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(X-Entertainment)   X-E looks back at ten of the most neato commercials of the 1980s. (With downloads)   (x-entertainment.com) divider line 75
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25647 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Sep 2004 at 3:12 AM (9 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2004-09-07 09:26:25 PM
This has been up for a long time now on X-E, but damn, i still want the power glove after seeing that commercial again.
 
2004-09-08 02:03:12 AM
I say the Nerf Crotch Bats are the best.
 
2004-09-08 02:12:17 AM
anyone remember 'bag the fag'?
 
2004-09-08 03:10:43 AM
Video downloads linked to Fark, eh?

This shouldn't last long.
 
2004-09-08 03:19:20 AM
The Power Glove was the biggest rip off of all time. Nintendo still owes me like 90 dollars for that.
 
2004-09-08 03:29:08 AM
The best Power Glove spot on T.V. was when Freddy Kreuger used it. Ah, memories.
 
2004-09-08 03:32:09 AM
Man, I remember having ROB and playing Gyromite 'till the gyros would spin off the trays and onto the table, usually knocking over my drink.

Good times.
 
2004-09-08 03:35:06 AM

I love the power glove, it's SO bad!

 
2004-09-08 03:36:41 AM
"or that teenager who turned into a neat red car and hahaha you can't remember the name of the show."

And haham yes I can!

Turbo Teen!

 
2004-09-08 03:37:53 AM
No.

THIS is the greatest of the 1980s commercials.

(ps - please don't hunt me down and kill me after you watch it)
 
2004-09-08 03:38:10 AM
Incorrect use of "irony" in the Halls of Medicine paragraph.

/nothing better to do
 
2004-09-08 03:44:13 AM
Give Matt your money.
 
2004-09-08 03:46:32 AM
Ah, the old Saterday ritual. I remember it fondly. Cartoons in the morning, then Sir Grave Ghastly(?) in the afternoon with other crappy monster movies that followed, then at night the Ghoul. That if my grandparents would let me stay up that late.

Now, it's thirty minute commercials, and informercials in the afternoon. I haven't seen any toons in the past six months. As a matter of fact, I haven't seen any tv or cable recently.
 
2004-09-08 03:48:35 AM
I want a clean copy of the "Fruity Marshmallow Krispies" ad, with the smiling, dumb-looking fruits dancing in a conga line and the theme song that clearly goes something like this:

"Fruit Marsh-mallow
KREES-PEES!
Lots of fruity marshmallow shiats!"

I'm sure it caused a ruckus of some sort -- you could later hear the obvious dub-over of the "shiats" with a forceful "shapes".

My friend Josh and I cracked ourselves up for a solid 15 minutes, rewinding the tape of Pee-Wee's Playhouse over and over again to watch the smiling, dancing fruits sing about marshmallow shiats. If only we could be that age forever.
 
2004-09-08 03:49:04 AM
photoshop contest in the making: design an unusual nerf weapon. link goes to nerf mace
 
2004-09-08 03:50:44 AM
mrlumpy:
So what you're saying is you like the taste of Papa Smurf's special sauce?
 
2004-09-08 03:57:42 AM
Chibisuke,

In retrospect, Papa Smurf's special sauce wasn't so special.

...and it wasn't even red.
 
2004-09-08 04:04:32 AM
On the second page of commercials...that Early Birds ad comes of completely different now that a certain Easter Island-TLD'ed site was popularized.

 
2004-09-08 04:05:45 AM
...Christmas Island. Whatever. ; j
 
2004-09-08 04:13:32 AM
SinPoker
Courtesy of I-Mockery
 
2004-09-08 04:22:25 AM
The first time I saw this commerical at age 4, this thought came to my mind...


"We've come to it at last. The commercial of our time."
 
2004-09-08 04:29:28 AM
The only good thing to come out of the 80s was the music (and a few cartoons).
 
2004-09-08 04:31:33 AM
Mmmmm pointless nostalgia
 
2004-09-08 04:32:08 AM
Another fine production, Matt.
 
2004-09-08 04:32:56 AM
TKJP:
That was one of the only Nightmare on Elm Street movies I went to see... and it was the videogame stuff that got me to go!

If that isn't the one which had a portion that required 3d glasses, then I guess I've seen a total of two of them in the theatres.
 
2004-09-08 05:43:50 AM
Fark is getting a television series? What?
 
2004-09-08 05:45:36 AM
that teenager who turned into a neat red car and hahaha you can't remember the name of the show.


Turbo Teen.
It takes a French Hippo to have that kind of Memory.
 
2004-09-08 05:47:40 AM
The 80s was such a weird, warped decade. It was proof positive of what happens when you take the leash off capitalism and let it run wherever it wanted. Man, the toys...the cartoons..the movies!....wrecked so much farking havoc that to this day (and probably centuries from now) people still use the decade as an adjective.....and sometimes as a verb. "Man, that was the 80iest thing I've ever seen!!"

Because there was no better way to describe things like Gymkata and Over the Top, except to say that it was the 80s. At no other time could someone conceivably think that the ET video game was not only a good idea, but good enough that they felt confident they could manufacture and sell 5 million copies of it. In any other time period, the idea would've died down at the product development stage.

But nothing could stop the rash of weird toys, even weirder cartoons based on those toys, and the excesses that Reagan-era style gross capitalism had on all industries. I mean....come on...A TEENAGER THAT TURNS INTO A CAR?!? I don't even want to get into the physics of how that works, except to say that: it was the 80s.

Only in the 80s was Michael Dudikoff a martial arts action star.

Only in the 80s could robots sell anything. Got an idea for a child sit-com? ....make the daughter a robot. Care Bear toy sales slumping? Introduce new Robo-bear.

Only in the 80s can a child not only run a megacorporation, but better than grownups ever could.

Only in the 80s, man. I swear. Only in the 80s.
 
2004-09-08 05:52:57 AM
Some more:

Only in the 80s can an action star and future Governor kill 88 PEOPLE and still be considered one of Hollywood's greatest heroes. Conversely, look at today's action movies. Do the good guys even kill the bad guys anymore? NO. Most of the time the bad guys kill themselves through their own doing somehow (re: Spiderman).

Only in the 80s can a ragtag bunch of kids from the projects stumble upon a pirate map and buried treasure......and make it all seem totally plausible.

Only in the 80s would a toy manufacturer be worried that they've saturated the market so much that they can't find any room for their new line, so the best idea is to make a movie killing off HALF THE farkING CHARACTERS.
 
2004-09-08 06:36:48 AM
Stop that, Ishkur, you're making me wish I was born early enough to really, truly enjoy the time period.

/July 31, 1982, which makes me 8 in 1990. Too young for the good stuff...
 
2004-09-08 06:47:47 AM
God dammit, when will people start realizing that retro is killing the future???
 
2004-09-08 06:55:24 AM
Oh, and could someone clue me in as to how the Powerglove operates? Namely, how it detects motion [if it even does] and what the dozen or so buttons on the top are, that aren't part of the normal NES controller? I almost got my dad to buy me one back in the day when they were almost as expensive as my car... but I heard a ton of bad things, and opted for a new game or two instead.
 
2004-09-08 06:57:38 AM
The future, thus far, has sucked.
 
2004-09-08 07:06:18 AM
Ishkur,

There was a robotic Care-Bear?

I must have missed that.
 
Skr
2004-09-08 07:40:37 AM
"It even has Papa Smurf's Special Sauce!" line had me regurgitating my pizza.
BEST.. LINE.. EVA..
 
2004-09-08 07:50:21 AM
Poster:

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for sneaking the word 'neato' into the headline. You rock, rock on.
 
2004-09-08 08:38:56 AM
Does anyone know the Didi Seven commercial...my sister and I used to have it memorized, but neither of us can remember (or find) it now...so sad. Anyone?
 
2004-09-08 08:45:47 AM
WHERE'S THE BEEF!?
 
2004-09-08 08:48:19 AM
"2004-09-08 06:36:48 AM sniperwolf

Stop that, Ishkur, you're making me wish I was born early enough to really, truly enjoy the time period."

Beleive me... I was born in 75 and lived throught he 80's. There was NOTHING good about the 80's growing up during it. And throughout the 90's I only wished to get farther form the 80's.

It is only now, 20 years later, that I look back on the 80's with nostalgia. But I still remember how much I hated it. I hated the music. I hated the fashion. I hated the technology. I can now look back on the cartoons and music and think they're cool, but you have it so much better not having to have to deal with the crappy computer limitations and the crappy audio casettes, and the vinyl records... Ugh. :-)
 
2004-09-08 08:57:04 AM
"Surprise, surprise, it's Lando in disguise."
 
2004-09-08 08:57:14 AM
80s nostalgia always cracks me up. The only people who find it quaint and "fun" are people born from 1980-85 who missed the 80s entirely.

Cheesy, excessive, conspicuous consumption, really bad p0rn on video, abysmal fashion, Don Johnson making an album....

Don't get me wrong, I have a whole slew of 80s cds, and the teen movie genre in that era was great, as was the burgeoning slasher movie industry.

People forget how bad the 80s really were.

Look at your HS yearbooks, you'll throw up and then put the thing in a safe deposit box and throw away the key.
 
2004-09-08 08:57:52 AM
"Oh, and could someone clue me in as to how the Powerglove operates? Namely, how it detects motion [if it even does] and what the dozen or so buttons on the top are, that aren't part of the normal NES controller? I almost got my dad to buy me one back in the day when they were almost as expensive as my car... but I heard a ton of bad things, and opted for a new game or two instead."


I don't know exaclty how the powerglove operates, but I still have one.

I think that it may have used ultrasonic sound. The glove had a thing with three small 1inch boxes connected by rods... This sat over a corner of your TV. So there were three senders at three locations in space.

Like so:

#--#
|
#

Then the front of the glove had two little round wire mesh thingys which I think were microphones. One over your pinky, and one over the finger next to your thumb.

I believe that these stereo mics picked up the sounds from the three speakers, and this somehow allowed the system to determine where the glove was in 3D space.

The glove itself plugged into the box that fed the device that connected to the TV, and that connected to the NES.

The glove had bend sensors in the fingers that could tell if you bent a finger. And the buttons on top were the select start, A, B, and a direction pad. Plus there was a number pad and some additional buttons. By entering codes you could configure what actions with the glove corresponded to what controller buttons and combinations. There were hundreds of codes. In other words, you could make it so that when you curled your hand into a fist, and punched, that corresponded to a B button press. But if you left your hand open and moved it right or left, that would cause Little Mac to dodge left or right.

It was really crappy though. It just was not easy to control any games with it, and it was not accurate enough either. I also don't remmeber any games written specifically for it.
 
2004-09-08 09:07:03 AM
I have to agree with Chibisuke. I was born in 77, just late enough to remember every year of the 80s. Even at six I couldn't stand the music and fasion, thanks to reruns showing me that there was a better way to live than what we suffered through. I will say that the technology of the era will always have a softspot in my heart though. I think only very recently have the 'cute robots' surpassed the friendly demeener of the heathkit robots with their R2D2'ish appearence, computers were raw unbridled power with most owners at least knowing a little basic, home consoles were improving at a rate that just can't happen these days. There were good things, but the fasion and the music....the music........ugh.
 
2004-09-08 09:08:34 AM
Chibisuke
Wasn't there some game where you had to throw a ball at a wall, and break bricks or something? Like archanoid except with a glove?
 
2004-09-08 09:10:53 AM
Don't forget, 1984 was the greatest year ever.

And Simmons rules
 
2004-09-08 09:28:38 AM
Mr. Clarence Butterworth
The only people who find it quaint and "fun" are people born from 1980-85 who missed the 80s entirely.

You're wrong.
 
2004-09-08 09:40:49 AM
I'm still trying to find a bunch of those "Time for Timer" commercials (Hanker for a hunka, a slice-a or a chunk-a, Hanker for a hunka cheese, yahoo!).

I miss the little me in front of the television Calvin style on saturday mornings.
 
2004-09-08 09:53:09 AM
Unfortunately I was born in '85, so I only got leftover scraps of Ghostbuster mania, Care Bear mania, and a little bit of Turtles mania.
 
2004-09-08 10:14:07 AM
Muddie, curse you for getting that cheese song stuck in my head!

/A wagon wheel!
 
2004-09-08 10:14:51 AM
"Wasn't there some game where you had to throw a ball at a wall, and break bricks or something? Like archanoid except with a glove?"

Arkanoid, and yes, there was that game, now that you mention it... I never played it though.

Found some images of the power glove. :-)

http://www.retrones.com/Perifericos/Power%20Glove/folleto%20Power%20Glove.jpg

That's odd, it looks like there were two versions of it:
http://www.game-revolution.com/articles/rants/powerglove.jpg

This pic shows the sensors or sound projectors or whatever they were that you set on top of your TV set:
http://www007.upp.so-net.ne.jp/fukuda/game/fc_p/image/pg1.jpg

I can't find a pic of that power glove game though.
 
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