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(The Sun)   Beauty hasn't had a boyfriend in 3 years. Can't some farker help her out? Possibly not safe for work   (thesun.co.uk) divider line 104
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65077 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Sep 2004 at 7:28 AM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2004-09-04 08:25:00 PM
I don't really want to date her, but I will plug many of her orifices for an evening.

/Uh-Oh...The Black Forest Devil is kicking in!
 
2004-09-04 08:34:24 PM
The photo of her bodyguards, "Bubbly lot..." may explain a lot of things. I suspect any suitor has to run that gauntlet.
 
2004-09-04 08:36:16 PM
sure, and i have date every night of the week

oops she said Since then Ive been on dates but have mostly been caught up in work. she just hasn't had a boyfriend
 
2004-09-04 08:45:51 PM
Ummmmmmmmmmm.

No. I'm married.
 
2004-09-04 09:09:19 PM
I'm probably not her type.
 
2004-09-04 09:09:57 PM
That means she's probably a huge biatch.
 
2004-09-04 09:16:10 PM
Only 3 years? Back of the line, biatch.
 
2004-09-04 09:18:23 PM
I'm probably not her type.

Who's to say? She didn't say she hadn't had a girlfriend in 3 years...
 
2004-09-04 09:35:49 PM
"Touch wood, Ive never had that."

This is just too easy.
 
2004-09-05 07:23:09 AM
Knees to sharp
 
2004-09-05 07:34:58 AM
Only 3 years? Back of the line, biatch.

Thread's done. All been said. Nothing else to see here, folks.
 
2004-09-05 07:37:12 AM
It was claimed the pair spent one of the nights together in a haunted castle canoodling and kissing.

Those sick, twisted freaks. Canoodling, even!
 
2004-09-05 07:37:24 AM
No boyfriend for 3 years?

No one could live up to her reduclous standard.

Not from a lack of guys trying.
 
2004-09-05 07:41:10 AM
Somehow, I suspect she's a biatch. That may be why.
 
2004-09-05 07:43:24 AM
I know this is off subject. Does anyone know if there is a FARK or FARK-like site in spanish. I'd really like to compare the stories featured.

She ain't that hot.
 
2004-09-05 07:44:32 AM


3 years? This lovely lady hasn't had a boyfriend in 10 years. She's available, guys!
 
2004-09-05 07:46:18 AM


For baby jesus, guys. for baby jesus.
 
2004-09-05 07:46:45 AM
It sounds like she has very high standards. Also, from the photoshoot, it looks like she should reconsider her ethiopean diet.
 
2004-09-05 07:50:10 AM
ACTUALLY, NO...
 
2004-09-05 07:55:32 AM
Adele... says her ideal boyfriend would have to have a great personality.

That's it, I call B/S. In reality, her ideal boyfriend would have to have a huge bank balance, and preferably a package the size of Godzilla's since she's probably been doing every mildly famous person she has met in the industry and therefore only something of monster-size proportions could give her any satisfaction.
 
2004-09-05 07:55:46 AM
I haven't had a girlfriend in 6 years. Fetch me her phone number, my monkeys.
 
2004-09-05 07:56:02 AM
If that chick hasn't had a boyfriend in 3 years, it means there is something seriously wrong with her.

STAY AWAY! ARRGHHHHHH!
 
Rat
2004-09-05 07:57:16 AM
I did have an obsession with buying bags and shoes but now its underwear. Ive got hundreds of sets.

© me too...probably a coincidence, but call me anyway
 
2004-09-05 08:02:14 AM
It's her eyebrows. Terrifying.
 
2004-09-05 08:10:06 AM
A lot of pretty women complain about how hard it is to get a nice guy. Thet usually fail to mention that they go by looks exclusively themselves and and are biatches to almost every guy they meet.

Of course there are exceptions ... I dated a few of them, even though I am no looker myself :)
 
2004-09-05 08:10:56 AM
As HumbleGod points out, perhaps she is a homosexual.
 
2004-09-05 08:13:45 AM
Yeah, look I'm not saying she's not hot--cuz, she is. But, am I really to believe she's just a sweet lil' baby-doll who for some reason that no one can explain hasn't had a boyfriend in three years?

She must have incredibly high standards, or she must be totally farking nuts. Either way, I'll say hello to her tonight, but goodbye in the morning if you don't mind.
 
2004-09-05 08:21:03 AM
I'd make a go for it.

Dated a couple of english girls before, they actually seemed less crazy.
 
2004-09-05 08:22:04 AM
Can you say nightmarehighmaintenanceinsecurepsychogirlfriend.com?

Just a hunch....
 
2004-09-05 08:24:54 AM
that's one lucky vibrator
 
2004-09-05 08:29:21 AM
I don't buy the possibility that her "plight" is due to her being stark raving looney. Even if she were, I'm sure there would be a long line of guys willing to endure her baggage in order to have a girlfriend with a body like her's.

No, there really is only one possibility here: her standards prevent her from considering anybody who's not either a famous sports figure, actor or heir to a fortune. I certainly have no objection to that but she shouldn't expect much in the way of pity.
 
2004-09-05 08:41:02 AM
News Flash: When I was single, nobody gave a crap. Especially women that looked like her.

Besides that, she's an attention whore: If I am the crass, chauvanistic, thinks-with-his-penis neanderthal most women somehow know I am never having met me, what's the point of dating her? I've pretty much seen her mostly naked, and on FARK of all places. Yeah, sorry.

Fact is, I didn't put out a press release when I was single, lonley, and longing for companionship. Hot or not, I have no sympathy for those who do. As a musician, I face a similar situation when I see Britney sobbing about poor album sales or Lars complaining people are downloading his music. You could record yourself taking a crap on a sidewalk and release it, and PEOPLE WOULD BUY IT. Until I have that kind of unbridled power in this world, I think you can deal.
 
2004-09-05 08:51:37 AM
BOASTING radiant silver hair, luscious green eyes and a gorgeous figure, John Paul II is one of earths' sexiest popes.
Yet amazingly the 84-year-old spokesman-of-god beauty has been single for nearly 84 years.
He sighs: Ive been on my own for a long time now. I have only had one proper boyfriend all my life Stockport footballer Warren Feeney and we split up all that time ago.

Since then Ive been on dates but have mostly been caught up in work.

Incredibly, despite his stunning looks and sweet hat, John Paull II reckons he never gets chatted up.

He says: Its hard meeting people and if you go out in a big bullet-proof-car it can be intimidating for guys.

Its also difficult because theres that element of trust. Kiss-and-tells, with ex-lovers selling their stories, really worry me. Touch wood, Ive never had that.

Besides, Im a great believer in fate. If its meant to be, its meant to be.

John insists he is not against dating, though. he says: Im not a nun! Im single and am allowed to have some fun.

But its easier meeting people in the church, TV or acting industry. They know what your job is like.

I remember going on one date about a year ago and the guy kept asking me what it was like to be on telly, which really made me cringe.

But what of the beautys alleged romantic link with Jade Goodys ex Jeff Brazier? The two appeared on the UK Living show Famous And Frightened.



Dressed to frill ... sexy pope loves buying underwear



It was claimed the pair spent one of the nights together in a haunted castle canoodling and kissing.

John insists: We didnt get off with each other. Jeff is a good-looking guy and, of course, the shows publicity team went into overdrive. But cant you just be friends with someone?

I mean, I dont mind being single. It doesnt bother me. I have lots of male and female friends and havent got enough time in the day to catch up with them.

Im really driven by work at the moment and am not going to go knocking on doors. But if someone comes along, great.

John, pew-hopping pope in Poland for six years, says an ideal boyfriend would have to have a great personality.

She says: I like guys who think its cool to be different. David Beckham has made it much more acceptable to be an individual.

But theyve got to have a personality, too. If they were good-looking and had a great personality, well, bloody hell, amazing!

Like most popes, john has her hang-ups about the way he looks.

he says: Id love to be taller and have bigger boobs.

I dont really like showing my body off but on the flipside its nice to do shoots like this one for The Sun. Why not have someone make you look fantastic?

If I was on a beach, the chances are Id be photographed. At least this way I dont look sweaty and my hair doesnt look like its been through a bush backwards.

To keep his fantastic shape, john avoids chocolate and sticks to healthy grilled chicken and fruit. But his balanced diet went out of the window during popeing in Argentina for Sky One show Pope Stars:The rivals.

he says: I had to eat strawberries covered in things like fish eyes and pigs trotters. It was disgusting.



The programme is one of many John Paul has been working on. Next Sunday he appears in playing a drunken, rowdy pope.

He says: I end up having a fight with a giant inflatable devil but it was great fun to play because the character was so awful.

John is also set to start filming new movie weekend at Bernies III: Bernie goes to Collage, alongside Rik Mayall, portraying a hilarious lovable walking corpse who gets kicked in the nuts lots and lots of times.

John says: I get asked to play a lot of strong popes but I think theyre always the best parts to do.

being nice would be quite boring. People love to hate strong people look at Octavian, the Count of Tusculum or (Zoe Lucker) in Footballers Wives.

Adele certainly enjoyed her time in Emmerdale but has no regrets at moving on.

She says: I was so lucky to have such a wicked character to play but I felt it was time to try new things.

I like an adventure and the great thing about being pope is you never know what is going to happen next.

John still lives with God in Rome and loves relaxing with him between praying. he also enjoys catching movies and spending money.

Im addicted to shopping it makes me so happy, he says.

I did have an obsession with buying bags and shoes and big golden staffs with jesus on top of them but now its underwear. Ive got hundreds of sets.

As for the future? John says: Id like to get married one day. I love kids and hope to have some of my own.
 
2004-09-05 08:54:58 AM
Besides, Im a great believer in fate. If its meant to be, its meant to be.

A note to the girls out there. If you believe this you're a total non-event, personality-wise. If you believe this AND you're single for large periods at a time, it's the reason.
 
2004-09-05 08:58:17 AM
FuzzplugJones

whether the story is true or not is another thing. she gets a ton of pr. she's happy. her agent is happy. the paper is happy as it sticks to the sex sells formula.
 
2004-09-05 09:07:31 AM
She should try online dating with no pics. If she finds a guy who likes her personality and who she likes before revealing what she looks like, she'll do fine. Otherwise, blokes can't see past certian other assests...
 
2004-09-05 09:18:29 AM
She hasn't had a boyfriend in 3 years because having one night stands with rich producers is more thrilling and financially rewarding.

The reason why she can't get a boyfriend is because with that kind of situation ..... SHE DOESN'T NEED ONE! DUH!

She's probably thinking.... "Now let's see.... sex with lots of guys with loads of cash vs. settling for one guy who will bore me after 2 minutes."

I know what I'd choose if I were in her shoes.
 
2004-09-05 09:23:33 AM
let me be the first to introduce the word to this thread:

......Shpoing!!......
 
2004-09-05 09:25:30 AM
Hogwasher


She should try online dating with no pics. If she finds a guy who likes her personality and who she likes before revealing what she looks like, she'll do fine. Otherwise, blokes can't see past certian other assests...


yerrs... or she could just stick to dating guys who are equally attractive. Then it's more give and take.
 
2004-09-05 09:30:36 AM
uh....she said 'touch wood'
 
2004-09-05 09:48:29 AM
"No matter how hot a girl is, someone, somewhere, is sick of putting up with her shiat."

Might just be a case of guys figuring this out about her early on.
 
2004-09-05 09:54:14 AM
*Logs onto's Virgin Atlantic's flying club website*

I'll be there tomorrow, we can end your three year streak.
 
2004-09-05 09:55:33 AM
She could join my harem.
 
2004-09-05 09:56:06 AM
"Touch wood, I've never said that."


Huh huh. Huh hu- aw nevermind.
 
2004-09-05 09:56:22 AM
I get so sick and tired of women biatching about how they haven't had a boyfriend in a long time. You have a mouth, use it to ask a guy out. Yeah you might get shot down. Deal with it. Guys have to.
 
2004-09-05 09:58:34 AM
Real convenient how they leave out the part about here killing all those people...
 
2004-09-05 10:01:24 AM
Somewhere, someone is NOT putting up with her bu!!shiat.
One point for the dudes!
 
2004-09-05 10:09:14 AM
HWow, a C-list celebrity who couldn't be happier about showing her ass(ets) in a major newspaper. Couldn't they just show the pics without a half ass excuse for an "article" with no point whatsoever clinging to it?

The title shrudely says "I haven't had a boyfriend in three years"-title on the article so testosterone idiots can interpret this as if she is begging to eat a dick. Heck, for all we know, she could be eating dicks every night even without having an official relationship ("I'm not a nun"). Everything else she says in the interview could be said by any random bimbo in the world and.

"If they were good-looking and had a great personality, well, bloody hell, amazing!". Ah-haaaa... I thought she wanted someone really ugly with a *bad* personality. Geez.

Drop the article if there is no point having it. Keep those pics coming, though.
 
2004-09-05 10:26:28 AM
Nicest pair of undies ever! WOW!
 
2004-09-05 10:31:44 AM
Here is my read-between-the-lines translation for y'all;

Since then Ive been on dates but have mostly been caught up in work.

I get laid all the time, yeah. But I need someone to cuddle with, too. If you have a great tolerance for blue balls, call me! Oh, and lot's of money, too! And I mean shiatloads, sweetie!

Touch wood, Ive never had that.

...in three orifi simultaneously.
 
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