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(Some Guy)   The top 10 worst things you can say on a first date   ( divider line
    More: Amusing  
•       •       •

22084 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Feb 2002 at 6:26 AM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

76 Comments     (+0 »)

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2002-02-04 06:28:35 AM  
Wo0t wo0t! I knew Mike would post this one!!!
2002-02-04 06:35:14 AM  
OK. Not very funny.
2002-02-04 06:36:03 AM  
Ignore that top post, thought I was in the rollercoaster thread......*sigh* my bad

I like #2 prostitutes, hookers, hahahaha
2002-02-04 06:42:51 AM  
I hate dates. I much prefer the old "bind them and torture them for sexual gratification" approach, personally.
2002-02-04 06:53:55 AM  
"Hi my name is Fb, you may have seen me on Fark"

2002-02-04 06:54:40 AM  
"Hi, I'm Drew Curtis, and you might know me from FARK..."

That's enough to make entire hoards of women run screaming or fumbling for mace.
2002-02-04 07:09:17 AM  
"Hi, My name is Dingleberry and I'm not very original"

2002-02-04 07:12:46 AM  
"I am The Goatman, and you are under my spell... take off your clothes..."
2002-02-04 07:15:44 AM  

10. "Technically, I still love Simon Le Bon."
9. "Will you marry me?"
8. "Cats are more intelligent than men."
7. "I might as well tell you now - I suffer from terrible fanny farts."
6. "I used to be a man."
5. "I was drunk when I got here."
4. "Even the thought of oral sex turns my stomach."
3. "I must've slept with over four hundred men."
2. "I hate my hairy arse. It's so unwomanly."
1. "Shall we get the money out of the way now?"

10) "So, anyway, now the police say I'm not even allowed to keep the guns..."
9) "You should see my bedroom - it's full of Star Trek posters!"
8) "You look just like my mother in law."
7) "Hang on... Ooh! I've got a pubic hair caught under my foreskin."
6) "When you do a poo, do you sometimes go back into the toilet a few minutes afterwards to see if it still smells?"
5) "Do you like Dungeons & Dragons?"
4) "I shave my testicles."
3) "Is it true that women wee out of their bottoms?"
2) "I can name forty types of cheese."
1) "You should see my bedroom - it's full of geese!"
2002-02-04 07:15:58 AM  
Ha, you guys come out swingin' on a Mon. morn, I just love it! ;)
2002-02-04 07:26:47 AM  
She wanted it.....they all wanted it.
Time for my medication.
2002-02-04 07:29:05 AM  
and then there's number 11.

It puts the lotion in the basket...
2002-02-04 07:33:49 AM  
bahaha, Tim :)

"it rubs the lotion on its skin"
2002-02-04 07:39:46 AM  
to whoever keeps submitting things from brassknukles:
2002-02-04 07:40:41 AM  
Nice list, nice suggestions here in the thread too and I seem to have missed all of them, since tonight I'll be on the 6th date in 13 days with the same nice young woman (the times she stayed over, I did not count the next day, still same date except for the calendar).
2002-02-04 07:56:21 AM  
Remember to pace yourself, Appie.
2002-02-04 08:03:49 AM  
To whoever keeps thinking of incredibly clever flames, and spells them wrong:
2002-02-04 08:21:13 AM  
have yuo caught TEH GAY also?
2002-02-04 08:26:06 AM  
What not to say on the 3rd date:

"There's 3 words I want to tell you....You're Too Fat"
2002-02-04 08:27:17 AM  
What would be wrong with a guy that admitted to having star trek posters in their room... it'd be cute and endearing...
2002-02-04 08:33:09 AM  
Would go nicely with your space shuttle poster Alterian!

2002-02-04 08:42:39 AM  
ta-ta's. That's a potato snack, right ?
2002-02-04 08:59:30 AM  
I thought you were reserved for hindsight?
2002-02-04 09:00:16 AM  
#0: "Hi, my name is [NSA's real name]. Nice to meet you."
2002-02-04 09:01:54 AM  
AeroSquid - <gross/on> You could call it that if she was nursing and happened to eat a lot of spuds herself <gross/off> :o)
2002-02-04 09:09:08 AM  
1. "you ever visit it has the wittiest articles sometimes!"
2002-02-04 09:11:15 AM  
"So how much?"

Great commercial last night.
2002-02-04 09:11:52 AM  
Can't believe no one submitted #12 yet...
12. Can I show you my collection of photoshops I submitted to Fark... Hey! My computer room is this way, why are you running to the front door?
2002-02-04 09:13:25 AM  
Do you spit or swallow?
2002-02-04 09:24:52 AM  
"My best girl is still Mother..."
2002-02-04 09:30:56 AM  
You look so good you make me want to get a job.
2002-02-04 09:39:46 AM  
boy: wanna meet me some where?
girl: OK where?
boy: The back seat
2002-02-04 09:50:31 AM  
#13 Hey, you look just like that midget hermaphrodite I have in my porn collection!
2002-02-04 09:54:07 AM  
Here's one "Do you comb your hair that way to cover your bald spot? No, it's not that noticable, really. Oh? Well, I think the Rogaine is working, really."
2002-02-04 10:05:21 AM  
So, does this look infected?
2002-02-04 10:10:12 AM  

This was said to me by a girl on our first date:

"You remind me of my uncle who raped me when I was 12 but I really kind of teased him and seduced him into it. I ended up enjoying it. Is that strange?"

Meanwhile, I was up to, "Nice weather, huh?"

2002-02-04 10:20:53 AM  
"You're kind of hairy for a girl."

man, did that one get me in trouble.
2002-02-04 10:23:55 AM  
The best thing to say on the first date:
"Nice shoes, wanna fark?"

It just gets all the unpleasantries out of the way. She either: a) smacks you and walks out, leaving you to pick your next target and proceed OR says "okies" and you are in.

It's the shortcut through all the "so, where did you grow up?" bullshiat.

fark 'em and leave 'em.
2002-02-04 10:32:32 AM  
"Ok, so what can I touch?"

Oh wait, thats for lap dances.
2002-02-04 10:40:05 AM  
2002-02-04 10:51:37 AM  
Flash_NYC: Please, _please_ tell me you're just making a tasteless joke. But I'm guessing you're not. Scary, poor girl. I hope you were nice to her.
2002-02-04 11:00:44 AM  
I can't believe "I'm gonna fark you until you love me" isn't in there. I tried that this weekend and it BOMBED.
2002-02-04 11:03:37 AM  
Is that a ladder in your tights or a stairway to heaven?
2002-02-04 11:04:18 AM  
"What would you do if I accidentally kissed you?"
2002-02-04 11:08:12 AM  
No one has used my personal favorite for girls...

"Stick it in!!!"
/Margaret Cho
2002-02-04 11:12:44 AM  
My favorite line is "Hey, whats that over there?". When they turn to look I sap them and take them back to my lair. Works every time.
2002-02-04 11:34:34 AM  
I had sex with a girl on the night I met her. Afterwards she started crying and mentioned I was only the third guy she had sex with after some guy who raped her and her ex-boyfriend. I'm like "uhhhhh, good."
2002-02-04 12:00:26 PM  
"so now that burning sensation I had when I urinated has completely gone away!!!"
2002-02-04 12:01:44 PM  
When I first started dating, my dad told me the worst thing to say on a date is "How cute! It looks like a penis, only smaller!"

My brother's favortie line was "Gee, for a fat chick you don't sweat much." He is 50 and still single. Coincidence?
2002-02-04 12:05:31 PM  
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