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(AZCentral)   53% of "Promise Keepers" viewed pornography in the past week. In other news, 47% of "Promise Keepers" lie when asked if they viewed pornography in the past week   ( azcentral.com) divider line
    More: Obvious  
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29729 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Sep 2004 at 12:00 AM (12 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2004-09-18 02:30:25 AM  
If your wife is bored with sex, go down on her. Not to pick on you or anything but my experience is: 100% of men want the woman to experiment on him, but 25% are willing to experiment on her.
 
2004-09-18 02:31:25 AM  
In my opinion religion is pornography.
 
2004-09-18 02:31:43 AM  
The girls never let me expirement on them, I mean cmon ladies, a couple of electrodes never hurt anyone!!!

I wont even mention the giant anal beads
 
2004-09-18 02:32:30 AM  
ew.
 
2004-09-18 02:35:27 AM  
Miskatonic University: If your wife is bored with sex, go down on her. Not to pick on you or anything but my experience is: 100% of men want the woman to experiment on him, but 25% are willing to experiment on her.

But didn't you know that's an abomination to God? You're not supposed to experiment with her. 100% vanilla is all that's approved.
 
2004-09-18 02:36:12 AM  
Where's the next article? This thread has become a chatroom. It's been two and a half HOURS people!
 
2004-09-18 02:37:50 AM  
HA! And to think, when I was younger, I was a "Promise Keeper". The only promise I've kept was.....no...still haven't read the bible....no...I still jerk it every now and then while checking out porn.... Hmm....I can't think of any. Oh well. Back to D\L-ing porn.
 
2004-09-18 02:38:01 AM  
Mortong, I didn't even know.

Now that I know, it's definitely a sin. Crap.
 
2004-09-18 02:41:46 AM  
Yep, it's tru MU.

But on a more serious note, this has all got me feeling naustalgic... Ah, Promise Keepers. Those were the good ol' days. Attending those rallies, promising never to masturbate again, then wanking it that night in the hotel bathroom, and getting up the next morning to do it all over again. Good times, good times.
 
2004-09-18 02:45:25 AM  
I didnt read any of the previous comments but I wanted to add that I used to work at a restaurant that had Promise Keepers meeting once a month. What it was was a bunch of mysigonists that had a place to gather. They are not tolerant of women, other races, or people finacially below them. Its all about "pro-white men".

AND THEY DIDNT TIP!!!

/enough said
 
2004-09-18 02:48:43 AM  
That whole article reads like a Chick tract.
 
drv
2004-09-18 02:50:59 AM  
2004-09-18 02:30:25 AM Miskatonic University

If your wife is bored with sex, go down on her. Not to pick on you or anything but my experience is: 100% of men want the woman to experiment on him, but 25% are willing to experiment on her.

2004-09-18 02:31:43 AM TheNewJesus

The girls never let me expirement on them, I mean cmon ladies, a couple of electrodes never hurt anyone!!!

I wont even mention the giant anal beads

2004-09-18 02:32:30 AM Miskatonic University

ew.


Best end to a thread evar!!!!11
 
2004-09-18 02:57:01 AM  
Steven R. Tracy, vice president of academic affairs and associate professor of theology and ethics at Phoenix Seminary, said porn-site revenue exceeds that of professional sports and network television.

His research...found 4.2 million pornographic Web sites, 68 million search requests a day, and 1.5 billion downloads a month.


And that was just in the Phoenix Seminary...
 
2004-09-18 03:04:23 AM  
Get better at sex and your wife will like it more, Roland_of_Gilead.

Specifically, be willing to spend the thirty to forty-five minutes of oral it takes to bring a woman all the way to full body orgasm, the sort where they quiver and quake and sweat and shriek. Women go through stages of orgasms, in my experience; it builds and builds, each climax getting more intense until they go "over the waterfall," so to speak.

And never mind Sam Kinison's "alphabet." Every woman I've ever had has said just the opposite: Pick a motion and stick with it; she's got to concentrate on getting there, and if you are all over the map she has to keep starting over. See Whoopi's "Life Saver" routine for further details and remember: it's all about the little man in the boat. Because unless you're Gene Simmons you're not going to hit her G-spot with your tongue.

[image from woz.org too old to be available]
 
2004-09-18 03:08:00 AM  
I went to my first PK convention 11 years ago, and my wife left me while I was gone for those 2 days. She worshipped Oprah, who said, "If you aren't happy - it isn't your fault." I never cheated, no porn, made great money, but I was gone too much on business - which she pushed me for, for the 'coin'.

As they say, 'fact is stranger than fiction'. She re-married 4 months after our divorce to a richer guy. Then she divorced him 3 years later, and now lives in poverty.

My point? I went to PK to become a better husband, but it was too late. My experience was different than those who had bad experiences. I felt hope. Now I see Oprah giving away cars and 'dreams' at the expense of others, and wonder how many other marriges will be lost because of her 'advise' that is sponsored by 'good guys' like GM. Maybe all you who love Michael Moore and Oprah should review his first movie.
 
2004-09-18 03:08:34 AM  
And over here I keep wondering why many Christian ministers concentrate on the Ten Commandments. If Jesus broke the old covenant, then why don't they preach the Beatitudes instead?

Oh right, because the Ten Commandments and all that "eye for an eye" stuff is much scarier. Gotcha.

I'm not anti-Christian, I just didn't get to ask that question of a great Methodist minister I knew before he up and died.
 
2004-09-18 03:09:57 AM  
You know, I once became a "Promise Keeper". Then I realized "Oh, right, I'm not Christian. *Fapfapfappityfapfapfap*"
 
2004-09-18 03:13:42 AM  
Promise keepers make me so sad. It's like watching the Hale Bop cult or something, so much good intention wasted in the wrong directions...
 
2004-09-18 03:17:04 AM  
Savorydave - Do I have to choose between Oprah and a group of crazy fundies? It's sort of like the whole Don Giovanni or crazy fundies argument from earlier. I choose "C," none of the above.
 
2004-09-18 03:19:39 AM  
This thread needs more porn.
 
2004-09-18 03:20:29 AM  
that's cool too...
 
2004-09-18 03:25:32 AM  
The bible? You are kidding right? The bible is not meant to be taken LITERALLY! It was written mostly by people who weren't even alive when Jesus was. It has been edited, interpreted, and massaged countless times over the years. The bible is more of a history book, a book of stories meant to make people live more civil.

Must be tough living your life in fear.
 
2004-09-18 03:41:39 AM  
I may be wrong, but being that it is the most printed book in the history of printing - I'd say, I'm pretty comfortable in believeing it. We've (Christians) managed to muck it up alot, but that is a matter of our egos more than anything wrong with the content.

Hey you believe what you want, but I (who make no bones about spankin' it while I'm single) have to defend PK as a movement of good intentions, where men were asked to simply come back to their families - not rule them.
 
2004-09-18 03:43:29 AM  
My marriage was kind of hurting, you know, it had gotten hum-drum and boring, same thing every day. I went to a Promise Keepers meeting, and they encouraged me and my wife to experiment sexually. My wife is into anal now, but I find it painful. I think I will buy her a smaller dildo.
The oral sex was boring though. I got all worked up talking about all the things I like and she fell asleep.
 
2004-09-18 03:46:51 AM  
2004-09-18 02:20:51 AM xfkirsten

Priapulid

PromiseKeepers = Peacekeepers? Hmmm... two dogmatic, hypocritical organizations... maybe a closer link than it first seems... frell them both!

/'Scaper


Yes but the guy in the pic was named Bilar Crais. *Bi*, get it? What a giveaway.

/"Listen, I don't speak that R2D2 crap so we're going to use the Star Trek system. One blink yes, two no.
//Farscape rules!
 
2004-09-18 03:48:54 AM  
Savorydave, so your wife worshipped Oprah and that's why your mariage failed. I find that pretty funny.

Highly improbable, but funny.
 
2004-09-18 03:49:42 AM  
When I was in college, a bunch of my buddies and I were sitting around drinking on Halloween. Being drunk and it being Halloween we got on the hot topic of horror films and we started arguing about which film was the scariest. In the middle of our drunken argument, my roomate walks in and states the scariest movie ever was "Night of the Living Promise Keepers". We immediately declared him the winner.
 
2004-09-18 03:52:43 AM  
Oh, and most of that crap about dominating your spouse is not a part of PK instructions. When they say that the man should lead the family, it means that his decisions are so selfless, and so responsible, that he EARNS that right through the trust of his wife. I know, it's like, all horrible and stuff.
I am not a PKer nor a fundie but I think it's funny how hostile Farkers are to religious people. You all need to remember that it's not religion that causes injustice, it's ideology. Mao, Stalin, and Hitler weren't religious people. (okay, Hitler wanted a return to the old german paganism of pre-christian era, but only for nationalistic reasons)
Stalin killed more than 20 million, Hitler probably close to 8 million Jews, Gypsies, handicapped, homosexuals, etc... and Mao killed so many nobody even has an accurate count.

If you want to believe you don't just cease to exist when you die, I think that's fine. If you feel better holding yourself to high standards of conduct, even better. But you'll have to realize that everyone who doesn't will hate you for being so clean even if you don't mention it to anyone.

I did, in fact, try it. I was kind of religious for a while, but slacked off. Never was preachy or judgemental about it, but I sure did get to hear it from my friends about not drinking and stuff. It was just something I wanted to do, for myself. I found that the Ayn Rand reading atheists were more forceful and sure of their beliefs than the doubt-riddled religious people I studied with. I call them evangelical atheists now.
 
2004-09-18 03:56:33 AM  
Miskatonic University

Where's the next article? This thread has become a chatroom. It's been two and a half HOURS people!


Well, we could do what was done almost 4 days ago, with a pointless thread that was the only news for like 5 hours... that is, threadjack it to the purpose of pushing it to infinity. (which was successful, until all the off-topic posts... 90% of them, got deleted)

Then again, I don't feel like being banninated for a few days... again... for the same thing that I was banninated for 4 days ago (color shifting hats thread).

This article was a good source of amusement though, as it tempted me to go to Jack T. Chick's website and try and find a reference to fapping and pornography on it. Apparently, that's a topic that even Jack T. Chick won't touch... which is a pity. I'd really like to see one of his tracts on that topic, for the sheer ridiculousness of it.

I can just imagine it now, about these evil kids who teach this potentially bad/good kid about masturbation, and he runs and tells this nice man about it. This nice man, strangely enough, resembles Jack T. Chick, down to the "child molester" mustach that he has. Jack's comic avatar sets the kid straight, but leaves plenty of opportunities for the sick-minded (myself) to pervert nearly everything he says.

I'd love to see a photoshop contest involving Jack T. Chick tracts.
 
2004-09-18 03:58:39 AM  
Not a porn fan myself. But why the hell are they against it? It does many relationships good.
Hehehe, also, just like my brother told me when I was a kid..
"Just think of them as training videos."
 
2004-09-18 03:58:55 AM  
Well I certainly hope these Prom Dress Keepers are against pornography! I hate to think of some pervert viewing Betty Page reels while fondling a young woman's special dance gown! And how did they get their hands on some girl's tafetta anyhow? It seems to me that...

....what's that you say, Cheddar? Oh? OH!

NEVERMIND.
 
2004-09-18 04:01:02 AM  
When Paul says "I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man" in the second epistle of Timothy, he very clearly does not add any other qualifiers. Your cute little apologetic arguments might apply if he did, or if he added a similar passage regarding the duties of men, but he did not do either. There is no passage that says "I do not permit a man to teach or have authority over a woman;" because the original passage in question very clearly places males in a domineering position.

Personally, I'm a little worried that somehow the divinely inspired word of God (I do not permit a woman to teach or have authority over a man) is only truly understood by an impossibly elite few with a decade of serious theological study under their belts. Then again, I often forget that Christianity is a religion about never questioning any authority (human or otherwise) and working your plowshare.
 
2004-09-18 04:01:17 AM  
The problem is that Promise Keepers are fundamentally weak and can't control themselves.
 
2004-09-18 04:02:04 AM  
Promise-Keeping means you're Not Lying.

This is meant to appeal to women.

Women, as a whole, freekin' HATE lying and liars. It's one of their top 3 pet peeves in life.

Here's an example: watch the Scott Peterson trial talking-head females as they cover the trial. Most don't seem anywhere near as concerned about the evidence or lack thereof as much as they freak over his lying in taped conversations. Just watch their faces when they discuss his lies .. it's absolutely visceral. The talking-head males, on the other hand, mainly think it's much less important to the case. And they don't get all worked up over it.

/just sayin' ..
 
2004-09-18 04:02:21 AM  
An interesting book: An Affair of the Mind
 
2004-09-18 04:02:51 AM  
Every Man's Battle: Winning the War on Sexual Temptation One Victory at a Time

Just what the fark is wrong with these people? We're all human. Embrace it. Denial will simply add to your neurosis.
 
2004-09-18 04:05:34 AM  
2004-09-18 03:52:43 AM ChaoticLimbs


I am not a PKer nor a fundie but I think it's funny how hostile Farkers are to religious people. You all need to remember that it's not religion that causes injustice, it's ideology. Mao, Stalin, and Hitler weren't religious people. (okay, Hitler wanted a return to the old german paganism of pre-christian era, but only for nationalistic reasons)


I'm calling bullshiat on this one. Are you deliberately ignoring the crusades? Or every single violent religious movement throughtout the ages? The body count from 'religious' conflicts make the non religious ideological ones pale in comparison.
 
2004-09-18 04:10:12 AM  
Cyber_Junk

Without getting into an argument on the very validity of religion and how many people have dies from it, can't we at least agree that the Promise Keepers are a bunch of self righteous assbags who depend on one another to reinforce their perverted ideas of society?
 
2004-09-18 04:10:39 AM  
I'm not going to bother reading the article, because the subject doesn't surprise me, but was there a quote along the lines of, "I try to ignore the boobies links, but I keep getting drawn in by the fact that they BOUNCE!"?

At the church I go to, a group of men went to a Promise Keepers convention shortly after I joined. One Sunday night a few of them were asked to tell of their experience to the congregation. One guy got all teary and said, "I need to be a better husband/father, blah, blah, blah." Good for him, but what the hell did he think he was supposed to be doing when he proposed to his wife and begat his kids? Marriage is a game for grown men that is being played by too many very large boys.

I consider myself a relatively conservative Southern Baptist, even though I'm less conservative about some things that get me pounced on by my fellow Christians. If these guys would just stand up and be men *before* they go to one of these conventions, and if they would read the Bible for themselves instead of having it interpreted for them in a completely skewed way, there wouldn't be nearly as many problems. By all means, lead the family, because the family needs a leader, but honor your wife, and don't be a douchebag dictator. Eve was put in Eden to help Adam and keep him company, not to be his lackey and doormat. Love your kids and watch out for them, but don't hesitate to put the smackdown on them when they start acting like little punks.

Just think about how many social ills we have due to men not filling their roles. A past president who enthralled the nation by getting a hummer from a young intern? How many single mothers raising kids alone? How many men sitting at home using their unemployment check to drink beer all day?

Newsweek recently had a frontpage story about how women are cheating more. I wonder how many women are tempted to cheat because their husbands are weak pansies?

Lest anyone think I'm a self-hating man, you girls have your share of problems, too.
 
2004-09-18 04:10:52 AM  
Gotta keep in mind what these folks consider porn is quite a bit broader than what everyone else does. My mother (God bless her soul) honest-to-goodness thinks Maxim etc. are porn.
 
2004-09-18 04:13:24 AM  
WHAT THE FARK IS WRONG WITH GERMAN PEOPLE?!?!/~#ONE!1POUND!#!1
 
2004-09-18 04:20:23 AM  
** Important announcement for Promise Keepers **

We are all very impressed that you don't check out the hot ladies you see on the street. However, you should probably bear in mind that your wives still check out the guys they see (they are just a little more subtle about it).

Anyway, carry on, you righteous dudes!
 
2004-09-18 04:23:51 AM  
Before this, I had never heard of "Promise Keepers". I led a quiet and happy life...

/back under my rock
 
2004-09-18 04:34:12 AM  
daduru -

First, you have to prove that you crapped a 10 inch log. Mail it to me. My address is 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue....

/I keed! I keed!
 
2004-09-18 04:39:33 AM  
2004-09-18 04:10:52 AM BigJake
Gotta keep in mind what these folks consider porn is quite a bit broader than what everyone else does. My mother (God bless her soul) honest-to-goodness thinks Maxim etc. are porn.


Your mother is right. And we like it.
 
2004-09-18 04:43:02 AM  
SpinStopper: Me neither. What have I been missing?!?

But anyway...the principle of Promise Keepers (men: be more responsible and know that you have friends you can talk to), as interpreted by Fark et al., don't seem *that* bad, but definitely poorly executed. Specifically the men confiding/getting advice from other men.

When has a guy *ever* given good advice to another guy unless it involves carpentry or auto engines? If I want advice on personal issues or relationships, I go to my woman-friends. In fact, I really miss being able to go for long walks with some of them and talk about things. If anything, Promise Keepers should be about establishing better cross-gender support groups and not perpetuate sexism by being a guy's club.

Getting advice from another guy...hah! 75% of the time is wrong on purpose so they can get a good laugh, and the other 25% came from something they heard from another friend.
 
2004-09-18 04:47:51 AM  
Oh well...with Fark being dead tonight, I guess I'll go to bed. Have to get up and go to #@5@ing CPR class this morning.

I fully intend on getting to 2nd Base with Resuscitation Annie. I'd be going for 3rd, but she probably doesn't have one.

Also need to go get cash so I can pay for using the little whore.
 
2004-09-18 04:52:08 AM  
Tigerspirit,

Threadjack be damned, thanks for the info. This was interesting, from his bio:

Phil enjoys spending time with his large family (right), gardening, hunting, fishing, and tinkering with cars (no surpise there). He is active in his church (OK), with the Boy Scouts (hm, well), and is on the Executive Committee of the local branch of the NAACP (he WHAT?!).
 
2004-09-18 04:54:45 AM  
[image from home.houston.rr.com too old to be available]
 
2004-09-18 05:14:26 AM  
The funny part of this post is that most of the saber rattling in here is done by those who dare not rattle that saber in public because they lack a spine. But what do you expect from college kids and unhapply married men lurking eharmony.com for one nighters. Now that is funny. I am not sure which is worse.

Porn Addicts or Spineless dweebs whose only intellectual outlet is FARK.

/Flips quarter and ponders Listing Ebay Auction for Life.
 
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