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(Yahoo) Boobies The reason why Miss Alabama is now Miss USA   ( divider line
    More: Boobies  
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174211 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Sep 2004 at 1:08 PM (13 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

298 Comments     (+0 »)

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2004-09-19 02:39:53 PM  
Hey, Britney's married.

As to the pageant, these women are supposedly all between the ages of 18-24. Even in their airbrushed Stepford Wives official pageant pictures they look like they passed 24 a good ten years ago. Miss Florida looks like she's in her 40's.
2004-09-19 02:41:06 PM  

You're pretty hot yourself! I'd much prefer you over our lucky Alabama contestant!!
2004-09-19 02:41:09 PM  
I'd hit it, but only under the boardwalk

/can't believe no said that yet!
2004-09-19 02:41:14 PM  
Miss Florida could have used the money to get more hair! I hate when women have short hair. It turns even the hottest chick into "meh".

/has very long hair, but secretly wishes it was short sometimes cuz its a pain to blowdry
2004-09-19 02:44:46 PM  
If I knew that was going to be the competition, I would have entered. I need tuition money...

(Guess there's always stripping... )
2004-09-19 02:46:08 PM  
Once again a boobies tag with no actual boobies.

Cock punch to the submitter.
2004-09-19 02:47:03 PM  
2004-09-19 01:40:45 PM Don Dokken,

The first pic that's actually prettier than the winner. Or even AS pretty.

You guys are idiots--where's that studman69 pic when you need it?

Miss DC is also very nice.

All this "eat a sandwich" stuff is pretty dumb also. A body you can bounce a quarter off of--anywhere on her--is a good thing, people. One of the hottest women I've ever known is a bigtime athlete--ROWR. It's not just me either; I've seen her leave a trail of open-mouthed guys in her wake. She could tear me into little bitty pieces any day. Besides, it also means she can be on top...for a while... :D
2004-09-19 02:51:16 PM  
Yarrr, 'tis it the 80's again? 'Tis all cougars that look like ye mistress o' ye boss.
2004-09-19 02:56:38 PM  
2004-09-19 02:22:46 PM Raven72

Is that was passes for beauty these days? She looks like Melissa Rivers' somewhat more attractive evil twin.

drue is correct. Ms. Louisiana should have won. And not just because she's my cousin. :)

/not a close relation, so I'd still hit it.

It's Ms. Louisiana -- I'm guessing anything other than brother and sister isn't considered a close relation. And even then...
2004-09-19 02:57:24 PM  
I could do without the joker-faced snarl which seems to be the standard pose for each of them. Is there some rule that states that all 96 of their teeth have to be showing in each and every picture?

And what's with the bikinis that make them look like they got the maxi-pad the wrong way round?
2004-09-19 02:57:42 PM  
What she was thinking...
2004-09-19 02:59:37 PM  
Compare Miss America with Miss Switzerland (shwon below)
[image from too old to be available]
Not bad, but "I'm so glad I'm living in the USA"
2004-09-19 02:59:57 PM  
Yarrr, I'd be hittin all of the scurvy wenches till the Cap'n make me walk the plank.

/hard to fap with hook-hand. Yarrr
2004-09-19 03:00:05 PM  
BOBFOC = classic.
2004-09-19 03:01:19 PM  
"Miss Florida was better"

If you like Girls that have hair cuts like little boys.

You like little boys
2004-09-19 03:03:34 PM  
She looks OK in the profile shot in the link, but the front shot isn't all that good. Although I figure that's because of bad eyeshadow and too much lipstick.

Does nobody understand "subtle makeup" anymore?

2004-09-19 03:03:45 PM  
Arrrrgh! Pirates like to make landfall in Florida!
2004-09-19 03:04:05 PM  
How TF did Miss Louisiana not win?
2004-09-19 03:07:48 PM  
How do you get your teeth to glow eerie white like that? Do you have to put little LEDs in them, or is it just a mirror trick like making the Statue of Liberty disappear?
2004-09-19 03:16:14 PM  
I liked this image and caption:

[image from too old to be available]
Miss Tennessee Ashley Eicher holds up her shoes as she rides in the likeness of country music star Minnie Pearl along the Miss America parade route on the Boardwalk in Atlantic City, New Jersey, September 17, 2004.

I think you pretty much know you're not going to win when they ask you to dress as Minnie Pearl for the big parade.
2004-09-19 03:19:10 PM  
Alabama = butterface

Miss Louisana lost that coin flip at the end, and her talent was dancing compared to Alabama's singing, and I think that's why she lost.

Miss Florida looks like she got way too much self-tanner on her face and chest and none on her lower legs. Ever heard of a full-length mirror?

I thought Miss Massachusetts was the prettiest. You can see them all with too much makeup on here.
2004-09-19 03:19:44 PM  
Speaking of severe butterfaces, has anyone laughed at today's SBB pics? I'm not sure if those are girls are klingons.
2004-09-19 03:26:51 PM  
Based on the photocall in inconnu's post, I'd have said that

Ms Arkansas,
Ms Arizona,
Ms Indiana,
Ms Louisiana,
Ms Michigan,
Ms New Jersey, and
Ms Virgin Islands

all should've been in any kind of play-off **long** after Ms Alabama had been consigned to the "body okay, face fark-awful" pile.

Just me, like.
2004-09-19 03:28:47 PM  
(edit: sorry, Wildcat's post, not inconnu's.)
2004-09-19 03:31:11 PM  
Not bad, but "I'm so glad I'm living in the USA"

Well she does look real so I guess thats the problem.
I like her better
2004-09-19 03:32:47 PM  
I'd hit it..... with about 7k worth of implants.

An Ms Florida looks like that little hottie from the home improvement show that was giving it up for cash at the aids benefit. What was her name?
2004-09-19 03:34:37 PM  
Screw the real Miss America. I'm heading to LA this Thanksgiving for the Junior Miss America Pageant (sister is Miss Virginia). I think I'm gonna pretend I'm a judge.

"You want to win, don't you?"
2004-09-19 03:34:49 PM  
Miss Montana = Mack Truck.

/as in, "Damn, that girl looks like she got hit by a Mack truck!"
2004-09-19 03:37:58 PM  
Fecal Pandora i actually let out a welp of horror when i saw that.
2004-09-19 03:38:43 PM  
What? No cries of "I'D CROWN IT?" You guys disappoint me...
2004-09-19 03:41:02 PM  

It depends on your tastes. I prefer miss switzerland to miss america. I think this sentence from Tolstoy's War and Peace best sums up my opinion on the matter:

"But Helene seemed, as it were, hardened by a varnish left by the thousands of looks that had scanned her person, while Natasha was like a girl exposed for the first time, who would have felt very much ashamed had she not been assured that this was absolutely necessary."

Miss America looks too varnished to my eyes.
2004-09-19 03:45:25 PM  
So.. it looks like Fecal Pandora's post was a Michael Jackson mask? Pretty freaky.
2004-09-19 03:45:31 PM  
2004-09-19 03:54:04 PM  
2004-09-19 03:04:05 PM JohnnyDanger
How TF did Miss Louisiana not win?

OK, I was at Mom's house, so happened to see this (would not normally watch it, at least not past the swimsuit part).

Miss Louisiana was definitely the hottest but when it got to the final talent competition she just jumped around the stage like a little girl with some music playing. Was absolutely the strangest thing. Miss Alabama had a pretty nice voice and talent is a high % of the vote.

Louisiana also did not fare well in the new "Miss America Quiz" portion, getting only one question right out of 4 or 5.
2004-09-19 03:56:58 PM  
I looked at the lineup and well frankly.....If good looking women get kittens killed... I think i just brought some BACK TO LIFE...

/I'm sayin.. NO
2004-09-19 03:57:29 PM  
While none of those women are particularly unattractive, neither are any of them smoking hot.

What sort of message are we sending to our young girls in this country when we let anything less than a totally smoking hot chick win the title of Miss America.

We need to have standards in this country. Brutal, terrifyingly unreachable standards. This is the only thing these little girls have to live and die for. If they don't have some unobttainable goal of beauty to reach for, then what are they going to do?

Get jobs?

Shyeah right.

2004-09-19 04:01:05 PM  
Hey, you know that painting of Edward Munch's, "The Scream" that was stolen a while back?

I found it HERE
2004-09-19 04:02:53 PM  
Thanks have saved the lives of countless should be proud.

2004-09-19 04:09:56 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

Love is a battlefield!
2004-09-19 04:11:32 PM  
was this the year of the giant foreheads? sheez... Tyra Banks might have had a chance this year!
2004-09-19 04:16:22 PM  
Holy shiat. I was in choir and used to ride the bus to school with Miss Colorado. The world is a small place...
2004-09-19 04:16:58 PM  
I'm with TwistedFark! These chicks are barely above the underage teenage harlots at the mall. I want my Miss USA to be so incredibly hot that it hurts just to look at her. It shouldn't hurt when scores of kittens are killed thinking about her though.

Umm, oh yeah, Miss Bermuda! I'd plunder her booty! YARGH!
2004-09-19 04:17:24 PM  
Alabama's previous Miss America (Heather Whitestone, 1995) looked better, but then she turned into a Republican Wife, moved to Atlanta, and got cochlear implants.
2004-09-19 04:17:25 PM  
Miss Louisiana was definitely the hottest but when it got to the final talent competition she just jumped around the stage like a little girl with some music playing. Was absolutely the strangest thing.

I second that. I had to actually turn away from the TV in embarrassment at Miss Louisiana's "jazz dance." She does get credit for being smokin' hot in the swimsuit competition, however. Miss Alabama didn't seem surprised or thankful to win at the end. I expect these ladies to jump up and down or cry or something.
2004-09-19 04:18:58 PM  
This thread needs more boobies...
[image from too old to be available]
2004-09-19 04:19:12 PM  
What's with the Southern women and the big hair? Only Jennifer Aniston can have that do, and every contestant south of the Mason-Dixon line looks like a freaking horse puppet. Neiggggggggh!
2004-09-19 04:22:38 PM  
I tried to find the least attractive but there are just too many competing for that title.

Some of the runners-up:

South Dakota
[image from too old to be available]

[image from too old to be available]

Rhode Island
[image from too old to be available]
2004-09-19 04:23:05 PM  
Here is a photo of the sexiest woman alive.

[image from too old to be available]
2004-09-19 04:24:18 PM  
Miss Florida = Built to Breed
2004-09-19 04:27:42 PM  
What is the connection with beauty pagents and teacher wanna-be's or children's causes? Always the same types in these things. Then again, I doubt few Astronauts or Chemical Engineers are on the circuit.

"I'm interested in world peace, feeding children, and getting my ass on the space shuttle."
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