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(Yahoo)   Men paying for dates is "chivalry," not "sexism"   (story.news.yahoo.com) divider line 292
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3927 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Feb 2002 at 8:48 PM (12 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2002-02-01 11:18:47 PM
my general rule is that if she doesn't offer for half by the second date, there won't be a third, unless she's putting out

the REAL test, though, is the reach-over.
no, it's not a sex thing.

You open the car door for her, and she steps in and you shut it. While you're walking to your side of the car, your date will either be checking her makeup, staring out the window, OR, reaching over to open your door for you.

If she reaches over, it's a good sign that she's not totaly selfish. The last time I didn't get the reach-over, I didn't even try for a kiss when I dropped her off.
 
2002-02-01 11:20:02 PM
Nsquark: Lemme check... nope, Argentinian. Very apropos, though... it's from the land of FARC. And there has been more than one pizza delivery boy I've seen who I wouldn't mind getting more than a pizza from... I'll just leave it at that.
 
2002-02-01 11:22:28 PM
re: BigDave

I would buy the reach over thing, but I think this also comes down to the type of car. If it is the kind you beep remotely to unlock the doors, I wouldn't reach over to open your door for you, nor would I expect you to open my door. I think this is a throw back to when you had to unlock the car doors manually.
 
2002-02-01 11:22:40 PM
CandyPink
Nsquark: Lemme check... nope, Argentinian. Very apropos, though... it's from the land of FARC. And there has been more than one pizza delivery boy I've seen who I wouldn't mind getting more than a pizza from... I'll just leave it at that.

I think I've seen a porno with that story line
 
2002-02-01 11:22:50 PM
Ah yes, Nice guys are all over the place, unfortunately most nice guys are not what might be considered by most women to be exciting (I was a bit of an ass then to). I was once an exciting guy, and I had quite a few women vying for my attention... then I grew up. And I married one of those women who was vying for my attention. What a distater that was (no joke: she had been hiding the fact that she was an acute paranoid schitzophrenic, and after we got married she stopped taking her meds). But any how I think I have a point hidden in there somewhere, and it is exciting people are not usually kind or stable... but I guess that is what makes them exciting.
 
2002-02-01 11:24:59 PM
grrrrr... getting late can't type... need more caffiene
 
2002-02-01 11:25:41 PM
OK Big Dave I gotta call you out. That was in a movie called "Bronx Tale". That is not a good test. I drove an Oldmobile for a while and there wasn't one woman I dated that could reach across by the time I reached the other side. Besides the reach across assumes that you open the door for her. Personally I feel that all my friends can get into the car themselves unless they are handicapped or old as dirt and I don't have any friends that fit that demographic.
 
2002-02-01 11:25:50 PM
. . . the stereotype that women are more virtuous than men
Whose stereotype is this? Isn't there some criterion that something be near-universally believed (within a given population) for it to be a stereotype?

Big Dave: Grow up in the Bronx (Tale)?
 
2002-02-01 11:27:25 PM
DeeDerange

I drive a ford bronco, which has a very large, very wide cabin. I still have women unbuckle their belt and crawl all the way over to open my door. So far it has been a very reliable judge of character.
 
2002-02-01 11:29:21 PM
Code_Archeologist

Now that I'm a bit older its really funny watching all the "women" that married all the exciting guys, because the real exciting guys now have real exciting mistresses and the wives complain about the abuse they get etc etc, its real sad...
 
2002-02-01 11:29:47 PM
Big Dave:

Are you a 'red neck'?
 
2002-02-01 11:29:56 PM
calm down boys, I haven't seen bronx tale - I developed this independantly, after going on two blind dates in the same week in highschool and noticing the difference

I'll have to hit blockbuster tomorrow
 
2002-02-01 11:32:20 PM
Ajlull - is that something from the movie or are you assuming that my car determins what my personality/inteligence/place of birth is?

I'm 6 foot 9 and beleive me I need a big car or truck.
I can't even get into a civic or miata
 
2002-02-01 11:33:24 PM
The inclination and flexibility to lean over towards the driver's seat is definitely a plus, BD
 
2002-02-01 11:35:05 PM
if only the steering wheel could tilt, Overpaid Slacker...
 
2002-02-01 11:37:22 PM
Big Dave:

lol, no offense, I was just wondering if the sterotype was true.
 
2002-02-01 11:40:41 PM
I just find it a bit offensive when some guy holds the door open for me.

I'm also rather independent. It's like, if I want help, then I'll ask for it, thanks. :)


This reminds me of a great anecdote about one of my high school teachers. He was an ex-marine and definitely an ornery old bastard, but like many others of his generation he was raised to open doors for women, etc.

One time as he was headed into a building, he held the door open for a woman approaching behind him. She testily gave him the "I don't want you to open the door for me! I don't need that, etc. etc. etc., blah blah blah."

He nonchalantly let the door closed, then gave an upward tug on the panic bar. On most public buildings that locks the door. As she yanked on the now-locked door, growing ever more furious, he sweetly asked her through the glass:

"Oh, do you need me to open the door for you?"

Classic.
 
2002-02-01 11:41:43 PM
Candy, the following account is truefull and accurate. I was delivering a pizza and two girls came to the door and it was obvious they had been drinking. They ask if I wanted to come over after I got off work. I accepted their offer and invited a male co-worker to go with me. When we arrived they asked if we wanted to play strip poker. Now as the game went on we all remove some clothing but nothing substantial. Finally one of the girls lost enough to get down to her bra and boxers, yes boxers. She lost another hand and upon choosing to remove her shorts revealed that she was wearing a pair of panties. I immediately called foul. See these girls were smart and wore a bunch of extra clothing. We only noticed after they lost many hands because we got drunk. Fortunately they weren't very good at poker. Once they realized they were going to be naked before us they decided they wanted to play another game instead. Hide and go seek. They lived in this old three story house so we all went through the house and shut out all the lights. I think both of us "messed around" with both of the girls at one time or another during the game. But to make a long story short. My buddy left and they asked me if I wanted to spend the night since I had been drinking. They said they only had one bed but we could all share. So here I am all snuggled under the covers between two women (on a scale of 1-10, one of them was an 8 and the other a 6.5). I started to tickle the hotter one but she didn't like it. The other one started to "feel me up" but I wasn't into her at all but I figured if I got the hot one too it would be alright. But lo and behold the hot one leaves to go sleep one the couch. It was all just a ploy to get her friend laid. Well I just rolled over and went to sleep after that. Woke up the next morning, snuck out and haven't seen either one of them since.
 
2002-02-01 11:43:13 PM
Ajlull; not really - I'm a philosophy major (student athlete) with a 3.65 gpa
and, well I could go on, but this thread isn't about me
 
SGF
2002-02-01 11:43:35 PM
If the wheel could tilt, it would be the perfect car for Hugh Grant.... lot's of headroom.
 
2002-02-01 11:46:02 PM
Well to put in my $.02 worth even if most of my points have been stated.

Paying for dinner.
I agree, if I ask I pay. Hell half the time I end up paying anyway, not because I look down on anyone, Just because that is how I do things. I LIKE to be able to take someone out.

Holding the door.
Well I always do. It is not just for the women, it makes me feel good. and it was how I was raised. I even rember my grandfather telling me always to.

Nice guys.
Well this one sort of sucks for me, because somehow I ended up in this list.
I agree with Leonard_Cohen on how he laughs.
I was talking to an OLD friend of mine from high school, and she was complaining about her divorce and how there were no good men.
She explained to me the type of guy she had been dateing
Rich, Good looking, some VP job somewhere. And no reason what so ever for keeping any one women around, as there was always another one waiting for him.
My advice to her.
Date that guy from highschool you never considered looking at.
He will love the fact that you are dateing him. and will think you are the most wonderful person on earth.

Oh and another hint. Rember those nerds in school are the ones who make the 6 figure income now.
 
2002-02-01 11:47:39 PM
Nsquark: That sorta sucks... 3 people in a bed has great fun potential. Well, more than potential (insert evil grin and laugh here). Still, I wish I had a really hot friend whose goal in life was to get me laid. Miss 6.5 should be thankful for such awesome sisterhood, even if it blew up in her face. Or, didn't blow up in her face, technically speaking.
 
2002-02-01 11:50:33 PM
Yeah, I coulda been a contenda.
 
2002-02-01 11:51:23 PM
It's called moochery.

I appreciate when a guy pays for dinner.
 
2002-02-01 11:53:40 PM
Dude <B>Nsquark</B>, even she was a 6.5 still... do you know how much nerve some women need to build up to be able to actually make the first move like that, especially with somebody they don't know. Come on.<BR><BR>Also a trick that I learned when I was younger... when with a group of women pay no attention to the hottest of the group. She is used to having attention payed to her and has heard every single line you could possibly come up with. The less physically attractive girl though will be much more receptive to your advances though, having been used to her friends get all the attention. This drives the attractive girls nuts, and many will go out of their way to get your attention. I usually though stick with the less attractive woman because generally they are more fun to be with any how.
 
2002-02-02 12:02:08 AM
Ok the only reason I used the scale was to differentiate between the two when telling the story and to point out that the hotter one was trying to get her less attractive friend laid. I was into the hotter girl but not only for her looks. She was much more exciting and interesting. I was down for a threesome (which I have never had) but not into just miss 6.5 as Candy so eloquently put it. The old ignore the hot chick and she'll wonder why trick doesn't fly. If this girl were simply hot and not intelligent,fun and exciting I would not have even played hide n seek. She was a smarty and she would have seen right through that nonsense. I believe in being open and looking someone right in the eyes when speaking to them. Try it sometime it works. Oh and it doesn't hurt to be interesting yourself too.
 
2002-02-02 12:03:28 AM
Code, this is just like a line that I heard on some tv show (wish I could remember where):

"When you're not in the beauty Olympics, you have time to become a really interesting person."

I personally have always been attracted to women that by most standards are cute at best. Supermodel types need not apply. I think it has something to do with the fact that when I see a supermodel type woman, I cannot for the life of me visualize myself with her. Now your girl next door, she's the one with whom I can spin a million scenarios in my mind.

Besides, real beauty is in how women use what they have, not necessarily pure physical form. Which is why women tend to get more beautiful as they get older. Sure, they may not have the body they did when they were 18, but I guarantee that a 32 year old knows a hell of a lot more about using what she has.
 
2002-02-02 12:05:06 AM
CandyPink...I guess 3 people in a bed has great potential. Unfortunately (maybe), it's only theory for me. When it happened to me, the two girls had partied so much they puked and passed out. One was my date...the other her best friend...who proceeded to feel me up when my date was in the bathroom. They had already kissed earlier too...pretty cool I guess. I've never been much on taking advantage of drunk girls, so I left and slept in my other room. Damn...will probably never happen again...
 
2002-02-02 12:06:46 AM
I think people try to analyze stuff too much. Sometimes a goat is really just a goat.
 
2002-02-02 12:06:49 AM
CandyPink, you still rate the hero tag from the other thread.

I wonder what M2C would have to say on this topic. Any takers?
 
2002-02-02 12:09:30 AM
Nightjars, unfortunately that article got my goat.
 
2002-02-02 12:12:23 AM
John_H_Rand,
I'm guessing M2C would say something like:

"Buy me dinner? A guy doesn't even get to see my unscrambled face unless he buys me a car!"
 
2002-02-02 12:12:55 AM
Men paying for dates is simply legalized prostitution,where the hooker need not reciprocate with cho-chah.

Let's face it... Wait! My wife has informed me that if you ASK for the date, you PAY for the date regardless of gender, this way, the asker/payer has made intentions clear...

OK, she's gone. Men, they're all pirrahnas!!!!! Help me! Help me! It Hurts!
HEEE HEEE
 
2002-02-02 12:16:07 AM
Like intelligences and strengths, the beauties we are born with are, in the first, purely external. All infants are adorably cute, which is a good thing otherwise we would kill the little puke-and-poo-filled bastards.
From that purely external beauty, the new gained are progressivly interior. The combustion like process of the beauties move through prettyness, lushness, senuality, sexiness, sassyness and so on, all the way up to the purely interior, ultimate beauties which include things like elegance, serenity and grace. People who become addicted or fixated upon an early beauty are doomed to tragedy. For, that beauty, or strength, or intelligence, will fade. And, without those later charactoristics, developed by application of will over time, the resultant psychic vacuum left will render the victom a wretch without recourse.
 
2002-02-02 12:17:26 AM
ok Nanookanano time to put down the bottle
 
2002-02-02 12:17:28 AM
CandyPink...and why would you NEED a hot friend to get you laid?? Did I mention that women confuse me?
 
2002-02-02 12:17:36 AM
Candy, I'm not trying to mack on you (seeing as you live in North Dakota) but you collect action figures? Never heard of a woman doing such a thing. Well I collect too and that is very cool.
 
2002-02-02 12:18:08 AM
I am such a bombastic blowhard.
 
2002-02-02 12:18:55 AM
I'm still at work.
I'm like this all the time.
(Isn't that a scary noise?)
 
2002-02-02 12:21:46 AM
Nsquark, I thought it was cool that CandyPink listed her favorite band as Guns N Farkin' Roses.
 
2002-02-02 12:24:10 AM
Shemp, shush! keep it down. We are supposed to be ignoring her.
 
2002-02-02 12:26:42 AM
Hey Code

I see you live in Atlanta, too.
Send me a note and we can grab a brewski sometime.
 
2002-02-02 12:26:50 AM
Besides that last one comment bout the threesome. I think Opening doors and such is real sweet and a definate plus. The only people I dont let open the doors for me is my brother and his friend, they have running competition of who has opened more doors. I wont be a number for them. As for paying, I think the person who asks should pay but if the other person should be willing to throw in on occasion like stopping at a coffee shop afterwards. I'm old fashion i guess but all these little things ends up meaning he's respectful and thoughtful.
 
2002-02-02 12:28:59 AM
ok, i know this is off topic but can anyone explain to me why (and I don't know if this happens to women but from my previous inquiries it doesn't seem so) does one get the shivers after a really long piss?
 
2002-02-02 12:32:31 AM
9/10
Thanks for the compliment 9/10.
I don't actually know much, but I am rather good at saying what I think.
 
2002-02-02 12:43:34 AM
I'm a perfect gentleman. I always remember to put the toilet seat back down when I'm done.
 
2002-02-02 12:43:48 AM
Nsquark Body temperature change? You're releasing a lot of fluid that contains a lot of heat. Think about how much energy it takes to heat a pint (or 2 or 3) of water from room temp. to body temp.
Just a guess . . . I'm willing to be corrected by an MD-type farker.
 
2002-02-02 12:44:52 AM
Nsquark, a good question.

Here's a little of-the-top-of-my-head conjecture. Urine, being mostly water, has a pretty high thermal mass. After a particularly long leak, you've expelled a fair amount of water, all heated to your core body temperature.

Perhaps your body senses a slight drop in core temperature and responds by shivering, which is a reflex action that uses muscle contractions to convert calories into heat.

Just a wild ass guess. Probably wayyy wrong.
 
2002-02-02 12:44:59 AM
I've heard "a gentleman" defined as a man who volunteers to sleep on the wet spot.
 
2002-02-02 12:45:16 AM
Wow all kindsa stuff since I left to watch SNL...

Enphinite: Maybe not *need*... I do alright on occasion, but I *am* home on Fark on Friday night. I'm just not outgoing and perky enough, I guess.

Nsquark: Yep. :) On top of my TV (the pic on my site is a little old) I have Zell Dincht (FF8), Edward Scissorhands (movie maniacs set), Steiner (FF9), a few Homies, a burger kings kids' club glow-in-the-dark fig., Squall Leonheart (FF8), Garnet til Alexandrox (FF9), and The Rock BackTalkin' Crusher. My next acquisition will hopefully be Saruman from LOTR...he has that rad magnetic floating palantir that is just soooo cool. I might have to treat myself to that this weekend. (And yes, I know, I'm sooo off-topic.)

Shemp Mo-Din: Yeah, you're right. Hehe. jk
 
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