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(JuneauEmpire.Com)   "Bong Hits 4 Jesus" banner kid was suspended for 10 days, comes back early and gets arrested   ( divider line
    More: Stupid  
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4790 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Feb 2002 at 8:48 PM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

44 Comments     (+0 »)
2002-02-01 08:53:34 PM  
2002-02-01 08:53:48 PM  
Bong Hits 4 me! Woooooo!

2002-02-01 08:54:37 PM  
Jesus Was Way Cool
King Missile _Mystical shiat_ Shimmy Disc

Jesus was way cool
Everybody liked Jesus
Everybody wanted to hang out with him
Anything he wanted to do, he did
He turned water into wine
And if he wanted to
He could have turned wheat into marijuana
Or sugar into cocaine
Or vitamin pills into amphetamines

He walked on the water
And swam on the land
He would tell these stories
And people would listen
He was really cool

If you were blind or lame
You just went to Jesus
And he would put his hands on you
And you would be healed
That's so cool

He could've played guitar better than Hendrix
He could've told the future
He could've baked the most delicious cake in the world
He could've scored more goals than Wayne Gretzky
He could've danced better than Barishnikov
Jesus could have been funnier than any comedian you can think of
Jesus was way cool

He told people to eat his body and drink his blood
That's so cool
Jesus was so cool
But then some people got jealous of how cool he was
So they killed him
But then he rose from the dead
He rose from the dead, danced around
Then went up to heaven
I mean, that's so cool
Jesus was way cool
No wonder there are so many Christians
2002-02-01 09:03:26 PM  
This poor farker is marked by the Man for life.
2002-02-01 09:04:16 PM  
And crack too. Don't forget crack for Jesus.
2002-02-01 09:07:22 PM  
Yeah that's [image from too old to be available].

It's [image from too old to be available] that Jeebus was a junkie.
2002-02-01 09:10:28 PM  
Bong hits 4 little baby Jesus too!

Oh and Kanonball, they didn't kill him because they got jealous that he was *so* cool. They just got sick of his faggety ass. Always making up stupid stories about the Easter Bunny - I mean god.
2002-02-01 09:12:01 PM  
Jesus: Long hair, sandels, beard, drinking wine, talking about peace and love.

You know damn well he was token the herb.
2002-02-01 09:14:01 PM  
Jeff I didn't write that , It's a spoken word piece by the band King Missile , although they claim it was written by Molly Ringwold
2002-02-01 09:15:35 PM  
what is up with Alaska? When did the fascists take over? They kicked him out of school for 10 days over a lousy banner, then bust him for waiting in his car for his girlfriend? Jeez, business must be slow up there.

Oh yeah, while we're on the subject:
2002-02-01 09:15:48 PM  
My Bong hits for Jesus room......
[image from too old to be available]

Anyone care to join me?
2002-02-01 09:19:59 PM  
Bong hits 4 "Big Baby Jesus" aka the Old Dirty Bastard.
Crack! Wooooooo!

2002-02-01 09:23:03 PM  
Gives new meaning to the catchphrase "Let's roll", yanno?
2002-02-01 09:26:50 PM  
took me awhile to figure out the perspective on that shot... looks like something's gonna 'splode! Then it hit me: man, those are some ugly-ass chairs! been at work way too long...
2002-02-01 09:30:28 PM  
Remember bean bags Doc?
I even have hot chicks bringing us brews, since it's too hard to get up out of those chairs.
2002-02-01 09:31:46 PM  
ACLU = Americans Causing Legal Unrest
2002-02-01 09:33:53 PM  
"Frederick said he has contacted the American Civil Liberties Union regarding the banner incident, and has notified the school district office that he intends to appeal his suspension."

>Groups like the ACLU piss me off in a way. They stick their noses in where they don't belong. If you are too stupid to know your rights, then you have bigger problems than being suspended from school. That is all>
2002-02-01 09:37:18 PM  
Let it be known that schools don't discriminate whether you are wearing pro-life, pro-choice, pro-jesus, pro-weed, whatever you are wearing. They will ban you for life at the slightest stupid thing.
2002-02-01 09:38:58 PM  
Truly this guy kinda is a modern day Jesus don´t yah think?
2002-02-01 09:41:29 PM  
Very fancy, JOHNDX! How's the ventilation in there? Those beanbags, though... there's something very unsettling about their appearance... it looks like a cow had some sort of anal bleeding/pooping problem; fb was involved somehow, I'm sure. I apologize in advance for sharing that with you...
2002-02-01 09:46:31 PM  
Yuk, thanks for the visual.......:)
2002-02-01 09:51:11 PM  
Sorry, it's been an ugly week--my mind is a cornucopia of awfulness. I must go and recreate now (power-sleep more likely). At the sound of the BONGGGGGGGGGGGGG...
2002-02-01 10:28:12 PM  
Damn, this sucks. Was he just being an instigator? Yeah, probably. Do I respect that? Oh yeah.
2002-02-01 10:39:39 PM  
This kid is appealing a suspension? As a professional slacker, I am disappointed in Alaskan youth nowadays.
2002-02-01 10:52:55 PM  
I will only have bonghitz with Jesus if he has the Dank...
Is it always 4:20 in heaven? If so, someone, plz shoot me, now!
Does Big J ( like the pun Big J ((for Jesus)) ) ever have to change the bong water, or is it always crystal clear and fresh smelling?
2002-02-01 11:01:00 PM  
did anyone notice the first "bong hits 4 jesus" article was on dailyrotten_com today?
2002-02-01 11:15:10 PM  
What do bong hits have to do with THE JESUS?
2002-02-01 11:16:02 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2002-02-01 11:20:26 PM  
take a bong hit and go see slackers tonight . im an extra in that movie
2002-02-01 11:52:36 PM  
woohoo.. finally got one posted. This high school's administration wasn't this anal when I attended it years ago.

Once an age limit was put on smoking here in Juneau they did all the higher ups in the school did all they could to write kids up. Even going as far as using binoculars to spy on kids that were on the other side of the school.

You'd never actually see any of the administration lookin' at ya, but you'd get slips for detention by the end of the day. Kinda big brotherish...

2002-02-02 12:26:10 AM  
for a good time, look for "what if god smoked cannabis" or "bong song" on your favorite file sharing service.
2002-02-02 12:30:05 AM  
Once an age limit was put on smoking here in Juneau...

damn, bdk!! how old are you? ;) hehe i'm in juneau too, i submitted the first article on bong hits 4 jesus, you think the newspaper even notices all the views these two articles are getting?
2002-02-02 12:58:34 AM  
Hey JOHNDX, count me in...

But seriously, not only is the school anal, apparently "school grounds" now consitutes anything within sight of the school.

"But principal Skinner, I was smoking that cigarette INSIDE MY HOUSE."

"Well son, your house is on school grounds. I can see your chimney from the roof of the school with binoculars. You're suspended for 10 days, and if you're on school grounds during that time, you'll be arrested."

What a bunch of farking tools...
2002-02-02 01:18:26 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
2002-02-02 02:57:22 AM  
ZekeMacNeil: the ACLU shouldn't be sticking its nose into free speech issues? He expressed an unpopular opinion and was penalized for it. That's exactly what the ACLU is for.
2002-02-02 05:28:41 AM  
Tinker et al. vs. Des Moines Independant School District Clear cut Supreme Court decision, as long as you do not irreversably deny another student the right to their education, schools cannot restrict your freedom of expression.

Bah, new fangled juneau farkers, Im the original! muahahaha :)

JDHS Class of 2004 btw
2002-02-02 06:44:18 AM  
Jesus is my nephew and I DOUBT very much we would be interested in BONG HITS.
His dad's name is Jesus too and he might have had some bong hits when he was younger, but i doubt that he'd want any now. I don't know what the fark that kid is thinking about that.

I bet my cousin Jorge might tho.
2002-02-02 10:35:27 AM  
~bonghits for EVERYONE!~

2002-02-02 10:50:31 AM  
JOHNDX "My Bong hits for Jesus room......Anyone care to join me?

It will take me 3.5 hours to get there from Dallas. Can you save me a bud?
2002-02-02 11:38:06 AM  
My god... loves bong hits.
2002-02-02 02:03:25 PM  
Asp0: I don't even think that the Empire gets 1000 hits in a day. There was another article that was conveniently overlooked by the mods about some transient getting stabbed 22 times on the down docks and the police couldn't get the attacker for attempted murder because none of the stab wounds were more then 1/4" deep.

JDHS Class of 1993

2002-02-02 10:04:09 PM  
haha, that's horrible
2002-02-04 06:09:36 AM  
Maybe they were one of the hundreds of people who participated in "Bong Hits For Jesus" at Mardi Gras in New Orleans last year. Believe it or not, there are some powerful folks out there that begrudge you all the fun and excitement you might be able to enjoy in your lifetime. Every year hundreds of self righteous fundamentalist bigots are bused in from the bible belt to try to bust up the party. They are given bullhorns with which they shout at people, telling them they are going to hell for wearing beads and other crazy slogans, and hateful signs stating that God hates fags and un-submissive wives. Come help ridicule these (UN)Holy Rollers trying to throw a wet blanket on our good time. Visit The Bong Hits For Jesus club: http://clubs/ for more information on how you can help, or just stop by Jackson Square on Mardi Gras day (Tuesday Feb. 12th) and taunt a born again bible thumper.
2002-02-04 06:10:39 AM
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