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(Yahoo)   CIA checking with Hollywood screenwriters for potential terrorist plots. Have added Harold and Kumar to "don't fly" list   ( divider line
    More: Interesting  
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7045 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Aug 2004 at 1:17 PM (13 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

65 Comments     (+0 »)
2004-08-05 08:47:04 AM  
CIA out of ideas?

2004-08-05 09:21:31 AM  
I thought this was obvious.

Just ask Clancy.
2004-08-05 09:41:26 AM  
You sank my battleshiat.
2004-08-05 09:55:49 AM  
Hey, US Government, let me save you some money. Here is the sum of what they can tell you:

1) Al Queda is really headed by your second in command or a mega corporation.
2) Cut the blue wire. No! Not that one! The other blue wire!
3) Bad idea to chase after the terrorists if it is your last week on the job and you aren't a main character.
4) Just take your kids to school, you'll conveniently walk past a member of Al Queda buying ice cream and you can then just chase them down for questioning.
5) I nominate either Joe Pesci or Chris Rock as your comedic sidekick.
6) The FBI and CIA are powerless against the terrorists, but an ex Green Beret/Special Ops who has a problem with authority will always save the day.
7) At least one of your team is a spy, but don't worry, he/she will have a change of heart at the last second.
8) Every terrorist plot will be able to be foiled in 23 minutes to an hour and a half.
9) An FBI agent who lost his partner in the World Trade Center will battle Osama one on one and win, but he'll do it by his rules after turning in his badge.
10) Never fall in love with the really tough girl-who-is-always-good-with tools. She invariably dies. Always go for the member of your team who is a femme fatale.
2004-08-05 10:32:10 AM  
Just ask Clancy.

Ya' beat me to it....

"We never even thought that someone would try to use an airliner as a missile..."

2004-08-05 11:17:24 AM  
[image from too old to be available]

Maybe the CIA ought to see more movies.
2004-08-05 11:58:08 AM  
They haven't called me yet, but I guess Al Qaeda hasn't started employing CyberDaemons yet either.

A few years back, before 9/11, I read a script called, which was set up at Warners. It was pretty cool, about a big computer related plot to throw the world into turmoil, and it ended with this big sequence where planes were being flown into buildings. Pretty creepy in retrospect.

Strangely, that script has since been adapted into the script for DIE HARD 4.0.
2004-08-05 12:06:05 PM  
I think Tim McVeigh is in some sort of terrorist plot, isn't he?
2004-08-05 12:32:58 PM  
Don't talk with M. Night Shamalayan. he can give you the most implausible shiat you'll ever lay your eyes on. Be warned, CIA. Be warned.

/do not waste your time or money on The Village.
2004-08-05 01:20:37 PM  
Silly CIA.

There's not been plots in Hollywood for YEARS now...
2004-08-05 01:20:41 PM  

2004-08-05 01:20:57 PM  
I heard from lots of people that The Village was GREAT but you had to be able to think to understand it. Haven't seen it yet. Don't think much, either.
2004-08-05 01:22:30 PM  
Old news.... they've been doing this for years.
2004-08-05 01:23:11 PM  
Terrorists ? Who said the bad guys in the movies were terrorists ?

Now give me the code, please ...

[image from too old to be available]

2004-08-05 01:24:25 PM  
So much for my plot to blow up the White House using illegal aliens.

/think ID4
2004-08-05 01:26:28 PM  
This is way old news.
2004-08-05 01:27:00 PM  
I didn't even have to see The Village to know it would be awful. Shamalayan jumped like 6 sharks with Signs.
2004-08-05 01:29:22 PM  
They'll tell them that the terrorists use guns that never run out of bullets. Also, it's vitally important when hacking Al Qaeda's computers to always mutter "I'm in."
2004-08-05 01:30:22 PM  
Doesn't anyone think that this is similar to the dirty dozen and using psionisists to filter out KGB Agents?

/I got nothing really...
2004-08-05 01:30:57 PM  
Actually I liked The Village. Yeah, the plot twist was visible a mile away, but I thought it was overall really well done and interesting.
2004-08-05 01:31:20 PM  
Could Signs have been any gayer?
/not that there's anything worng with that

and overall I think this is a good idea. Good to see them opening their ears and "thinking outside the box", to use a term I hate.
2004-08-05 01:32:00 PM  
What movie talks about the Statue of Liberty having armed guards all around it to help symbolize freedom? I haven't seen that movie yet, but it seems like it would suck.
2004-08-05 01:32:39 PM  
Send in Rambo! He will work with the Taliban to save our POWs from the, I mean...

Send in Chevy Chase and Dan Akroyd! They will work with the Taliban to stop the Russians from launching their nukes, er, uh...

Send in George Clooney, Ice Cube, and {that guy who directed the Beastie Boys viedeos}! They will steal Saddam's gold then help the shiites escape.
2004-08-05 01:34:41 PM  
The CIA could learn how to be a spy agency by watching "Get Smart"
2004-08-05 01:35:38 PM  
Hey, CIA, think outside the box! Buy some long johns, cause it's gonna get coooooooold!

[image from too old to be available]
2004-08-05 01:36:29 PM  
I've been thinking a lot about The Village, and I still think it sucks.
2004-08-05 01:36:43 PM  
Why is the CIA operating on U.S. soil?
2004-08-05 01:37:11 PM  
All they want is the virus!
2004-08-05 01:38:00 PM  
I saw the Village and it was awuful. Where's the CIA and FBI and Department of Homeland Security when the real bombs drop.
Sheesh that was a bad movie...
2004-08-05 01:38:02 PM  
2004-08-05 01:39:19 PM  
The first movie the CIA should be seeing is fahrenheit 9/11
2004-08-05 01:41:12 PM  
didn't RTFA but that has to be one of the FUNNIEST headlines i've seen in a while. holy shiat that was hilarious....
2004-08-05 01:42:16 PM  
Ackbar, anyone?

What happens to me if I have a "great" idea of what a terrorist could do? Call and let them know my great idea?

/Gitmo, one way
2004-08-05 01:47:12 PM  

Yeah, 'cause this never happened during the McCarthy era or anything. Those filthy Holywood types are obviously up to no good, trying to subvert the nation's youth toward terrorism!

2004-08-05 01:48:42 PM  
havent seen this motherfarker in awhile.
[image from too old to be available]
2004-08-05 01:57:39 PM  
They should have checked out The Lone Gunman pilot.

Kind of creepy.
2004-08-05 02:03:03 PM  
I wonder what *the* NPH has to say about this?
2004-08-05 02:08:03 PM  
I'm no prize but DAMN!

I wonder what *the* NPH has to say about this?

Did someone say NMPH? And what wopuld you like me to say?
2004-08-05 02:08:55 PM  
would. I meant would. really.
2004-08-05 02:15:51 PM  
Yeah, perhaps Ms. "No one could've imagined this happening" Rice should've watched The Lone Gunmen, where planes were going to be flown into the Towers. The imagination of writers for horribly-rated TV


2004-08-05 02:19:23 PM  
"Did Dougie Howser just steal my confidentail files?" - George W. Bush in Harold and Kumar goto Washington DC
2004-08-05 02:21:08 PM  
They should of checked Hollywood before 9/11. There just so happened to be a show called "The Lone Gunman" that had planes crashing into the WTC 6 months prior to when it really happened.
2004-08-05 02:22:34 PM  

Umm, You're referring to Spike Jonze, but in the movie, the other one would technically be Mark Wahlberg...

Besides, Hollywood has already been terrorizing us, with plots such as...

[image from too old to be available]

[image from too old to be available]

Maybe Al Queda is secretly running Hollywood and trying to rot our brains with obscenely stupid movies.
2004-08-05 02:26:59 PM  

You may very well be NMPH, but the NPH is Neil Patrick Harris, something you should recognize if you watched "Harold and Kumar."
2004-08-05 02:28:06 PM  
'Six/Three Days of the Condor' had the CIA doing this 30 years ago. Not Invented Here syndrome I guess.
2004-08-05 02:32:49 PM  
Man, I nearly flipped when I heard Condi try to claim "we couldn't imagine something like this happening" as an excuse for why 9/11 wasn't prevented. It's not a hard concept... commercial jets make ideal guided missiles. Tom Clancy (among others, it seems) wrote about it 7 years ago!

Plus I've never seen a good picture of that woman. She always looks like she's passing a kidney stone.
2004-08-05 02:47:20 PM  
The CIA also ran a round-table discussion with 10 science-fiction authors so intelligence analysts could see how the writers spun possible scenarios.

Khan Bin-Laden is now seeking revenge upon Admiral George W. Bush for having imprisoned him on a desolated desert country.

Barely alive, Bin-Laden's body is recovered by a group of renegade cyborg space-ninjas, who re-build his body using the newest technology and advanced weapons...

The now Cyber-Laden launches a devistating attack against the US to regain control of the wormhole, destroying the still undefended space station Deep Trade 9, and causing devistating damage to the rest of the Starfleet...

[image from too old to be available]
2004-08-05 02:48:53 PM  
commercial jets make ideal guided missiles.

Richard Bachman/Stephen King, The Running Man. The book, not the movie.
2004-08-05 03:02:07 PM  

Thanks. I forgot about Marky Mark!

Maybe Al Queda is secretly running Hollywood and trying to rot our brains with obscenely stupid movies.

I thought that was the Jews' job?

2004-08-05 03:05:29 PM  
Isnt this story like about three years old?
2004-08-05 03:27:03 PM  
Damn, you beat me to Three days of the Condor! Good flick though.
PS. Forget the remake of Manchurial Candidate. See the original. Frank rules!
2004-08-05 03:32:45 PM  
"See the original. Frank rules!"

You ain't kidding. Caught it on PBS this past weekend. Whew. Blew me away.
2004-08-05 03:58:05 PM  
Dude, you were passed out for like, half an hour. I thought maybe if I started doing some gay shiat that you'd finally wake up.
2004-08-05 04:00:11 PM  
GREAT! Now we will get a HOST of new security alerts,with out any sustantial proof!!!

BTW. How many coolers assploded on the 4th of July.

Hate the players not the game!
2004-08-05 04:04:12 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2004-08-05 04:10:47 PM  
No way. Denzel Washington pwns Frank's sorry ass.
2004-08-05 04:14:56 PM  
I left some love stains in the back.
2004-08-05 04:40:04 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

" . . . You see, this is the problem with terrorists. They're really inconsiderate when it comes to people's schedules."
2004-08-05 04:43:54 PM  
Fark that, what we really need is Bush, Cheney, and Rice vs. Kerry, Edwards and whoever their Security person is, in a game of CS, whoever wins gets their seats. Then for a tiebreaker, a little TFC. I thought Battlefield Vietnam, but I think Kerry'd have the advantage there.

/too many shooters
2004-08-05 05:04:52 PM  
Hey, as far as I'm concerned, this is the first really intelligent thing they've done since the World Trade Center bombing. Everything else has been aimed at preventing attacks the terrorists already used.

Terrorists used guns to hijack airplanes, so we disallowed guns on board.
Terrorists put a bomb under the WTC, so we protected against that.
Terrorists used knives to hijack airplanes, so now we can't take knives on board.
Terrorists used a shoe bomb, so now we check peoples's shoes.

This is the first time I've seen the people in charge actually ask outsiders to look at the security measures, and suggest new avenues of terrorist attack. Assuming they listen to what they're told, I may actually start to feel safer.
2004-08-05 06:08:55 PM  
a senior CIA official said on Wednesday the spy agency was willing to "push beyond the traditional boundaries of intelligence".

Hollywood screenwriters definitely fit that role....
2004-08-05 06:38:51 PM  
This happens on a yearly basis as i understand it, its like the coolest camp ever. What they do is run through and create situations that the CIA, FBI, NSA and whoever else can use in simulation and other theory sessions to come up with viable plans against or become aware of stuff they didnt think of. I've wanted to do this for a few years now, no luck yet!

I have however heard of some really cool plots that have come outta these meetings.

/True Story
2004-08-05 06:53:23 PM  
Shades of Macarthy
2004-08-05 07:52:15 PM  
Maybe they should try asking some native New Yorkers. Over the last three years I've come up with dozens of horrific ideas.
2004-08-05 09:44:42 PM  
"Harold and Kumar go to WhiteCastle" is a surprisingly good movie.
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