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(IOL)   New test can reveal whether boys are virgins   (iol.co.za) divider line 67
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13951 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Jan 2002 at 6:51 PM (12 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2002-01-31 06:53:10 PM  
It says I'm neither
 
2002-01-31 06:53:21 PM  
Just check to see if their name is Fb-
 
2002-01-31 06:57:39 PM  
"...what do they call the white part around the foreskin then?"

Too darn easy....
 
2002-01-31 06:59:19 PM  
These true believers are dumb as rocks.
 
2002-01-31 06:59:54 PM  

"Young boys also have hymen - white lacy skin on the foreskin. If the foreskin on the penis slips away easily, it means the hymen is gone. If the foreskin is sore and hard to move, then it means he is still a virgin," Khumalo said.

Other methods include checking for a certain vein on the penis. "The only time the vein can disappear is when a boy sleeps with a virgin because her vaginal opening is still tight," he said.

"If a boy urinates straight up into the air, he is a virgin. If the urine sprays, he has had sex before."

Khumalo said expert male virginity testers could determine virginity by looking at the colour of the knees. If a man's knees are dark, he is not a virgin.

When Khumalo was told about the doctors' views, he reacted: "Forget about doctors. They don't know what they are talking about. If they say boys don't have hymen, what do they call the white part around the foreskin then?"


And people wonder why the AIDS rate is so high in Africa.
 
2002-01-31 07:00:42 PM  
Africa. Another section of the world that can offer nothing to further the interests of humanity. We could really do well without them.
 
2002-01-31 07:03:00 PM  
Khumalo said expert male virginity testers could determine virginity by looking at the colour of the knees. If a man's knees are dark, he is not a virgin.

Q: How do you tell the head nurse at a hospital?
A: She's the one with the dirty knees.
 
2002-01-31 07:03:09 PM  
"Young boys also have hymen - white lacy skin on the foreskin. If the foreskin on the penis slips away easily, it means the hymen is gone. If the foreskin is sore and hard to move, then it means he is still a virgin," Khumalo said.

My foreskin is probably in a landfill somewhere... what does that mean?
 
2002-01-31 07:03:34 PM  
Now, now, we should be 'saving' starving Africans so they can breed to produce more starving Africans.
 
2002-01-31 07:03:55 PM  
[flamebait]

Deus. Another citizen of the world that can offer nothing to further the interests of humanity. We could really do well without him.

[/flamebait]
 
2002-01-31 07:06:40 PM  
Deus. Another citizen of the world that can offer nothing to further the interests of humanity. We could really do well without him.

Yeah, but it's too much trouble to find him, and everyone else like him.

Everybody knows where Africa is.

Well, almost everybody.
 
2002-01-31 07:06:49 PM  
quote
Young boys also have hymen - white lacy skin on the foreskin. If the foreskin on the penis slips away easily, it means the hymen is gone.
/quote

jumpin' jebus on a pogo-stick, I think that's called 'cheez' man, you should look it up..no, just wash it.
 
2002-01-31 07:07:34 PM  
Other methods include checking for a certain vein on the penis. "The only time the vein can disappear is when a boy sleeps with a virgin because her vaginal opening is still tight," he said.

interesting...

its amazing what some people believe
 
2002-01-31 07:08:31 PM  
Bullshiat, plain and simple.
 
2002-01-31 07:08:55 PM  
That is just bizare.
And these people are Doctors.
 
2002-01-31 07:13:06 PM  
Shiat...there goes the whole 'Course I'm a virgin' line as a workable alternative. Must get new material.
 
2002-01-31 07:14:01 PM  
heh. how amusing. this is all complete b0110cks
 
2002-01-31 07:14:36 PM  
you wanna do WHAT with my foreskin?

 
2002-01-31 07:15:58 PM  
I love how the article makes the scientists sound like idiots.
 
2002-01-31 07:16:52 PM  
You could just ask the boy.

Wait...
 
2002-01-31 07:17:18 PM  
'Doctors... don't know what they're talking about'

Hear, hear!!!
 
2002-01-31 07:18:24 PM  
Oompaloompa: You mean you're siding with the crazy "we made this up" people?
 
2002-01-31 07:18:36 PM  
My friend the witch doctor, he taught me what to say
My friend the witch doctor, he taught me what to do
I know that you'll be mine when I say this to you
Oh, Baby ....
Ooo eee, ooo ah ah ting tang
Walla walla, bing bang
 
2002-01-31 07:18:38 PM  
"If a boy urinates straight up into the air, he is a virgin. If the urine sprays, he has had sex before."

Arse Sphincter says WHAT?

How the hell can this measure anything?
 
2002-01-31 07:21:43 PM  
Oompaloompa: You mean you're siding with Khumalu's crazy "we made this up" people on this?
 
2002-01-31 07:24:03 PM  
double post kinda, bad kitty and all that, sorry
 
2002-01-31 07:28:03 PM  
But what about sex with goats...how is that scored?
 
2002-01-31 07:29:44 PM  
An eight year old boy walks in on his mother taking a bath. He points between her legs and says "Momma, what's that?" His Mom, thinking fast, answered "Um, that's where the Indian hit me with a tomahawk!" The eight year old replied, "EEyeww, right in the coont!"

So, what does this have to do with a virginity test? Nothing, I just thought it was funny.
 
2002-01-31 07:30:06 PM  
"Africa. Another section of the world that can offer nothing to further the interests of humanity. We could really do well without them."

Most probably flamebait, though I'll assume it's not for the sake of argument. So what about America then, seeing as how we're a breeding ground for such astounding religions as Scientology, which asserts that all human health problems can be solved by reading bad science fiction novels and taking crazy pills, and Christian Science, which eschews the use of any medicine no matter what?

Africa, by the way, is a continent, and so does not at all exhibit an across-the-board continuity along the lines of race, ethnicity, or culture. Incidentally, though, I do recall a 60 Minutes piece a few months ago on the President of Zimbabwe. Basically, this guy is a total farknut racist who openly endorses a group of blacks who go around intimidating white farmers to abandon their land. If the farmers refuse, they typically resort to extreme violence such as rape and murder. Anyway, I think it's safe to say that there's a lot that's farked up in Zimbabwe.
 
2002-01-31 07:30:19 PM  
If you ask a boy if he wants to have sex and he says, "I think I already did."
He's probably a virgin.
 
2002-01-31 07:30:37 PM  
...damn filters...
 
2002-01-31 07:35:37 PM  
I'd lay 5 to 1 odds that some uptight white europian christian missionary put them hip to this trick. Sounds like something straight out of the Unexpurgated Dickens. Sexual intercourse between any couple not blessed by the Father with the sacriment of Holy Matrimony causes the the infant fruit of the blessed, magic uterus to weep unconsolably.
 
2002-01-31 07:38:25 PM  
She: It broke when I was riding a horse.

He: Mine was a sheep!
 
2002-01-31 07:38:56 PM  
Good one Batcar.
 
2002-01-31 07:40:34 PM  
Why the dearth of Kentucky jokes? Seems like a natural.

How does a Kentucky mother know when her daughter begins menstruating?

Her son's johnson tastes peculiar.
 
SLF
2002-01-31 07:41:02 PM  
When Khumalo was told about the doctors' views, he reacted: "Forget about doctors. They don't know what they are talking about. If they say boys don't have hymen, what do they call the white part around the foreskin then?"

I think it's called smegma!
 
2002-01-31 07:43:11 PM  
So how many times does the Doctor have to pull back your foreskin before you aren't a virgin anymore. Stroke Stroke Stroke....I bet the boys volunteer day after day.
 
2002-01-31 07:43:31 PM  
"If a man's knees are dark, he is not a virgin"

He's probably gay, they say the nurse with dirty knees is the head nurse!
 
2002-01-31 07:43:54 PM  
I see the logic...


BEDEVERE: How do you know she is a witch?

VILLAGER #2: She looks like one.

BEDEVERE: Bring her forward.

WITCH: I'm not a witch. I'm not a witch.

BEDEVERE: But you are dressed as one.

WITCH: They dressed me up like this.

CROWD: No, we didn't -- no.

WITCH: And this isn't my nose, it's a false one.

BEDEVERE: Well?

VILLAGER #1: Well, we did do the nose.

BEDEVERE: The nose?

VILLAGER #1: And the hat -- but she is a witch!

CROWD: Burn her! Witch! Witch! Burn her!

BEDEVERE: Did you dress her up like this?

CROWD: No, no... no ... yes. Yes, yes, a bit, a bit.

VILLAGER #1: She has got a wart.

BEDEVERE: What makes you think she is a witch?

VILLAGER #3: Well, she turned me into a newt.

BEDEVERE: A newt?

VILLAGER #3: I got better.

VILLAGER #2: Burn her anyway!

CROWD: Burn! Burn her!

BEDEVERE: Quiet, quiet. Quiet! There are ways of telling whether she is a witch.

CROWD: Are there? What are they?

VILLAGER #2: Do they hurt?

BEDEVERE: Tell me, what do you do with witches?

VILLAGER #2: Burn!

CROWD: Burn, burn them up!

BEDEVERE: And what do you burn apart from witches?

VILLAGER #1: More witches!

VILLAGER #2: Wood!

BEDEVERE: So, why do witches burn?

[pause]

VILLAGER #3: B--... 'cause they're made of wood...?

BEDEVERE: Good!

CROWD: Oh yeah, yeah...

BEDEVERE: So, how do we tell whether she is made of wood?

VILLAGER #1: Build a bridge out of her.

BEDEVERE: Aah, but can you not also make bridges out of stone?

VILLAGER #2: Oh, yeah.

BEDEVERE: Does wood sink in water?

VILLAGER #1: No, no.

VILLAGER #2: It floats! It floats!

VILLAGER #1: Throw her into the pond!

CROWD: The pond!

BEDEVERE: What also floats in water?

VILLAGER #1: Bread!

VILLAGER #2: Apples!

VILLAGER #3: Very small rocks!

VILLAGER #1: Cider!

VILLAGER #2: Uhhh, gravy!

VILLAGER #1: Cherries!

VILLAGER #2: Mud!

VILLAGER #3: Churches -- churches!

VILLAGER #2: Lead -- lead!

ARTHUR: A duck.

CROWD: Oooh.

BEDEVERE: Exactly! So, logically...,

VILLAGER #1: If... she.. weighs the same as a duck, she's made of wood.

BEDEVERE: And therefore--?

VILLAGER #1: A witch!

CROWD: A witch! A witch! A witch!

BEDEVERE: We shall use my largest scales!

[yelling]

BEDEVERE: Right, remove the supports!

[whop]


[creak]

CROWD: A witch! A witch!

WITCH: It's a fair cop.

CROWD: Burn her! Burn her!
 
2002-01-31 07:45:44 PM  
And in related news, Salem is holding trials for witches.
 
2002-01-31 07:51:58 PM  
Creep Vassalage
"Africa, by the way, is a continent, and so does not at all exhibit an across-the-board continuity along the lines of race, ethnicity, or culture.
...
Anyway, I think it's safe to say that there's a lot that's farked up in Zimbabwe.
"

Good to see some people actually relise Africas not a single country.

On the Zimbabwe note, don't feel too sorry for the white farmers, they're no angels either. But it is compleatly farked there at the moment anyway.
 
2002-01-31 07:54:15 PM  
Can anyone else see lawyers swarming down there to start as many sexual assult lawsuits they can...
 
2002-01-31 08:13:28 PM  
"Forget about doctors. They don't know what they are talking about." Yes, don't burden me with science, I'm going to get to touch little boys. Apparently this self-proclaimed expert on young men's genitals is not to be trifled with...
 
2002-01-31 08:16:58 PM  
I liked the part where he said that one test is to see if the boy pisses straight up into the air. I can't wait to see doctors administering that one.

Mother: Doctor, is my boy still a virgin!?
Doctor: Yes, although could you please tell him next time to not piss "straight" into my face?
 
2002-01-31 08:30:32 PM  
Three men are in an elevator.
One lets an audible fart and turns beet red.
The other two look at each other and squeal, "A virgin!"
 
2002-01-31 08:41:25 PM  
Blumfe:
"On the Zimbabwe note, don't feel too sorry for the white farmers, they're no angels either."

Get it straight, this thread is about virgins. Are the white farmers virgins? Not for long, heh, heh, heh.
 
2002-01-31 08:45:33 PM  
If I was a guy who they admistered the "if the boy pisses strait up then he is a virgin" test on me I'd be sure to piss on the doctor!

The virginity tests they do on females aren't that acurate (the hymen can break other ways), and all of the ones they named for males are pure sait!
 
2002-01-31 09:16:33 PM  
Most people left Africa around 100,000 years ago and apparently with good reason.
 
2002-01-31 09:29:48 PM  
The white stuff is schmegma it only determines if the boy has washed his penis
 
2002-01-31 09:37:48 PM  
you would think the boy would want people to knoe he was'nt a virgin...
 
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