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(CNN)   Man sues wife for not having sex with him   (cnn.aimtoday.cnn.com) divider line 184
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27897 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Sep 2004 at 11:58 PM (9 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



184 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2004-09-17 06:10:35 PM
Um, okay. What's next, suing her for not staying in the kitchen, cleaning the floors, making dinner?
 
2004-09-17 06:29:35 PM
SuperSix-Two - Um, okay. What's next, suing her for not staying in the kitchen, cleaning the floors, making dinner?

Nah, that's what the back of your hand is for.

/Just kidding. Don't hate me.
 
2004-09-17 06:30:09 PM
Hey, let's start a class action lawsuit...all of us who haven't had sex with his wife could join as plaintiffs.
Right?
 
2004-09-17 06:30:49 PM
I think if you bathed every once in awhile it would probably help things immensely.
 
2004-09-17 06:34:27 PM
I haven't gotten a blow job in at least 24-hours... where the fark is my lawyer!
 
2004-09-17 06:36:34 PM
Litigation: Lamest attempt at foreplay ever.

Yep, that outta put her in the mood.
 
2004-09-17 06:40:18 PM
Must have thought he was in Iran or something.
 
2004-09-17 06:44:37 PM
A Spanish man tried to have his wife charged with domestic abuse because she refused to have sex with him on five consecutive days

5 days?
....
I'm guessing he's not working right now.
 
2004-09-17 07:01:21 PM
I'm going to start making all my future girlfriends sign agreements on the amount of sex we have per week...thats the ticket
 
2004-09-17 07:44:08 PM
this is a tough one...i've always believed it it some sort of sex everyday....but then again i am not involved with some asshat that is so sorry he has to sue for sex....
 
2004-09-17 08:19:49 PM
Litigation turns me on. Bring it on.

/yawn
 
2004-09-17 10:17:22 PM
"ooooohhhh......you said woo her....."
 
2004-09-17 11:31:48 PM
"Honey, I had to take some money out of your wallet to pay for the judgment."
 
2004-09-18 12:01:06 AM
HERO tag?
 
2004-09-18 12:02:28 AM
And this is Spain, and the judge shelved. I can't wait to show this article to a Brit I know on the internet who believes, Biblically speaking, that you must allow your husband to know you, Biblically speaking, whenever he wants to. Biblically speaking.
 
2004-09-18 12:03:51 AM
I'd like to sue my ex for thinking he was pleasuring me when we had sex.

He was my first and I even knew he was horrible.
 
2004-09-18 12:04:20 AM
Blame your tiny penis, sucker !
 
2004-09-18 12:05:28 AM
Submitted it hours ago with a funny headline;

Man Tries to Sue Wife for 5-Day Sex Denial, Judge says, "Talk to the Hand."
 
2004-09-18 12:06:47 AM
Shortest. Article. Evar.

/just masturbate, already
 
2004-09-18 12:07:25 AM
Finally a lawsuit that I actually think is pretty damn cool
 
Ike [TotalFark]
2004-09-18 12:07:53 AM
Wow, you can do this?

/Off to make money from friends' upcoming legal fees
 
2004-09-18 12:08:09 AM
 
2004-09-18 12:08:50 AM
I can see that.

Do you think I can get one of those TV lawyers to take my case?
 
2004-09-18 12:08:50 AM
swingbozo

pneumonic device

North South East West
No Spainard Enjoys Washing

/from TV Funhouse
 
2004-09-18 12:09:20 AM
esblondie2
Bio: I'm a lazy procrastinator who likes to have a good time.


And you're idea of a good time is.... reading articles like this on fark?

/tries to pick people up on fark
 
2004-09-18 12:16:13 AM
Well, I AM drinking, and I've been out all week so I decided to take it easy tonight.

I also blow off half my workday on Fark.

So, yeah.... Fark is a good time.
 
2004-09-18 12:17:42 AM
Woo her? Shoulda John-Woo'd her :D

I kid, I kid...
 
2004-09-18 12:19:30 AM
She should have counter sued for him being a pig
 
2004-09-18 12:20:15 AM
Was the husband's name Steve Bosell?
 
2004-09-18 12:21:42 AM
Hey, let's start a class action lawsuit...all of us who haven't had sex with his wife could join as plaintiffs.
Right?


Sure...but I'm out of the suit...
 
2004-09-18 12:22:36 AM
Can I sue every woman on Earth for not having sex with me for the past 5 years?
 
2004-09-18 12:24:26 AM
I think he's my barber.

/got nothin'
 
2004-09-18 12:25:22 AM
Did you know there is a line in the Bible that tells women they should never refuse to have sex with their husbands, even if they've been arguing that same day?

There is.
Realio-truelio

Seems like sensible advice to me.
 
2004-09-18 12:25:25 AM
essucht

That is a better headline!
 
2004-09-18 12:31:14 AM
In Louisiana you can divorce your wife for this.
 
2004-09-18 12:35:44 AM
For only five days? Man, i'm lucky if I get it twice a month!
 
2004-09-18 12:39:40 AM
This seems like it should strangely tie in with the Promise Keeper thread.

/goes off to read that thread
 
2004-09-18 12:40:53 AM
And this is Spain, and the judge shelved. I can't wait to show this article to a Brit I know on the internet who believes, Biblically speaking, that you must allow your husband to know you, Biblically speaking, whenever he wants to. Biblically speaking.

Did you know there is a line in the Bible that tells women they should never refuse to have sex with their husbands, even if they've been arguing that same day?


I believe the "line" you are referring to is this:

I Corinthians 7:4-5:
4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
5 Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.

Notice: The wife has not power over her own body, but the husband does and the husband has not power over his body but the wife does, and neither one should keep sex away from the other unless you are fasting and praying.
 
2004-09-18 12:41:07 AM
Too bad So sad.
 
2004-09-18 12:41:44 AM
Sex is overrated. Try melancholy!
 
2004-09-18 12:42:12 AM
I've heard of a spouse of an injured person sue for lack of sexual services resulting from the injury (called "loss of consortium" in legalese). Never heard of actually suing the spouse.

Maybe he should start working out, maybe slip his wife some Spanish fly.
 
2004-09-18 12:43:10 AM
StinkyPinky

Could you like, find that reference in the Louisiana law somewhere?

Not that I don't believe you. Not at all. I'm just curious.
 
2004-09-18 12:43:38 AM
My wife refuses sex for about a week out of every month.

And believe me, I am perfectly okay with that.
 
2004-09-18 12:45:59 AM
Only in Spainerica

/nothing
 
2004-09-18 12:46:10 AM
Lawsuits like this are stupid, granted, but think about it. If you marry someone, you're entering into a binding lifetime contract. One of the terms of that contract is that you won't have sex with anyone else -- unless of course your partner consents, which makes you one lucky swinger. If you contractually renounce sex with any other person, I think there is at least an implied contractual obligation on the spouse to put out but not everyone agrees.

I've thought a lot about how I could be sued ("divorced") and risk losing everything I own if I am unfaithful, but there is no punishment for my spouse becau-- *cough* I mean, if she is frigid.
 
2004-09-18 12:47:27 AM
I guess I take my girlfriend to the cleaners now for denying my god-given right to felch her while she's pilloried and being splatterea'ed on by our herd of rabid goats. Cool.

Yes, essucht's headline was indeed better.
 
2004-09-18 12:49:50 AM
Call me a neanderthal, but if married both parties shouldn't play games with this... so... my vote, is take the sex.

If she leaves, who cares? Chances are if she is telling him 'no' she is probably telling some other dude(s) 'yes.'
 
2004-09-18 12:49:52 AM
Under this precedent, I plan to sue Mrs.Thepenguin for approximately 7,000 violations of 18 USC 1191, Egregious Failure to Let Me Perform Anal.

That said, I'm open to plea bargaining a reduced sentence.
 
2004-09-18 12:50:38 AM
lokidecat

Gotta earn your red wings dude.
 
2004-09-18 12:53:36 AM
How can this lawsuit be legal? It's rape if you force your wife to have sex with you, but sue her if she won't??? And why doesn't he just file for divorce? Or can't he?

Or leave her with no money, take off somewhere. She'll file.
 
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