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(AP)   If you love it when Jimmy Swaggart makes a huge ass of himself, then this is the article for you   (hosted.ap.org) divider line 521
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35255 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Sep 2004 at 3:47 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



521 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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hypnotyza2
2004-09-22 03:49:35 PM
what a wholesome, good christian message to send to his followers.
 
leperboy69
2004-09-22 03:49:41 PM
Must say I've never heard of this Swaggert fellow. Seems like a decent chap though.
 
LondonDungeon
2004-09-22 03:49:42 PM
Jimmy Swaggart's an ass. And this didn't get an OBVIOUS tag because...?
 
moops
2004-09-22 03:49:48 PM
forgive him lord
 
sigdiamond2000 [TotalFark]
2004-09-22 03:49:54 PM
Religion of Peace!

Did I get in in in time?
 
Bonzo_1116
2004-09-22 03:49:57 PM
And this is news how?

I can't believe people still give money to this minion of Satan.
 
Hairdo
2004-09-22 03:50:03 PM
lovin' it!
 
Henchman
2004-09-22 03:50:12 PM
Hugh Jass, party of one? Your tables are ready...
 
troub
2004-09-22 03:50:21 PM
Swaggart said he has jokingly used the expression "killing someone and telling God he died" thousands of times, about all sorts of people.

That must be one of those Christian things, which I am too hedonistic to understand.
 
jph
2004-09-22 03:50:36 PM
The girl Swaggert lost it all over wasn't nearly as hot as Jessica Hahn.
 
sigdiamond2000 [TotalFark]
2004-09-22 03:50:40 PM
Damn!
 
Dogpants
2004-09-22 03:51:24 PM
Once again, Jimmy Swaggart puts the "mental" in "fundamentalist".

There's a particularly hot circle of hell for televangelists.
 
digitalchris
2004-09-22 03:51:27 PM
In the broadcast, Swaggart was discussing his opposition to gay marriage when he said "I've never seen a man in my life I wanted to marry."

And therefore gay marriage is wrong.
QED.
 
moops
2004-09-22 03:51:28 PM
I see Swaggart is a Republican.
 
Mouser
2004-09-22 03:51:57 PM
As a God-fearing, red-blooded Christian who thinks homosexuality is evil, let me be the first to say that Jimmy Swaggart is a jackass.

What happened to "hate the sin, love the sinner" you fool?
 
namatad [TotalFark]
2004-09-22 03:52:15 PM
killing fundamentalists would be bad why?

/time to start shooting bigots again
 
Ant
2004-09-22 03:52:24 PM
Wooo hooo! I love it!
 
stickandmove
2004-09-22 03:52:44 PM
Bonzo_1116

It's not news, it's Fark ;-)
 
digitalchris
2004-09-22 03:52:53 PM
The best part of the article (and no doubt all Swaggart-related news stories):

Swaggart was a popular television evangelist during the 1980s until a 1987 sex scandal involving a prostitute that he met in a seedy New Orleans motel. Swaggart never confessed to anything more than an unspecified sin. A few years later, he was stopped by police while driving in California with a suspected prostitute in his car.
 
sigdiamond2000 [TotalFark]
2004-09-22 03:53:23 PM
George W., meet your constituency.
 
clevershark
2004-09-22 03:53:35 PM
Apparently to fundies death threats are very humorous. I'll try and keep that in mind!
 
john_frink
2004-09-22 03:53:36 PM
Lessee...he:

1. Wants to kill a gay guy.
2. Thinks God wouldn't already know about it.
3. Would lie to God about it.

That makes two violations of a Top Ten Commandment and one assumption that God is an idiot.

Swaggart: going to hell.
 
luckyeddie [TotalFark]
2004-09-22 03:54:07 PM
Hasn't Jimmy Swaggart been deported as a terrorist yet?

/asshat religious fascist frightens the hell out of me
 
LoveInAction
2004-09-22 03:54:13 PM
It's a joke, 'cause ya see, ya can't just tell God that someone died, because He already knows what happened!

/oh, nevermind...
 
BillDarryl
2004-09-22 03:54:24 PM
"If one ever looks at me like that, I'm going to kill him and tell God he died"

If Swaggart ever looks at me for any reason, I'm going to kill him and tell God I killed him.
 
Jaboobinator
2004-09-22 03:54:27 PM
I'm so confused! Tell God he died? He wouldn't already know?

/That's right, me - head - asplode
 
sumupid
2004-09-22 03:54:27 PM
i used to live next door to him. i'd see him every once in a while over our fence. never saw any hookers, though.
 
TurnerBrown
2004-09-22 03:54:45 PM
As a God-fearing, red-blooded Christian who thinks homosexuality is evil, let me be the second to say that Jimmy Swaggart is a jackass.

What happened to "hate the sin, love the sinner" you fool?

/lazy day
 
mofolotopo
2004-09-22 03:55:02 PM
WWJD? Apparently kill gay people. Nice.
 
red230
2004-09-22 03:55:05 PM
I don't know which is more disturbing, the fact that he said it or that his congregation laughed and applauded. These so called Christians really should read the Bible and then look at themselves in the mirror.
 
Todd_In_Texas
2004-09-22 03:55:24 PM
I blame Canada...
 
skinink
2004-09-22 03:55:26 PM

" Evangelist Jimmy Swaggart apologized Wednesday for saying in a televised worship service that he would kill any gay man who looked at him romantically."


But what about someone like me, who's not gay, but would still like to fark Swaggert up the arse ? Would he be more friendly towards me ?


And a girl with a strap on, would that be ok for him as well ? "If thy bunghole offendeth thee, then cut it off; it is better to go thru life without a brownhole, than to be cursed by it."
 
squirrelsarebitingyou
2004-09-22 03:55:47 PM
"If it's an insult, I certainly didn't think it was"

How the hell is it not an insult?!

I'm gonna kill you cuz yer a sinner yuk yuk yuk
 
kregh99
2004-09-22 03:55:52 PM
"And I'm going to be blunt and plain: If one ever looks at me like that, I'm going to kill him and tell God he died," Swaggart said to laughter and applause from the congregation."

I don't know what's more pathetic... that Swaggart said it, or that the whole congregation clapped.

Bring back the Coliseum and the lions for these assholes.
 
LoveInAction
2004-09-22 03:55:56 PM
If a man looked at me romantically, I'd kill his seeing eye dog.
 
Petey4335
2004-09-22 03:56:54 PM
"..God-fearing, red-blooded Christian who thinks homosexuality is evil.."

Don't forget "family values guy and prostitute enthusiast"
 
SherKhan
2004-09-22 03:57:25 PM


Jimmy'd hit it until death do they part.
 
wherewolf-therewolf
2004-09-22 03:57:27 PM
What would happen if a Lesbian "looks at him like that". Would he "... kill her and tell God she died" or would he try and fark her?

Makes you think
 
Cyberfellow100
2004-09-22 03:57:27 PM
I'll bet Swaggart is gay.
 
Tikifish
2004-09-22 03:57:27 PM
Did you ever notice all the guys worried about gay guys hitting on them are incredibly homely? Don't flatter yourself, hon.
 
HellGremlin
2004-09-22 03:57:41 PM
"Kill the gays!", bellows the Christian between in-strokes on a terrified boy's ass. Why are these people dictating the immorality of homosexuality when they themselves can't stop banging children?
 
Wolfanoz
2004-09-22 03:57:45 PM
Let's see here...

It's not our right as a creation of God to judge other creations. Accept people for who they are and let God do the judging.

That is all...
 
mancheese [TotalFark]
2004-09-22 03:57:59 PM
In other news, Jimmy Swaggart does young boys behind the altar. Michael Jackson claims to have learned his techniques from Mr. Swaggart.

"He is very good with the boys, after all..." said Jackson in his most recent hearing.

/What an ass
//probably loves it in the ass
///probably loves the cock
 
john_frink
2004-09-22 03:58:05 PM
"If it's an insult, I certainly didn't think it was, but if they are offended, then I certainly offer an apology."

Yeah! Those dumb gays...always getting insulted when someone says they are an abomination and he wants to kill them. Sheesh, what a PC culture we live in! Can't even say you want to kill all the gays anymore w/o someone getting all upset.
 
Pincy
2004-09-22 03:58:15 PM
I've never seen a man in my life I wanted to marry.

Translation: I'm queer as a 3 dollar bill but I have to keep up this facade in order to fleece my followers for millions.
 
a_cure_for_gravity
2004-09-22 03:58:16 PM
"And I'm going to be blunt and plain: If one ever looks at me like that, I'm going to kill him and tell God he died," Swaggart said to laughter and applause from the congregation.

Somebody tell me again why we're deporting Cat Stevens.

As it is, we can safely chalk this one up as reason #19506 that I'm not a Christian.
 
VillainousBob
2004-09-22 03:58:35 PM
i want to run over a attractive and successful African-American with my car, but if i offend him i certainly offer an apology.
 
sigdiamond2000 [TotalFark]
2004-09-22 03:58:40 PM
Anybody else remember seeing the Penthouse spread with Swaggert's prostitute years back. Ouch. Looked like Chewbacca after a fight down there.
 
The Bruce Dickinson
2004-09-22 03:58:46 PM
Religion of Peas.
 
gremlin1 [TotalFark]
2004-09-22 03:58:47 PM
I don't think Swaggert has anything to worry about.
I can't see guys lining up for him.

Maybe if paid them?
 
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