Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Denver Channel)   Remember the paralyzed Columbine student who forced himself out a window during the shooting? He carried the Olympic Torch today.   ( divider line
    More: Hero  
•       •       •

3786 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Jan 2002 at 5:03 PM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

84 Comments     (+0 »)

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

2002-01-31 06:38:18 PM  
Not to diminish his suffering or whatever, but I agree. If the people carrying the torch are all quadrapalegic gay homeless jews of color, we're just making a parade of shame. At this point, how do you tell this torch from the Special Olympics one?
2002-01-31 06:38:48 PM  
because someone survives a thing as bad as columbine doesn't make them a hero. he didn't help anyone else, he just saved his own ass, like all of us would have done. if anything, thats selfish, not heroic

the only people i can think of that truly deserve to be called heroes are the crew and passengers of flight 93
2002-01-31 06:47:42 PM  
this is sappy and stupid. worst use of hero tag ever
2002-01-31 06:47:47 PM  
Except that flight 93 was shot down.
2002-01-31 06:51:28 PM  
but they deserve to be called heroes if they really did fight the terrorists and crash the plane into a field to avoid hitting washington dc
2002-01-31 06:52:51 PM  
I remember . . . for some reason Shania Twain visited him and she kissed him. He's a hero for that.
2002-01-31 07:03:13 PM  
The first rule of Fiteclub is that you don't talk about Fiteclub.

99.9% of you wouldn't have the balls to make of this kid.

As if anyone who takes his name from a Brad Pitt movie knows anything about balls.
2002-01-31 07:09:01 PM  
ok, why is this kid a hero?!
He jumped out of a window to save his own life while there were others getting shot inside!?

fark that, he ain't no farking hero.
2002-01-31 07:34:38 PM  
Shania Twain = HUBA HUBA
2002-01-31 08:07:08 PM  
That exchange regarding the
img.fark.netView Full Size
tag is the funniest thing I've read in days.
2002-01-31 08:09:15 PM  
Actually, I don't think the
img.fark.netView Full Size
tag is available for links anymore. Neither is
img.fark.netView Full Size
, which I was fond of.
2002-01-31 08:21:33 PM  
Hoosier: I completely disagree with your definition of sport. Speed Skating (and I'll add cross country skiing) fits more within my definition of sport than American football and Baseball do. Football and baseball are games. Baseball: Pitcher spends 20 or 30 seconds setting up for a pitch. A bunch of guys stand on the field. These guys may have to run or throw a ball. Then they sit on a bench, and they may have to get up and swing a stick. American Football: Bunch of guys (many of them fat pigs) stand in a huddle and spens half a minute planning how they are going to spend the next 3 to 5 seconds.
Speed Skating requires extreme physical conditioning (no fatties). These people are machines. X-country skiers (along with cyclists) are considered to be the best conditioned athletes in the world.
If you have a bad day in these events, you lose. You can't rely on 30 other guys to pull you out of the hole. You can't be benched or substituted.
These are the real athletes.
2002-01-31 08:35:20 PM  
You know my dad "once" had a hunting dog that was a super athlete but was also retarded. This dog would run for hours at top speed. Usually just chase butterflies around. One day the dog was left out too long and ran itself to death. I always think of this dog everytime a see a runner, speed skater, bicyclist, x-country skier, etc. Yes these people are in great shape because they are block headed enough to one thing over and over. This requires no skill, only physical conditioning.

Baseball, basketball, hockey, and football require REAL SKILL (doing two or more things at once). Skill is mental, conditioning is physical.

said the armchair quarterback........
2002-01-31 08:37:22 PM  
1)Make fun of unstable classmates.

2)Get shot by said unstable classmates.

3)Carry olympic torch.

God I love this country.
2002-01-31 08:58:31 PM  
I used to think carrying the torch was such an honor til I heard that most of the people carrying the torch this year are Coca-Cola employees. Apparently you just have to work for an Olympic corporate sponsor to carry the torch. Discounts what it means when people who really deserve to carry it do.
2002-01-31 09:08:49 PM  
The two relevant dictionary definitions of "hero" (ignoring mythological and literary definitions) are:

1. A person noted for feats of courage or nobility of purpose, especially one who has risked or sacrificed his or her life.
2. A person noted for special achievement in a particular field.

But I guess some people want to see an addition:

3. "One who barely survives a horrible event."
4. "One who avoids dying while escaping horrible events."

Unless the kid was attempting to help others get out, or did an amazing job of falling out of that window, he's not a hero.

I wish him well, hope he can get on with his life, and support anything he can do to become a better, happier, more fulfilled person. But I'm not going to worship or idolize him.
2002-01-31 09:13:41 PM  
definition of hero: see pic
[image from too old to be available]
2002-01-31 09:24:45 PM  
i don't mean to be insensitive, but this kid is no hero. it seems that a lot of people want to run around labelling anyone who had something bad happen to them a "HERO." that's just stupid, and it diminishes the label "HERO" as applied to real heroes.

hey, i was in a car wreck a few years ago, can i be a hero too?
2002-01-31 09:29:16 PM  
Hoosier: "This requires no skill, only physical conditioning."
You've obviously never done any of these sports. Speed Skating takes a lot of skill, and cycling is one of the most strategy oriented sports there is.
To call them blockheads is just an ignorant attempt at arguing.
Let's review tapes of post game interviews in a football locker room, and then a tape of an interview with Lance Armstrong. I think you will find the difference quite obvious. Lance Armstrong is intelligent and can speak english, and most football players wouldn't have received a GED if they couldn't play footbawl.
Also, the sport that requires the most skill by your definition is pole vaulting. 31 seperate coordinated motions. And you get good at it by doing it over and over again.
I guess you don't become a good pitcher by doing it over and over and over again.
Your argument makes no sense. You obviously know nothing about real sports.
2002-01-31 09:44:30 PM  
I find it funny that cyclists urinate all over themselves while they are racing. he he

If I was the world champion in using one of those paddle-ball-n-string things, would that make me a great athlete? Anyone can be real good at one thing.

Most "sports" are nothing more than a fancy way for a company to advertise its sports equipment. At least the real pro-sports can support themselves with TV revenues and ticket sales.
2002-01-31 09:54:22 PM  
No it wouldn't, but being the champion of cycling or speed-skating would. Try making a real argument for your case instead of using your discarded material from open-mic night.

Outside of the US Pro-cycling is a huge sport, and the ATHLETES have multi-million dollar contracts.
Generally, when you bike, you don't have to urinate. Your body is doing more important things, and your bladder shuts down temporarily, but you wouldn't know that because you've never done it.
2002-01-31 10:10:18 PM  
Tiger woods is paid millions too. Thats because of all the stupid golfers spend millions on golf clubs so they can impress their golfer friends. Every year some new clubs appear, and some fatso golfer buys them thinking they will improve his golf score a little.

Same with bikes. 4 grand for bicycle, no thanks. And those cute little bike pants are just so adorable......

It seems to me a REAL cyclist would WANT to use an old heavy 10 speed from 20 years ago. That would really impress me. But if the $4000 bike makes him happy, good for him, and the bike companies thank you.

What if I was the worlds greatest ditch digger? Are there any shovel companies which might sponsor me?
2002-01-31 10:10:33 PM  
I wouldn't make fun of him to his face? Are you kidding me? Of course I would! What could he do, run after me?
2002-01-31 10:27:05 PM  
I hate golf, but to say that Tiger Woods is not an athlete is another ignorant statement. He is a tremendously strong human being. Take a look at his arms when he swings.

"It seems to me a REAL cyclist would WANT to use an old heavy 10 speed from 20 years ago. That would really impress me."

No, A real cyclist is one with the bicycle, and wants to be attached to a machine that is as fast and efficient as possible.
By your argument, I guess football players should wear the old leather helmets they used to wear in the 50's, and baseball players and hockey players should not wear helmets either. Lets just forget about technology.
If you feel that way,why does your profile say "consider manufacturing as mankinds greatest achievment "
There is obviously no arguing with you. You are right. Fat overweight football players and baseball players are real athletes. Enjoy the super bowl. I heard there will be some great ads for Doritos and Pepsi this year.
2002-01-31 10:44:47 PM  
A machine can be built that can hit a golf ball better than any human. There are motorcycles for moving people from point A to point B, so bicycles are obsolete. Snowmobiles can move people over snow and ice, so skis are obsolete.

But nobody can replace an NFL quarterback with a machine.

Have you seen my new shovel! Its this years titanium model which means I paid an extra $500 for it. Man can I shovel with it. Its just me and my shovel, we are a team. But wait they already make a machine that can dig a ditch. Oh fudge. I guess i'll just use my shovel to pick up dog doo doo.
2002-01-31 10:46:16 PM  
"hockey players should not wear helmets either"

yup, actually causes more injuries than in the old days.

btw- can i be a hero for having diarreah real bad?
2002-01-31 11:55:58 PM  
I find it funny that cyclists urinate all over themselves while they
are racing

That's olympic swimmers, not cyclists.
2002-02-01 12:57:56 AM  
Olympic GAMES not Olympic Sports. A game is a different thing from a sport.

Though I agree with you.
2002-02-01 01:15:24 AM  
i agree with 43%. nothing like being a hero for making fun of people and living to tell about it.
2002-02-01 03:02:30 AM  
Winter Olympix? The mountain with the snow on it does all the work. The guy just stands on skis. Fark the article. Most of you are right on. Kid's not a hero, just lucky. More anti-gun crap from the socialist a-holes who want the UN to take over the US.
2002-02-01 05:17:37 AM  
Haw Haw Haw!!
"More anti-gun crap from the socialist a-holes who want the UN to take over the US."
You got your tinfoil hat on yet?
2002-02-01 08:06:06 AM  
Hoosier, have the center pop the ball into a door in a tank and have it power down to the end zone. Touchdown every time.
2002-02-01 12:01:56 PM  
Climbing out a window then trying to not remain handicapped.

A hero would have been a member of the faculty who carried a gun and shot those freak jackasses when they were killing students.
2002-02-01 04:55:14 PM  
::sniff:: Fiteclub makes me want to join a 12-step program, call up Richard Simmons, and watch Oprah. Thank you for your sensitivity training and showing us the error of our smartass ways! ::snicker::
Displayed 34 of 84 comments

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter

Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.