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(Some Guy)   Book of Mormon action figures   ( divider line
    More: Weird, Book of Mormon  
•       •       •

19930 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Oct 2004 at 11:18 AM (13 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

153 Comments     (+0 »)

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2004-10-02 07:09:41 AM  
yeah but where is the Luke Skywalker with the different coloured light sabre blade still mint in packet?
2004-10-02 11:05:51 AM  
this is just dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb.
2004-10-02 11:22:51 AM  
So where are the door-to-door "salespeople"?

// estimate religious flamewar in 5....4....3....
2004-10-02 11:26:06 AM  
My favorite the Native American with the European broadsword.
2004-10-02 11:26:38 AM  
What? None of them appear to be wearing the special underwear?
2004-10-02 11:26:46 AM  
Dude! this is funny as hell! I'm tempted to buy some just for some cheap laughs.

Maybe I'll just photoshop "the brother of jared" with a sub in his hand.
2004-10-02 11:27:13 AM  
But do they have the Laman action figure with spring-off-decapitation-head?
2004-10-02 11:27:18 AM  
Hmm......anyone know if there is any evidence of swordmanship or just plain sword making in the remains of the Native Americans?
2004-10-02 11:28:11 AM  
I'm wondering where the action figure missionaries are, complete with working bicycle.
2004-10-02 11:28:28 AM  
I found gold plates in some basement too! They're real, trust me.
2004-10-02 11:28:30 AM  
... they (Mormons) have a hero named Captain Moroni. Someone is playing a cruel, cruel joke on these people.
2004-10-02 11:30:23 AM  

/dum dum dum dum duumm
2004-10-02 11:32:00 AM  
this is just dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb.

Damn! Beat me to it. The second time Joseph Smith "translated" the plates, the stories were different. And by the way, nobody got to see the gold plates, cuz if they did, God would strike them all down.

The idea of writing biblical-esque stories taking place in the ancient Americas is cute, but it's still fiction.
2004-10-02 11:32:35 AM  
Where does the book of Mormon mention Planet Kolob?
And the multiple wives things?

But mormans believe "the living prophet is more important than the dead one" so anything Joseph Smith wrote is pretty moot.

Funny--it would be kinda cool to be your own "god" in the mormon church, since the reigning president is more important than the founder and author of the religion, Joseph Smith...

Hey--did you know that his father lost the families savings on an investment of tea so that is why the mormans do not drink tea?
Read it at Rice University library, history section, NOT religious section.
Funky, funky history...

Oh yeah--suipposudly there are hidden geographical places in the US yet to be found, that are mentioned in the Book of Moran. When I showed the door-to-door salemen encyclopedias and history books disputing their claims of golden plates and old mountains and such, they began muttering about faith is stronger evidence.

/yes, I am a Christian. My beief is on the founder Jesus Christ. Take him away and you have no Christian religion. Most any other religious founders can be swept away and the "religion" continues, and changed as needed.
Historical and other evidence points out that Jesus was a real person. It is up to you to decide if he was a liar, a lunitic, or Lord.
/flame on!!!
2004-10-02 11:36:10 AM  
Can't say it's any weirder than beliefs I've held in the past.

Seems we all have any number of beliefs and practices that would surrealistically bizarre to someone else.

The pinata has become popular at kids birthday parties lately. Last time the pinata was an effigy of a Polynesian or Hawaiian dancer. I'm sure some country is running a video of that on state television with some plausible alternative explanation.

Someone I knew from China was shown the movie "A Christmas Story" in Social Studies class to explain the American holiday. She later tried to convice me that Taiwan is not really as big as it was shown on the map (there was a global conspiracy to exaggerate its importance.)

Someone I knew from Eastern Europe's favorite book was Catch-22. Seems that was one of the few Western books they were allowed to read.
2004-10-02 11:38:36 AM  
So, does it include the angels Morani and U. R. A. Chump?

2004-10-02 11:38:48 AM  
"But do they have the Laman action figure with spring-off-decapitation-head?"

Yeah. I meant Laban. Not Laman.

Obviously Laman was the brother of Nephi and not the evil wicked man Laban was. Though Laman and the other brother Lemuel were evil too. But Laban is the one that had his head smote off by Nephi.

woo hoo.
2004-10-02 11:43:22 AM  
I don't understand where all the angels have gone. They were everywhere in the old days and I'm not just referrring to the Mormons.

Did they die? Are they lost in the smog? Where are the angels. I want angels!
2004-10-02 11:44:26 AM  
But....but....where are all the dolls in the "Brigham Young Wives" series!!! Collect all 17!
2004-10-02 11:47:19 AM  
bottom of

From now on when I read my fortune cookies I'm adding "with glow in the dark stones"
2004-10-02 11:47:44 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
GIS for "Bible salesman"
Weird, huh?
2004-10-02 11:48:00 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
Don't forget this Mormon action figure
2004-10-02 11:48:44 AM  
Most religious people are nuts anyway.
2004-10-02 11:50:35 AM  
To quote Strong Bad:

"I thought I knew what ridiculous was until this day"
2004-10-02 11:52:55 AM  

C'mon, how do you guard against Jesus? No fair!

OMG! That is the funniest thing. I have a headache from laughing.

I don't know what's more funny; that picture or your comment.
2004-10-02 11:54:22 AM  

Mommy, what's that football player doing to that other football player?

2004-10-02 11:55:24 AM  

I can't believe they made that whole site and those figures without stumbling uppon the seemingly inevitable idea of a "Jesus Saves!" hockey goalie.
2004-10-02 12:02:40 PM  
Well, BobSoccamono eats horse. He gets it from his butcher!
2004-10-02 12:03:14 PM  
I can now safely say, this is not something that the world needs... for any reason.
2004-10-02 12:03:23 PM  
Where does the book of Mormon mention Planet Kolob?
And the multiple wives things?

Short answer: Nowhere. Mormons believe that God speaks through prophets, just like he supposedly did in the old testament. Since things tend to change over time, the prophet is able to give you up-to-the-minute information on what God thinks about you. This is why what the current prophet says is arguably more important than the founder. It's what God wants to tell you NOW as opposed to a millenia ago.

After 20 years of being mormon though (and almost that long as an ex-mo), the Kolob thing still throws me. Where did THAT come from?
2004-10-02 12:05:32 PM  
Apparently this was highlighted because it has the word "Mormon" in the title? Other then that, what possible interest could any farker have in this site? It barely passes as funny.
2004-10-02 12:06:39 PM  
Sounds like it will be a hot X-MAS gift.
2004-10-02 12:07:47 PM  
When I was a kid, I was over at some boy's house and he had Bible action figures. Including a Jonah which could be stuffed into a plastic whale which came with the figure. Imagine the fun you have when you make the whale repeatedly vomit Jonah forth everywhere. Into the catbox. Into the can. Into the dinner table. Great opportunity to get in trouble.
2004-10-02 12:07:53 PM  
"But mormans believe "the living prophet is more important than the dead one" so anything Joseph Smith wrote is pretty moot."

wat the friggin crap. wat they mean by that is what a pofet today says is ment for today. that doesn't mean that "anything Joseph Smith wrote is pretty moot"
2004-10-02 12:08:04 PM  

You bad. Uh-huh.

For me, the bible in English is virtually meaningless. To found a 'religion' on it is sheer lunacy. Forgive me while I meander off topic for a moment (?), but we've all seen examples of badly translated/interpreted language.

I'd actually support any group (and they exist) which looks at the original writings of ANY faith and translates the MEANING of what was written by the Particular Wise One In Question, and not just the words used. I might even learn something, you never know.

To continue my meandering ramble a little further, there was a guy (French?) who produced a Portuguese-English dictionary by using a multiple hop Portuguese-French-English tranlation route (I think?). Hilarity did indeed ensue.

To follow a modern interpretation of a two hundred year old poor translation of a more thans likely misunderstood writing, for me, just beggars belief.

The bit in the the bible about Jesus handling snakes is apparently used by a certain religious group to kill a few of it's members (kids included) every year by, of all things, group-hugging rattlesnakes. All in God's name of course, so that's alright. Does anyone else get the broader picture that the 'snakes' might have been (bad) people? And that Jesus might have been confronting them about their lifestyle? Euphemism? Yep, that's language - and it's been hiding meaning for millennia.

For me, there is no omnipotent being. Just people. People (maybe ..) like Jesus, Mohammed, the Sikh Guru's, Buddha and so on.

And as for a religion based on knocking on doors ... well, frankly? No.

Actually, if you've read this far, are you interested in forming the Church of Fark? You are? Fark ...
2004-10-02 12:08:46 PM  
opps i misspelled prophet
2004-10-02 12:09:03 PM  

I think it's funny too, because there was a dude in high school that always wore his Jesus sandles and his toes were all crusty and gross and we would say, "...Jeff if you're going to wear your Jesus sandles and expose your toes, at least cut your toenails." He was a good sport about it, but his toes are probably still nasty 'til this day.
2004-10-02 12:09:49 PM  
I'm not a super hero, I'm a Latter Day Saint!"
2004-10-02 12:10:21 PM  
Click on the underwear linky, it's so funny. Here, I'll repost, cause I know you want it. Mormon Undies

One of the comments said that these undies are sacred. So, what happens if you streak?
2004-10-02 12:18:59 PM  
Mormon: Moron spelled the way a moron would.


Mormon: What morons call themselves.
2004-10-02 12:19:59 PM  
Does anyone else get the broader picture that the 'snakes' might have been (bad) people? And that Jesus might have been confronting them about their lifestyle? Euphemism?

Most Bibles these days have liner notes with their note-writers' interpretation of what it says, for example, the Orthodox Study Bible has notes based on the 2000-year history of the Church and the beliefs and tradition passed down since then.

opps i misspelled prophet

And 'what.' Don't forget 'what.'

/Nor Poland
2004-10-02 12:23:35 PM  
Hehehe...Guys must have a pretty big package to fill those out.
2004-10-02 12:27:33 PM  
Oh yeah--suipposudly there are hidden geographical places in the US yet to be found, that are mentioned in the Book of Moran.

'Get a brain, moran.'
'Get a book, moran.'

How about 'GET A LIFE, MORON?!'

/not disrespecting bellfromhell in any way, I'm just going along with the whole 'moran' theme.
2004-10-02 12:31:18 PM  
Loved the South Park episode concerning Mormanism.

2004-10-02 12:33:32 PM  
Joseph Smith, anticipating L. Ron Hubbard by 100 years.
2004-10-02 12:34:05 PM  
bellefromhell You have the most erroneous account of history I've seen in a long time.
2004-10-02 12:53:38 PM  
These are so biatchin'! Can't wait to pit Captain Moroni against my Ringwraith. And the 6" Nephi may be "large in stature" to you Mormons, but you can't fool me-he's standing on something.

//Jesus would be a lousy baseball player. Sacrifice bunt, sacrifice bunt, sacrifice bunt...
2004-10-02 12:58:56 PM  
moltov -
you need to keep up, son - you're looking a little silly.

back on topic:

Religiosity does NOT equal spirituality, it just means you're willing to abdicate all rational thought and be told what to think. Spirituality means not having the answers and being willing to admit that, but still searching anyway. Religiosity means having the "answer" no matter how stupid, and sticking to it because you're too scared to think for yourself. God, save us all from your believers.

Religion - the opiate of the (m)asses.
2004-10-02 01:01:53 PM  

I congratulate you on making me LOL.

I have nothing against Mormons per se. I was on a cruise once, and in Ocho Rios, Jamaica, the locals went around the boat handing out cups of rum and punch.

The couple right next to me, a real, real, real nice couple (see the South Park episode), looked at me downing my drink, informed me with a gleeful smile that they're Mormons, and wondered if I wanted their drinks.

I felt nice and happy after three authentically Jamaican rum and punches. MMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
2004-10-02 01:04:02 PM  
PRIOR: Do you believe in angels? In the Angel Mormon?

HARPER: Moroni, not Mormon. Ask my mother-in-law, when you leave, the scary lady at the reception desk, if it's name wasd Moroni why don't they call themselves Morons.

-Tony Kushner, "Angels In America, Part Two: Perestroika"
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