dude3129

You are the wind beneath my wings.

"Are people so lazy now that we can't even think our own damn excuses? "

You said it.

"Hi. You're annoying/ugly. Bye."

See? It's not like you see these people every day.

"Hey, this is your Escape-A-Date call. If you're looking for an excuse, I got it. Just repeat after me, and you'll be on your way! 'Not again! Why does that always happen to you? ... All right, I'll be right there.' Now tell 'em that your roommate got locked out, and you have to go let them in. Good luck!"

Now this would be hilarious if your date answered your phone and you heard him/her say 'Not again! Why does that always happen to you? ... All right, I'll be right there.'

dude3129, I gotta say you are an inspiration...keep fighting the good fight

Ring Ring
"Hello?...Yes, Doctor. NO - don't worry about calling this late - I've really been worried about the warts - they're spreading..."

Problem solved.

Quaked, I think dude3129 had every right to do what he did. I'd do the same probably...dude3129, let's hope her cell broke after you chucked it out the window and had to walk to get to a phone.

Most parole officers will help you out here. Or so I'm told.

dude3129 Bra-Farking-Vo!

I had this idea two years ago. Planned out in detail. I have a huge list of products and services I thought of years before anyone else made them. It keeps happening to me, but I never get off my butt and patent my ideas when I have them...I'd be a millionaire by now.

I have heard of this move but never from anyone that succesfully pulled it off:

You have a date at your place and things aren't going well, making no progress. Go into the bathroom and come back with your penis hanging out of your fly, as if by accident. One of two things will happen; your date will suddenly get much, much better, or it won't get much worse.

I had an experience that was close. I was going to pick up a girl for a first date, it was dusk, just getting dark. I found her street but couldn't see which house was hers so I just parked it. I hopped out and went to take a leak behind my bumper, girls you may think this is gross but a lot of guys do this without giving it a second thought. Anyway there were no cars coming down the street and no lights on on any of the porches so I thought I was in the clear. Turns out I had parked right in front of her house and she was sitting on her steps waiting for me, about 20 feet from where i was peeing. It was dark enough I dont know if she saw anything but she certainly heard it and it was pretty embarassing. However the date did end up going very well later that night... So there may be some truth to this method.

Gee. Didn't people used to have a friend make this call for them? And save the $5 a month charge?

If you don't have a single friend who can bail you out with a cell call, you really aren't in any need of this service in the first place...

Hey, just be honest. "I can't have sex with you. I've downloaded far too much porn, and real women are simply unattractive to me. Your knees are far too pointy."

dude3129: Damn dude, you need to relax a bit. That was so completely overboard.

Darcius & Quacktheduck

It was my car, my gas, my time, I was going to be paying for the meal (a very nice one too), and I was probably looking at only about 50/50 odds at seeing any cat before the night was through. I figured the least she could do was show me a little respect - piss on her if she wants to act like a jackass. Besides, it's a lesson she probably hasn't forgotten, and won't soon insult any future dates with an idiotic stunt like that.

dude im pretty sure any normal person thinks that was a bit overboard, kicking her outta the car isn't that bad, i woudln't do it but i think its pretty funny, but the throwing the cell phone seems a bit harsh.

Dude3129-

will you marry me?

The $5 a month isn't just for Escape-A-Date. The service is actually primarily a voice-dialing service. It stores thousands of entries -- most phones only store about 10-15 voice dial entries. The other stuff is really just add-ons.

/uses her Voice Connect daily, damnit, and has yet to use Escape-A-Date... my boyfriend wouldn't buy it, and we live in the same place anyway...

It seems someone forgot there are other situations you would find it useful to get out of. Gee grandma I'd love to stick around and help you out with your computer but you look like Jabba the Hut...

alaydis

Dude3129-

will you marry me?

Do it, she's hot.

/Who knew marriage was that easy?

dude3129, maybe you're just really, boring? and maybe can't stand not being the center of attention? Her girlfriend was probably more interesting. It is kind funny, in temper-tantrum PAY-ATTENTION-TO-ME kind of way.

But there are girls out there looking for guys like you. Try looking for recently single ex-co-dependent. They'll take alot of abuse and their world will revolve around you. You may even talk them into giving up all thier friends!

Anyway this service must be a novelty. Imagine having to configure it for a night of speed dating. "I need 20 calls, one every 4 minutes all night"

I like to fark first, if the sex was good and they seem like someone you could connect with, enjoy some pillow talk. If the pillow talk leaves you interested, then makes plans for dinner.

lol....
I could totally see someone accidentally repeating the rest of the message that they're not supposed to

"Not again! Why does that always happen to you? ... All right, I'll be right there. Now tell 'em that your roommate got locked out, and you have to go let them in. Good luck!"

Usually when I find a girl annoying/unattractive, I just take off without paying them.

j/k obviously

Urinating in her hand bag usually works, and if she's into that, well then the date's only just getting started.

Great, another blow to trust between people. How soon is it before everyone has heard the totally gay "my roommate got locked out" excuse and it fails to work as an excuse? This is stupid unless they have a wide variety of excuses.

Five bucks a month?? I could get Total Fark with that!!
As far as ending dates quickly my personality does that anyway. Dating is BS anyway. You spend a wad of cash trying to get into some bimbo's pants. Use the cash for hookers poon guaranteed, no bullshiat, smalltalk, etc.

How about telling the truth for free?

/this is for people that have no spine

Answer phone: "Hello. What?! Kevin? I can't understand a thing you're saying! Your tongue is stuck where? Is my ferret ok? Ok, just hold on, stay there, and don't pull too hard."

Then to date: "Hey, you havent got an angle grinder at home, do you? This won't take too long."

Should add voting to this one...

alaydis

After careful consideration, I say with all my heart: I...

(attention Farkers and Farkettes. This thread is now closed. Please exit the forum immediately. Thank you, and good night.)