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(AP)   If you love it when Jimmy Swaggart makes a huge ass of himself, then this is the article for you   (hosted.ap.org) divider line 521
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35261 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Sep 2004 at 3:47 PM (9 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2004-09-22 04:18:39 PM
Does anyone have the audio of that's mentioned in the article? Or better yet, audio or video of the infamous weeping confession from the '80's??

The weeping confession from the first time? Or the actually sensible statement from the second? ("I asked the Lord, and he flat out told me it isn't any of your business." Uh, yeah, that's what we've been saying - it isn't any of your business. Fark off.)
 
2004-09-22 04:19:06 PM
I do and it is, thank you
 
2004-09-22 04:19:27 PM
Since the normal, healthy reaction of a heterosexual male to the idea of homosexual behavior is flatline disinterest, it is true that most spittle emitting homophobes like Swaggart are deeply closetted Mondo Homo Pole Smoking Sissy Boys.

I don't understand something... if being homosexual is okay and just another branch of "normal" behavior for those who choose to do so, then...

why is it that when you (the collective 'you') insult homophobes, you do it by accusing them of being homos, and with some really insulting terms for homos at that.

/jes' askin'
 
2004-09-22 04:19:33 PM
Don't y'all remember that part in the bible when Jesus put on his American flag t-shirt and shot down all of the homos?

Was that after he gave the mestruating harlot who had an abortion a black eye for entering his home on a Sunday and stoned the single mother?
 
2004-09-22 04:19:33 PM
I remember that story from the Bible where some Roman homo looks at Jesus and makes a kissy-face at him and Jesus makes fire come down out of heaven and kills him. (John 9:45)
 
2004-09-22 04:19:46 PM
Beerden: If homosexuality is a disease, then, logically, so is heterosexuality.

What kind of logic is "If [x] is bad, then so is [not x]"?

I really don't see the relationship here.

"If cancer is a disease, so is being cancer-free." See, it just doesn't follow. Care to explain? I'm genuinely mystified.
 
2004-09-22 04:19:49 PM
Smell the Glove

I once found myself in a gay bar (yeah, how did THAT happen??) A friend of mine talked me into going on "straight night". Apparently I was the only straight non bi-curious to have gone. All in all it was weird but not completely traumatic. The bathrooms were unisex and one guy did grab my ass. Other than that, I drank for free all night.


I've been to a few gay bars with my best friend, and my biggest complaint is that men are in my bathroom! Dude, I don't care if you are gay or not, GET OUT OF MY BATHROOM. I cannot pee when a man is in my bathroom.
 
2004-09-22 04:20:34 PM
Do you want a happy God or a spiteful God?
 
2004-09-22 04:20:48 PM
I've been to a few gay bars with my best friend, and my biggest complaint is that men are in my bathroom! Dude, I don't care if you are gay or not, GET OUT OF MY BATHROOM. I cannot pee when a man is in my bathroom.

Are you implying that you CAN pee when there's ladies around, and that you might ENJOY it?

/damn, that's gross.
 
2004-09-22 04:22:50 PM


pheh, fundies.

a_cure_for_gravity


"And I'm going to be blunt and plain: If one ever looks at me like that, I'm going to kill him and tell God he died," Swaggart said to laughter and applause from the congregation.

Somebody tell me again why we're deporting Cat Stevens.

As it is, we can safely chalk this one up as reason #19506 that I'm not a Christian.


damn right. here's #19507



/I don't mean to insult the many many well meaning good christians out there, but from where i'm sitting you might as well believe in powdered toast man. sorry. guess you think I'm gonna burn.
 
2004-09-22 04:22:58 PM
BearToy

And yes, violent bigots like this are the reason that a lot of gays I know carry a gun these days. We're fed up with being the victims of the kind of hate it takes to say and applaud such things.

Heh, right on. My band plays up in Wyoming regularly (where Matthew Shephard was cruicified on a fence). I was chatting with a gay couple from Salt Lake in the hotel bar one night and one of was looking really nervous and fidgety but the other was very calm and friendly. Now I know why, he must have been packing :)
 
2004-09-22 04:22:59 PM
Wow I wonder what level of hell is reserved for this guy. It is one thing to be a j@ck@ass and not necessarily claim any religious affiliation. But to be a supposed religious leader and have these kind of points of view . . . wow, I am stunned.
After Jimmy is dead I can see him asking "Hey why am I in this handbasket, and where am I going?"

/Completely outraged at the moral depravity of current supposed religious leaders
 
2004-09-22 04:23:06 PM
palexc

Are you implying that you CAN pee when there's ladies around, and that you might ENJOY it?

/damn, that's gross.


You're just hoping I would enjoy it.
 
2004-09-22 04:23:20 PM
So what did you guys expect? Religious nuts are pretty much the same, no matter what religion they commit themselves to.
 
2004-09-22 04:23:35 PM
There's NOTHING WRONG with being gay, YOU COCKSUCKING ASS-farkER!
 
2004-09-22 04:23:49 PM
El-Spectre


Why would something like that freak you out? If it ever happens again, let me suggest this:

Tell him you're not gay.

Is this even a common thing? I've had a few gay folks tell me that they NEVER mistake a straight person for gay. It sounds pretty rare. Any gay Farkers wanna chime in?


I've had several gay men hit on me (when I was younger and theoretically better looking). So I'd say that being homosexual doesn't improve a person's gaydar at all.

/not gay, but still flattered.
 
2004-09-22 04:23:49 PM
What's with these fuglies thinking that gay men have the hots for them? You know, I bet the gay men wouldn't be too jazzed about Swaggert looking romantically at THEM, but I doubt they've spent any time imagining it or what their response might be. Swaggert, no gay man or straight woman is going to look at you with anything but disgust and/or contempt, so just put that out of your mind right now. Stick to whores.
 
2004-09-22 04:23:52 PM
ArcadianRefugee

The original premise was obviously not logical (nor was it's premise factual). Sexuality is no more a disease than height, eye color, or shoe size...

Sometimes ya gotta let the easy ones slide...
 
2004-09-22 04:23:53 PM
John 9 only goes to 41 in NASB bible, reilly.

/Jeebus didn't usually do the rain fire thing, unless you really pi$$ed him off
 
2004-09-22 04:24:44 PM
foxboxchic

I've been to a few gay bars with my best friend, and my biggest complaint is that men are in my bathroom! Dude, I don't care if you are gay or not, GET OUT OF MY BATHROOM. I cannot pee when a man is in my bathroom.

So the unisex bathrooms are typical? I'm used to peeing in a bathroom with other men, it was the hand cupping I had to adjust to.
 
2004-09-22 04:25:20 PM
In the broadcast, Swaggart was discussing his opposition to gay marriage when he said "I've never seen a man in my life I wanted to marry."

I didn't know he was looking, I would advise him to date more. Don't despair Jimmy, that special guy is out there waiting for you.
 
2004-09-22 04:25:41 PM
You're just hoping I would enjoy it.

Ok, so some lessons learned:

1.) Read screen names when replying to posts to determine gender, especially in sex-related posts.

2.) 2 girls peeing, not as sexy as it sounds.
 
2004-09-22 04:26:32 PM
"Why would something like that freak you out? If it ever happens again, let me suggest this:"

"Tell him you're not gay."

"Is this even a common thing? I've had a few gay folks tell me that they NEVER mistake a straight person for gay. It sounds pretty rare. Any gay Farkers wanna chime in?"

Ok - I'm not gay. But I got hit on by a dude in college once. It was a pretty disarming experience because it was so unexpected. So yeah, I was kind of freaked out. I was young. Nowadays I think I'd be like, 'no thanks.' Even at the time I didn't dislike the guy or make a scene, but a little 'freaked out' would be accurate. Hell, a lot of things freak me out, it doesn't make me any kind of bigot. I'd be a little freaked out if a 6 year old girl or a dead lady came on to me as well, but that doesn't make me a pedophile or necrophiliac.
 
2004-09-22 04:27:09 PM
Dogpants
John 9 only goes to 41 in NASB bible, reilly.

Way to go, you really got the funny there.
 
2004-09-22 04:27:10 PM
El-Spectre

Ah. Thanks for the clarification. That confused the shiat out of me.

Still, though -- if we can call alcoholism a disease....
 
2004-09-22 04:28:00 PM
Mr. Clarence Butterworth

Gee, that's funny, no article on Freerepublic.


I always find it funny what they don't post, it's like a reality distortion field over there.
 
2004-09-22 04:28:27 PM
I have no interest in using a unisex or women's bathroom in a club or bar.

Women do the "squat and suspend" which results in piss all over the place.

Yet guys get crap for spitting into the urinal while relieving themselves. Multi-tasking. Plus the good clubs have a shelf for your beer, too.
 
2004-09-22 04:28:43 PM
Homophobes are always gay. They're just the last ones to know it.
 
2004-09-22 04:29:01 PM
Smell the Glove

So the unisex bathrooms are typical? I'm used to peeing in a bathroom with other men, it was the hand cupping I had to adjust to.


The one I was at had "women" on one door, and "men" on the other, but I as I was waiting in line, a guy walked in, decided the line was too long and turned back around. I asked my friend what was up with that and she says "oh, in most gay bars people go in whatever bathroom they want to" That being said, it is my only issue, I've always had a good time and gay bars. Except none of the men never hit on me, oh wait, I've gotten used to that.
 
2004-09-22 04:29:54 PM
Beep boop beep boop boop beep boop beep... boop... beep.

 
2004-09-22 04:30:48 PM
El-Spectre

Why would something like that freak you out? If it ever happens again, let me suggest this:

Tell him you're not gay.

Is this even a common thing? I've had a few gay folks tell me that they NEVER mistake a straight person for gay. It sounds pretty rare. Any gay Farkers wanna chime in?


I'm a straight farker and I get hit on by gay men on a consistent basis. So I'm certain this is a lot more common than they suggest.

/ Of course I do work out and wear fine italian shoes
// Don't even start that horrid 'metrosexual' shiat, being heterosexual does not mean you have to be a drooling moron
 
2004-09-22 04:31:07 PM
Anyone who claims that by killing they are doing "gods work" is obviously praying to the wrong "god"

/666
 
2004-09-22 04:31:26 PM


"I have sinned against you!"
 
2004-09-22 04:31:39 PM
What I want to know is where's the mainstream Christian outrage? Where are the rallies and the public denunciations for what he said? Clearly he's supported by the main stream Christian powers that be.
 
2004-09-22 04:32:04 PM
LoveInAction
I don't understand something... if being homosexual is okay and just another branch of "normal" behavior

It is. Yes, go on.

for those who choose to do so, then...

Well you just outed yourself as either a bigot, really dumb, or some combination thereof. Homosexuals don't choose to be gay. Why oh why would someone choose to be in a club that is almost universally reviled and abused. By this way of thinking, straight people considered their options and chose to be heterosexual. Laughably preposterous.
 
2004-09-22 04:32:09 PM
Why would something like that freak you out? If it ever happens again, let me suggest this:

Tell him you're not gay.


Let me let you in on a little secret: Some gay guys are assh0les, just like straight guys.

I've had two gay guys hit on me, one when I was in my late teens (so was he) because "he wanted to see me freak out." Then a few years later, another guy seriously thought he could "convert me" to play for his team since he was a slob and pretty hard up. He actually tried to get his hand down my pants while I was hanging out with a group of friends. I had to smack him pretty hard to get him to understand I was serious.

On the other hand, I've know some perfectly gentlemanly gay men as well. So like I said, just because you're gay, doesn't mean you're exempted from being an assh0le.
 
2004-09-22 04:32:56 PM
2004-09-22 04:19:46 PM ArcadianRefugee

Beerden: If homosexuality is a disease, then, logically, so is heterosexuality.

What kind of logic is "If [x] is bad, then so is [not x]"?

I really don't see the relationship here.


Did I say homosexuality or heterosexuality is bad? No, I did not, in fact I think each has their place in society. One of the interesting things about forums such as this is that it's hard to see the sarcasm.

Homosexuality AND Heterosexuality ARE sexual orientations. In that respect, they are the same.
If Homosexuality = disease then is it not logical to say heterosexuality is also a disease? But if heterosexuality can be said to be not a disease, because physically, our survival has more or less depended on it, then homosexuality must have a yet undefined purpose, which cannot be disease. Neither of them can be a disease.

The only way for this logical statement to be misunderstood is if homosexuality is misunderstood. It is simply a sexual orientation. Ask any heterosexual why they prefer the gender they do, and a homosexual will give exactly the same answer.
 
2004-09-22 04:32:57 PM
NEWS FLASH !

Casual One-Nighter Gives Jimmy Swaggert Change Of Heart On Gay Issue

WASHINGTON, DC
--Jimmy Swaggert, widely known for his conservative views, retooled his hard-line stance against homosexuality after a casual one-nighter last weekend with a D.C.-area man identified only as "Stan."

Swaggert described the homoerotic rendezvous as "a remarkably loving and mutually rewarding exchange of affection between two consenting adults."

"I was mistaken when I said that homosexuals were perverts bent on the destruction of the family and the nation through their wicked, deviant sex acts," a visibly glowing Swaggert told reporters. "Stan respected me for who I was, not just for my body. He was a sharp dresser and a charming conversationalist, not to mention a considerate and attentive lover."

"To all my longtime constituents," Swaggert continued, "I want to stress that this sexual episode was neither planned nor expected. I was heading home from my church office, when I was approached by a tall, handsome man who asked if he could buy me a drink. We had a wonderful conversation about old Judy Garland movies, the sort I used to love back when I was in my mid-70s. Before I knew it, Stan was asking me back to his place to see his house plants. He had incredible blue eyes, the kind that no legislator--liberal or conservative--could resist."

Swaggert went on to state that they had stayed up nearly half the night, talking about such varied topics as men's wear; low-fat gourmet cooking; and the tragic, early deaths of silver-screen luminaries James Dean and Marilyn Monroe.

Swaggert said that his new found friend, a systems analyst in the greater D.C. area, held and cuddled him as he fell asleep, then left him a plate of cheese and fresh fruit salad before leaving for work the following morning.

"He would not have made me breakfast if all he cared about was sex," Thurmond said. "Stan saw me as more than just a piece of meat."

Though reluctant to discuss more personal, intimate details of the encounter, Swaggert did say that "you have not lived until you have brought another man to climax using only your lips and tongue."

Swaggert's aides were quick to point out that despite the homoerotic nature of the encounter and the fact that Swaggert and the gentleman in question have since become "very close," the preacher does not consider himself "gay."

"I see no reason why we must put labels on the man," said Harlan Richardson, Swaggert's longtime press secretary. "It is unfair to judge a man's entire identity on one sexual episode alone. Why must we always speak of 'gay' or 'straight,' when human sexuality is so much more complex than that?"

"Gay, straight, bi--we are all just people," Swaggert said. "Yes, I have known the love that dare not speak its name, but I am still just me, Jimmy Swaggert--a human being."

Swaggert noted that he had been exploring only one facet of his sexuality, and that he remained deeply devoted to his family. He then thanked his wife for being supportive and understanding of his emotional growth.


/props to The Onion
 
2004-09-22 04:33:05 PM
So God wants me to kill people as long as I think they sinned?
 
2004-09-22 04:34:07 PM
BearToy
I am 6'2", and when I was younger, I was about 150 lbs. I used to get hit on by gay men frequently, and it used to freak me out. I would get freaked out, because it wasn't a polite inquiry of 'are you gay?' it was a very invasive hey I wanna 'something really nasty' with you. It gave me some interesting insight about how women in bars feel.

Now that I am older, and over 215 lbs, I don't get hit on, but would take the attitude of your partners friend. I would just be flattered someone wanted to hit on me - and that it doesn't impact my sexuality at all, other than to know their are other people besides my spouse that find me attractive.
 
2004-09-22 04:34:14 PM
BearToy

Why oh why would someone choose to be in a club that is almost universally reviled and abused

alot of folks thrive on negative attention.
just throwin' that out there.
 
2004-09-22 04:34:22 PM
BearToy

LoveInAction
I don't understand something... if being homosexual is okay and just another branch of "normal" behavior

It is. Yes, go on.

for those who choose to do so, then...

Well you just outed yourself as either a bigot, really dumb, or some combination thereof. Homosexuals don't choose to be gay. Why oh why would someone choose to be in a club that is almost universally reviled and abused. By this way of thinking, straight people considered their options and chose to be heterosexual. Laughably preposterous.


One question:

Explain Furries.

/now shut up.
 
2004-09-22 04:34:28 PM
What is this? The farking Gay Pride parade!




/hypocrite
 
2004-09-22 04:34:41 PM
How can anyone condemn someone who was born that way? Hypocritical assHOLE....
 
2004-09-22 04:34:54 PM
Swaggart is such a disgrace to religion. I like to think of the Lord looking down, thinking "What an asshat you are, Jimmy. You think you represent anything I died for?" But anyway...

I had a gay business associate one time. Nice guy. When we did lunch, the babes would all hit on him cuz he was hot. So one evening we went out and he took me to "his" club. I acutally got hit on. Kind of creeped me out a little, but I told the guy that I was a confirmed hetero, and he laughed it off. Strangely, it was like a regular sports bar. No guys dancing together. Just queers, sports on TV, beers and me.

I was trying to recruit the guy for a job. He thought he shouldn't because of his "situation" - openly gay. I told him we wanted him for work, not to sleep with. He took the job and did great.
 
2004-09-22 04:35:31 PM
 
2004-09-22 04:35:33 PM
foxboxchic

I've been to a few gay bars with my best friend, and my biggest complaint is that men are in my bathroom! Dude, I don't care if you are gay or not, GET OUT OF MY BATHROOM. I cannot pee when a man is in my bathroom.

Most of the gay bars I have been to have been that way as well. I always just go to the women's bathroom if I have to pee, I am a lot less likely to be molested there.
 
2004-09-22 04:36:08 PM
comslave


So God wants me to kill people as long as I think they sinned?

and you also have to tell him they died, i think.
 
2004-09-22 04:36:13 PM
Homosexuals don't choose to be gay.

No, but they *do* choose to commit gay acts.
 
2004-09-22 04:37:16 PM
At times, I kinda wish Christianity were true, just because it'd be very funny to watch Jesus open up a can o' smite-ass on these fundy Pharisees come Judgment Day...

//heh, heh, I said "come"
 
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