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(Yahoo)   Men paying for dates is "chivalry," not "sexism"   ( divider line
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3934 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Feb 2002 at 8:48 PM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2002-02-02 12:46:28 AM  
My guess is that Nsquark is very skinny.
2002-02-02 12:47:02 AM  
I hope everyone realized that I was just joking about the above posts, I mean I'm a gentleman too. Now that all the other guys are showing how kind and curteous they are I wouldn't want to be left out from any nookie...err I mean intelligent conversation with the ladies.
2002-02-02 12:51:12 AM  
As long as we are on the topic, can anyone explain why the hell you get morning hard-ons? I mean I hate waking up in the morning to run to the damn bathroom in the bitter cold just to piss. I mean I have never thought of mother nature in a naughty way so how come her cool windy breezes get me so "excited"?
2002-02-02 12:53:46 AM  
LOL @ Nanookanano, makes me wonder if his weight drops after a good long piss too. (And this is the last time I type out your long as hell name, from now on your just Nanoo. All those O's and N's are too much).
2002-02-02 12:54:22 AM  
I have to agree with Nanookanano and the others. My theory is (and has been confirmed by a table of girls nodding as I explained it to my friend) is that girls are attracted to assholes. It is only after they get hurt and used that they realize what kind of guys they are dating, and only then do they notice the nice guys. I have seen countless girls go out with guys I could see at first glance were complete assholes, and then come back and complain that all guys are complete asses. Of course they are if you only date the asses.

Personally, I try to be as chivalrous as possible. I'll open doors for anyone, I'll pay for food, even if I'm not looking for something, treat the girl like she's a special and beautiful person (which they nearly all are.) Yet, as my name implies, it doesn't seem to work. It seems like the girls decide "he'd be good as a friend for me to talk with about my jerk-ass boyfriend." But at the same time, when I find a girl, I know we'll both be much more likely to be happy in the relationship.

And here's a word to the ladies, while I'm ranting. That guy who doesn't think he's God's gift to women is fifty times more likely to treat you as though you are the greatest thing in the world, which chances are, you are to him. The guys who think they're everything and more will treat you like crap, as they have had, in their opinion, better before and can get better again whenever they want. You are just a cheap fark for them. So ladies, look at that quiet guy at the bar who isn't the biggest lady's man for one reason or another. Chances are, he'll treat you better than any other guy you've had.

Done ranting. You may resume your normal farking.
2002-02-02 12:54:55 AM  
Nanookanano, you would be very wrong.
2002-02-02 12:59:42 AM  
Freak -

God help me for know this, but...

It's a combination of factors. One is that as you wake up, your heart rate increases, thus increasing blood pressure. Meanwhile, your bladder is full and pressing on your prostrate. Apparently this will trigger that morning visit.
2002-02-02 12:59:55 AM  
Freak: Thats because your brain releases some adrenaline when you wake up. Adrenaline raises both your pulse and your friend.
2002-02-02 01:00:18 AM  
I want to ask the farkettes here, (the few that aren't really 40 yr old plumbers), if they find the following story offensive.

Today while sitting in biology class my professor starts the lecture off with something about the affects of caffeine on your body or something. He is a heavy powerpoint user and the first slide of the day happened to feature a very fine woman, at least until you got to her face. She had one hell of a butter face, and the prof had written on the slide below the pic "The reason God invented paper bags". The whole class erupted in laughter of course, except for the girls.
2002-02-02 01:03:22 AM  
Oh, thanx for explaining it Jerl_Jesper & Shemp Mo-Din. At least now I can rest in peace knowing that noone is feeling me up in my sleep.
2002-02-02 01:04:09 AM  
Well, I can't guarantee that, Freak...
2002-02-02 01:06:16 AM  
Shemp Mo-Din: It's you isn't it you bastard. At least have the decency to swallow! I can't afford to keep buying new sheets you know!
2002-02-02 01:06:30 AM  
Freak: Not really offensive, no. I would have laughed. It just reminds me of a guy I who went soft midway through the shenanigans, and then blamed the embarrassing incident (embarrassing for both of us... he thought he couldn't perform and I thought that it must be my body/technique that caused the problem) by mumbling something about drinking a 2 liter of Coke that day, and after that day swore off caffeine for months. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to try out the un-caffeinated goods, so I don't know what the problem was.

Was the pic upside down or something? I mean, how did you see the body before the face?
2002-02-02 01:09:32 AM  

I must confess - it's my pet daschund, Wonko. I used to feed him vienna sausages, but damn, those little cans are sooo expensive. Besides, the vet said I need to put him on a low-protein diet, which is why I don't let him swallow.
2002-02-02 01:11:48 AM  
Well ahem....I go to a college teeming with tons of hot babes, mostly due to a combination of dieting, excercising, and beautiful southern california sunshine. But I also know that the odds are that most of them aren't blessed with equally pretty faces so I have gotten use to just ogling the bodies and giving a brief glimpse to the face. So when I saw the picture of a bikini clad woman on the screen I was immediately drawn to her and only later noticed her face (something which I wish I hadn't).
2002-02-02 01:13:06 AM  
Above post should have the word "Boobies" or this image between "drawn to her...." and "only later noticed"
2002-02-02 01:14:16 AM  
After viewing a pic of you,CandyPink, I can tell you that either the guy went soft due to too much booze/drugz, or he's gay and came to his "senses." You are far too pretty (no come on here) to worry about some softee. You live in the land of the American Vikings, grab a Norwegian guy, and make him beg!
2002-02-02 01:14:24 AM  
Candy, how did you know you were midway? Oh and when a guy goes limp it's the woman's fault.
2002-02-02 01:14:51 AM  
LOL @ Shemp Mo-Din. Well I am all for helping the animals but at least tell him to watch the teeth then.
2002-02-02 01:16:46 AM  
Nsquark: Because she heard the microwave timer go off announcing her minute rice was done.
2002-02-02 01:17:39 AM  
No problem, Freak...
2002-02-02 01:19:34 AM  
morning wood
this is caused by a hormonal spike in the morning, and can be augmented by a full bladder. Full bladders cause erections because erections close off the bladder-to-urethra spincter. it basicly keeps you from pissing yourself while you're asleep (note that you can relax this voluntarily, and alcohol will tend to relax the spincter as well)

Adrenalin does cause the heartrate to increase, but it actually causes the penis to shrink and the testes to be pulled close to the body, so they can be protected

caffeen may cause sexual disfunction, but it's more likely that candypink's lover was tired. (get some viagra)

I paid attention in highschool health class :P
2002-02-02 01:22:04 AM  
A friend once told me, if you have the choice between a hot woman and a cute woman to choose the cute one. Because the cute one will still be cute in the morning. Because most of the time there is quite a concerted effort to look "hot" that there has to be some downtime, "not-hot". Cute has more stability to it.

CandyPink, your'e not the only Farker home on a Friday night. (Damn house arrest.)
2002-02-02 01:22:23 AM  
Nsquark, yer killin me. If you can't run the marathon, get outta the race. Do yourself a favor and either A.) Have 2 stiff drinks before sex, or B.) Learn the art of Tantric Sex.

If you do either of these, you'll be good for at least 1/2 hour, and you won't have to blame your shrinkin' dinkin' on CandyPink and her oppinion.
2002-02-02 01:22:24 AM  
Big Dave I usually don't put people down on these things but once again I gotta call you out. You looked all that stuff on Google that's why it took you so long to put your two cents in. Sorry.
2002-02-02 01:22:53 AM  
Well I didn't have a stopwatch, or a statistical average of previous encounters to determine "midway"... it was post-insertion, pre-orgasm. Pre-either-of-our-orgasm(s). So it was "midway." I was well on the way, he um...seemed to be? until it happened, anyway. And yeah, I thought it was my fault at the time. He said it wasn't. I don't know or really care. Statistically speaking, I'm still in the black, so I think everything's A-OK on my end. :) (On my end...sheesh... I am queen of the double-entendre tonight.) :) And...I'm glad I went to a college in the great frozen northland of sweatshirts and baggy jeans. hehe.

Radiothor: Thanks :)
2002-02-02 01:25:02 AM  
People of either gender are simply attracted to people who make them feel that they find them interesting and worth spending time with. That's all being charming is, paying attention to the other person. Women who are too concerned with what they look like are always trying to make sure they don't "spend" their assets on some guy whose not worth it, but they have generally have a flawed standard, too much emphasis on looks and coolness. That's why women are always asking where the good guys are.

Men, on the other hand, are so busy scheming to get laid and wanting to notch their belt with a 9 or a 10, they are paying false attention to women. Alla ya'll 9's and 10's can play this game, meanwhile, I just talk to people, find out what's interesting about them, if we don't click, I move on. I'm not looking for sex apart from some connection or affection, so I don't feel the need to worry too much about whether she's drop dead gorgeous. Most ugly comes from the inside anyway. What's awkward and sad is when women think they have to pay for that attention with sex and they can't understand when I don't pursue it.

I generally open the door for anyone and almost always go through it last. I think that's just a paternal instinct, making sure the pack is all together or something, I don't know. I've never once had anyone, male or female, complain about simple respect. Coming out of a bar with a buddy one time, though, I unlocked his door since I came to that side of the car first. Through clenched teeth out of the side of his mouth he says, "you're NOT going to open my door." I almost opened his door and then said loudly "here ya go honey" but he's WAY bigger than me.
2002-02-02 01:26:19 AM  
CandyPink...sorry to hear that. That's definitely not very chivalrous of him...
2002-02-02 01:26:21 AM  
I don't know what the big freakin' deal is about how long you can keep it up. I mean, really, I'm not the king of endurance, but I've never gotten any complaints.

Because I can always get my tongue up.
2002-02-02 01:26:53 AM  
dood why am I being ragged on here?
I'm watching Ronin, for crissakes

and why am I bothering to defend myself to you?
time to turn off the computer...
2002-02-02 01:27:47 AM  
I just dont know, I mean you look good and all but I just couldn't see myself being with someone like you CandyPink. You look like you would own a strap-on as a "fun" toy. I couldn't safely sleep knowing that, not combined with Shemp Mo-Din's horny dog out on the loose.
2002-02-02 01:30:32 AM  
LOL... never heard of somebody blaming their going soft on drinking to much Coke... thats funny. I have only gone soft once in my life and there were circumstances where the discovery of the sheer freakishness of the girl I was farking ruined the moment for me... makes me wish I could forget it.
2002-02-02 01:31:47 AM  
Ok, Code, you can't just allude to a story like that and drop it... not allowed.
2002-02-02 01:32:06 AM  
Hey bigdave i'm sorry. Please don't take it personal. I still appreciate all of your other comments but you don't need to justify them with these silly footnotes.
2002-02-02 01:32:22 AM  
Freak: I just dont know, I mean you look good and all but I just couldn't see myself being with someone like you CandyPink. You look like you would own a strap-on as a "fun" toy.

Oh come on, take one for the team.
2002-02-02 01:32:36 AM  
Good night Candy. My Oldest boy's got a hockey game in a few. Good luck, and stick with us "square heads." There's a reason the world feared us...maybe still does...

I blame Girth!
2002-02-02 01:33:59 AM  
Ok, radiothor is reaching. He only said goodnite to candy. I think he likes her.
2002-02-02 01:34:27 AM  
I am so sorry! That was bad. Sort of... It's 1:30am, I go Ni-ni now. G'night Farkers!
2002-02-02 01:35:00 AM  
Candypink: ROFL! Still in the black, I love it. Why in god's name would you think it was your fault?

Sorry brothers, I know you'll hate me for being honest, but I have to come clean here. That's just male propaganda. The male libido is so fragile it's funny. Just the mere thought "uhoh, what if I can't..." and game over. Hehehehe, my first time wasn't my first time until about the third time. Fortunately she was a patient girl.

That's something that most men never grasp. Sex is all in the head. Er...brain, I should say. Mind. That's it.
2002-02-02 01:35:19 AM  
ehhh...i've been telling people for years that any (ANY) guy can easily last 20 minutes...everytime...anytime...
2002-02-02 01:36:52 AM  
I agree with the grizzly (not sarcastic).
2002-02-02 01:38:27 AM  

I'll admit, at anytime it could be over in a heartbeat. That's why I generally make sure that the female in my company, uh, "gets to where she needs to be" at least once before little Shemp makes an appearance.
2002-02-02 01:38:53 AM's all in the head, which is why any guy can last an hour or two if the woman so desires...easy...
2002-02-02 01:38:55 AM  
Freak: Hehe, nope, no strap-ons here. One or two for my-own-use-only, but you can't expect a girl to go *totally* solo every night, right?

No, really, I'm a "nice girl." Hehe.

For some reason it feels weird to be listening to "jeremy" by pearl jam while I type this. Maybe it's that shiraz getting to me finally.
2002-02-02 01:42:19 AM  
Grizzly: it's all good :) My first time took two times... for both of us. :) We watched the Simpsons in between. I still think of that show as the great equalizer.
2002-02-02 01:43:45 AM  
Sure, Enphinitie. Easy, I don't know, that kind of control is a learned thing I think. I find if you concentrate on pleasing your partner (now I sound like a damn Dr. Ruth spot) you don't run into the problem of an early finish or conversely running out of steam, and you get yours in the end. the finish...completion. Guys that can't concieve of going longer than a minute or two just aren't concerned about their partner's experience.
2002-02-02 01:45:05 AM  
Candy: David Letterman. I shudder to think of it now.
2002-02-02 01:48:16 AM  
Shemp: good policy! Was Andrew Dice Clay that had a routine about how guys have to think about something else because if they realize what they're doing..."hey, I'm..." pffffft, that's it. That's one thing that recommends monogamy. That first time with someone new is always so awkward, one night stands are not worth the hearthache :)
2002-02-02 01:50:24 AM  
Ever hear of non-goal oriented sex?
2002-02-02 01:50:52 AM  
CandyPink: Thats a relief to hear. But I am still a bit wary you must understand. I mean a guy has to watch out for his anal virginity. All it takes is just one reverse movement in that area and I might as well buy a huge rainbow to plaster on the back of my car.

P.S. Im pretty sure you have done some kinky stuff involving handcuffs have you not? Theres a position I would never allow myself to be in, even if it was a mind-blowingly hot woman asking.
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