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(Some Guy)   Give advice on a subject you know nothing about. Voting enabled   (bandersnatch.com) divider line 479
    More: Advice  
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6703 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Sep 2004 at 12:14 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



479 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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amoricanCrowe
2004-09-08 12:20:25 PM
If you show a chick a lovely evening - bring her some flowers, etc. - she will give you relations.
 
trapped-in-CH
2004-09-08 12:20:42 PM
Always remember to wrap the duct tape around the gerbil in a clockwise direction. Another tip: Clear duct tape adds to the experience.
 
show me [TotalFark]
2004-09-08 12:22:11 PM
The process you need to go through to sign up for Ultrafa

***Carrier Lost***
 
skinink
2004-09-08 12:22:29 PM
Complaining about the Mods posting repeat links on Fark.com and being too stupid to see the stories you pic with your better headline is the best way to have your story posted.
 
The Onanist
2004-09-08 12:22:58 PM
The key to a woman's heart is through her tummy...

/married 18 years and still doesn't know...
 
strangeffect
2004-09-08 12:23:12 PM
A woman is like...a refrigerator! They're about six feet tall, 300 lbs.....they...make ice.
 
Ol' Doc Washburn
2004-09-08 12:23:16 PM
Posting pictures of tubgirl on fark will make you the most popular farker ever and could result in Drew granting you a free TF account.
 
CapitalistOppressor
2004-09-08 12:23:32 PM
I don't care what's wrong with you. Just put some Windex on it...
 
g33kgrrl
2004-09-08 12:23:37 PM
So if you can't dance, just find someone that looks like they know what they're doing. And make fun of them.
 
ez151
2004-09-08 12:24:13 PM
All Voters:

You should all vote for Kerry because Bush is a doo-doo head!
 
felixecho
2004-09-08 12:24:45 PM
Here is what you need to do. Take a scalpel and slice down the kittens tummy. (make sure you made it sleep first) Then take out the red thingamagig. Yeah. That one there. Then cut it where it is still connected to the other red stuff.

Got it? Ok.

Then sew it all up again. Voila! No baby kittens in your future!
 
Rev. Skarekroe [TotalFark]
2004-09-08 12:24:48 PM
Freebasing crushed up Pez makes you SO farking high.
 
Adman12 [TotalFark]
2004-09-08 12:24:50 PM
When re-entering the Earth's atmosphere, don't forget to open your chutes.
 
eipster
2004-09-08 12:24:57 PM
White pants are perfect to celebrate the first day of your period.
 
TotalHell
2004-09-08 12:25:01 PM
Farting during sex is considered an EXTREME turn-on.
 
Tickman
2004-09-08 12:25:01 PM
Son, the secret to understanding a woman is to walk a mile in her pumps with a tampoon shoved up your ass.
 
LiaLia [TotalFark]
2004-09-08 12:25:11 PM
IF she weighs the same as a duck she's made of wood, and therefore...A WITCH!
 
show me [TotalFark]
2004-09-08 12:25:12 PM
Chicks dig it when you fart on a first date.
 
ServZero
2004-09-08 12:25:16 PM
If you're trying to lose weight, I suggest not excersizing at all, it will allow your muscles to put full effort on losing weight. Sit on the couch, take naps and sleep as much as possible. Also, eat as much as you possibly can to increase your metabolism. 5000 calories daily, minimum.
 
dletter [TotalFark]
2004-09-08 12:25:23 PM
I'm not an expert on anything, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express.
 
snackwagon
2004-09-08 12:25:37 PM
Build a man a fire, he is warm for the night.
Set a man on fire, he is warm for the rest of his life.
 
The Southern Dandy
2004-09-08 12:26:24 PM
2004-09-08 11:39:02 AM Unfreakable

Sometimes the M-80 is a dud. If it doesn't blow up after the fuse burns down, go pick it up and shake it. Put it next to your ear to see if it sounds "solid."

Hell, if there's still a bit of fuse left, go ahead and light that.

Thanks to Unfreakable, I know all about hot coffee coming out my nose. My advice, don't do it!
 
Big Jimmy Oswald
2004-09-08 12:26:33 PM
Bored on a a rainy day? Try sitting on the toilet backwards. It's fun!
 
felixecho
2004-09-08 12:27:04 PM
missmez

Nice obscure Real Genius quote. =)
 
ServZero
2004-09-08 12:27:12 PM
I stayed at a holiday inn express....it smelled funny, and the UV light found some stains on my bed :O
 
GregoryD
2004-09-08 12:27:15 PM
Always lick a girl going counter clockwise, don't shave, go as fast as you can, and as hard as you can.

/married
 
Kevthecatslayer
2004-09-08 12:27:23 PM
For reason too many to put here, Supertramp will go down as the best band in the history of music.
 
Tizzle McMizzle
2004-09-08 12:27:32 PM
Ok, the knee bone is connected to the leg bone. The leg bone is connected to the hip bone...
 
Cluster_1
2004-09-08 12:27:32 PM
R.T.F.M (i should do this from time to time.)
 
TotalHell
2004-09-08 12:27:33 PM
Go down the road about half a mile, and turn right at the gas station. Go down that road to the second stoplight and turn left, then right.

You can't miss it.
 
show me [TotalFark]
2004-09-08 12:27:46 PM
When the subject of a thread is "Give advice on a subject you know nothing about", ignore the directions. Give bad advice instead.
 
harryjrf
2004-09-08 12:28:03 PM
The best way to get media (and possibly world-wide) attention is to do something unusual. The more outrageous, the better. For example, you might consider sticking a beer bottle up your ass...
 
Eclectic [TotalFark]
2004-09-08 12:28:06 PM
Remember, a little sand in the crisco makes fisting even more exciting.
 
sofarked
2004-09-08 12:28:07 PM
The parachute assembly shoudl go right here.
 
Kevthecatslayer
2004-09-08 12:28:09 PM
Eating babies gives Jesus magical powers
 
probesport
2004-09-08 12:28:29 PM
Posting enough winnign photoshop entires on Fark may send yoru to internet god status, however will not assist in moving you out of your parents basement.
 
LittleSmitty
2004-09-08 12:28:29 PM
First you remove the trigger assembly. Then, carefully remove the sear. Return the trigger assembly to the mini 14 and....

Oh wait, something I know nothing about. Damn!
 
Ol' Doc Washburn
2004-09-08 12:28:33 PM
alwey's chek, ur speling; und gramer? and duble 'poste" when posibel.
 
allanberkovitz
2004-09-08 12:29:01 PM
Homer Simpson hasn't gained an ounce in all the years he's been on television (excepting the Mu Mu episode) and so obviously has the right idea on dieting and exercise. Follow his example and you can never go wrong.
 
1000101
2004-09-08 12:29:15 PM
Click to check the little box thingy next to "Always trust content from T3h anti spi, inc" and then click the "Yes" button...
 
LittleJoeSF
2004-09-08 12:29:36 PM
"Give advice on a subject you know nothing about. Voting enabled"

At first I thought this was a joke. Isn't that what people do on EVERY FARK thread?
 
Cluster_1
2004-09-08 12:29:47 PM
Yelling out your girlfriends sisters name during sex is an effective way to a good healthy marriage.


/she don't love me no more.
//but her sister does.
 
HappyDaddy
2004-09-08 12:29:58 PM
HAHAHAHAHAH! Wait, you're serious. You really think there is a subject I know nothing about. Well, since there isn't, I am disqualified from playing this game.
 
rel-yo
2004-09-08 12:30:30 PM
Don't worry, I took the pill yesterday, and since it's time released I will be fine.
 
Steve French
2004-09-08 12:31:05 PM
don't forget to vote for the multi millionaire, ruling class gasbag of your choice to ensure diversity.
 
farkdd
2004-09-08 12:31:08 PM
Give advice on a subject you know nothing about.

Uh, how is this thread different than any other Fark comments thread?
 
Stupid Floppy Clownshoes
2004-09-08 12:31:13 PM
Torque wrench, schmork wrench. Tighten till it feels right.
 
The Southern Dandy
2004-09-08 12:31:26 PM
This guy in a bus station once told me you can make yourself a homemade jacuzzi with a bath tub and a hair dryer.
 
ebell
2004-09-08 12:31:30 PM
"You can use old motor oil to fertilize your lawn."

/in Tyler we trust

(not mine so no voting)
 
TotalHell
2004-09-08 12:31:34 PM
Laughing about degenerative diseases gets you into Heaven.
 
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