Wow, that was fast. All out. Three unlucky people missed out.

Still have three more to go - s­li­ca­bl­ekit­t­yliamg­c­om for your invite!

-Jen

I don't have any invites to give away but I think it'd be interesting to see if I just randomly get an email from someone.
epi­st­axl­i­am­gcom

RIPRAW

an invite has been sent.

http://gmail.google.com/gmail/a-a536332f18-d90b137f71-16c1fc3cc1
http://gmail.google.com/gmail/a-a536332f18-63fc18f33f-5dee948a97
http://gmail.google.com/gmail/a-a536332f18-be6841768f-f3495e056a
http://gmail.google.com/gmail/a-a536332f18-4a38084cd9-fc6898b9d3
http://gmail.google.com/gmail/a-a536332f18-fb28551cfe-86df3fa51e

hey,

My daughter will be born next week and wanted to set up an account in her name. May I please have an gmail invite from someone

I'm not sure what I can do to prove myself worthy of a gmail invite. The most I can do here is tell an amusing story and if someone thinks it's worthy of an invite, I'll gladly accept it. (full disclosure: I hope this is rewarded so the idea will catch on the story-telling posts are always my favorite).

It was a bitter winter night back in January of 1998. I was in my junior year at RIT. Anyone who attended school in upstate NY can attest to the lack of nightlife, especially during the winter months. But this night, my friends and I, sick of hibernating, were determined we were going to do something. After kicking around a few ideas, we decided to go to the closest (about 45 minutes away) strip club: Toppers. It was one of those group decisions that not everybody is 100% behind, but had the most consensus among us. Plus, most of us weren't 21 yet, and at Toppers you only had to be 18 to get in.

We pile in my roommates car and brave the icy backroads of Rochester up to Toppers. We get inside and line up to pay. In the room you enter there's a long narrow bar and a glass counter piled high with complimentary porno mags. I guess if the dancers aren't to your liking, you can amuse yourself with an issue of Club International. Anyway, the important thing about the layout of this entrance room is that there's no way to see the dancers (which isn't too odd I suppose) but no pictures of them either. You have to pay, walk down the bar, turn a corner and enter the dance area.

I say "area" because there was no stage. It was just a square made up of four long narrow tables with a gap at one of the corners for the dancers to enter. The girls would strip, and then make their way around the square for tips. If you gave them a good tip, they would do something extra (dance on the table, shove their junk in your face, etc.) To be fair, the floor wasn't covered in sawdust, but we're talking just a few steps above that level on the classiness meter.

The first girl comes out to dance: She's about 5'3" covered in bad tats, scars, stretch marks, and easily pushing a deuce. Needless to say, me and my friends aren't exactly bursting with lusty anticipation. We end up watching the 20-year-old porn being projected on the back wall of the club for the duration of her dance (like I said, classy joint). The rest of the dancers cycled through. They were alright, and we politely tipped them all, but nothing was really getting us too excited.

Now, we could have just got up, admitted defeat, and called it a night. But we were young and bored and wanted to get our eleven dollars worth. So we decided we would each tip the next dancer with what we had left, pack it up, and go hame.

The next girl that came out was named Chloe. I guess she must have been 18, but she could easily pass for a few years younger- which wasn't really as hot as you pervs may think, kinda creepy actually (when you think about how she might have wound up in this dive). She entered the square, did her thing, and made the rounds. I put my last five bucks up out for her, not knowing what sort of gratitude that would earn. She gets up of the narrow table, sits down and pulls my head within a few inches of her crotch. I know to a lot of guys this sounds hot, but separate yourself from the moment with me: You're totally sober, being ogled by your friends, sitting in the creepiest dive in town and a complete stranger is shoving their most private regions into your face. Against my better judgement, I feel the need to make small talk with said stranger to ease the tension. I notice her piercing (how can I miss it, it's right in my face). "wow...that must have hurt..."

Well, she must have just been absolutely melted by my smooveness, because, she decides to stick here 5" platform heels in my shoulders and lift herself up on her hands. Now, I never took physics, but when she does this, half the weight of her 98 pound frame is pressing into my shoulders, and her left heel is pressing into some nerve in my right shoulder that's never been farked with in the last 19 years. I sit paralyzed as this entirely new sensation of tingling pain shoots through my body. Oh my god", I think, "She's giving me the Vulcan neck pinch! She's giving me the farking Vulcan neck pinch with her hoochie shoes!"

My automatic reaction was to want to jerk my shoulder back, to end the pressure, but I quashed that notion because it would have sent poor Chloe bouncing off the table and onto the floor. So I just have to sit there and grin and bear it until she went on to the next guy. It was the most painful 30 seconds of my life. What's the proper etiquette for that situation? ("Uh...excuse me miss. Uh.. yes that's very nice... but, uh...now don't get me wrong...your genitalia are fantastic.. but your heel, you see...I'm afraid it's,... uh...")

In the end I was a few bucks poorer, and a little sore, but I got a story to tell for years out of it.

2 to give

First 2 to send me bjoobies!!!

Still at a loss, no-one wants them, fine, they are on the way to gmailswap.

Snarg, I never liked you guys anyways.

raymond[dot]bowen[at]gmail

now, now territ - you didn't have to show your boobs for a gmail account, so play nice....

freekx2 I sent you one

gmail now says the server is unavailable.

http://gmail.google.com/gmail/a-8dfb46ca22-6a1aa04bea-00727b7d18

If you want a Gmail account. Go to Xtreme Prank Radio The next 12 people don't get a FREE GMAIL account from me.
/wonders if anyone will catch on to this.
Look at the name of my station people. Shees.
I love my job sometimes.
/grins and sneers like Snidley Whiplash

I have 2 more left to give away... I need porn! Women only - nothing (too) disgusting, please.

gkurts | at | gmail | dot | com

I have one to give away. Would someone be willing to sponsor me for a month of Total Fark? Email me at wiujerem­y­o­o­ha­yco­m

I've got 6. Email to natkingk­li­a­mg­com and I'll hook you up. If you're in Chicago, you owe me a beer!

I have a few to give out. If you don't already have one, make your request interesting :)

What's with people just stealing accounts.. "as­dfg­g­jliamg­c­o­m".

Thanks, people.

nt master is a good man, let it be knowst to all
i will trade links for nice pics
or if you can make me laugh
or if you can make me not so lonely
/not really that lonely
// personalfidelity @ yahoo .com

hotsauce, go on yahoo, i'll send you a invite there.

I'd appreciate an invite from some ultra-kind person...

23NoonBlue @ iwon.com

10 to give away

s­pam­rep­ositoryli­amgco­m

I got 3 invites left. First 3 good boobie pics sent to s­c­o­ttwo­ldr­id­geliam­g­c­om get em.


/HE

I have three invites. First three to send me an Email that makes me laugh get them. Rok­a­r­ules­liam­gcom

Man, that site is getting hit harder than a Yankees pitcher....

/GO SOX!!!!

OK, I suck, and Im lame, but I would be a lot less of both if I had a gmail invite. Help a poor schlub get some gmail goodness:
mf­i­scher­86­t­s­a­c­mocnet

23noonblue, check your inbox

I'd like an invite.... Ayesha97(at)hotmail(dot)com

6 invites to the most creative reason why you need a gmail address
email me @ stodd04(AT)gmail(DOT)com

Please help me, I'm 28 years old and I only have 40 or so years left to live. If you'll send me an invite, you will have my gratitude for the rest of your life. I promise that I won't concoct some asinine gmail name. I will honor it, and treasure it, and love it for my last few remaining years on this mortal coil.

pao­lo_ste­p­ha­n­ioohay­com

I have 3 Three to give first person to email me a gets the first one the second will go to the first person who can get a password for REDCLOUDS.com..Damn im a sick bastard.
Abnd here is the third one just to show i'm legit http://gmail.google.com/gmail/a-bfa947b0fa-1c1ffecc2b-fe16f3821a

My thanks to the Farkers:

http://gmail.google.com/gmail/a-7dace3c471-dda41da546-3f21ce5425

http://gmail.google.com/gmail/a-7dace3c471-9607525c38-7f067549ce

http://gmail.google.com/gmail/a-7dace3c471-f31603ea3a-b1f1c46e62

http://gmail.google.com/gmail/a-7dace3c471-029e67ef06-2dc2625f35

I'll lick toes for an invite?

http://gmail.google.com/gmail/a-b3f9462b11-0a46f47735-531df94b91
http://gmail.google.com/gmail/a-136d0524ea-2a69457b13-007acdb571

Enjoy! Get 'em while they're hot!

i have two invites. email me at jbose_8atyahoo.com (my crapmail account). just put gmail in the subject line -- first come, first serve...

wtf am i doing? do i need a gig of email...? really?

I'm also on the tail end of the gmail bandwagon and would appreciate a hand up.

f­o­xlette­r­-­regis­ter­o­o­h­a­ycom

http://gmail.google.com/gmail/a-e84821d2d6-d098fa4cfc-24f6df2c56
http://gmail.google.com/gmail/a-e84821d2d6-381f22fdc6-8a6cd9282d
http://gmail.google.com/gmail/a-e84821d2d6-50d5bd8216-db1ed309db

Invites for the 1st 3 farkers that send me something amusing.
NO PORN (Im at work.)

ok, they're gone.

lawngnome and joey's wife are hooked up. lol

I have 4 more invites to donate to this great cause. First four fabulously inventive boobie pics sent to spam.filter(at)lycos.com will get the invites :-)

(Seriously, that's my spam-catching email address :-))

o.k. o.k. I surrender.

PUHLEAAAAAAAAAAAAASE! may I have one? PUH LEAAAAAAAAAAASE?????

a­smi­th83t­sa­cmocnet

You'll be remembered the next time I talk to God, or Tom Hanks, whichever comes first.

4 invites left. First 4 e-mails to disord3r(at)gmail get them.

Someody pretty please send an invite my way. I will be eternally greatful.

cmckee­a­tpaca

If someone could invite me that'd be super.

dr­ewwi­l­d­in­gliam­to­hcom

If anyone's feeling generous, I would like one: po­psta­r20­li­amt­o­hc­o­m