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(Daily Collegian)   Having your new movie equated to blending "Fame" and "Coyote Ugly" with vomit probably means you can skip plans to attend the Oscars next time around   ( ) divider line 77
    More: Silly  
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24712 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Oct 2004 at 3:17 PM (11 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2004-10-13 08:17:46 AM  
There's a Farker who works with the guy who wrote this dreck. He must be so proud.
2004-10-13 08:30:58 AM  
link goes nowhere?
2004-10-13 08:44:54 AM  
I'd still hit it when it turns 18.
ahhhhh....A young Jenna.....
2004-10-13 09:00:35 AM  
I'll wait for it to come on cable.

So I can mute it and listen to women's tennis turned up really loud.
2004-10-13 09:10:00 AM  
Look at the bright side. A quote like that will probably be pretty prominent on rotten tomatoes.
2004-10-13 09:30:35 AM  
I call this section, "how Hillary got her hudspa back."

What the hell is a hudspa? Did someone steal her scooter or something? Or is it a hot tub made by the Department of Housing and Urban Development?
2004-10-13 09:50:09 AM  
I think she was trying for "hutzpah" or "chutzpah" but obviously failed miserably.
2004-10-13 09:53:39 AM  
Chutzpah (from
2004-10-13 09:56:44 AM  
After all that, he only gives it a D-?
2004-10-13 10:26:37 AM  
Brittish fellow named Jay (Oliver James) whose hair looks like a porcupine with high lights is lying on his head

That made me laugh.
2004-10-13 03:21:08 PM  
Can I have those 2 minutes back?
2004-10-13 03:23:14 PM  
I wonder if Hilary Duff understands the irony of having the lyrics "you're queen of superficiality" in one of her songs.
2004-10-13 03:23:32 PM  
what a lame attempt at a review.

"let me start by saying this movie wasn't made for me". OK, then stop right there.
2004-10-13 03:23:42 PM  

Are you trying to say "chutzpah?"

What the fark kind of a jew are you, Ziegler?
2004-10-13 03:23:43 PM  
I like this part of the review:

If that's true then director Sean McNamara must have been passing a kidney stone when he made this movie, cause that's what watching the movie felt like.

2004-10-13 03:24:29 PM  
Sweet christ but that guy can't write.
2004-10-13 03:25:54 PM  
I wonder, if Hillary Duff maries the Duffman, who would change their name first ? Oh - yeah !
2004-10-13 03:28:13 PM  
Before I tear this movie apart like a Bengal Tiger pouncing on a poor, defenseless, handicapped squirrel lathering itself in teriyaki sauce,

Best part of the review
2004-10-13 03:29:13 PM  
Seriously, did anyone actually expect this movie to be anything more than a frontal lobotomy performed through one's eyes? It was like expecting Spears' movie "Crossroads" to be a deep and meaningful movie. There are teen movies, and then there's pop movies. Very rarely does the latter ever become anything resembling success.

I'll have to admit: I liked the Spice Girls movie. Okay, I know, I'm sick.
2004-10-13 03:31:20 PM  
Would have been the best part of the review, had it been a complete sentence:
"Before I tear this movie apart like a Bengal Tiger pouncing on a poor, defenseless, handicapped squirrel lathering itself in teriyaki sauce."
2004-10-13 03:31:41 PM  
Before I tear this movie apart like a Bengal Tiger pouncing on a poor, defenseless, handicapped squirrel lathering itself in teriyaki sauce. I should come clean - this movie was not made for me.

It should also be apparent that you probably failed English more than once.

Director Sean McNamara's movie is told in three acts.

Conflict, climax, resolution. Welcome to Screenwriting 101, dumbass.
2004-10-13 03:32:30 PM  

Agreed. I thought that line was on point. Funny shiat.
2004-10-13 03:32:45 PM  
I wouldn't even bother to download it for free. Blech!
2004-10-13 03:33:49 PM  
Like watching a train wreck in slow mo...

I can't believe I read the whole article.
2004-10-13 03:34:29 PM  

In Shatner Voice: Who dares talkoftheduff that way?

[image from too old to be available]

2004-10-13 03:34:35 PM  
lol, it made just 4.6 million its opening weekend. thank god it bombed.
2004-10-13 03:34:37 PM  
Boy, I had a couple free passes to a pre-screening of this a while back. Glad I didn't go.
2004-10-13 03:36:18 PM  
I hate you, Spencer Ziegler. You make my English more dumber...
2004-10-13 03:36:41 PM  
Yay, I wasn't the only anal-retentive freak appalled by the English usage in the article. Doesn't speak highly of UMass (although the Pixies song of the same name rocks).
2004-10-13 03:36:44 PM  
You know she's not gonna be naked in why bother?
2004-10-13 03:38:08 PM  
And yeah, I reserve the right to use a sentence fragment, because I don't have a proofreader that should have caught it.
2004-10-13 03:41:01 PM  
redfox -

4.6 million for a teen quirk movie on the first weekend isn't exactly a bomb. of course, if it had made 8 or 9 million there most definitely would have been a sequel in the works.
2004-10-13 03:42:03 PM  
i was disgusted when she "sang" that little soul riff (or whever the fark) in the preview. all the people were clapping, and she sounded terrible! no vocal talent. she can barely carry a tune.
2004-10-13 03:42:58 PM  
Coyote Ugly looked like it would be awesome, but then I found out it wasn't rated R (The implication of course being that none of the really hot girls in the movie take off their top). Boooo!
2004-10-13 03:44:29 PM  

Why was this even posted? It's not like anyone here was planning to go see this movie. And besides, we alll aready knew it would suck.

Since there are no 12 year old girls reading fark this just seemed pointless.

2004-10-13 03:45:21 PM  
Hillary appears to be speeding up the "on ramp" on the Britney Spears Skeevedouttrailertrash Memorial Expressway.
2004-10-13 03:46:38 PM  
If you *really* want to hurt your brainpan with a "Fame" knockoff, check out "Honey" with Jessica Alba. It's playing every three hours on HBO and Starz this month. Makes "Glitter" look like "Citizen Kane".
2004-10-13 03:47:16 PM  
Safeinsane: acts have nothign to do with the dramatic cycle (which, incidentally, has more than three stages). Law and Order has two acts, Shakespeare has five. They all still follow the dramatic cycle.
2004-10-13 03:48:04 PM  
PokesBadgeswithspoons, as a 12-year-old girl, I deeply resent your comment. In fact I deeply resent the whole lot of you who cannot see the depth and profound range of tragic/comedic talent which Hillary Duff delivers... you all suck bigtime neener neener neener...
2004-10-13 03:49:50 PM  
I find it hard to believe anybody with Throbbing_gristle for a username is twelve years old.
2004-10-13 03:50:57 PM  
.... well, I got better.
2004-10-13 03:51:07 PM  
Jesu Christo - when did Fark start greenlighting Mr. Cranky knock-offs. If you wanna really see a critic rip apart a film like his bengal tiger metaphor (such a letdown), check out Mr. Cranky. At least he uses the f-word on occasion when a movie merits it.
2004-10-13 03:55:31 PM  
"Makes "Glitter" look like "Citizen Kane"."

Seems I wasn't the first to associate this headline with a Mariah Carey movie.....
2004-10-13 03:55:53 PM  
Ah the arc of fame: TV, Disney 'music' video, movie, movie, movie, movie, 18, drug bust, starter marriage, drug bust, domestic violence, kid 1, divorce 1, movie, rehab, banged by B movie director, kid 2, marriage 2, banging bigger star, divorce 2, discover Jayzus, never get one name name, surreal life, irrelevance, suicide.
2004-10-13 03:56:46 PM  
"high lights?"

Reading this article was probably as painful as watching the movie to which it refers.

- R
2004-10-13 03:58:09 PM  
2004-10-13 04:08:06 PM  
Since I didn't read the headline close enough, I was expecting a review of the Honey DVD. Easy mistake, if you've seen Honey.
2004-10-13 04:11:32 PM  
This piece should be a test for high-school journalism classes.
2004-10-13 04:14:04 PM  
I wonder if the writer of the article bought a keyboard with the F7 key removed.

/possibly obscure, unless you have used microsoft word without a mouse.

How hard is it to push one extra button before clicking the little "Save" icon?
2004-10-13 04:19:41 PM  
How many stars did the 'Daily Faberian' give this film?
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