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(Some Guy)   Give advice on a subject you know nothing about. Voting enabled   (bandersnatch.com) divider line 479
    More: Advice  
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6703 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Sep 2004 at 12:14 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2004-09-08 12:20:25 PM
If you show a chick a lovely evening - bring her some flowers, etc. - she will give you relations.
 
2004-09-08 12:20:42 PM
Always remember to wrap the duct tape around the gerbil in a clockwise direction. Another tip: Clear duct tape adds to the experience.
 
2004-09-08 12:22:11 PM
The process you need to go through to sign up for Ultrafa

***Carrier Lost***
 
2004-09-08 12:22:29 PM
Complaining about the Mods posting repeat links on Fark.com and being too stupid to see the stories you pic with your better headline is the best way to have your story posted.
 
2004-09-08 12:22:58 PM
The key to a woman's heart is through her tummy...

/married 18 years and still doesn't know...
 
2004-09-08 12:23:12 PM
A woman is like...a refrigerator! They're about six feet tall, 300 lbs.....they...make ice.
 
2004-09-08 12:23:16 PM
Posting pictures of tubgirl on fark will make you the most popular farker ever and could result in Drew granting you a free TF account.
 
2004-09-08 12:23:32 PM
I don't care what's wrong with you. Just put some Windex on it...
 
2004-09-08 12:23:37 PM
So if you can't dance, just find someone that looks like they know what they're doing. And make fun of them.
 
2004-09-08 12:24:13 PM
All Voters:

You should all vote for Kerry because Bush is a doo-doo head!
 
2004-09-08 12:24:45 PM
Here is what you need to do. Take a scalpel and slice down the kittens tummy. (make sure you made it sleep first) Then take out the red thingamagig. Yeah. That one there. Then cut it where it is still connected to the other red stuff.

Got it? Ok.

Then sew it all up again. Voila! No baby kittens in your future!
 
2004-09-08 12:24:48 PM
Freebasing crushed up Pez makes you SO farking high.
 
2004-09-08 12:24:50 PM
When re-entering the Earth's atmosphere, don't forget to open your chutes.

 
2004-09-08 12:24:57 PM
White pants are perfect to celebrate the first day of your period.
 
2004-09-08 12:25:01 PM
Farting during sex is considered an EXTREME turn-on.
 
2004-09-08 12:25:01 PM
Son, the secret to understanding a woman is to walk a mile in her pumps with a tampoon shoved up your ass.
 
2004-09-08 12:25:11 PM
IF she weighs the same as a duck she's made of wood, and therefore...A WITCH!
 
2004-09-08 12:25:12 PM
Chicks dig it when you fart on a first date.
 
2004-09-08 12:25:16 PM
If you're trying to lose weight, I suggest not excersizing at all, it will allow your muscles to put full effort on losing weight. Sit on the couch, take naps and sleep as much as possible. Also, eat as much as you possibly can to increase your metabolism. 5000 calories daily, minimum.
 
2004-09-08 12:25:23 PM
I'm not an expert on anything, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express.
 
2004-09-08 12:25:37 PM
Build a man a fire, he is warm for the night.
Set a man on fire, he is warm for the rest of his life.
 
2004-09-08 12:26:24 PM
2004-09-08 11:39:02 AM Unfreakable

Sometimes the M-80 is a dud. If it doesn't blow up after the fuse burns down, go pick it up and shake it. Put it next to your ear to see if it sounds "solid."

Hell, if there's still a bit of fuse left, go ahead and light that.


Thanks to Unfreakable, I know all about hot coffee coming out my nose. My advice, don't do it!
 
2004-09-08 12:26:33 PM
Bored on a a rainy day? Try sitting on the toilet backwards. It's fun!
 
2004-09-08 12:27:04 PM
missmez

Nice obscure Real Genius quote. =)
 
2004-09-08 12:27:12 PM
I stayed at a holiday inn express....it smelled funny, and the UV light found some stains on my bed :O
 
2004-09-08 12:27:15 PM
Always lick a girl going counter clockwise, don't shave, go as fast as you can, and as hard as you can.

/married
 
2004-09-08 12:27:23 PM
For reason too many to put here, Supertramp will go down as the best band in the history of music.
 
2004-09-08 12:27:32 PM
Ok, the knee bone is connected to the leg bone. The leg bone is connected to the hip bone...
 
2004-09-08 12:27:32 PM
R.T.F.M (i should do this from time to time.)
 
2004-09-08 12:27:33 PM
Go down the road about half a mile, and turn right at the gas station. Go down that road to the second stoplight and turn left, then right.

You can't miss it.
 
2004-09-08 12:27:46 PM
When the subject of a thread is "Give advice on a subject you know nothing about", ignore the directions. Give bad advice instead.
 
2004-09-08 12:28:03 PM
The best way to get media (and possibly world-wide) attention is to do something unusual. The more outrageous, the better. For example, you might consider sticking a beer bottle up your ass...
 
2004-09-08 12:28:06 PM
Remember, a little sand in the crisco makes fisting even more exciting.
 
2004-09-08 12:28:07 PM
The parachute assembly shoudl go right here.
 
2004-09-08 12:28:09 PM
Eating babies gives Jesus magical powers
 
2004-09-08 12:28:29 PM
Posting enough winnign photoshop entires on Fark may send yoru to internet god status, however will not assist in moving you out of your parents basement.
 
2004-09-08 12:28:29 PM
First you remove the trigger assembly. Then, carefully remove the sear. Return the trigger assembly to the mini 14 and....

Oh wait, something I know nothing about. Damn!
 
2004-09-08 12:28:33 PM
alwey's chek, ur speling; und gramer? and duble 'poste" when posibel.
 
2004-09-08 12:29:01 PM
Homer Simpson hasn't gained an ounce in all the years he's been on television (excepting the Mu Mu episode) and so obviously has the right idea on dieting and exercise. Follow his example and you can never go wrong.
 
2004-09-08 12:29:15 PM
Click to check the little box thingy next to "Always trust content from T3h anti spi, inc" and then click the "Yes" button...
 
2004-09-08 12:29:36 PM
"Give advice on a subject you know nothing about. Voting enabled"

At first I thought this was a joke. Isn't that what people do on EVERY FARK thread?
 
2004-09-08 12:29:47 PM
Yelling out your girlfriends sisters name during sex is an effective way to a good healthy marriage.


/she don't love me no more.
//but her sister does.
 
2004-09-08 12:29:58 PM
HAHAHAHAHAH! Wait, you're serious. You really think there is a subject I know nothing about. Well, since there isn't, I am disqualified from playing this game.
 
2004-09-08 12:30:30 PM
Don't worry, I took the pill yesterday, and since it's time released I will be fine.
 
2004-09-08 12:31:05 PM
don't forget to vote for the multi millionaire, ruling class gasbag of your choice to ensure diversity.
 
2004-09-08 12:31:08 PM
Give advice on a subject you know nothing about.

Uh, how is this thread different than any other Fark comments thread?
 
2004-09-08 12:31:13 PM
Torque wrench, schmork wrench. Tighten till it feels right.
 
2004-09-08 12:31:26 PM
This guy in a bus station once told me you can make yourself a homemade jacuzzi with a bath tub and a hair dryer.
 
2004-09-08 12:31:30 PM
"You can use old motor oil to fertilize your lawn."

/in Tyler we trust

(not mine so no voting)
 
2004-09-08 12:31:34 PM
Laughing about degenerative diseases gets you into Heaven.
 
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