for having one too many items, you ventilate them."

Thats the problem with everyone in america bein allowed to own guns, cowards too afraid to get in a lil scuffle will end your life over nothing.
2002-02-14 04:30:18 PM  
That should have a hero tag.
2002-02-14 04:30:59 PM  
13 items, check writing people who don't have their check filled out, people without enough money, the person behind me who insists on hitting me in the ankles with their cart, isle blocking people, people with computers, children of Fb, Pedro, PETA, these are some of my least favorite things.
2002-02-14 04:31:16 PM  
Hey all you vigilanties out there, how much is your time worth? If I pay for my farking food with a farking check drawing money out of my farking bank account and it takes me an extra 15 farkiong seconds, I tell you what: I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and pay you at the princely sum of $100 dollars an hour. Guess what that comes out to? 41.6 farkING CENTS! Get over yourselves!

2002-02-14 04:31:31 PM  
maybe a beating was excessive. but there are rules, if ya can't follow em, expect people to be pissed off at ya. Personally I'd just remove her pinky fingers on the first offense. after that decapitation is in order.
2002-02-14 04:31:48 PM  
Olives4me: "Safeway will now have to change its name to just Way."

That is effin' hilarious.
2002-02-14 04:32:36 PM  
I firmly believe there is grocery store rage. Last Sunday I was in the HEB and this old fat smelly biatch with a cart full of kitty litter and a Mickey Mouse sweatshirt cut in front of me with all of her damn coupons and Fancy Feast cat food and the pimple faced skank working the register was so slow. The two freaks had a whole conversation about cats and then after what felt like 7 years of this mindless verbal shiatting---the old bag turns her big melon head an inch to the left and reads that there's a special on Marlboro Lights---"Uh, does that apply to Marlboro Reds?" and then the PFS had to trudge her fat Old Navy wearing ass down to the manager and ask him. I started tapping my feet and shooting angry looks and when the PFS comes back I'm all like "Can't you just page a manager and check me out" and she's all looking like I am the mean one. The old bad looks like she's going to cry and suddenly I'm the HEB grocery store enemy just because I didn't want to spend my child bearing years in lane 10.
biatches. Smacked up the both of them and took pictures after.
2002-02-14 04:34:49 PM  

Don't let me catch you and your little damn check in the express aisle. Cash only you little b(i)tch!
2002-02-14 04:36:36 PM  
If it says "Cash Only" you won't find me there. If it don't, bring it on baby!
2002-02-14 04:38:05 PM  
Most Americans are too dumb to be able to master the "self checkout" lanes.

A sad, but very true fact.
2002-02-14 04:38:33 PM  
it's not road rage
it's not rink rage
it's not grocery store rage
it's not cellphone rage
it's not computer rage
it's not internet rage
it's not fark rage
it's not exam rage
it's not parent rage
it's not coffee shop rage
it's not subway rage
it's not bathroom rage
it's not renter's rage
it's not bookstore rage
it's not pawnshop rage
it's not anything rage,

it's called being an asshole. it's not new. it's not a trend, and it's not going away. so news media and pop-psychologists need to quit making up this crap to sell advertising and fill shrink couches.

or they are gonna be the victim of some misuse-of-the-word-rage rage.
2002-02-14 04:39:06 PM  
move to texas, concealed handguns are legal, of course with the proper licensing. kinda like the luby's incident. the next time some lunatic goes into the store to kill everybody and there are 50 9mm pointed back at him, he might just reconsider what he's doing. God Bless Texas!!!
2002-02-14 04:40:34 PM  
That's Lowell for you. I used to live in Lowell,MA and I can't say I'm not suprised.

HBO filmed a documentary called "High on Crack street" in Lowell, to give you an idea of the type of town it is.

High on crack street
2002-02-14 04:40:58 PM  
Gotta love self righteous, self indignant, the-rules-apply-to-everyone-but-me, illiterate morons who cant read the simple little signs; 12 items or less/cash only.

fark em. I hope more people beat some sense into these idiots.
2002-02-14 04:42:23 PM  
Crazy_girl: That sounds like every experience I have ever had at Wal Mart. They built a brand new one close to my house and it only took 2 months for it to become a nasty ghetto mart. Filled with trash, regular and human.
2002-02-14 04:43:49 PM  
I completely agree with IckyMettle. One item over is a possible accident and isn't really too slowing. A biatchslap is perfectly acceptable because it'll help her think twice next time she counts her items. As for those who do it on purpose or have mooore than one over...

BuzzNJ, is a moron. The fact the he pulls that crap on purpose is aggravating as hell. I don't care how fast or smooth you think you go through that line, it all depends on how speedy the cashier is with 12 items versus your 15 or whatever you've got. And it just plain aggravates other people, you are still taking up time either way, and are not supposed to be there. You're probably one of those guys that assumes you still got rights to a good couple seconds after a traffic light turns red too huh?

I'd vote for a severe beating of BuzzNJ anyday.

Sure I'm violent and half of these other posters are too, but if assholes would stop being assholes, maybe they wouldn't have to see our violent sides.
2002-02-14 04:45:33 PM  
I was in a similar situation, what I did was to leave all my groceries in the checkout lane and I just walked out. That way the fat checkout biatch can restock the stuff.
This only works in big ciies
2002-02-14 04:45:46 PM  
43% said it exactly as it should be stated!
2002-02-14 04:46:11 PM  

*standing ovation*

You are 100% farking correct..
2002-02-14 04:46:19 PM  
Buzz - You probably drive while talking on your cellphone, too - jackass...
2002-02-14 04:47:19 PM  
Oh and in response to 43%... All of that is actually the human body's EARS. (Emergency Asshole Response System)
2002-02-14 04:52:40 PM  
2002-02-14 04:55:25 PM  
Honestly, this is pretty funny. Excessive? Yes. Take a deep breath people, everyone waits (in line, on hold, internet downloads, etc) for a good portion of their lives. Get over it, there is bigger things to worry/stress about. I can relate to all the stories about assfaces in front in the express line, I've given many o' dirty eat shiat looks.

This 38 year old women is facing criminal charges for what? A stupid overreaction. Something I bet she wishes she could do over again.

Did I just drop $.02?

2002-02-14 04:57:36 PM  
That lady deserves to get beat, as do those assholes who drive 55 in the fast lane when the middle lane is going 65! This world is filled with stupid, ignorant, self-centered shiatheads.
Boo Hoo for her. She's probably gonna sue for $22M.
2002-02-14 04:59:28 PM  
Thats the problem with everyone in america bein allowed to own guns, cowards too afraid to get in a lil scuffle will end your life over nothing.>/i>

It must take a special mind to think that getting beaten is 'nothing'. I happen to be much larger and stronger than most people, but I'm not going to fight anyone I have the opportunity to shoot first. Anyone high, nuts, or angry enough to want to fight is too dangerous to mess with unnecessarily. But you go right ahead if that's your style.
2002-02-14 05:01:27 PM  
Jeebus, this is nuts. Nobody here has ever gone into the grocery store and tried to get a few things and get out quick only to find every lane clogged with soccer moms with carts of kool-aid and pop tarts? Cripes, for all you know this 51 year old lady was getting 13 cans of cat food because she can't afford the turkey dogs anymore; then the biatch behind her beat her with her cans of Beluga after driving her Mercedes over her groceries. After all, it does say the 51 year old was walking home at the time. Not to many snotty stuck up bizzitches WALK home with groceries. 13 items; anyone here who hasn't tried to sneak 13 items in the 12 or less is a liar. There are worse annoyances in the grocery store. Like the fat woman walking down the middle of the aisle giving you the dirty look when you try to pass her as she stops by the chips to drool.
2002-02-14 05:01:37 PM  
Lucky:"You know what I hate? Those damn little shopping carts for kids. They are always in the way. Why don't the parents just leave the kids under the cart like my mom did."
Huh? Was this punishment from parents who wanted you to "'spect may author-i-tay?"
2002-02-14 05:03:10 PM  
Hmm...12 items or less. No checks. Nah, doesn't apply to me, she thought. Guess that lady learned-ignorance hurts and people are not putting up with stupid anymore. But let's not forget the two people using the same cart having to seperate their groceries and pay for them seperately. Nothing makes me wish for a wooden bat than holding up a line because you're too selfish to sort. As for checks, OK, but have it out, YOUR OWN FARKING PEN and ID ready. You know you're gonna need it, have it ready.
Here's a link for a solution:
2002-02-14 05:04:30 PM  
Can't count how many times I've snapped
at people in the grocery store.
Writing checks in the cash only line.
20 items in a 10 item express line.
I've found it hard to be polite when you're
telling someone how stupid they are so I gave up
the politeness long ago.
Only good thing is the smiles I get from cashiers.
Poor bastards can't say anything to the customers
so it's up to all people who can read and understand
signs to inform the missing links that they need
to pay attention.
Cashiers sometimes forget to scan a few items
after a confrontation with an asshole.
2002-02-14 05:05:33 PM  
Read the posts, results don't surprise me.

What a great peace loving nation you have when the few second sit takes to (electronically) enter a price deserves a beating. Hey, naybe she should have been stripped of her rights and beaten, or stoned in a public place?

Yeah this old lady gets a beating while the real criminals like Ken Lay and Dick Cheney siphon the nation's wealth into their pockets, with the help of Arthur Anderson and the White House.

Hey there;s a J-walker on the way to get their welfare check - lets beat them too! Or the person who waits 2 sec's after the light turns green - lets beat her. Look it yourselves, it is pathetic. What would you do with that extra 2 seconds, watch Survivor 3?

The United States has forgotten basic decency both at home and abroad. I guess that's why the rest of the world loves you so much.
2002-02-14 05:06:43 PM  
Chicks can't count.
2002-02-14 05:07:10 PM  
Check out lane rage is nothing new.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't Bruce Banner once Hulk out in a slow grocery line on the old live-action TV show.
2002-02-14 05:08:33 PM  
I blame the store. It would be too easy to setup the register to only ring up a certain number of items. Maybe allow 3 over for people who are bad at math. After that the cashier should put the rest of the items to the side and send them to the back of the line. You would only have to do that once and people would count their farking items.

Bad_Sinfluence: I concur, Luckygirl is a hottie.
2002-02-14 05:08:50 PM  
Sometimes I go to the Kroger and hang out near the checkout lines, reading National Enquirer.
Just waiting for someone to take 11 items into the 10 item line SO I CAN KICK THEIR ASS!
2002-02-14 05:09:27 PM  
Now, i'm not sure what grocery stores (or any public store) are wherever you people live, but i'm pretty sure in New Hampshire beatings aren't frequent and sure as hell aren't heroic, as some people are putting in. Jebus, i'm really hoping some of these comments aren't serious. Please, PLEASE tell me these are jokes.

"13 is one item too many. I wish that old biatch had died."

"And this is the way that it should be!"

"Good Job. I'd say the old bat deserved it. Just another anchor clogging up the fast lines."

And of course the six trillion "That deserves a hero tag." comments.

Now, first of all, beatings of any kind to anyone is unjustified. Second, the "crime against humanity," as some Farkers make it sound like, was probably a minor mistake, one that would've taken all of TEN SECONDS to scan the extra item in. In no way is the beating deserved or heroic. And blah blah blah, etc.
Maybe I just don't share the same sense of humor as you people, but if those are supposed to be funny, they aren't.
2002-02-14 05:12:31 PM  
Spacecow can't count.
2002-02-14 05:13:33 PM  
And there I go, forgetting that this ISN'T Ikonboard.

2002-02-14 05:13:40 PM  
Oh spare me the indignation, SpaceCow.

We all know you speed up and flash your brights on the back bumper of anyone who changes their lane right in front of you. You big bully.
2002-02-14 05:13:56 PM  
Uh, Joak. If they did the same thing to us in a line, we'd beat them too. Sure what they did is wrong, and they'll get justice too. As for basic decency, ask yourself how decent you are when you're stuck in rush-hour traffic some farker being stupid caused, no AC or heat, and you've had a really farked-up day. See what 'decent' thoughts are in your head, then speak of 'basic decency' in the US.
2002-02-14 05:16:28 PM  
A "no cupons, checks" lane wouldn't be bad idea.
2002-02-14 05:21:24 PM  
Control: Get a life!
2002-02-14 05:21:48 PM  
Funny, usually it's the 70 year old ladies trying to push their way through the checkout yelling and screaming attacking people.
2002-02-14 05:22:13 PM  
In regards to your 13 cans of the same type of soup... Yes, it's a violation! Why, just the other week I was in the express line at the Albertson's on El Camino in Sunnyvale, CA, and this late 20's beeyotch was in front of me with 12 cans each of 12 varieties of Campbell soup (the cheap kind, not the Chunky stuff Donovan McNabb eats). Well the cashier, who was crippled and in a wheelchair, told her that 144 items was above the posted 12 item limit and that she must go to another line. That biatch looked at the crippled cashier and said, "Fu That crippled cashier was pissed, but he couldn't do much cuz he was,, uhhhh, crippled. So he turned to me - I assume because I look like I'm in decent shape - and says "Sir, I'd like to smack this biatch clear to San Mateo, but I can't. Would you, sir, please beat the fuLuckygirl makes me wanna move to Rural America and buy a horse! CUTE!
2002-02-14 05:22:43 PM  
IckyMettle and Eric of Doom speak the truth. Heed their wisdom.
2002-02-14 05:23:31 PM  
Oops, try that again!

In regards to your 13 cans of the same type of soup... Yes, it's a violation! Why, just the other week I was in the express line at the Albertson's on El Camino in Sunnyvale, CA, and this late 20's beeyotch was in front of me with 12 cans each of 12 varieties of Campbell soup (the cheap kind, not the Chunky stuff Donovan McNabb eats). Well the cashier, who was crippled and in a wheelchair, told her that 144 items was above the posted 12 item limit and that she must go to another line. That biatch looked at the crippled cashier and said, "fark off asshole you ring me up right now you peesashiat." That crippled cashier was pissed, but he couldn't do much cuz he was,, uhhhh, crippled. So he turned to me - I assume because I look like I'm in decent shape - and says "Sir, I'd like to smack this biatch clear to San Mateo, but I can't. Would you, sir, please beat the fuLuckygirl makes me wanna move to Rural America and buy a horse! CUTE!
2002-02-14 05:24:47 PM  

In regards to your 13 cans of the same type of soup... Yes, it's a violation! Why, just the other week I was in the express line at the Albertson's on El Camino in Sunnyvale, CA, and this late 20's beeyotch was in front of me with 12 cans each of 12 varieties of Campbell soup (the cheap kind, not the Chunky stuff Donovan McNabb eats). Well the cashier, who was crippled and in a wheelchair, told her that 144 items was above the posted 12 item limit and that she must go to another line. That biatch looked at the crippled cashier and said, "fark off asshole you ring me up right now you peesashiat." That crippled cashier was pissed, but he couldn't do much cuz he was,, uhhhh, crippled. So he turned to me - I assume because I look like I'm in decent shape - and says "Sir, I'd like to smack this biatch clear to San Mateo, but I can't. Would you, sir, please beat the farking shiat out of her? Please? For a needy cripple like me?" And I said "Sure, anything for the crippled," and I cleared that dirty cheat beeyotch clear to Marin County!

Really, I'm not making this up.

On a lighter subject:
Luckygirl makes me wanna move to Rural America and buy a horse! CUTE!
2002-02-14 05:25:29 PM  
YES! YES! YES! IT'S ABOUT TIME! I FREAKING HATE PEOPLE THAT DO THAT! SHE GOT WHAT'S COMING TO HER . . . Oh man, I took 14 items through just yesterday . . yipe!

2002-02-14 05:35:01 PM  
I have held my tounge many times behind some idiot that had too many items. I don't condone it but God knows I understand it.
2002-02-14 05:36:06 PM  
You could get hit, holding your tongue behind a complete stranger like that.
2002-02-14 05:45:27 PM  
It's kinda amusing to see how easily beatings are distributed in America.

Who gives two shiats if the lady has 13 items? How long does it take to ring up a second item? I would say 4 seconds, if that.

What the hell is so important that you can't wait 4 seconds? If there is something going on in your life that requires you to get 4 seconds back, and beat someone that causes you to wait an extra 4 seconds in line, you probably shouldn't be in the grocery store to begin with.

The cashier doesn't give two shiats. He isn't going anywhere. He will be there another 4 hours!

I know its the principle of the thing, but the fact that someone was beaten as a result of impatience is pretty farking lame.

I agree that it is the whole idea of following directions that is more important. The lady that did have 13 items likely pissed off the customer behind her (obviously), and probably the cashier also, cause its SO much more trouble to ring up an extra item on the current order than starting a new one.

People need to chill the fark out. Yes, people break rules. Yes, it pisses me off. Yes, the people that knowlingly violate these rules should probably be punished if they are a repeat offender. No, they should not be beaten.

For christ's sake, there are people that kill other humans that don't feel any pain throughout their whole journey through the American justice system, and this lady that has 1 item too in a express line in some grocery store deserves to get beaten? Gimme a break.

The victim told The Lowell Sun that she didn't realize she had one item too many until Morgan, who was waiting behind her in line, let her know.

She didn't know. It doesn't surprise me that ignorance in America equals getting your ass beaten.

Also, the cashier should be the one getting his ass kicked for not throwing this lady out of his line.

In closing I will refer back to this line from the article:

a 51-year-old Lowell woman was beaten and kicked when a customer behind her in a supermarket checkout line became enraged that she had brought 13 items through a 12-items-or-fewer lane.

Enraged over an issue at a grocery story. That ladies, if pretty farking pathetic. Man, I would hate to be married to this biatch. If she acts like this in public, imagine what she is like in the privacy of her own home.
2002-02-14 05:46:10 PM  
I used to be cashier at a small country store that still rang stuff up by typing the price into the register rather than scanning it. It was great because so many rich stuck-up yuppies would come in and if they pissed me off I always overcharged them. It's not like they would ever know. I also noticed that after I tell them the total price and they give me they're credit card they dont even look at the price on the receipt before signing it. Many times they also gave me their receipt to throw away which has their # and expiration date...great for payphones...
2002-02-14 05:46:24 PM  
Dizzam, did all y'all forget to take your meds this morning? Can't you channel your violence and frustration something less petty, like maybe bashing Barry Manilow?
2002-02-14 05:52:17 PM  
If I was the cashier I would have rung up 12 items. Finished out the order. Then started a new order with 1 item on it.

After finishing out the single item order. I would then turn my light off and tell the impatient biatch behind her that I was now closed and she will have to go to a big register.

2002-02-14 05:55:09 PM  
The lady was one item over. The 30something woman lost perhaps 90 seconds of her life. Get over it.

I like the idea of having the register set to ring up only 15 items in the 12 item lane. I've had express lane clerks tell me to go to their line when the other lines are fulla soccer moms with 2x as much stuff as me.

2002-02-14 06:05:34 PM  
Lowell, huh? Yeah, been there. No shock, really.
2002-02-14 06:07:35 PM  
Would I ever beat a person for bringing 13 items into a 12 item lane? Probably not. Would I secretly cheer seeing someone who did? Perhaps. But what I'd REALLY like to see is someone beating old bitties who drive 5 miles an hour, especially the ones who drive right down the dotted line in between lanes. And do you ever even see them getting pulled over? But going back to the actual topic, I'm just sayin...
2002-02-14 06:16:34 PM  
Lowell. Figures. Isnt the population there like 90% parolees?
2002-02-14 06:18:39 PM  
The satisfaction of beating the person up just isn't worth the ensuing trouble -- the trial, the attorney fees. Much better to go home, have a drink, turn on some George Jones and kick back.
2002-02-14 06:21:17 PM  
I see we have a new word in the fark filter (on nightmare level setting, no less).

let he who is without sin cast the first can of peas

Can't make my other comment, oh well it wasn't that clever anyway.
2002-02-14 06:24:35 PM  
What it did not say is the old lady who was beaten also had coupons and paid for her 13 items with coins...
2002-02-14 06:25:13 PM  
Icecycle - uhmmm... what word would that be? (mime it :)
2002-02-14 06:32:30 PM  
I worked as a cashier for almost 3 years. Our express lane was clearly marked "10 items or less, cash or debit card only". I usually didn't care about a couple items over, but if it was busy, or I was tired, no one came through with 11. It was a lot of fun to see some moron pull up with an overfull cart and start to unload. You let them get just a few heavy things off, then tell them they're in the wrong line. Fun fun fun.

As for the "stupid cashier" posts, I would agree with most of them. In my experience most 17 year old girls get jobs as cashiers because they figure they don't have to lift anything and can talk to their friends all day. When they realize this isn't true, they quit. The turnover rate at our store was something like 10 new cashiers a month. By the time I left, I knew more about the store than anyone up front and half the managers.
2002-02-14 06:33:16 PM  
'bout damn time this happened. Violence ain't cool, but c'mon. Fools do this all the time in COMPLETE disregard for others, then run back to the aisle to grab a couple MORE items, and then pay in a friggin CHECK!
Do people not even understand the idea of EXPRESS lanes?
2002-02-14 06:36:38 PM  
Bah. At least someone is enforcing the law.

"Sure he's only a boy stealing computer games now, but one day he'll be a grown man, stealing skyscrapers and quarries."

I think the moral of the story is -

This would have never happened if the old woman had been considerate enough to count her items. Yes. That's right. Not counting the items is an inconsiderate and anti-social act. Does it deserve a beating? No. But that's the problem of having unenforced rules. Sooner or later, someone who respects that rule gets angry that those who don't when the rulebreaker suffers no repercussions.

And besides. Maybe the woman who administered the beating was just following the example of the great leader who thinks bombing an entire country to bring one man to justice is a fine and dandy idea.
2002-02-14 06:37:59 PM  
Yeah, in my humble opinion an EXPRESS lane should be JUST THAT.

FAST. Dedicated to the people who have come in for only one or two key items.

That means a HARD ceiling of how many items can be brought through, no checks, no coupons, and a checkout clerk with FULL authority to tell you to either join the back of a different line or get bent(this is where assistant managers DO come in handy).

The only problem is that you KNOW the soccer moms, upon reaching the head of the line with the full cart with 66.6 assorted items(you know the rugrats would have half-eaten something on the cart already, right?), would be told by the checkout manager to circle around and get in a different damn lane, as outlined above. However, what do you think would happen next? If you said, "Soccer mom says, 'ooh, sorry', and joins the back of a different line", you're not cynical enough. If you said "Soccer mom bleats up a storm, unleashing an incredible barrage of abuse at clerk, manager, and odd and sundry, and stands there and refuses to move until served", welcome to reality.

That being said...assault for ONE item over the limit IS a bit much. There are SO many bigger targets out there...
2002-02-14 06:45:07 PM  

Long things at the end of hands, arabic torture for being off topic in fark threads, what a mime should have broken.

Should cover it, I think, now I'd better say something about violence before the long night of the razorsharp mods gets out of control again.

Violence is bad, somebody all up in your face and swinging and you never know whether to shoot them or see if you remember all that karate you used to know.
2002-02-14 06:47:38 PM  
I'm apalled that anybody would support violence over such a petty thing. Anybody so stressed out should just shoot themselves and get their sad pathetic lives over with. Unless of course, you Farkin' Farkers were just Farkin' kidding, in which case, get your foot out of your mouth and shaddup.

*Ducks Fark-Post-Rage Replies*
2002-02-14 06:52:37 PM  
Icecycle - cool. ta mate. uh, yeah. lesgo kill someone.
2002-02-14 06:57:20 PM  
Sorry, but it's like the people in the fast lane going 40mph, or the people who use your toothbrush to clean the toilet and then don't tell you and then when you find out through your brother and you go scream at them and they act like they dont know what you're talking about because all of the spit coming out of your mouth and blabbering and gibbering and all that and then you just cant do anything because you cant prove it and then you go home and have to change your toothbrush because you just can't consider using it again because it may or may not have shiat on it. You just don't do that.

Frigging priceless.

Simmah dan nah!

The express lane is relative. I've seen it with 10 items or less, 12, and 15.

One item over is a little neurotic, people. Sure, I farking HATE people who don't even bother to count their items and just roll it on through. I've been ushered through on slow nights, regardless of how much I had, when I was looking for a longer line, or *standing* in a longer line, because I knew I had more than the express lane allotted.
But I was compelled to do so by an employee, it was OKAY.

Otherwise, I count my shiat, and avoid the EX Lane.

What I hate is people who can't frigging drive. They don't go when the light is green, they stop in the middle of the street, wherever the fark they feel like...I had one woman, looking for something, so she's driving erratically while she's not paying attention. Then she slows to a crawl and stops 50 feet or more from the light...
Or, because I live up in the mountains with a plethora of windy roads you can't pass on safely, the people who want to drive 30 or less, and refuse to pull over.

Selfish assholes. Oh, and don't think this is some isolated rant either. I got my car broke into two days ago. They took my two tool boxes, and my jacket, and my bag that had a bunch of paperwork and other shiat in it, including two movie rentals on their way to be returned.
2002-02-14 06:58:53 PM  
* WalMart's '20 items or less' lane may as well be '80 items or less.' Seriously. The limit is too damn high to have the intended effect.

* It REALLY annoys me when people don't pay attention to these limits. One time, I was in an express lane at Wally World, and noticed that the person in front of me had quite a few items. Out of curiousity, I started counting. This ignorant ass was going through the express lane with 37 ITEMS, nearly DOUBLE the limit. The cashier didn't say a damn thing about it, either. This incident resulted in an anonymous biatch-o-gram to the manager of that WalMart, although I should have just said something on the spot.
2002-02-14 07:02:29 PM  
Since when is being 51 considered being an "old lady?"

Anyways, violence is bad anywhere.

Does 3 bananas attatched to each other count as one item or 3, esp when weighed by the pound?
I always count my items 4 times before checking out, cause im so paranoid of getting someone angry.
And at my store its 10 and under.. almost everyone can count to ten.
2002-02-14 07:02:41 PM  
Another thing that pisses me off about WalMart is the jackass customers who think that "Fire Lane - No Parking" means "This is your personal parking space." Heck, there was one time I watched someone park his car *right in front of one of these signs*, turn it off, and walk in to the store. Can people not farking read?
2002-02-14 07:02:48 PM  
This is why people hate america.
2002-02-14 07:08:36 PM  
Y'all think it's funny to beat people up for making innocent mistakes? How 'bout I come beat you every time you misspell something in the comment threads? Or when you comment without reading the article first? Or when you assume things about the article that weren't true, even if you did read it? Y'all are luck we don't really know each other, or we'd all be beaten to a pulp every day for the stupid, human mistakes we all make. Why is this a big deal? Because a woman who can't even afford a car to get herself to the store now has medical bills to pay because some biatch let herself get out of control act in a totally unacceptable manner. Justice my a$$. Grocery rage my a$$.
I know what it's like to be so poor you have to walk to the store because you don't have a car. It sucks. People think it's funny to scream and honk their horns at you. Add winter weather and you have a really fun afternoon on your hands. So she made a mistake. She's got enough problems without getting beat on her way home in the cold having to carry her food for the week. It's Valentine's Day for God's sake. Show a little love and understanding.
No, I'm not sorry I ranted. Flame me. It just makes you pathetic.
2002-02-14 07:14:57 PM  
I went through a 10 item express once with a six pack of beer... No big deal realy, But I paid for it with rolls of pennies..... Hahahahahaha... Fvck em... :)
2002-02-14 07:22:41 PM  
I always go through the express lane if I have under 15 items... fark this biatch.
2002-02-14 07:23:46 PM  
I gotta agree with people who think this is WAY over-reacting.

Besides, I'd much rather have the person in front of me roll up with 13 items than some dumb fark favorited! down three things then haul out a sackful of pennies that they count out one at a time...
2002-02-14 07:26:42 PM  
It was to prove a point... :)
2002-02-14 07:27:31 PM  
haha I didnt even see the post from Johnny_Gluebag_and_The_Sniffs.

I was referring to the (usually) old ladies who buy thier pet supplies with *bagfuls* of loose change.

At least you used pre-rolled coins... how ummm, considerate ;)
2002-02-14 07:29:02 PM  
And Yes... I realy did do this.... :) It was all pennies and nickels... :)
2002-02-14 07:38:24 PM  
The article should be marked "HERO" instead of "STRANGE".
2002-02-14 07:41:03 PM  
That'll show her. Express means EXPRESS, damnit!
2002-02-14 07:47:05 PM  
I don't know. A beating seems awfully severe.

Then again, the usually dirty looks don't work anymore. I was at the store today, using the check-out line, and the woman in front of me had a full grocery cart. The cashier didn't say a word to her. I gave the usually dirty look and she acted like I was coming on to her. Probably afterwords, she ran off to call the cops and complained about a creepy man threatening her.
2002-02-14 07:51:55 PM  
Bleeding hearts.
2002-02-14 07:55:10 PM  
Let this one example serve as a warning for the masses. See, only one has to suffer to save the rest (if they would only take heed)...

Now, if just one of those soccer moms running down pedestrians at crosswalks in her grocery-gettin SUV while talking on her cell phone could be made an example of...
2002-02-14 08:18:35 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2002-02-14 08:45:09 PM  
Hey, all you farkers who think this should've been a "Hero" tag, what are you doing in the grocery store to buy your precious "key items" in the first place? What do you think convenience stores are for?

Grocery stores are not designed for slobs yelling "Outta my way!" as they move through the line at breakneck speed with their 6-pack of Mountain Dew, box of Twinkies and pack of Marlboro Lights, careen their cars down the freeway while tailgating someone going the speed limit, just so they can get back to their 'puters to complain about all the self-centered assholes they encounter in the world on Fark.
2002-02-14 08:57:00 PM  
Holy crap -- I lived in Lowell for a whole month, right down the street from a Market Basket. I wonder if this was a former neighbor. Not that I would remember neighbors I had for 1 month. 13 items != beating unless she wrote a check too. Regardless, you don't beat at 51 year old. That's just not right.
2002-02-14 09:03:36 PM  
I agree with Shreen. A beating for 13 items is uncalled for. 13 items and a check? Well, that's a gray area.
2002-02-14 09:17:45 PM  
Why don't the supermarkets just charge an express penalty fee to the express, say for every item over the limit it's $1 per item. Like electronic agreements, if you lined up in this express line you have automatically answered 'yes' to the agreement.
2002-02-14 09:36:19 PM  
Oh yeah, forgot. Not everybody lives a block away from a grocery store, like I do.
(and yes, the convenient location of said store WAS a major factor in my choosing this apartment. Low crime area and utilities included rounded out the trifecta.)

And all you idiots going on about fruit...bananas, oranges, what the hell ever...
unless it's one of those odd damn fruit that are counted by the PIECE instead of by weight, then the only thing that matters is how much of it you have per weight per type.
1 bag with 5 lbs of Red Delicious Apples in it = 1 item.
1 bag with 1 lb of Red Delicious apples in it +
1 bag with 1 lb of Granny Smith apples in it +
1 bag with 1 lb Fuji apples in it +
1 bag with 1 lb Golden apples in it +
1 bag with 1 lb Neon Orange Striped Purple Heinz Apples For Kids(you KNOW those mad advertisers are working on it. But that's another rant) in it = 5 items.

And don't be an idiot by mixing different kinds of fruit, with different price/weights, in the same bag...
2002-02-14 09:50:20 PM  
Antinorm: It's not that they can't read. It's because they think that nothing will happen to them.

Why? Because Wal-mart Security doesn't secure a damn thing. Parking lot patrols? HAH!

This is VERY unlike one restaurant I know in Waikiki, that has its own parking lot. What makes this parking lot unique? Its owners guard it well-they've contracted a local tow truck company to have a man sitting there the whole day. If he sees anybody park their car illegally, or park it and wander off away from said restaurant, the tow truck rep calls his workers and the car is removed in minutes.
2002-02-14 11:19:04 PM  
Blackbird you're a genius!

Unfortunately, Harmonia would demand a government subsidy for all the poor & illiterate...
2002-02-14 11:35:07 PM  
Check yourself out lane? *looks down at his purchases piling up on the conveyor belt* Is that what this is? Do they actually trust me to pay?
2002-02-14 11:37:33 PM  
Obviously, the first thing that needs to be done is to get cashiers with some gumption. We need the hard-as-a-rock, stone-faced, cashier who is not afraid to look
straight into customer's eyes and watch the panic strike as the floor falls out from under them and wonder if it's tough to get tapioca out of cashmere. However, in the
grand scheme of customer service, one would have a better chance of spotting a winged pig than finding a cashier with an ounce of spite.

From my earlier link:
2002-02-14 11:44:29 PM  
Here's what I do.

As the asswipe with the 14 items in the 10-items-or-fewer line is getting rung up, count the items. Out loud. Really loud, as they go over the scanner. Then cheer them. "Wow! 14 items in the 10 item lane! You beat the system!"

They're usually too embarrassed to say a thing.
2002-02-14 11:47:43 PM  
Oh, and for all those who say "Gee, she was only one item over..."

Ok, then, you believe that the number is only a suggestion rather than a firm rule. I ask you, then, at what point does the excess become too much? 15 items in the 12-items lane? 20? The problem with this thinking is that it introduces individual judgment, which will by definition differ from person to person. I'm all in favor of individual judgment, but not when you're trying to establish rules in a closed system. That's why there's a goddamn number over the checkout lane. Otherwise it would say "Just a couple items or less." This is also why felony theft is $500 or greater, and not "You know, a bunch of money."
2002-02-15 12:21:31 AM  
Ok...all I have to say is that Market Basket is ghetto and if you take 13 items into the 12 item lane then you should expect to get some badly painted acrylic nails driven into your eyes!
2002-02-15 01:58:11 AM  
Finger ...?
2002-02-15 02:09:45 AM  
I can feeeeeeel the love!!!!
2002-02-15 06:02:38 AM  
Q: What do 99% of all biatches who gets beaten up in the 12 items or less ailse have in common?

A: They just don't listen.

2002-02-15 06:03:16 AM  
You guys are really sad if you think this beating is justified. 1 item over the limit? That is nothing... so you lose maybe 30 seconds of your life. It would just go to looking at boobies posts on FARK anyway for most of you or a flamewar.

Think about all the time you waste all day, and would that little amount you lost waiting for the person with one extra item matter enough to beat them up? If you answer yes, then you are sad. You have way too bad of a temper.

No hero tag here, more like sad, out of the available choices. biatch would be more appropriate.
2002-02-15 09:07:42 AM  
At least the time I waste is the time I choose to waste, as apposed to being inconsiderate, like the morons driving in the outside lane doing the same speed as the people in the middle lane....these people should be beaten as well and beaten severly. (it was a rough commute to work today)
2002-02-15 09:16:25 AM  
Mojogobo: Or should I call you Costanza? Jeebus, god forbid we introduce personal judment into the closed system of a farking GROCERY STORE. Lord, you must be a blast at parties. I'll bet you stand by the chip bowl and bust people for double dipping. We must not introduce personal judgment into the closed system of party snacks. She was 1 item over and she got beaten.
Don't lose sight of the end result here over the fact that she did something that annoys everyone on a regular basis. There are things that deserve a beating, but this sure the hell ain't one of them. Farking over thousands of employees while getting rich yourself deserves a beating; adding a pack of gum to your 12 items in the lane does not.
2002-02-15 11:35:22 AM  
2002-02-15 03:11:29 PM  
Ok, EZ, at what point is it excessive? 5 items over? 10 items over? At what point would you say something? Or would you not say anything no matter what? I'm not talking about a beating here, I don't think that was justified. I'm just curious how much someone would have to push it in order for you to let them know. My personal limit is 4 items. At that point, I will start the counting game. So, yes, I guess I do introduce personal judgment.

Do you think that being "a blast at parties" has something to do with letting people take advantage of you? Are you a fan of roofies?
2002-02-15 03:42:23 PM  
The Drudge Report has a better report of the story. It actually gives the criminal's address, so you can send her a thank you note/death threat depending on what side your on.
2002-02-15 04:48:35 PM  
Mojogobo; it just seemed you were being awfully anal (much like Costanza) with your remark not to introduce personal judgment into a closed system. The article was about a beating, so that is what I was talking about. If we're just talking about giving the googly-eyes or saying something to the offender than yes...4 or 5 or whatever depending on my mood. But a beating? I think we'd have to be up around 1000 items, with coupons and price checks.
As far as being a blast at parties, it has nothing to do with being taken advantage of; it had to do with the fact that at 1 item over the limit a beating was advocated (in your original post). Since we're just talking about a verbal beating; than the statement is withdrawn. My apologies.
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