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(Some Guy)   A bed made especially for those who dwell in Detroit. Michael Jackson wants to trade in his hyperbaric chamber   (qsleeper.com) divider line 74
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10875 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Aug 2004 at 4:42 PM (10 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2004-08-21 09:36:01 AM  
Where's the Michael Jackson reference? All I see is a balding spectacle-wearing middle-management kind of guy holding a woman tightly, whilst she has the horror-struck look that just screams out "Oh my god I can't believe my agent got me this bloody modelling job with this leery creep. He is SO fired. Oh no he's touching me."
 
2004-08-21 09:47:32 AM  
And if you die in your sleep, they can just chuck the whole works in the ground and be done with ya.
 
2004-08-21 10:22:42 AM  
I thought 'for Detroit' meant it was bulletproof. We could really use that in DC too.
 
2004-08-21 10:35:28 AM  
[image from web.iese.edu too old to be available]

Oh my god. No one is going to kidnap you from your bed. Nor is this thing going to keep you safe from a "bio-terrorist attack", which won't happen to you anyway.
 
2004-08-21 02:20:23 PM  
I'm more afriad of clicking a boobies link and seeing an airplane then I am of being kidnapped from my bed.
 
2004-08-21 02:32:39 PM  
Should have called it "Panic Bed".
 
2004-08-21 04:45:00 PM  
When Bucky Fuller, in the '50s (or thereabouts), said something about his little modular home thingies providing good protection from "marauders", it was cute and funny. The mentality that would lead to the production and sale of a bed like this is not cute and funny. It's far scarier to me than any of the things in the ad.

I haven't read that book, knucklebreather, but I want to. Sometime in the next couple years, before I hightail it out of this country.
 
2004-08-21 04:47:41 PM  
Is it Kerry proof?
 
2004-08-21 04:48:15 PM  
The Quantuum Sleeper comes with options for:
- CD player,
-DVD Screen with PC hookup,
-Microwave and Refrigerator



I want one!
 
2004-08-21 04:48:41 PM  
Quantum Sleepers can also be fitted to provide protection from destructive forces of nature such as tornados, hurricanes, earthquakes and floods.

Right, so after the building that it's in collapses rendering you unable to open the doors, you'll be able to wait out those weeks for the rescue team on Shasta and cold cuts.
 
2004-08-21 04:50:10 PM  
The guy in the ad looks too tall to lie down in that bed. Bad photoshop skills.
 
2004-08-21 04:50:14 PM  
La la la la.. Paranoia, Paranoia, everybody's coming to get me....
 
2004-08-21 04:50:33 PM  
is it bullet proof or something?


/didnt read the article
 
2004-08-21 04:52:01 PM  
ahem .... [image from img.fark.com too old to be available] ??
 
2004-08-21 04:53:26 PM  
yikes.

just.... yikes.
 
2004-08-21 04:54:07 PM  
This product is not yet on the market. We are trying to sell the idea/product and are seeking investors to build new prototypes to test and develop. We have a working model (made of wood not polycarbonate). Venders have provided quotes to produce and assemble the various parts, and we have fabrication drawings and parts list for anyone interested in investing or buying the Patent (Patent pending due this month). If you are interested please contact us. The low-end investment is approximately $160,000.

Where do I sign up??
 
2004-08-21 04:55:40 PM  
Fear is your only God
 
2004-08-21 04:58:16 PM  
hmmm... Might I recommend a nightlight for those afraid of the boogieman?

But hey, it's an investment opportunity. Given our culture of fear, this thing could sell.

We are trying to sell the idea/product and are seeking investors to build new prototypes to test and develop. We have a working model (made of wood not polycarbonate). Venders have provided quotes to produce and assemble the various parts, and we have fabrication drawings and parts list for anyone interested in investing or buying the Patent (Patent pending due this month). If you are interested please contact us. The low-end investment is approximately $160,000.
 
2004-08-21 04:58:49 PM  
B3ta.com is the winner again.
 
2004-08-21 05:01:15 PM  
Curse my redundant post.
 
2004-08-21 05:02:21 PM  
Does this mean I have to buy one for my tapeworm?
 
2004-08-21 05:03:37 PM  
So they couldn't afford Lexan to make the model...yeah, I trust it's going to work.

Plus, where the hell is the room for the fridge, microwave, toilet, and all the other stuff? Sleeping in that box would be too much like a coffin for most people to begin with, even before you started taking away even more room for all the other crap.

Not to mention Lexan may be fine for stopping most bullets...but I could defeat it with a good iron. Or even faster with a propane torch. Plastic melts.
 
2004-08-21 05:05:30 PM  
Early model

[image from bpmlegal.com too old to be available]
 
2004-08-21 05:06:27 PM  
Wow...I can't imagine anyone who would buy one of these enjoying life.
 
2004-08-21 05:07:12 PM  
c'mon, you tools. This has nothing to do with Michael Jackson OR Detroit.

/who's greenlighting this shiat?
 
2004-08-21 05:09:26 PM  
... and it has toiletry facilities? So I could conceivably sleep, eat, watch tv, and crap, and never leave the comfort of my bed?

Dude...
 
2004-08-21 05:12:09 PM  

But how do you do doggiestyle sex in there ? Hell, I'd feel like I was farking inside of a coffin in that bed.


Either that, or I'd feel like I was having a 'Texas Style Funeral'.

 
2004-08-21 05:12:42 PM  
I think this is a joke. An elaborate one, but a joke nonetheless.
 
2004-08-21 05:13:47 PM  
That, or a scam.
 
2004-08-21 05:14:01 PM  
Dammit, Sidi beat me to it.
 
2004-08-21 05:19:53 PM  
Hey, uh, if it isn't a joke.. couldn't you just kill the occupants by setting the bed on fire?
 
2004-08-21 05:23:45 PM  
CB radio???

"Break One-Nine, Break One-Nine... What's yer 20, good buddy?"

"I'm in a Quantum Sleeper."

"A What??"

"Never Mind."
 
2004-08-21 05:24:56 PM  
Just one step removed from one of these ...

[image from bronze.net too old to be available]

Sweet dreams!
 
2004-08-21 05:27:18 PM  
yeah, the Detroit reference is because it's bullet proof. And the Michael Jackson reference is because it's an extremely elaborate bed.. (search for M.J. and his hyperbaric sleep chamber, if you don't remember it)

I find the whole concept amusing, but not everything in Detroit is bullet proof. lol
 
2004-08-21 05:29:36 PM  
[image from qsleeper.com too old to be available]

"This bed might save me from gunfire but not from the rocket currently in this guys pants," says Molly, official spokesperson for the Qsleeper "send help.."
 
2004-08-21 05:30:05 PM  
i sleep in one of these to save myself from the boogymen.
[image from bxa.doc.gov too old to be available]
what do you use?
 
2004-08-21 05:31:58 PM  
Finally an update for Ras 'al Ghul
 
2004-08-21 05:41:45 PM  
Someone who doesn't live in Detroit obviously wrote the headline.

/ain't no party like a Detroit party
 
2004-08-21 05:41:58 PM  
Saw this on memepool. Saw SomeFarker's joke on memepool too. Just saying.
 
2004-08-21 05:47:19 PM  
Probably cheaper to just buy a casket to sleep in..imagine it's the same sensation.

/um, yeah, just leave the brochure and get out...
 
2004-08-21 06:10:37 PM  
I just like the part where it says "Toiletry system". Now you can schitt where ya eat (if you install the fridge and microwave) and sleep!! All you need is a fryer for some buffalo wings and a buxom babe and you have near utopia....

/sarcasm
//hope for humanity
 
2004-08-21 06:12:50 PM  
I'll only biy it if if the lid can be covered with mirrors and comes with a life size replica of Dr. Phibes.
 
2004-08-21 06:13:30 PM  
so Jacko has the bends, or what?
 
2004-08-21 06:20:54 PM  
How long is Psychopharmacological going to be able to continue his advertisement campaign here?
 
2004-08-21 06:21:21 PM  
Another idea ripped from Memepool.
 
2004-08-21 06:34:51 PM  
Anyone else notice it opens and closes from the control panel? So in the event of a power outage it goes from bed to coffin instantly. But I guess anyone this paranoid would already have the diesel generator attached to their fallout shelter.
 
2004-08-21 06:37:21 PM  
"Fear is the greatest salesman."
-Robert Klein
 
2004-08-21 06:37:53 PM  
where is the built in gat holder?
that's true detroit style
 
2004-08-21 06:45:45 PM  
errr.what's a gat holder? what's a gat?
 
2004-08-21 06:51:14 PM  
dukwbutter

He means Gattling gun, GIS will yield plenty of results.


There's no way I'd sleep in that thing.. talk about scary in itself.. what's to stop somebody from setting it on fire say? or taking a pick axe to it? I'd rather be out in the open able to defend myself, technology too often fails and there is always the 'better to die on my feet than keep living on my knees' part too.
 
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